Last Night In London
by DylanLovesBrenda
Summary: Brenda gets offered a spot in the most famous and prestigious theater in Los Angeles. Moving back brings back old wounds, old feelings and a BIG old secret. Takes place in 2003, 3 years after the series finale. HEA BD, BK, DK as close friends.
1. Chapter 1

_Ok don't hate me. This idea came to me days ago while reading Dearly Departed by_ _Analyse Dare, which I'm loving btw!_ _This story takes place 3 years after the season finale. Brenda and Dylan were living in London for 3 years and he left her. no apart for two years lie. Dylan moved back to Beverly Hills 5 years ago. Kelly and Dylan did try again after David and Donna's wedding but it didn't last and they are back to being good friends. They haven't been together in 3 years. JUST FRIENDS_

 _ **Last Night In London**_

 _Chapter One_

 _Same Eyes_

Dylan made his way into the small coffee shop on Doheny and looked around. He smirked as he saw her, at a table in the corner sipping from a large coffee cup. With his hands in his pockets he approaches her.

"Well if it isn't the very sexy Kelly Taylor." He eyes her with a smirk and she smiles up at him. She shakes her head as Dylan pulls the empty seat across from her and sits in it.

"Don't tell me…you ended things with Michelle, what was wrong this time?"

Dylan smirks, "Her name was Grace and she was too clingy."

Kelly rolls her eyes, "Who is Grace, I can't even keep up? Let me guess she wanted to spend more time with you and that meant clingy…you're hopeless, you'll never settle down." Kelly sighed and took a sip of coffee. She watched Dylan order a plain black coffee from the server. Her and Dylan were close friends, maybe even best friends these days but boy was she happy they ended the romantic side of their relationship years ago. Dylan these days was the definition of a bachelor. These coffee meet ups were a weekly occurrence and every week it seemed Dylan had new flavor of the week and she was always was gone the following. She didn't understand how someone could live that way.

"Ah you know me…just haven't found the right one yet I guess." Kelly lifted her eyebrow and just looked at him.

"You never give them a chance." Kelly mumbled.

"Alright...alright, enough ragging on me…how's Adam? Things spicing up yet?" Dylan thanked the coffee girl politely and watched her ass as she walked away.

Kelly shook her head again, ignoring Dylan checking out the barely 20 something Barista, "It's good…and if you're asking if we've slept together…no not yet."

"What's the hold up?" Dylan takes a sip of his hot coffee.

Kelly shrugs, "I dont know…he kind of reminds me of someone…I can't put my finger on it. But he hasn't really made the move yet."

Dylan chuckles, "He is a wanna be Brandon…and you know it. Plus if the guy doesn't want to get into Kelly Taylor pants, he is either too dumb or gay."

Kelly's mouth drops, "He is not a wanna be Brandon and maybe…he is a respectful guy Dylan…unlike you. Besides…don't point fingers at me regarding Brandon…every girl you date is a brunette that kind of resembles another Walsh we both knew once upon a time."

Dylan becomes visibly uncomfortable, "Let's change the subject." he says as he looks out the window.

Kelly smirks, "Don't dish it out if you can't take it back." she tells him playfully.

Dylan smirks and shakes his head. "How's work?"

Kelly shrugs, "Kids are jerks." she laughs, "Okay let me rephrase that teenagers are assholes."

Dylan chuckles, "I've heard that actually. Crazy we are adults now huh. No more cruising around town on the bike, no more beach club or make out parks up Mulholland. Making out…" Dylan sighed loudly, "I miss making out."

"Oh please…I think making out is a regular occurrence to you still."

"Do I sense some jealousy Ms. Taylor. Want to come back to my place? Make out…you know we were pretty good at that part of our relationship." Dylan wiggles his eyebrows seductively.

Kelly bursts out laughing, "No thank you." she shakes her head, "That was the only thing we had and that ship has sailed years ago. Besides you're a walking STD these days." Kelly took a sip of her coffee.

Dylan feigned offended, "Excuse me…I get tested every 3 months…and I never dip the goods without proper packaging. You of all people know that."

"I know…I'm kidding. I should get back to school. We still on this weekend for Steve's barbecue? You want to ride over together?"

"Of course." Dylan got up. He leaned in and kissed Kelly on the cheek. "Thanks for meeting me." Dylan threw down money covering both their coffees. They began walking towards the door. Dylan grabbed it opening it for Kelly as they stopped to say their goodbyes on the sidewalk.

"Anytime." She smiled at him, "Sorry about Michelle or Grace." she said sincerely making a oops face.

"Eh…there are other fish in the sea." He took a deep breath and looked across the street. There was a brunette, amazing body, long dark brown hair, petite, had a nice ass. Kelly's eyes followed his.

"Grace who?" she mumbled and shook her head. "Call me later. Bye" she smiled walking toward her car down the street. Dylan was and will always be a man whore. She figured she'd get the low down on Dylan's newest play thing later.

Dylan just nodded as he stared, he waited for her to turn around so he could see if the face matched the rest of the package. She didn't, then the bags she was holding toppled to the ground, she squatted and tried to collect them again. Dylan's feet moved on instinct as he jogged across the street. He knelt down beside her.

"Let me help you with this." he grabbed a couple bags she hadn't picked up. The brunette recognized the voice in an instant. Her head shot up just in time to see the helpful stranger's face look up at her own. She froze. Deep brown eyes looked into her grey blue ones.

"Bren?" he whispered, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Is that you? Oh my god? Brenda!"

Brenda came too and stood quickly, she watched as Dylan slowly raised to a standing position holding her bags. He held his smile as she felt his eyes travel down her frame, checking her out, "You look…incredible." he shook his head, she looked better than incredible…just as he remembered.

Brenda took a deep breath. Her head looking into the boutique she stood in front of quickly before making eye contact again. "Hey Dylan." she said quickly. "How are you?"

Dylan shook his head out of his trance, "I'm okay…you?"

Brenda shrugged, "I'm good." She swallowed hard looking into the store again, before her attention went back to him.

"Are you living here now?" he asked hopeful.

Brenda nodded, "Ah yeah…moved back maybe a month ago. I got offered a spot at The Los Angeles theatre." she shurgged. "So we uprooted from London last month. Still getting situated." she held up her bags with a small smirk.

"We?" Dylan's heart broke and the first thing he did was glance at her left ring finger, thankfully is was empty. His eyes met hers again. She was too beautiful to be single.

"I mean…I…I uprooted from London." She looked down and exhaled. _FUCK_ …she thought.

"Oh…well welcome home." Dylan smirked at her. It was the famous Dylan smirk that had women naked within seconds and riling under Dylan in a matter of minutes. She took that second to look him over. The years had been good to Dylan. He still looked sexy…hot…still thin…had facial hair now…still had that confident sexy air to him that made her mush, she smiled at him.

"God." Dylan looked at her and breathed out, "It's been a long time."

Brenda nodded, "Yeah…it has."

"It has to be going on what?"

"5 years." they both whispered at the same time. They looked at each other intensely. It's like time stopped. getting lost in each other neither had noticed the boutique door swing open and out ran a little girl.

"Mommy." she called out happily and hugged her mothers legs tightly.

Dylan's eyes left Brenda's and settled on the most beautiful little girl he had ever seen. Long brown hair. Lighter than Brenda's, had the most gorgeous wave to it. Her arms hugged Brenda's legs tightly as her big brown eyes stared up at him. She looked just like Brenda. Except for the eyes, those were different than hers. In shape and in color, familiar.

"Mom?" he muttered, Dylan's eyes fell on Brenda's again, "You're a mom now?" he couldn't help the sorrow in his voice.

Brenda sighed nervously, "Yeah…I'm a mom." her voice was quiet. She looked down at her daughter and smiled. Silence reined over the two long lost lovers. In keeping one arm around her mothers legs, the little girl reached out her hand.

"Hello…my name is Olivia Walsh." Dylan smiled, her little voice had a slight British accent. He knelt down to her level. Tears brimmed Brenda's eyes and she tried to hide her emotions. She could not believe this was happening.

Dylan's large hand met her tiny one in a gentle handshake, "Nice to meet you Miss Walsh…my name is Dylan McKay."

Olivia eyes widened, "Mommy…just like my mid..." Brenda's hand came over her mouth quickly.

"Olivia sweetie why don't you run in to get Claire…see if she is almost ready." What Olivia was about to divulge long forgotten by the little girl.

"Alright mommy, Nice to meet you Dylan…I like your name." She smiled like she was hiding something. Dylan stared at the little girl, those eyes, the shape of her eyes so familiar. He shook his head and gave the little girl a smile.

"Nice to meet you too sweetie." The girl went to run back in the store, "Oh and Olivia…I like your name too, that was my grandma's name." he grinned at her.

The little girl smiled widely and went inside to find her nanny.

"She's beautiful Bren." Dylan shook his head breathing out as he stood up.

"Thank you." Brenda uttered quietly. Silence surrounded them again. Dylan for the first time realized how familiar her eye shape was. His head shot up as he looked deeply into Brenda's, trying to find our the answer to the question that shot through his head a minute ago. Brenda swallowed hard everything she had kept a secret now at bay. Anger radiated over him at that moment. She wouldn't? Brenda wouldn't have kept this from him.

"How old is she?" his voice barely over a whisper, afraid to know the answer. He hadn't seen Brenda in 5 years…she looked about that age, possibly younger.

"Almost 4." The air left Dylan's lungs quickly. He wasn't aware he had been holding his breath, she wasn't his. He thought he would feel relieved but he didn't. His chest felt tight. Brenda had a baby with another man. It must have been after he left.

The bell from the boutique door sounded loud as it swung open. Dylan looked to see a woman holding Olivia's hand. Blonde hair, pretty and sweet looking. The woman's smile faded, Dylan had never seen this woman before, but by her eyes and expression, she recognized him.

"Uh Hi." Claire said uncomfortable.

"Dylan McKay." he held out his hand to her.

She stuttered and shook his hand, "Claire…Claire Hines."

"Claire is my personal assistant, nanny…friend." Brenda laughed, "She just about holds every title." Claire chuckled, the smile not reaching her eyes.

"Nice to meet you." Dylan said as he looked down at the little girl. He could have sworn the shape of her eyes was familiar. Maybe he knew the father, someone from London? It wasn't appropriate to ask.

"Well…I should get going…it was good seeing you Dylan." Brenda gave him a sad smile. She saw the wheels in his head working but it hadn't seemed he caught on. She was relived.

Dylan shook his head, his eyes meeting hers again, he nodded, "Yeah….you too." he finally relaxed a little. Before he knew it he was embracing her. His eyes closed as he buried his face into her neck and inhaled. Brenda's arms hung limply to her side. After a moment, one by one they circled around his waist tightly. Her eyes closed, his familiar warmth and smell surrounded her. They clung to each other until a small giggle left Olivia's lips. Brenda was the first to break the embrace.

"I'll see you. Take care." Brenda said turned to walk the opposite way down to the car.

"Ah Bren?" Dylan called out. He smiled a sad smile and held up her forgotten bags.

Brenda shook her head with a smile and took the 4 steps towards him. She reached for them, her hand gently grazing his. Electricity shot through them. It was so strong she pulled her hand back thinking they shocked each other. She chuckled reaching and taking the bags. With Dylan's free hand and Olivia and Claire feet away from them, he grabbed her hand. Electricity shot through, it pulsed through them as their eyes met.

"Can I see you again?" he asked hopeful.

She smiled at him, "Um...Sure." Dylan reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. She let go of his hand and took his cell phone from her. She added her contact information and smiled handing it back to him. "See you around Dylan." she said and like that she met with Claire and Olivia and walked down the street.

Dylan took a deep breath, watching them. When they were out of sight around the corner, Dylan looked down at his phone. He smiled reading the new contact she had entered. _Bren (310) 555-0412._

Brenda sat at her living room table. She gripped her glass of red wine, practically staring at the wall. "Olivia is finally asleep." Claire broke Brenda's thoughts.

Brenda looked at her, she sighed, "Thanks for staying late and helping me put her to bed." It wasn't a normal occurrence but with running into Dylan, Brenda had been a mess.

Claire nodded quietly and took a seat so she faced her, "Are you okay?"

Brenda looked at her friend with tears in her eyes. "I'm going to have to tell him. Being in London was one thing but here...in the same town...it just doesn't feels so wrong."

Claire nodded and took a deep breathe. "Everything happens for a reason Brenda. Maybe now is the right time." Claire had been Brenda's friend, neighbor, babysitter, personal assistant and confidant for a while now. Claire had been left at the alter, had no family to speak of and had just lost her job. It wasn't difficult to talk Claire into moving out to LA with her and helping her with Olivia.

"He's going to hate me." a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You tried to get a hold of Dylan in the beginning." Claire knew the story well.

"Not well enough." Brenda admitted. She had tried to call Dylan after they broke up. She left messages, all three had gone unreturned. Brenda gave up after that, too heartbroken and bitter to keep trying.

"You want me to stay?" Claire reached out and touched Brendas arm that lay on the table.

Brenda gave her friend a sad smile and lay her other hand on hers. "No...I appreciate you staying late...go home...I'll see you tomorrow. I have to be at the theatre at 8."

"Then I'll be here at 7:30 to get Olivia off to dance camp." Claire smiled. "You know...that Dylan is even hotter in real life than in your pictures." she giggled.

Brenda's head rested on her arm, "I know." she whined.

"Night." Claire laughed and showed herself out.

Brenda groaned as she lifted her head. She grabbed her wine glass taking a sip. She couldn't believe Dylan didn't catch on. I mean they had been together 5 years ago, Olivia was almost 4 years old, weeks from it actually, she was born in August. She couldn't believe someone as smart as Dylan could just miss the math so much. Dylan left in November of 1998. Olivia was born August of 1999, exactly 9 months after. Not only that...she had his eyes. Brenda had to look into them daily. Brenda did not know Dylan was living here, last she had heard from Brandon, he was traveling the world. Never staying put in one place for too long. In the back of her mind when getting offered this position in LA, she feared that this would happen. She just had hoped LA was big enough for both of them if he happened to be here. She shook her head then closed her eyes. Guilt rushing through her. Seeing him again, those feelings everything going to the forefront strong as ever. Also the pain he always gave her like a fresh wound. There was no easy way to tell someone a secret this huge. Her phone chirped from the kitchen table. She reached for it. Her breath caught in her throat seeing the unknown LA number. She knew who it was. Who it had to be. It read simply.

 _We have to talk_

 _Ok so what do you think? Next chapter goes back to Dylan after their meeting and leads to this moment and after. I don't know if this is something I'll carry on for a while but I guess your thoughts will decide that. Let me know!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

 _Discovery_

Dylan drove around aimlessly. He couldn't believe the petite brunette he had been checking out across the street had been Brenda. He could not believe the feelings it spurred in his belly. He could not believe Brenda was a mom. That Brenda had shared a child with another man. He couldn't understand why this bothered him so much. I mean he hadn't spoken or seen Brenda in years. it wasn't weird she had moved on, had other relationships. Dylan sure had. He had more than even normal, if thats what you could even call them. She said we relocated. Sure it could have just meant her and Olivia but it could have also meant we as in Brenda, the father and Olivia. Dylan gripped the steering wheel tightly. He turned onto Kelly's street, skidding to a halt in her driveway. He knocked profusely on her front door. It opened under his hand.

"Geez…wheres the fire?" Kelly said annoyed as Dylan brushed past her without being invited in.

"What's with you?" She closed her door, eyeing him as he sat anxious on her couch.

"You'll never guess who I ran into today."

"Who?" she asked interested and walked over sitting in the chair facing him. Dylan's elbows rested on his knees as his leg bounced nervously. His eyes met a concerned Kelly.

"Brenda."

"Brenda is town?" Kelly's eyes widened. No matter how close her and Dylan were they never talked about Brenda. Kelly knew deep in her gut she was a soft subject for Dylan and honestly he had never confided in her about Brenda much.

"The brunette…across the street." his voice in anguish.

"The brunette you were planning on making your next victim…was Brenda." Kelly laughed out loud finding the irony of it all hilarious.

Dylan stared at her. Finding no humor what so ever behind it.

"I'm sorry." Kelly pursed her lips together to try not to smile. "Well…how is she? is she here for a play?"

Dylan sihged, "She lives here now. Working for an LA based theatre company. She looked good. Seemed well." Kelly smiled. He had it so bad for her still. "She has a kid…a daughter" he looked down sadly.

"She does?" Kelly became glum. She hadn't talked to Brenda in so many years. She had no idea she was a mother. This fact saddened her. "How old is she?"

"Almost 4 she said." Kelly's eyes got wide. Dylan chuckled a little, "I have to admit…there was something about her. I thought maybe she was mine." Dylan's sad eyes met Kelly's.

"Was the father there?"

Dylan shook his head, "No…she had an assistant or nanny of some sort. She wasn't wearing a ring…not sure if the father is involved." Dylan clasped his hands together, "Fucking loser." he utters thinking of the possibly of Brenda doing it all alone and some dead beat asshole. "it was weird though Kel…she was beautiful. A sweet little thing. She looks just like Bren." Kelly smiles as Dylan describes her, "It's just her eyes…they were familiar. Smaller in size than Brenda's but still big and a warm brown. I know this sounds crazy but she kind of looked like me. It was like looking at my mothers eyes almost."

Kelly smiled sadly, "You and Iris did look a lot alike. And there is no way? I mean…I know you haven't talked much about your time in London, just that you lived together for three years and that you lied about breaking it off with her when you first came back here but I mean…there is no way? You didn't sleep together before you broke up?" Kelly wasn't sure Dylan would give her this information. He never talked about her. Never…it almost seemed to painful for him.

Dylan smiled, "Kel…the girl is 3 years old."

"You said she was almost 4."

"Exactly…even if her birthday was tomorrow…I haven't been with Brenda in 5 years. It doesn't add up. Why does this bother me so much?" Dylan says almost to himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked down.

Kelly looks at him, thinking. "Uh Dylan…you do realize how babies are made right?"

Dylan looked at her straight faced, was she serious?

Kelly chuckled, "When two people love each other, they love each other so much that a baby is made." she says with humor in her voice as she smiles.

"You aren't funny." Dylan rolls his eyes at her jab.

"Do you honestly not get it? Look I'm not saying the girl is yours, I don't think Brenda would keep something like that from you, but if you left in November of 1998 and the little girl is almost 4, that means she was born in 1999." She looked knowingly at a straight faced Dylan. She raised her hand counting on her fingers, "November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August…around there. It's the beginning of August and you said she was almost 4…that's nine months Dylan."

Dylan's eyes widened. She wouldn't have kept that from him. There was no way. He breathed out and shook his head, "There is no way. I know I haven't seen Bren in a long time…but I know her. I know her better than anyone, there is no way she wouldn't have told me she was pregnant. There is no way. Besides we have no way of knowing when Olivia's birthday is. It could be 3 months from now and she could still be almost 4."

Kelly shook her head, "You're right…no your probably right. Could be or…maybe she was cheating on you?" She said honestly and Dylan glared at her.

"You're mean." he said simply and Kelly shrugged and mumbled a sorry.

"There is just something about her Kel…it's like I want to see her again. What is wrong with me? She is some other mans kid." Dylan was clearly having a hard time. She got up and sat beside him. She wrapped her arm around him and he rested his head on her shoulder comfortably. "The feelings…they are still there."

Kelly nodded knowing he was talking about Brenda, "I know." she whispered.

"Should I call her? She gave me her number?"

"I think you should…but it's up to you. Her name is Olivia? That's a pretty name." Kelly smiled.

"It's my grandmothers name." Dylan's voice somber.

Kelly froze, she got up leaving Dylan on the couch and grabbed her laptop. He watched her curiously as she pulled up google and typed in Brenda Walsh. "What are you doing?" Dylan looked at the screen.

"Brenda is a known theatre actress…she has a wikipedia. I've searched her before." Kelly says nonchalantly.

"Wicka what? Searched her…you're an online stalker?" Dylan chuckled, he wasn't very internet savvy. He had email and searched the web, but that was about it.

Kelly shrugged not answering. The page popped up and she read out loud. "Brenda Walsh is an american actress best known for her portrayal in London's award winning Cleopatra. Part of the Los Angeles Theatre company. Born November 20, 1975 (age 28 years)… 5'3, significant other…Dylan McKay." She elbowed him and smiled.

"What?" Dylan smiled and looked more closely. Look at that.

"Parents…James Douglas Walsh, Cynthia Anne Walsh…Sibling…Brandon Walsh." Kelly and Dylan froze. Silence filled the living room as they both stared at the screen. Dylan took the computer screen from her and rested it on his lap. His thumb and index finger enlarging the page as he ran it across the mouse area.

"Children…Olivia Dylan Walsh." Dylan whsipered. "Oh my god." his hand came over his mouth. "She's mine. Kelly?"

"Oh my god." Kelly whispered.

Dylan looked at her with tears in his eyes, "She's mine." he shoved the laptop at Kelly and stood up. He watched the ground as he paced back and forth. "I have a daughter…Brenda and me have a daughter, she was pregnant and we have a daughter, she's mine." he was whispering like a chant. He froze and looked at Kelly, "She didn't tell me I have a 4 year old daughter!" he said loudly. He grabbed the phone from his back pocket almost fumbling with it.

"Who are you texting…Dylan?" Kelly said almost frantic.

"I'm texting Bren."

Kelly got up as she watched him, "What are you going to say?"

"I have to talk to her…I have to find out why she decided to take away the fact I was a father." Dylan said angrily as he rushed out of Kelly's house. The door slamming behind him, startling her as it shut.

Dylan sat in his car, he stared at the text.

 _We have to talk._

Willing her to write him back. How could he have been so stupid? He had the chance to confront it all earlier. Of course a woman is pregnant for 9 months, fuck thats almost a year. Their kid wouldn't have been 5…she would have been 4…or in this case turning 4. Dylan didn't admit it until this moment but he knew even this afternoon, He had known, it was a overwhelming feeling. He wanted to take her into his arms. He loved her. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was Brenda…but she looked like him too. There was no denying it now. The eyes, they were his eyes. it was like staring in a mirror. The wave of her hair, like his…like his mothers. Even the color. Dylan closed his eyes, tears rolled down his face. Brenda had kept this from him. How could she have kept this from him? Did she think that little of him? That he wouldn't want to be apart of it? He would have. Dylan loved Brenda…he still did, throwing himself in different women all the time to try to forget about her. All brunette, all resembled her. He knew it, Kelly knew it…Steve…David…Donna…they all silently knew it. The one woman that Dylan had loved more than anybody…had betrayed him. He sat in his car looking at the text screen again. No response. It had only been minutes but Dylan felt like it had been hours. He dropped the phone in his lap and gripped the steering wheel, resting his forehead against it as he cried. Then…his phone dinged. He grabbed it quickly reading wiping his tears quickly.

 _225 S. Hamilton Dr. Apt 307, Beverly Hills._

He shifted is his car into drive and peeled out of on to the street. He wracked his brain, Hamilton…Hamilton…he knew where that was. She didn't really live that far from himself, their streets were practically parallel. 1 block…maybe 2 at the most. Turning on to Hamilton he slowed, looking in the dim street lighting. He stopped as he saw a modern building, 225 S. Hamilton. He pulled into an open space and shut the engine off. Dylan looked up at the large apartment building and took a deep breath.

He slowly climbed the steps, glancing at the numbers surrounding him, 307? Third floor. He went and found an elevator, pressing 3 as the doors closed. He almost felt suffocated, he had no idea what he was going to say to her. He tried to take calming breaths, he didn't want to yell, he wanted answers. He wanted to know why? He wanted to know why she took this away from him? The doors opened with a ding as he followed down the hallway. Mid way through, he read the silver numbers across the big wooden door. 307. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and knocked.

Brenda opened the door. His breathe getting caught in his lungs. She took his breath away. Standing there in tight lounging pants, a tank top, her dark hair flowing, laying perfectly over her shoulder, her eyes red brimmed and glassy. She visibly swallowed hard and moved to the side silently inviting him in. This was her greatest fear yet something she had wanted for 5 years.

She shut the door and turned, he was standing there, staring at her. Tears brimming his eyes. She wanted to run to him, she wanted to hug him and she wanted him to hold her. She stood there planted in the spot. Waiting for him to ask the question she knew he was about to ask.

"When's her birthday?" he asked quietly.

"A-august sixteenth." Silence reigned for a long time after that, Brenda avoiding his eyes.

"She's mine?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Brenda couldn't find her voice to answer him. She wanted to tell him. She really did ...She just...couldn't. Nothing— nothing—would come out.

"Brenda?" Dylan hissed. "Is. She. Mine?" Still, nothing. "Brenda! I want a fucking answer! IS. SHE. MINE?" he yelled!

"Ye-yes," she gulped. "She ... she's yours."

Dylan closed his eyes, like he needed to hear what he already knew, "Why ...why the fuck would you do that? Don't you think that's something I had a right to know...something I'd want to know?" he was angry. He was very angry and Brenda swallowed hard as hey stared at one another.

"I…don't know." Brenda wasn't sure what she was saying at this point. She was scared, she was guilty and she was on the verge of an emotional break down.

"You didn't know?" he shouted. "I fucking loved you! How could you not know?"

"No…I mean…I tried. I called you!" Brenda yelled back.

"You never called me…don't lie to me…not now Brenda…please not now." he begged. His hands in his hair as he paced a couple times. "You didn't call me." he said quietly. He sounded so broken. Brenda took a step towards him. His head snapped up and his glare made her stop in her tracks. "You didn't call me." he said again staring into her eyes.

"I did…I left you 3 messages. You never returned any of them. I begged you to call me back. Begged Dylan." Brenda insisted, tears flowing freeing down her pretty face.

Dylan sighed loudly and walked to the couch. He sat slowly, his elbows to his knees as he gripped his hair. "I never got any messages." he whispered.

Brenda slowly walked towards him, she left space between them but sat next to him. She wasn't prepared for the tearful eyes that snapped up and looked into hers.

"Who knows? Does she know? Does Olivia know…Olivia? he whispered. "You named her after my grandmother." Brenda was the only person in his life besides his mother that knew what his grandmother meant to him.

Brenda played with her hands in her lap, "Brandon…my parents know, Olivia doesn't know."

"My mother? Does Iris know?" Dylan begged for the truth with his eyes.

Brenda nodded, "Yes." she whispered.

Dylan got up again angrily and shook his head. He looked at the wall, away from her, "My own mother…Brandon…they never told me…4 fucking years." he said not believing this was happening. Betrayed by his own mother.

"I told them not too." Brenda said quietly and Dylan turned quickly towards her.

"Why?" his voice broke. He walked over sitting next to her. He took her hand, "Why?" his voice was waning and it broke Brenda's heart. His thumb caressing her hand softly as he stared down at it, "You didn't want me to be apart of it? You didn't think I'd want her? I loved you. I would have been there, I would have supported you. I missed everything. I would never have left London." he whispered.

Brenda took her hand away from him roughly, "Exactly." she said her heart breaking in a million pieces. Dylan looked at her, hurt evident on his face. "You wanted to leave. You didn't want me. I tried to call you…but I didn't hear back." Brenda shrugged as a tear fell down her cheek. "I knew you had the right to know but when I didn't hear back from you. I gave up trying. You had made your decision…I didn't want our families to tell you making you come back when you didn't want to be there to begin with, you didn't return my calls." There it was there, she said it. "You didn't love me anymore."

Dylan looked at her sadly, broken and hurt. "That's not true…God damn it Brenda…you know thats not true. I asked you to come with me."

"London was my home!" Brenda yelled, "My work!"

Dylan shook his head, "Work…work work…Brenda thats all you fucking did was work. Tour after tour…award after award…work…work work!" he yelled back. "London was your home not mine. I didn't leave because I didn't love you anymore…I left because I was losing you to work…and I couldn't stand it." his voice got quiet.

"But you left." Brenda got up angrily. "You made love to me and you left!" she yelled hurt.

"Did you know…the day I left did you know you were pregnant?" Dylan stared at her. He spoke calmly but his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He wanted to hate her. He wanted to be angry at her, the longer he looked at her the more calm he was. It was frustrating.

Brenda crossed her arms and shook her head, "I found out I was pregnant, 3 weeks after you left. It was the night…your last night she was conceived. I tried over the next month to get in touch with you, leaving messages. Even a few months into my pregnancy I tried back but some woman named Gina answered and told me I had the wrong number. I guessed you had changed it."

Dylan's head shot up. "What?" he hissed.

"You changed your number?" Brenda repeated herself.

"Gina? Some woman named Gina told you that?"

Brenda nodded, "Maybe someone who had gotten the number after you?"

"Fucking bitch." Dylan breathed.

Brenda flinched, "Im sorry Dylan." she begged, she knew he would be angry, she knew there was a possibility he would hate her but name calling, she didn't know.

"No…No." Dylan breathed, "Not you Bren…Gina Kincaid was the woman I started seeing when I came back here. Leaving London fucked me up. I got here and I started using drugs, drinking again. You probably called and I was too messed up to even notice. Then Gina…fucking Gina told you that. I didn't change my number. I only got a new number last year when I came back from Belize." Dylan breathed out. "God this is fucked." Dylan leaned back into the couch. He rested his head looking at the ceiling. "I missed so much. I missed everything." Brenda came and sat down. Her hand rested on his thigh. His hand came over hers as he leaned up and looked at her. "I missed you being pregnant, I missed the mood swings." he chuckled sadly, "And the late night food cravings. Watching you grow, her grow inside you." Tears fell from both their eyes. As his hand lay on her flat belly. "I missed her being born…I didn't get to be there for anything."

"I know." Brenda took his hand from her belly and intertwined her fingers with his. "I'm sorry." she whispered heartfelt. He looked at her. His free hand coming to her face. His thumb gently caressing her cheek. Brenda's eyes closed as she leaned into it.

"Can I see her?" Brenda's eyes opened to look at him.

"She's asleep." she said quietly, wiping her tears as his hand dropped from her face.

"I won't wake her…just can I see her, just look in on her?" he breathed.

She nodded and got up. Dylan followed her down the hallway. She turned the knob quietly and opened the door. There she lay peaceful, cradling Mr. Pony. Brenda and Dylan took a few steps in the room. Dylan looked down at her. She was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. She was perfect. His head tilted as a small smile spread across his face. She was his. He has a daughter...he was a father.

He reached down and grasped her hand tightly. "She's amazing." he whispered as he stared.

Brenda nodded in the night lighted room, "Yeah…she is."

"Can I meet her again…as her dad?" Dylan whispered softly. Tears in his hushed voice.

Brenda looked at him, "Is that what you want?"

"So much." he breathed. "I want to know her Bren…I want to know my daughter."

Brenda looked at the light of her life sleeping, "Okay." she breathed. "I want that too Dylan."

The two stood there staring at the little angel for a few minutes before they backed out of her room. Dylan leaned against the wall in the hallway and exhaled. Brenda leaned on the opposite looking at him, his eyes were closed almost like he was taking everything in. His eyes looked into hers.

"She is so beautiful." he whispered, "She looks just like you." he said in awe. A small smile spreading across his face.

She blushed and chuckled, "Funny because every time I look at her I see you."

The stood frozen across from each other, intense eyes looking into one another. Silent deafening yet oddly comfortable. Dylan moved first. He pushed off the wall, his hands coming to her face as he pressed his lips against hers. She hit the wall with a thump from the quick moment. He opened his mouth around hers as she kissed back. His tongue slowly entering hers, dancing gently with hers. Brenda's hand went to his hair as they kissed each other roughly. His arms around her waist, picking her up effortlessly and moving her toward an open bedroom, he only assumed was hers. Brenda pulled back, knowing exactly where this was going. She closed her eyes and breathed into his mouth.

"Dylan...we can't." she whispered. Fighting the urge to have him. She wanted him, she always wanted him. She felt her feet hit the ground as his eyes looked intensely into hers. He nodded knowing she was right. This wasn't the time. He was caught up in the emotions of it all, finding out about Olivia, seeing her again.

"I'm sorry." Dylan breathed back.

He backed away rom her and looked down. "I...coul...I'm sorry." he repeated.

She smiled a sad smile at him, "It's ok...I know. It's a lot." she admitted. The walked silently into the living room and Dylan knew he should go. it was too much being here, in her apartment, with his little angel sleeping down the hall, with the woman he never got over, her mother, standing right in front of him. he reached for her front door and turned.

"Can I see her tomorrow?" he asked hopeful. He had missed so much, he didn't want to miss another minute.

She smiled at him and nodded, "I'm at the theater until 3...I put Olivia in a dance camp until preschool starts in September, we should both be here at 3:30? Does that work?"

"Perfect." he answered, "Night Bren." he looked into her eyes.

"Night Dylan." Dylan left closing the door gently behind him.

Dylan walked to his car. He smiled to himself as he climbed in. He took a deep breath and started his car. Tomorrow he would start to get to know his daughter. The thought alone was exciting and the most terrifying thing that Dylan ever imagined.

 _Soooooo what did you think? Fucking Gina is a bad girl in this story. Tell me everything. Let me know if I should keep going. Gonna go work on my other fics now! You know me…never done with them LOL I just keep adding them to my list. How sweet is Dylan, was it_ _realistic, did everything flow okay? I know you kelly haters out there are probably not liking this Dylan/Kelly friendship. But lets face it guys, in the later seasons, they were close friends. They are the only ones in the gang, not married, no family...well until now and they just became closer. Kelly won't have a big part in this story...maybe some BK teases but this will be about BD. I hope you liked it. REVIEW!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

 _Late Night Calls_

Dylan stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed. He hadn't slept at all. Things kept running through his mind over and over. There was the fact that Gina had been a jealous asshole and either deleted his messages or Dylan was too messed up to even notice. He honestly didn't think it was the latter because even in Dylan's drug haze he would have noticed if Brenda had called him. He had regretted leaving the moment he stepped off of the plane and coming back to Beverly Hills brought back memories he had buried so deep that when they boiled over it was way too much to handle. He needed her that first year back more than any time in his life and he would have known if she had called him. He thought about what the messages might have said. Brenda begging him to call her back and it literally killed him.

Then there was the fact that his own mother had known he and Brenda had a daughter. Over the years after Dylan left Brenda in London, him and Iris hadn't been that close. He could count the amount of times they spoke on one hand. It wasn't that surprising Brenda would have kept in touch with her. They had always been close had a special bond, but especially in the three years they lived together. Brenda and Dylan even visited her and spent 2 weeks in Hawaii after Erica had lived with them. Loving each other, spending time with his family and enjoying the beaches of Maui. Plus if she was trying to get a hold of him, maybe she even went to Iris to see if she happened to know where he was. It still didn't take away the sting in his heart that he felt to know his own mother hadn't told him in the few times they had spoken that he was a father.

Brandon…that wasn't as strong of a hit as his mom. Brandon and Dylan had kept in touch, mostly by email. They both travelled so much for a while it was a regular occurrence if their itinerary would cross paths. They would meet up for a day maybe 2 and catch up. There were even a few times Dylan had asked Brandon how Brenda was…he would reply simply like _she's good…she's in Scotland…or Germany…or France_. He would tell him what play she was working on, where her tour was heading…mostly about work. At the time Dylan would take those answers to heart and know Brenda was still working her ass off and probably not missing him as much as he was missing her. But no matter how close Dylan and Brandon were even through email, he was still Brenda's brother and if Brenda had told Brandon to keep Olivia a secret he would have. He couldn't be angry at his old friend for being loyal to his sister. After everything that had happened over the years and what Brenda had been through, she sure as hell deserved some loyalty from someone.

Lastly and most importantly he had a daughter. A perfect little human made out of a desperate need for closeness and love. Dylan remembered his last night in London like it was yesterday. Brenda had gotten home late from rehearsal. They had cuddled on the couch watching late night television in silence. They hadn't seen each other in 2 months because of Brenda's tour and she had brought it to his attention she was planning on leaving again. Dylan held her, drawing lazy circles on her abdomen. Little did he know at that time that that abdomen would house and nurture his daughter after that night. Dylan closed his eyes breathing out deeply the memories coming back to him like a rush.

 _Dylan thought about their argument a few hours prior. Brenda was leaving again for Amsterdam in a couple weeks, a 3 month tour for a play called Ashes to Ashes. He had just gotten her back it seemed and now she was leaving again. As the credits ran on their television Brenda looked up at Dylan with apologetic eyes. He looked at her lovingly, he pushed back her hair from her pretty face and leaned down taking his lips to hers and shared a long passionate kiss. They had locked up and shut down the apartment for the night and as Brenda got ready for bed. Dylan rushed her. Kissing her so hard they lost their breath. Dylan wanted to worship her, he had his mouth on every part of her body. Kissing, licking sucking showing adoration for each and every part of her. They didn't speak at all during any of the foreplay and when Dylan pushed into her without a barrier, which he had only done with her, he felt overwhelmed in exultation. Even though he hadn't made his mind up to leave at that point, he knew this was goodbye. He made love to her slowly, kissing her, fingers intertwined in passion and love. The warmth and intimacy bringing tears to both their eyes. Their bodies slick with sweat as the warm hue of morning started filling their bedroom. They came together strongly, lips attached, breaths in sync, moans and grunts of steamed passion igniting love and ecstasy in their small London flat. Still no words were spoken. As Dylan lay his head on her chest catching his breath, he felt her fingers gliding through his hair effortlessly like she had done so many times before. This was intimacy, this was true love, this was real and intense and he had to leave. Watching her leave…week after week was too much. This feeling was too much._

Dylan's eyes opened. The feeling of loss overwhelmed him. Thinking back to that night they made Olivia and the morning after. Dylan remembers Brenda sobbing uncontrollably, he remembers begging her to come with him. Back home, back to the states. He remembers the empty feeling he had as he carried his bag down their hallway away from her, away from true love, away from the happiest he had ever been in his whole entire life. He was a coward.

He reached for his cell phone. Seeing he had 3 missed calls from Kelly and some from Steve. Kelly must have told him what was happening. Steve being the only father of the group, he wasn't surprised he was calling to check on him. Kelly had been his closest friend besides the guys and even he didn't want to talk to her. He opened up his text messages reading her texts.

 _Did you talk to Bren?_

 _Did you see Olivia?_

 _Dylan where are you?_

 _Are you okay?_

 _Damn it Dylan…answer me_

 _if you are drinking I will kick the shit out of you!_

 _Dylan?_

 _You are scaring me_

 _You're going to be an amazing dad_

Tears filled Dylan's eyes and he closed them, letting them free and run down the sides of his temple. Would he? Dylan was the definition of a bachelor now days. He slept with loads of women, never getting close to anyone, never feeling love with anyone, never wanting too. Always brunette, so in the dark his fucked up mind could picture her, could pretend she was there. It never felt the same but he tried. He had tried to replace her. It never worked. Instead of calling Kelly, it was so late after all, the only person he wanted to talk to was her. He clicked Bren on his phone and typed.

 _Thank you_

He was surprised as she replied in an instant, she was lying awake too.

 _For what?_

 _For moving back here_

 _lol your welcome? hahaha_

 _Can't sleep?_

 _Not at all_

 _I did love you…you know that right?_

Dylan stared at the screen. She had to know right?

 _Brenda?_ he wrote… _I did more than anyone or anything in this entire world._

 _It's nice to know_ , she wrote back.

Dylan hesitated, not sure if he should ask what he wanted to know. This was Brenda, years might have gone on but she was his best friend. Maybe he had replaced that part with Kelly for the last 5 years but it wasn't the same. He sighed and typed.

 _Did you love me?_

 _Yes,_ she wrote simply. He smiled.

 _more than anyone or anything in this entire world_ , she added.

Dylan's smile widened.

 _You have to tell me everything that I missed_

 _I will_

Dylan stared at the screen, he thought about what to say because he didn't want to get off with her. The phone rang in his hand as the screen flashed Bren. He brought it to his ear quickly.

"Hello."

"Hi"

Silence

"I'm sorry to call…I hate texting." she chuckled breaking the ice.

"Me too." he chuckled too, it was true.

"What do you want to know?" she asked

"Everything." he chuckled again.

She giggled, "She was born on August 16th at 6 in the evening. I was hungrier than shit and the nurses wouldn't let me eat." Dylan smiled tears filling his eyes.

"Who was with you? Were you alone?" He asked nervously. He knew the answer was probably going to piss him off but he didn't want her to be alone. He had hoped she wasn't.

She sat silent for a second, "It's ok please I want to know." Dylan reassured her.

"Brandon was there….and Iris." Dylan closed his eyes. He tried to picture it. He knew Brenda well enough to know she was letting that information sit for a second, then she continued.

"I labored for 9 hours. Pushed for 2. Your mother held one leg and my brother the other, which was kind of weird but comforting. I cried the whole time." she chuckled sadly. "Before I got my epidural, I begged Iris and Brandon to call you. To tell you I needed you. To come home." Dylan sobbed out as he listened, it was difficult to hear what he had missed. "They knew I was just in pain and hysterical, that I had been so adamant that I didn't want them to bother you but I begged them."

"I wish they had." Dylan's voice broke.

"Me too." she admitted. "She weighted 6 lbs…3 oz was 19 inches long." there was happiness in her voice now, "She was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen. I stared at her and cried for hours. I thought about you, she looked just like you. It was a rough first month. My parents came out from Hong Kong a week after she was born. My father didn't even look at me but my mom helped me a lot. Iris and Erica came back out the following week. Stayed at our apartment." Dylan interrupted her.

"You're father? Was he angry she was mine?" Dylan swallowed hard, he knew he was never Jim's favorite person.

"No." she breathed, "He was angry with me because I refused to call you again. He had told me the birth of a child is the most remarkable experience you'll ever have. That I was selfish to keep this from you."

"Wow." Dylan breathed, after a moment he chuckled, "Now that I would have wanted to see just as much." Brenda laughed. It was a glorious sound that made Dylan smile.

"I'm so sorry Dylan." she cried, "I did try but I know in my gut I didn't try hard enough. I just didn't want you back because you felt like you had too. After time Brandon told me you and Kelly were going back and forth and that sealed my regret up for good. I know I was selfish but…you have to understand at least a little…do you?" her voice filled with tears and apology.

Dylan sniffed, "I do."

Silence filled the phone.

"Can I ask you a question?" she breathed into the phone.

"Anything." Dylan answered.

"When we made love…did you know you were going to leave?"

"No." Dylan answered truthfully. "It felt like goodbye but no I hadn't decided anything, I really thought maybe you'd come with me." Silence again.

"I wish I would have gone with you." she admitted. Dylan's heart ached at what could have been.

"I wish I would have stayed."

"I guess we can't go back now and do everything all over again but you have time…now to get to know her. To love her. She is so smart Dylan." Dylan smiled thinking about her little face.

"Are we going to tell her tomorrow? Has she ever asked? Did you date…did she meet other men? I know I don't have the right to ask about your personal relationships but I just want to know…" Dylan wasn't sure he wanted to know. He wasn't sure he wanted to know that some other man was loving, or caring for his daughter.

"No…I dated a little here and there but nothing serious. I was busy taking care of a baby." Brenda chuckled, "Meeting people wasn't so easy when you're a single mom. She only asked recently about why she didn't have a dad."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her her father was a brilliant man. Caring and sweet. I told her the truth, you were traveling the world, helping people in need."

"It wasn't a good enough excuse." Dylan uttered more to himself. Yes he was proud of the work he had done around the world, but nothing was more important than her. If he had known he would have been wherever she was.

"Dylan?"

"Yeah?"

"I know it isn't that appropriate of me to ask, but you did…Um…are you seeing anyone? A girlfriend or…Kelly?" Brenda got quiet and closed her eyes. Now that Dylan was in her and Olivia's life she tried to tell herself she had a reason to ask. Not that Kelly was a bad person, she would be safe and cared for with her…that was more for personal reasons.

Dylan chuckled, "No. Kelly and I are good friends. We talk and see each other often but that's all."

A whispered "Oh." was all Brenda said.

"Kelly and I haven't been in a romantic relationship in 3 years Brenda, are you worried about that?"

"Uh…no of course not…it isn't my business."

"But it is…you want to know who is going to be around Olivia, it's perfectly acceptable to ask."

"I guess." she replied. She yawned loudly at that point and Dylan smiled.

"Get some sleep beautiful, we'll continue our chat tomorrow. I'll see you at 3:30."

"Ok…see you then."

"Baby?" Dylan couldn't help it, it just came out.

"Yeah." if Brenda was bothered by the sweet sentiment pet name she didn't show it.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

Brenda chuckled, "She'll love you…she already loves you. She wouldn't stop talking about her new friend Dylan all god damn day. I wanted to poke my ears out."

Dylan chuckled, "Well the feeling is pretty mutual. I couldn't stop thinking about her since I saw her."

"How did you find out? Did you finally put the math together in your head?" Brenda asked interested.

"I had a feeling, when I saw her. The whole running into you was overwhelming but her eyes…she has my eyes."

"She does."

"That must have been hard for you. Seeing them everyday, not knowing where I was."

"It was…but also comforting at the same time." Silence.

"Kelly and I actually looked you up tonight online…Wika something…it had her listed as your child. When I saw her middle name, I knew she was mine."

Brenda laughed, " Shit." she whispered, "Here I was trying to keep this from you and there it was on the internet the whole god damn time."

Dylan laughed, "I don't even go online much. I did notice that I'm still listed as your significant other."

"Yeah…it's updated by the fans, I guess they are a little slow when it comes to that."

"I don't mind." Dylan says honestly and Brenda blushes thankful he can't see it. "Get some sleep. Thanks for your talking to me. I really missed this…I really missed you."

"I always missed you."

"See you tomorrow."

"Okay…night Dylan."

"Night." he answered and heard Brenda hang up, "I love you." he whispered knowing she wasn't on the line. Dylan closed his eyes and snapped his phone shut. He opened up his phone, seeing it was 4am now. He texted Brenda one last time.

 _Thank you_ , he didn't say for what because it was for everything. Loving him, taking care of his daughter when he wasn't there, Letting him in again to get to know her.

The last thing Dylan saw before he closed his eyes was, _No…Thank you._

Dylan's eyes opened to pounding on his front door. He stretched and grabbed his watch from the bed side table seeing it was after 11. _Alright alright…hang on_ , he thought as he grabbed his robe. He swung it around him and padded lazily to the front door. He opened it annoyed by the pounding, to see Kelly glaring at him and Steve by her side.

"What the hell?" Kelly shouted, she was pissed.

Dylan smirked finding her tapping her foot on his porch and standing with her hand on her hip hilarious. He moved to the side allowing them access to his living room. He wiped the sleep from his eye and fastened his robe covering his boxers and chest.

"Well…Dylan…what the hell?"

"We've been calling you and texting man…Kel was really worried about you."

"I'm fine." he said walking towards his kitchen to hit the coffee button. Kelly and Steve looked at each other then followed him. Silence filled the area as Steve and Kelly stared at him. Dylan poured himself a cup before the pot was even done brewing and took a sip. He turned to two concerned eyes staring at him.

"What? You want coffee?" he said innocently.

Kelly's nostrils flared as took a deep breath, "Where have you been? I thought something happened to you. We see the wikipedia page and you storm out. You don't return my calls, Steve's calls, my texts…I thought you were drunk laying in a ditch somewhere!" Kelly fumed. Steve shook his head at Kelly's dramatics and set his hand on her shoulder.

"We just…want to make sure you are okay." Steve spoke calmly.

"I'm fine…I went to Bren's…we talked. I'm okay…more than okay oddly."

"You have a daughter? She told you she was yours?" Steve smiled. He knew first hand how incredible having a daughter was.

Dylan nodded, "Yeah…I have a daughter. She's amazing."

Steve's smile widened and he moved towards Dylan. He hugged him tightly as Dylan smiled. He held on to his coffee so it wouldn't spill and hugged him back with the opposite arm. He patted his back twice. "Thanks man."

"How's Brenda?" Kelly's eyes widened in sadness. Dylan smirked at her knowing she didn't have to say it out loud that she missed her. Her eyes were hopeful like maybe…just maybe they could start over.

"She's good…she lives not too far from here. On Hamilton…a nice apartment. She's done well for herself."

"She still look hot?" Steve lifted his eyebrows and smiled.

Dylan smirked, he shrugged, "She looks good."

"Oh come on Dylan…Brenda got better looking with age, tell me…was she hot?" Steve smile widened and Kelly rolled her eyes playfully. She smiled though finding it funny.

Dylan cleared his throat with a smirk, "She looked the same. She looked like Bren…she…looked beautiful." He said respectfully.

Steve's mouth opened wide and he raised his arms up, "She was hot…she was smoking hot I can tell. What happened? Why did she keep it from you bro?" Steve turned serious. He wasn't judging Brenda. He knew whatever the reason was her reason, but Dylan was his friend.

Dylan sighed, "You reminded me I have to call Gina." he set down his coffee mug and crossed his arms.

"Gina? Why on earth would you call her?" Hate filled Kelly's voice. She didn't like Gina, she never liked Gina.

Dylan looked between them. "Brenda tried to call me, a few times, leaving messages trying to tell me she was pregnant. I never got any of them. Then Brenda told me some girl named Gina answered one time and told her she had the wrong number."

"What a bitch." Kelly whispered.

"That's low." Steve shook his head, "She didn't know Brenda…why would she do that?"

Dylan shrugged, "That's what I intend to find out. I can't do anything about it now but…I need to know why? If she knew? If she just was jealous and reacting. I just have to know." Dylan said quietly and Steve and Kelly stood silent.

"Do you get to see her? Olivia?" Kelly smiled.

Dylan's serious expression turned light, he smiled widely and nodded, "Today…I'm going over there at 3:30. We're going to tell her together I'm her dad, spend the day together, get to know her. I'm terrified."

Kelly wiped a stray tear and moved towards Dylan. She hugged him tightly, "I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to meet her. It will be fine Dylan. It will be amazing. You're going to be wonderful dad."

Dylan rubbed Kelly's back fondly and nodded, "Thanks Kel." they separated.

"Do you think…Brenda…would want to see us? I mean not today but after things settle? I can have the gang over. I'd love to catch up. Meet Olivia. Do you think she'd want that, do you think she would let us back in?" Steve asked hopeful. He had missed the Walsh's.

Dylan smiled, "I'm sure she would but I'll ask her."

"You still love her…don't you?" Steve asked serious. Dylan's eyes uncomfortably looked back and forth between them. He hadn't talked about Brenda to anyone but they knew. Somehow, they knew how much she still effected him.

Dylan looked down, exhaling, "I do." he admitted. "Fuck...so much."

"Things will work out." Kelly said out loud, "You're a family. It has too." She gave him a smile.

Dylan shrugged, "I don't know…I guess time will tell."

Dylan spent the next 20 minutes telling Steve and Kelly about Olivia. What she looked like and his fears were about the day. He was lucky to have such great friends.

Dylan spend most of the day thinking and trying not to watch the clock. At 3 o'clock he decided to swing by the pit, pick up a peach pie, which he knew Brenda used to love. He also stopped at a small boutique in town and bought Olivia a gift. A little purple sundress with daisies on it and a matching one piece bathing suit with ruffles. He walked in not having a clue what to get. The helpful sales women took pity on him and picked it out and told him the size once he let her know her age. The feeling of warmth when she approached him and he told her he was there to get something for his daughter. He also had flowers, a gorgeous bouquet of Brenda's favorite flowers and a small bouquet of pink roses and daisies for Olivia.

Dylan smiled as he drove over to Brenda's, thinking about the things he could teach her, he could read her books and teach her how to swim and surf. He didn't know much about little girls but man he was kind of excited to learn.

 _Alright next chapter WHOOP. You know me when a new idea comes. It flows so I don't stop it. Next chapter same day, Brenda is anxiously waiting for Dylan's arrival. Hope you like it!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4_

 _Instant Love and A Proposition_

Brenda had gotten home early from rehearsal fortunately. She had spent the added hour straightening up and anxiously overthinking. Her heart dropped into her stomach as she heard a knock on her front door. She knew it wasn't Dylan, it was too early but her nerves were in overdrive. She answered the door with a smile.

"Hey baby girl…how was dance camp?" Brenda knelt down and received a tight hug from Olivia.

"It was good!" she said enthusiastically. "We got to wear tutu's and I was a ballerina! And then…then we got to twirl…and tap…mom I did somersaults!"

"You did? How fun!" Olivia ran to her room. Brenda smiled as she stood facing Claire with a smile.

"She didn't want to leave." Claire joked. She handed her her dance bag and smiled, "What time is Dylan coming?" Her smile turned into a smirk as she asked.

Brenda exhaled, "In about 20. God I'm so nervous." she whispered and shook her hands out.

"It will be fine. She talked about him a lot this morning."

Brenda nodded, "Yeah…he made quite an impression on her. It will be fine. Just you know…it's scary. I know Dylan wants this. I see it in his eyes. He is happy…just…"

"What Bren?" Claire looks at her concerned.

Brenda swallows hard, "I just don't want her to get hurt. Dylan is great…he's an amazing guy just…he doesn't have the best track record when it comes to sticking around, especially if things get hard or too intense. I know they both deserve the chance to get to know each other it's just…that small part of my heart that he always breaks…worries."

Claire gives her a sad smile. "Maybe he'll surprise you?"

"I know…like I said I'm sure it will be okay."

"It will." Claire reaches out and gently touches Brenda's arm in support. "Let me know how it goes." She smiles kindly, "Bye." Brenda closes the door and takes a deep breath.

She straightens the already neatly stacked magazines on her coffee table to keep busy. She goes into the bathroom, fiddles with her hair for the 5th time. She see's Olivia eying her as she goes and changes again but the little girl doesn't mention anything so she doesn't address it. As Brenda leans in and reapplies some lipstick…there is a knock on the front door. She exhales looking at herself in the mirror. _Here goes nothing._

She opens the front door with a smile to find Dylan standing nervously with his arms full. She chuckles at him.

"You need a hand?" she jokes and receives a sweet smile from him.

He hands her the pie and her bouquet, "Thanks." he chuckles, "I didn't want to come empty handed."

Brenda looks into the pie box, "Oh you didn't…is this from the Pit?"

"Where else?" he smiles widely.

"Oh my god…I haven't had a chance yet to go see Nat…but this is so yummy thanks. Come in come in." She buries her nose in the bouquet taking in the sweet aroma allowing him to come in. "These are beautiful…you didn't have to."

He shrugs shyly, "I know how much you love Tulips and Lillie's so I had the lady make it up of your favorites for you."

"Thank you." she gave him a sexy smirk. He was too sweet for words. She looks at the gift wrapped box in his arms and the pink roses and smiles.

"Dylan…you don't have to bring her presents."

"Oh come on Bren…I haven't had any time to spoil her…let me."

She nods and mouths ok and smiles at him again.

She closes the front door and calls out, "Olivia…look who's here."

Olivia runs out from her room, "Dylan! You came over!" she runs to him.

"I did sweetie." He smiles brightly at her standing in front of him in her dance attire, pink with a tutu skirt. "These are for you." he hands her the small bouquet.

Olivia's mouth opens surprised, "For me? I get flowers and a present!" she eyes the box in his hand. "Mommy…Dylan brought me a present!"

Brenda chuckles and nods. She watches the exchange and her heart aches from the cuteness of it all.

Dylan kneels to her level and hands her the present. She takes it from him excited. "Can I open it now?" she looks into his eyes and her excitement brings tears to his eyes.

Brenda and Dylan move to the couch. Brenda sets down the pie box and flowers on the coffee table as both of them watch Olivia tear open the wrapping like a kid on Christmas. She moves the tissue paper aside and sequels. She lifts the sundress up with a smile.

"I love purple!" She rests it against her body and sways from side to side, "Look mommy."

"Oh Olivia…it's so pretty!" Brenda laughs and looks at Dylan. He is staring at their daughter in awe.

"Look mommy…a babing suit." she says holds it up. Dylan and Brenda laugh at the way she says bathing as they watch her put it against her.

"Do you know how to swim?" Dylan asks with a smile, "I have a friend who has a swimming pool."

Olivia frowns, "Mommy says I can only swim with my floaties unless a grown up is in the pool with me."

"That's okay." he says reassuring her. "I'm a grown up." he smiles at her. "I;m sure your mommy might think otherwise sometimes." Dylan jokes and Brenda giggles. The joke flies over Olivia's head.

She rushes him, throwing her small arms around his neck. He breaths out returning the hug tightly as he closes his eyes. He moves his nose into her hair, memorizing her smell. Tears brim his eyes quickly.

"Thank you!" she whispers, "I love it!" she leans away from him with a sparkle in her eye. She grins at him. "I'm gonna put on my new dress." Dylan holds back from crying as he nods and watches her run with her present into her room.

"You okay?" Dylan looks towards Brenda. She is watching him. He shakes his head speechless and wipes his tear quickly. "I know." she smiles at him.

"She is just so…amazing." he exhales trying to shake the overwhelming love he has already.

Brenda chuckles, "She has her moments…believe me but yes…she is pretty amazing." Brenda looks towards Olivia's room before looking at a recovering Dylan.

"How do you want to do this? You want to tell her now?" Brenda asks nervously.

Dylan nods, "Yes." he whispers. "God…I'm nervous." he admits.

Brenda smiles and takes his hand. "It will be great." At that moment Olivia barrels into the living room. She spins around so her sundress flairs up.

"How do I look?" she grins.

"Perfect." Dylan utters and only stares. He can't believe she is his. He feels lucky, elated and overwhelmed with emotion. She is perfection.

"Why don't you come on over here Olivia…Dylan and I have something to talk to you about?"

She runs over, Brenda lifts her and sets her on the coffee table to face them.

Brenda swallows hard and smiles at her daughter, "Remember when I told you…your daddy…was traveling and helping people that need it?"

She nods once and smiles. She looks at Dylan, "My daddy helps people." she says proudly.

Dylan looks down, exhaling. Brenda continues, "Well…Dylan sweetie…is your daddy."

Her eyes widen, "Dylan is my daddy!" she practically yells with excitement. Brenda laughs and nods.

"That's the best thing ever!" She jumps into his arms. He grunts her knee missing his family jewels by an inch.

"Easy there sweetie." Dylan laughs catching her, one hand covering his junk. She hugs him tightly, he hugs her back tightly.

She leans out with a smile, "Want to see my room?" And just like that she is over it. Dylan chuckles and nods. Kids are pretty resilient.

"I would love to see your room."

"YES!" she jumps off of his lap, "Come on Daddy." she out reaches her hand grabbing his trying to pull him of the couch. Dylan looks at Brenda. His free hand going to his heart. _Daddy_ …He is done for. Brenda giggles and shakes her head. She watches Olivia pull Dylan by his hand to her room.

She gets up and grabs both bouquets bringing them to the kitchen to put them in water.

"And this is my bed…and these are my toys…and these are my books…" She shows him every corner of her bedroom.

Dylan oo's and ah's at all the right places. "Well Olivia you have a pretty cool room. Maybe sometime your mommy will let you come over and see my house."

"You have a house?" Dylan nods, "You won't live here? With me and mommy?"

"Um." As if it was meant to be Brenda walks in holding a small vase with Olivia's flowers. She sets it on top of her dresser.

"Amanda…she is my old friend, her mommy and daddy live in the same house. And…And she got to be in their wedding! And she wore a pretty dress and got to carry flowers…and you and mommy could do it too?" She spoke in one breath. "Then you can live here with us and I can see you everyday!"

Dylan looks at Brenda, not sure what to say besides he wished. Brenda chuckled _,_ "Dylan has a house honey but he'll come and visit as much as he can."

"That's right." Dylan agrees with a smile, Olivia doesn't say much and goes back to playing with her toy. Dylan looks towards Brenda again. His expression a little sad. She is old enough to question their living arrangements plus himself and Brenda hadn't sat down to discuss anything. He wants to see her everyday.

"Dylan…you wanna stay for dinner…I'm about to get started on the lasagna?" Brenda smiles a sad smile. She is bothered by the topic too but tries to hide it.

"Yeah Daddy stay! Mommy makes a yummy lasagna." She looks towards her father hopeful.

"I know she does, I remember." he looks at Brenda lovingly, "I'd like that." She nods once and heads into the kitchen to leave them to hang out.

Dylan reads 3 stories and lets her talk him into playing tea party. Dylan sits uncomfortably on the smallest chair imaginable and tries to pretend he knows what he is doing. As Olivia dresses him up Brenda stops at the doorway.

She busts out laughing at the sight, there Dylan is sitting at Olivia's kid table, with a bright pink boa around his neck, a tiara on his head sipping pretend tea. Dylan eyes her with a smirk.

"Oh my lord…Olivia what have you done to your daddy? Wait this is too good." Brenda leaves grabbing her phone and snaps 3 pictures of Dylan in a position she never thought possible.

"Thanks Bren." he nods embarrassed

"This is good, you look adorable!" She looks at him. They stare at each other. Silence filling the bedroom. A ache to be close to one another.

"Mommy…dinner ready? I hungry." she announces and Brenda glances away from Dylan to look at her.

"Yes…go on wash up." Olivia runs out of her room to do just that.

Dylan takes off the boa and tiara and rises to his feet. He takes a few steps towards Brenda with a smirk, "She asks a lot of questions."

Brenda nods, "I know." she exhales.

"Maybe after dinner, after she is in bed we can talk. Figure some stuff out?"

She nods a yes knowing they do need to do just that. He leans in and gently kisses her cheek. He stays close to her, kissing her again on the side of her neck, lingering longer than appropriate. "She is so smart. Talks so well for a 3 almost 4 year old. You've done an amazing job." he leans out and gives her a small smile.

Brenda swallows hard from the closeness, "Thank you."

The three of them head to the kitchen and sit at the dining table. Conversation flows easily, Olivia tells her dad about her new dance camp. About living in London and missing her friends. Dylan listens intently like it's the most important thing in the world. He steals looks at Brenda. Taking in how good of a mom she is, how much more mature she seems. How pretty she is, how sexy she still is. Feelings overwhelm him and make him tingly when he catches her looks as well.

Pretty soon it's bed time and after putting on her pajamas and brushing her teeth, Dylan has the honor of putting his daughter to bed for the first time. They cuddle together on her twin bed, as he reads her a story.

"Daddy?" she interrupts him.

"Yes sweetie." she looks up at him with her big brown eyes. "You're not going to leave are you?"

"What do you mean?" he asks confused.

"Like…you don't need to work? Leave us to go help people again? Cause now that I know you…I'd miss you." she says so honest his heart bursts.

He smiles down at her, "No…I'm not going anywhere…I promise. I'd miss you to much too."

"Good, I think mommy would miss you too." she smiles and cuddles deeper into his chest. He pushes back her hair gently and places a gentle kiss on her forehead and begins reading again where he left off.

Brenda leans against the hallway wall listening. She takes a deep breath. She exhales slowly and closes her eyes. She hopes for Olivia's sake and maybe her own too…he will keep that promise.

Brenda pours herself a glass of wine as Dylan emerges into the kitchen. She looks up at him and gives him a smile. "She is out like a light." he says as he walks in and takes a seat at the counter.

Brenda lifts the wine bottle, "You want some?" she offers.

He shakes his head, "I don't drink anymore."

Brenda's eyes widened and a proud smile spreads across her face, "Really?"

"Nope…been sober for 2 1/2 years."

"Good for you. That's awesome." She looks at her wine nervously. Dylan did drink in London, especially at the the end. It was a constant back and forth battle for the last year they were together. Now she feels badly drinking in front of him.

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "I don't mind if you do." he answers knowing what she is thinking.

She nods accepting and takes a much needed sip for the upcoming conversation. "So I was thinking…and you can tell me if you have other ideas but I figure every other weekend? I mean…if you don't care I'd like to see your house. Um just so I know where she'll be. Um…maybe when school starts in a month and half we can spit it differently."

"Bren…" he sighs disappointed, "I don't want just to see her every other weekend. I've missed so much…I don't want to miss anything else."

Brenda sighed, "Well…what did you have in mind then?"

"Do you rent this apartment?"

Brenda looks at him oddly, "Yeah…it's only month to month and temporary. It was set up by the theater, I think in a couple months we'll have to move which works because I was planning to look for something a little bigger anyway, we definitely need a yard."

"Move in with me." he says seriously.

Brenda stares at him, "Wh…What?"

"Give up the lease and you and Olivia move in with me."

Brenda laughs, "We can't live with you."

"Why not?" he shrugs innocently.

"I don't think you've thought this through Dylan."

"Yes I have…I've been thinking about it since the moment I got here. You'll have to move out eventually and I want to see Olivia everyday. I could help with picking her up and drop offs. When you're working late at the theater. I want to be an everyday presence in her life."

"Me and you? Living together? I don't know Dylan."

"Look…my house is a 3000 sq. foot craftsman literally 1 block from here. She is still in district for school, it's 3 bedrooms, you guys can have your own space, it has a big yard full of grass and room for her play. Brenda I haven't paid an ounce of child support or anything to you in almost 4 years. It would make me feel better to know I can participate in supporting you anyway I can."

Brenda stares at him, he seems to have really thought this out "But…wouldn't we be cramping your style? I mean you're a young single guy…you wouldn't want us around. I mean how would you even bring a girl home?" Brenda swallows hard, damn that bothered her to think about. "I have to be honest with you Dylan…I don't know if I can see that, I mean…I don't think Olivia should see that."

Dylan gets up and moves towards her hearing the slip up, he places his hands gently on her upper arms, "I don't care about other women Bren. Right now…I just want to spend time with Olivia and take care of you."

Brenda takes a deep breath, "Won't it be weird? With our past?"

"Why would it? We lived together for 3 years in London. We're friends, how different would it be?"

Brenda smiles and laughs, "Um…way different Dylan. We aren't a couple."

"Brenda…I've loved you for 12 years…I care about you. You are always going to be important to me. Now you are the mother of my child. Let me be do this for you guys."

Brenda exhaled, "So…we'd be roommates?" she said out loud, she barely believed it herself.

Dylan wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her flush against him, "Well…I mean…if you want to be more than roommates I could live with that too."

"Dylan." she whined, "I'm serious."

Dylan looked into her eyes, "I'm dead serious."

She rolled her eyes playfully, "You're ridiculous." she jokes as she moves from his embrace.

"Brenda let's just try? It's a hell of a lot easier than schedules and being separated, you know you'd have to be away from her every other weekend too." the thought makes Brenda's heart ache, "We tell Olivia that this apartment is only temporary and you'll be staying with me. If in a couple months if you aren't happy with the arrangement you carry on looking for a bigger place like originally planned? What do you have to lose?"

Brenda is silent…contemplating. "Come one Bren…please…I want to be a part of her everyday life. I want to be a part of your everyday life too." he says honestly.

Brenda softened and takes deep breath, "I don't know…can I think about it?"

Dylan nods, "Of course."

"Okay." Brenda agrees and takes another sip of wine. Living with Dylan, with the feelings she still has. She isn't sure about this idea.

Brenda and Dylan talk a little bit about the upcoming weeks schedule. Brenda and Olivia both are going to Dylan's tomorrow, to check out the house. Plus if Brenda decides to not go with the living situation, she wants to know where he lives anyway. She doubts it's child proofed and ready for a almost 4 year old. Dylan also asks her as promised about a get together at Steve's. She accepts happily and that she would love to catch up with her old friends once things are a little settled with the possible living situation and have Olivia meet Maddie who is actually only a year younger than her. Pretty soon they are hugging good bye and Brenda is actually contemplating living with Dylan.

One side of her thinks its a great idea. Claire had talked about going back to school and it would leave room for that with child care. Dylan would get to know the everyday life of his daughter like he always should have. Sharing a place would help with bills and costs since Brenda did take a pay cut to work at this theater and not tour as much as she used too. The the other side is yelling at her that this is crazy. Brenda has always been hung up on Dylan and living with him, seeing him everyday, isn't going to be easy on her.

She groans out not having a clue what to do. She reaches for her phone. She looks at the picture of Dylan at the tea party and laughs. She swipes to the next one. It's Olivia kissing Dylan on the cheek as she sits on his lap. She pulls up Brandon's contact info, attaches both pictures and texts.

 _So…this happened today_

A full 30 seconds doesn't even pass before he is calling her back.

She laughs, "Hello."

"Did I tell you this was going to happen when you moved back to LA?" he said with humor in his voice.

"You did. You were right."

"Wait…what…I didn't quite hear that?" Brandon says playfully.

Brenda laughs again, "I said you were right…geez you don't have to rub it in."

"So…how did it happen? I have to admit Bren…it's really about time. Dylan deserves to know he has a daughter."

"I know." she takes a deep breath, exhaling loudly, "We ran into each other on Doheny."

Brandon laughs, "Did he see her and just know?"

Brenda chuckles, "No…Kelly introduced him to Wikipedia. He said he had a feeling but that sealed it seeing her middle name on my page."

"How's Kelly doing?" Brenda rolls her eyes. He was hopeless.

"I have no idea. I haven't ran in to her at all, supposedly they are still close, just friends, whatever that means, he said they hadn't been in a relationship for 3 years."

Brandon and Brenda are quiet, "Dylan isn't one to lie, if he says they're just friends I'm sure they are just friends."

"And why would I care if they were more than just friends Brandon?" she says pretending she's offended.

Brandon laughs, "Because you are hopelessly in love with him and now he's back in your life. He is in Olivia's life now whether you like it or not."

Brenda sighs, "He's really good with her. She's crazy about him."

"That's good right?"

"What if it gets too much for him and he bails?"

"He wont."

"But what if…"

Brandon cuts her off, "Brenda…you know Dylan as well as I do…if not better. He won't leave his daughter. It's not his style no matter how much of an emotional no show he's been in the past. He wouldn't want his kid growing up the way he did."

"Yeah…I guess your right." Brenda sighs.

"Man…I'm liking this being right all the time thing."

"He wants us to move in with him." Brenda blurts out.

Silence fills the phone line. "Brandon?" Brenda asks, almost thinking she lost connection with him.

"I don't know if that's the best idea Bren." Brandon says honestly.

"You don't?" she asks quietly.

"Bren." Brandon whispers, "What's going on out there? Are you and Dylan back together?"

"No…not at all…he just doesn't want to do the every other weekend coparenting thing…and you know Brandon, I don't either. I can't stand the thought of being away from her. He wants to be a part of her everyday life…how can I take that away when I've already taken 4 years away from him?"

"You tried to call him Brenda." Brandon adds.

"Brandon you know god damn well I could have done more. I knew he was in LA…there were ways to get ahold of him and you know it."

Brandon exhales into the phone, "I just hope you know what you are doing Bren…this isn't about the never ending on and off love story of Dylan and Brenda…you have a child together."

"I know. I know. I love him Brandon…I don't want to take this away from him. He doesn't deserve it. I owe him the time he missed."

"I understand completely…I know how you feel about him and I know how he feels about you. Look you're a grown up. You can make your own decisions, just tell me you will really think about this…because I know you guys…I give it a week…two tops, living under the same roof before you two are sharing a bedroom."

"It's not like that…we were friends before…we can keep it platonic."

Brandon laughs, "Oh Brenda…I love you but yeah right…I hate to break this to you…you and Dylan were never just friends."

Silence fills the phone again.

"Kiss my niece for me. Tell her I miss her and I will send her a surprise for her birthday. I love you Bren…I'm always here, I support whatever decision you make."

"I know Brandon…I love you too. I'll call you in a few days. Night Bran."

"Night Bren."

Brenda took a deep breath thinking. She looks at her phone. She sends a text to Dylan.

 _Are you awake?_

 _Yep…having trouble turning my brain off. I miss Olivia already. It was a good day._

 _:) It was_

 _Something on your mind?_

 _Just thinking about your proposition_

Brenda's phone rang in her hand. She chuckles seeing it is Dylan.

"Hey." she answered.

"Hey…what are you so afraid of?

"Honestly? You."

"Me?" Dylan laughed, "Why? You know it might be great."

"That's what I am afraid of."

"Brenda…what are you not telling me?"

Brenda sighed, "Look Dylan…I have to think about what's best for Olivia."

"And how is having her father and mother with her everyday not what's best for her? Bren..we get along, we make a good team…there is nothing to be afraid of."

"You know our track record Dylan…it will only be a matter of time before something happens…hell it almost happened last night."

"What's so bad about that?" Dylan admitted out loud.

Brenda sighed.

"Look Bren…you've always been my family, now we have a family of our own. What ever is going to happen is going to happen, regardless of where you live. You know how I feel about you, your special to me, you always will be. I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want to do and if I have to promise to be a good boy I will. I don't have an agenda Bren. This is about making up the time I lost with Olivia. I'll be good…I promise. If you want platonic, I can do platonic."

Brenda laughs a little, "What if I don't know if I can be platonic?" She closed her eyes. She couldn't believe she just said that.

Dylan chuckles, "Then I'll be over in 5 minutes."

"Dylan…come on I'm being serious."

"Trust me…so am I."

Brenda rolls her eyes with a smirk, same old Dylan, "This is what I'm talking about. Do you remember when you first came to London? How long did you stay with me before we were sleeping together?"

"Don't blame me...its chemistry." Brenda sighs loudly, "Look I get your point. Just come over tomorrow…check out the house and just think about it."

"I will…I am…I haven't been able to think about anything else to be honest."

"It will be fine…time will tell…remember?"

"I remember."

"Get some sleep…I'll see you tomorrow after dance camp."

"K…night."

"Night sexy." he said seductively.

"Dylan!"

Dylan chuckled, "I'm kidding…geez…good night woman that I don't look at sexually what so ever." he joked.

"Well…now that's just mean."

Dylan laughs loudly. He smiles to himself like an idiot, "Night Bren."

"Night Dylan."

Brenda hits off on her phone and breathes out. What the hell was she going to do?

 _So what do you guys think? She should move in? I can't wait to see what you all think about it. Honestly I'm overwhelmed at the positive response I've gotten from this story and I appreciate it so much. Seriously you guys are the BEST! Dylan and Brenda fans are the SHIT! Next up…Brenda checks out Dylan's house and makes a decision. And of course some drama. The gang will meet Olivia soon too, if its not in the next chapter it will be the following. Brenda will be visiting Casa Walsh after god knows how long. Should be fun! Review and hugs from me to you!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

 _The Truth Will Set You Free_

Brenda looks at the gorgeous Craftsman as she holds Olivia's hand tightly. It was honestly a beautiful home. It was grey in color, with white trim. It had remarkable brick work that led up the long pathway up to the house. The pillars done in an exquisite rock that matched the grey respectably. The porch wide and inviting that looked out onto a quiet clean street. Brenda was in love with it and she hadn't even gone inside yet.

"Mommy…this house is so big." she remarks as she seems to be in awe as much as her mother.

Brenda smiles down at her and nods. Poor Olivia being only three years old hasn't seen houses like this. In London Brenda's flat was small. Even though it was in a posh London west end neighborhood, european standards of living are smaller, more quaint…especially compared to Beverly Hills. Then they moved here to LA. Brenda's apartment was modern and new. A very nice place to live but it was still a 2 bedroom apartment.

Brenda walked up the long pathway and helped Olivia up the steps. She looked around on the porch and smiled. It wasn't decorated but did have a cute swing hanging on the left side. She envisioned having coffee out there. Watching Olivia play in the fenced front yard. She exhaled knowing she was getting ahead of her self as she rang the door bell.

Dylan answered with a sweet smile. He looked comfortable and at home in blue jeans, his trademark white t-shirt and bare feet.

"Well look…it's my favorite girls. Come on in." He held open the big beautiful wooden door as Brenda and Olivia moved through the entry.

"Hi daddy…your house is huge!" she says cutely. Dylan chuckles and picks her up. They greet sweetly with a hug and he holds her as he looks at Brenda.

"Wow…Dylan…this house is incredible. How long have you lived here?" She eyed the foyer. The house was bright and white with big dark wood accents throughout. It was the perfect combination of masculine, with the dark wood accents but the white and light look made it feel bright and feminine. Dylan smiled at her checking the place out.

"I bought this place 2 years ago. When I first moved back, I lived in the hotel for a couple of years but I missed the privacy a house provides. I saw this place one day and it reminded me of my bungalow I had back in the day. It was built in the 1900's. It needed a lot of work but I tried to keep the old wood work as much as possible. Do you like it?" He stared into her eyes, holding Olivia in his arms.

Brenda smiled and shook her head, "It's incredible."

He smiled happily, "Well let me give you a tour." He set Olivia down and began taking them through the house. The main living area was large and homey, a big screen TV the focal point. The built in bookshelf's filled with books. The floorpan was open, and it took you to the kitchen and dining area.

"The people that lived here before, redid the kitchen…that was the only remodel they invested in." Brenda looked around. The kitchen was a dream. Granite and new stainless appliances. She tried to reign in her excitement of the possibility of cooking in it. "I don't use it at all." he laughed, "I'm sure you remember, I'm still a nightmare in the kitchen." Dylan joked and Brenda laughed, knowing he was being honest. The man could burn a piece of toast.

Olivia stayed quiet and followed politely through taking in all the room there was. She was overwhelmed as she clung closely to Brenda. Dylan pointed out a few things, the walk in pantry, the closets and came to the stair case. They climbed silently and down the hallway. Dylan opened the first bedroom door on the right.

"This…will be your room." he smiled down at the little girl who's eyes lit up. The room was empty, painted a light warm grey with white crown molding. "You can decorate it however you want to Olivia." she ran into the room. It had 3 section windows that over looked the yard and a window seat. She jumped up on it and looked out.

"Cool." she said whispered. Jumping down off the bench, running around happily. Brenda smirked and looked at Dylan. He was watching her already.

"Is it okay?" her eyes widened. Was he kidding?

"Okay? Dylan…it's amazing." he nodded proudly. He looked at Olivia running around and grabbed Brenda's hand.

"She'll be okay for a second." there was nothing in the room for her to get into. He pulled her to the next bedroom, across the hall a little from Olivia's.

He pushed open the door a little. "This could be your room. If you decide to move in…I'll have all this moved out.." This bedroom was set up as an office but pretty scarce in terms of furniture and personality. The room had high ceilings that went up in an arch, dark wood planks lined the ceiling. It was a gorgeous huge room. Twice the size of her master at the apartment.

"Dylan…I don't want to take your home office away." Brenda walked in looking around.

"It's honestly no trouble, I barely use it." he said honestly.

She walked over seeing an empty walk in closet with built in shoe shelfs that almost made her moan. It had a private bathroom, with a big classy claw foot tub. In the corner was a built in wide shower. All modern tile and redone. The double vanity with two sinks finished off the bathroom. She exhaled with a groan.

"Damn." she whispered, walking over and looking at the tub.

Dylan chuckled, "I kind of thought that you would like that part."

Brenda laughed, her eyes bright as she nodded. She loved a nice bath, they didn't have one in their apartment here.

She sighed, "You aren't making this decision easy on me." he walked over to her slowly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"That's what I was kind of hoping for. I have a small confession to make." Brenda eyed him, her heart racing from his proximity. "When I bought this house…I thought of you. It was silly really we hadn't been in touch but…I guess while living in London, I thought about what our first house may look like if we ever decided to go down that road. And as soon as I saw this place…I pictured you in it."

Brenda swallowed hard. he knew her well because she could picture it too.

"Come on." he reached for her hand again and down the hallway. There was a hall bathroom she looked in quickly at and then Dylan opened the double doors to the master, his bedroom. Brenda gasped as she stepped into it. It was massive. High ceilings, with the same wood planks. Dylan had a modern bed with end tables, a mirrored dresser and a taller one against a near by wall. The room had potential to be an amazing master suite. There was a fireplace and enough room for a whole sitting area. He had a small book self that was home to more books. Brenda walked in shaking her head.

"Oh my god Dylan…this is incredible." Olivia appeared in the doorway.

"No way!" she ran and jumped on his bed. She jumped up and down excitedly, "Daddy…your room is the bestest!" Dylan laughed as Brenda scolded her.

"Get down Olivia." she tried to grab her but Dylan stopped her.

"It's fine." he went to her and allowed Olivia to jump from the bed into his arms. "You like it here princess?"

"I love it!" She hugged him tightly.

"I want you to feel at home here. When you come to visit or stay with me…my home is your home…okay?"

"Okay." she said simply. She kissed his face and Dylan laughed. He set her down and let her roam. He looked at Brenda.

"What do you think?" he asked hopeful. He loved this house…and he had to admit…his daughter and Brenda…looked pretty fucking perfect in it.

She smiled and shook her head again. "You know what I'm thinking." she walked over and peaked into his bathroom. A big Jacuzzi tub, two person shower, another double vanity with his and her sinks. She took a deep breath. "If…we move in here…I'm gonna have to borrow that." she pointed at tub with a laugh.

Dylan chuckled and nodded, "Anytime." he pictured her in it. Maybe him in it with her. He shook his head to get the visuals of a naked bathing Brenda out of his mind. "Alright…I have one more thing to show you. I think it will be your favorite part." he smiled at Olivia. "Follow me."

They all descended the stairs and went to the back portion of the house. He opened the double french doors to the back yard. They walked onto the back deck. The property was huge. They could build another house back there. The deck was homey and had a over hang for shade. Dylan had a patio set off to the side with a fire pit. A picnic looking farmhouse table on the other. A shiny barbecue against the railing of the deck. Olivia squealed.

"Wow." she hopped down the steps and ran around. Man she had energy. "What's this daddy?" she yelled from the yard. She stood in front of a shed, that looked like a tiny house. Painted the same grey color with white trim as the house.

"That's a shed, it's empty and I'm thinking maybe with the help of your mommy…we can make it into a pretty awesome playhouse." he smiled warmly as she squealed again and jumped up and down. She reached for the door and went inside to investigate. The shed was finished and empty as she checked it out.

Dylan led Brenda over to the patio couch, Olivia in perfect view as she ran around the back yard enjoying the space. He rested his hand gently on her leg. She looked over at him. She had been so quiet unless addressed since she got here. Dylan wanted to know where her mind was wandering.

"So?" he smirked at him. He could tell by her face she loved the house. He also could tell by her expression she was torn.

"I don't even know what to say." she admitted looking into her lap.

Dylan reached up, moving a piece of her hair behind her ear intimately. "You love it don't you?"

She breathed out and looked at him, "I love it so much." he nodded knowing she did. It was a nice home. He fell in love with it the moment he saw it.

"Its a great place to raise a family. I'm kind of surprised it doesn't have more of a bachelor pad feel." she chuckled to break the ice a little.

Dylan watched Olivia making sure she was keeping out of trouble before turning his attention back to Brenda. "You know me…I'm not the man cave type. iI's been my home for the last couple of years. I tried to make it as comfortable as possible. Could use a female touch though." He looked deeply into her eyes.

She nodded and took a deep breath. She looked towards Olivia having he time of her life. She smiled. "Well…I know she'll be happy here." she shook her head as she saw her spinning around and round having the most fun she had seen her have since moving back here.

"Can you? Would you be happy here?" Dylan's intense stare made Brenda swallow hard.

"Yes." she whispered getting caught up in the moment. Dylan reached out, his hand gripping her neck gently. He pulled her closer to him. His forehead resting against hers. They closed their eyes. Practically breathing into each others mouths.

"Come on Bren…let's try it. Move in with me." he whispered against her lips.

Brenda sat silent, taking in the house, the possibility of living there and Dylan's mouth practically against hers. Finally after a full minute she exhaled.

"Okay." she leaned away from him. He kept his hand comfortably around the back of her neck as he looked into her eyes. "Okay Dylan…we'll move in."

A wide smile spread across his face. "Thank you." he whispered and took her into his arms. He hugged her tightly. Brenda moved her nose down his neck, he smelled so good. Like Dylan, masculine, sexy and familiar. Her hand came up as she ran it down the back of his head, the other arm holding on to him tightly.

"We'll try." she stated simply.

He nodded against her head, before pulling away. "The moment this isn't working for you…you tell me and we'll figure something else out."

She nodded accepting that and smiled. "I'm gonna tell Olivia." he said excitedly. Dylan got up at that point and ran down the steps to his daughter. He chased her around playfully as she laughed out loud. Brenda stared at them, happy tears filling her eyes. She watched how he grabbed her and kissed her over and over on her little face. He sat down on the lawn, taking her into his lap and talking quietly with her. Brenda laughed when she saw Olivia's face light up and look towards her excitedly after he told her about the plan. He lifted her, setting her on his shoulders as he bounced her up and down in, walking in a circle as they cheered happily. Brenda wasn't sure if this was the best decision for her but…seeing them together like that made it pretty clear that it was the right decision for them. Olivia was only 3 years old…4 in 2 weeks. When she looked back at her childhood, she would remember Dylan being a part of it from the beginning. She would have no memory probably of a life without her dad and that alone…made her hesitancy regarding living with Dylan…seem like a dumb reason to say no. Being a mother makes you realize right away that it isn't about you anymore. It's about your child. Brenda's selfish and stubborn ways allowed 4 years to go by without letting Dylan know he was a father. She knew the only way to make up for that selfishness was to do the right thing.

The next week went by in a blur. Dylan spent everyday at Brenda's apartment helping out with Olivia while Brenda spent some time at the theater. She lucked out because the theater was getting remodeled, and that pushed opening night out by a month. She had time now to spend with Olivia and Dylan and get her apartment packed up. Luckily Brenda hadn't lived there long so there was a lot of the stuff she didn't need daily or didn't fit in the apartment was still boxed up in storage, which made life easy. Dylan enjoyed a new normal. Picking up Olivia from camp. Taking her to the park, spending time with her at both his own place and Brenda's. He had formed a comfortable camaraderie with Claire since they had shared a lot of the care for Olivia too. Claire was excited to have the time to go back to school and she even had started dating a little. She was loving living in this new city, starting over and she adored Dylan who was every bit as amazing as Brenda always said he was.

Soon it was moving day and Brenda, paid movers, Dylan and Claire were moving Brenda and Olivia's life into Dylan's. After all the furniture had been moved and the last of the boxes had been set to clutter Dylan's house, the reality of everything set in.

Claire had offered to take Olivia for the night so it gave Dylan and Brenda some time to get the house in order. Dylan's place was furnished but it was sparse for the amount of space he had. It looked like there was plenty of room to put everything Brenda had in there, even allowing Dylan use of her living room furniture in that massive bedroom of his. Everything seemed to match well like it was meant to happen. Like they were meant to merge their life this way.

Dylan moved his office and made the formal dining room more of a study, since they had the dining set in off the kitchen anyway and a formal dining room wasn't really needed for the 3 of them. Brenda had finished hanging all of Olivia's cloths in her closet. Setting up her room and filling her clothes up in the dressers. She then moved to her room and got busy trying to set up her new room. Dylan leaned at her doorway and watched her. His presence felt, Brenda looked at him.

"I ordered pizza…hope that's okay. You have to be pretty hungry since we've been working all day." he smiled a warm affectionate smile at her.

She smiled back, "That sounds perfect…I'm starving."

"Need any help?" he offered as he moved into her new bedroom.

"No…I think I'm about done." Brenda looked around nodding and proud she had gotten so much work done.

"It looks great." He commented looking around.

"Is it weird having 2 more people here?" She smiled. "I know you like your privacy."

"Weirdly…no…it feels perfect actually. Like it was always kind of suppose to be this way." he admits and smiles.

The doorbell breaks there longing intense looks and he excuses himself to get the pizza. Brenda hops down the stairs and sees he set up dinner in the living room instead of the kitchen area. Brenda had a lot of kitchen stuff and at the moment it cluttered the counters and kitchen table. That worked out perfectly too considering Dylan had one pan to his name. As they enjoy their pizza and chatted, there was that doorbell again. Dylan made a face and shrugged, he wasn't expecting anyone.

Dylan excuses himself to answer it and as he opens it, Michelle jumps into his arms and kisses him hungrily. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms tightly around his neck.

Dylan pulls his face from hers forcibly, "What are you doing here? his tone is not welcoming, annoyed.

"I missed you baby. You haven't called me in weeks." Dylan lowers her to her feet, stepping away from him putting some distance between them.

"It's not a good time." he looks towards the living room, he can't see Brenda and he's thankful that means she can't see him.

"Oh come on Dylan…I'm aching for you." she steps towards him and kisses his lips again, he doesn't kiss back. "Aren't you aching for me?" she lowers her hand and cups his bulge in her hand over his jeans and squeezes.

Dylan is frozen, not believing this is actually happening…right now with Brenda in the next room. He had ended things months ago with Michelle but she still came around periodically, they'd sleep together and then let weeks go by without seeing each other. Michelle kissed him roughly, groping him through his jeans as Brenda walked into the foyer.

"Who was that Dy…" Brenda froze. Dylan breaking the kiss quickly and pushing Michelle away from him.

"Uh…sorry…I'm sorry." she shook her head and mumbled and went back into the living room.

"Who's that?" Michelle said with a kink of her head, pissed off, setting her hand on her hip.

"You need to leave…Now. "Dylan's tone serious and stern, "Don't come over here again." Dylan said severely. He gently pushes her back onto the porch and closes the door in her face her mouth hangs open. He closes his eyes and breathes out, making his way into the living room.

Brenda is busy cleaning up, she holds a trash bag from the kitchen and angrily throw things into it. Her half eaten pizza which in no way she wants anymore included.

"Bren." He breathes, knowing she is angry.

"No…no it's fine Dylan, I'll just go on to my room and you can hang out with your friend." she wouldn't look at him in the eyes as she forcibly continues to throw away trash.

"Brenda."

She finally look at him, tears threatening to roll down her face, she holds them back, "I'll finish cleaning this up, it might be the last time you get to get laid for awhile." she says openly, her voice hard and angry…smart ass.

Dylan shakes his head, "I didn't invite her over here Bren…she just showed up." he explained. "I was looking forward to our first night hanging out with you."

"Whatever you say." she goes back to cleaning not believing him.

"Brenda…she's just an old…she's not even an old girlfriend…she's just someone…"

"You fuck…I get it." she looks at him, her stare hard.

Dylan swallows hard and looks regretfully into her eyes. "Bren." he whispers, "Please let me explain."

Brenda chuckles forcibly, "Explain? You don't have to explain anything to me. Me and you are history, we're are roommates…you're single, you can sleep with whoever you want. Luckily Olivia wasn't here and…you'll just have to tell your girlfriends…" her voice got caught in her throat. "You'll just have to stay at their place." tears spill over and she turns quickly heading into the kitchen. He hears her footsteps take the stairs quickly and her bedroom door closing echoes in the silent house.

"Fuck." he breathed out, his fingers moving through his hair frustrated. _Fucking Michelle._

Brenda sat on her bed and finally let the tears go, she wasn't sure why she was letting that girl upset her so much. It wasn't her business. Who Dylan slept with or dated wasn't her concern. As long as it didn't directly effect her daughter, she shouldn't care. She wiped at her face quickly as a knock sounded out.

"Brenda?" Dylan begged, "Please…can I come in?"

"It's fine Dylan." she called out.

He opened the door, "Please can I explain." he looked at her. Really looked at her as she tried to hide how upset she was. He saw her tears clearly though and his heart broke with guilt.

"This was a bad idea." she said out loud looking at her wall. "Moving in here was a mistake." It was only the first night and already this was happening.

Dylan breathed out disappointed, coming into her bedroom sitting next to her. "That wont happen again. Michelle won't happen again…I promise."

Brenda looked at him and gave him a sad smile, "It should happen…you're young…you should be getting out there and meeting women."

"I don't want that. I want you…and I want Olivia. Brenda…" he looked at his feet and exhaled, "I'm sorry. It's been a shit 5 years since we've been apart." He wanted to be honest with her, he wanted her to know everything.

"I moved back here and I was a mess. I mean…the worst I've ever been. I lied to everyone I know. About you…about how I was doing…what I had been up too the past 3 years. Being without you was so hard."

Brenda finally looked at him. She listened intently. "I went and got the Porsche out and it was riddled with bullet holes still. My house…I sold…I couldn't even be there anymore. Everything that I ran away from when I went to London, came at me like an explosion. I started dating Gina. I hid the drugs from her, treated her like absolute garbage and still slept around behind her back. If she hid your messages from me…lied about me changing my number, I barely blame her because she had no reason to trust me. She was constantly jealous of Kelly and our friendship, which I stupidly always tried to make more. After a couple years, Kelly gave me a chance. She had turned me down at a reconciliation so many times I can't even tell you. We moved our relationship into a romantic one quickly and it lasted about a month. She realized my heart wasn't in it and hers wasn't either and decided we were better as friends."

"Dylan." Brenda breathed out, he didn't have to explain. He didn't have to tell her this stuff. "You don't have too…"

"Yes I do." he looked at her, "Because you and Olivia are the most important thing in my life and I can't allow myself to screw this up, not again. Not like I did in London. Not like I did in high school." He breathed out emotionally, "I should have never left you, it's my biggest regret to date and I've done a lot of regretful things."

Tears slid down Brenda's cheeks effortlessly, "Then why did you?"

"There was a part of me…that was so lost when Toni died I didn't know how to handle a loss of that magnitude. You took me in, and loved me even when I had married someone else. You gave me another chance. You brought me back to life. The years in London, with you were the happiest time in my life. I have never felt love or intimacy or even friendship and support like that before in my life. iI scared the shit out me." he whispered.

"I started drinking and acting like a dick, you threw yourself into work more because of it, I would get angry about you being gone all the time and drink more, you would tour more. It was a constant vicious cycle that neither of us knew how to handle and the truth was, we loved each other too god damn much to end it. I left because I couldn't live with hurting you anymore, you deserved better than me."

Dylan sat quiet for a second, "I have this bad habit…of hurting the people I love the most. I did it with my father when I was younger, my mother…so much she didn't tell me I had a kid. And whenever things got hard with you…I did something to jeopardize it. I can't do that anymore, I don't want to do that anymore. Because now…there is a little girl that I love more than anything. Who is counting on me. I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I loved her even thinking she could be some other guys daughter. I won't let her grow up like I did." Dylan reached his hand out taking Brenda's in his.

"I didn't know Michelle was coming here. I haven't seen her in weeks. She means nothing to me none of them do. I never let anyone in because you have my whole heart and I wouldn't allow myself to fall in love again, not even with Kelly. I threw myself into meaningless sex with women to forget about you but it never worked, I never even saw their faces. I went out with Kelly again because I was lonely. I got tired of the endless disconnect. She was familiar and someone I thought I loved at one time but not even that worked. Because when I'm inside someone, there is only one face I see. " Brenda looked at him, a tear falling from her eye. "I'm done with that now. I know I ruined your trust over and over but please believe me when I say that I'm not that coward of a kid anymore. I know you want platonic…you don't want me like that…I haven't earned it anyway. I just want this." he pointed between the two of them, "To be fixable Brenda because I love you. I do…I always have and having you girls here is important to me. I don't want to meet women…I don't want shitty replacement brunettes in my life when the only one Ive ever wanted is sitting right in front of me." Dylan's hand cups her cheek, "Let me be your friend. let me be your partner in raising Olivia. Please just give it a chance. Don't leave." He begged hoping she wasn't changing her mind. "Please don't let what happened tonight change your mind about this."

Brenda looked down overwhelmed by the words he said and exhales the breath she has been holding, "The girl bothered me more than she should have. My reservations about living here don't have to do with what's best for Olivia at all. I know what's best for her is here with both of us. It's about me and the past and present and the future all mixed in one. I'm done being selfish. I don't have to let you be my friend Dylan because you were always my friend, even when you didn't deserve it. I'm not moving out. I'm going to give this a chance…but for Olivia's sake, we have to keep this what it is. A friendship…a partnership. For now…that's where it stays…okay?"

Dylan nods and takes her into his arms. He holds her tightly. They lean away from each other. Dylan lightly pecks her on the lips. His hand lingering lovingly on her face. "Thank you." he breathes. "For giving me another chance. If you want only friendship from me that's exactly what you'll get. For now." he emphasizes. Brenda smiles and nods.

That first night in Dylan's house was an interesting one. They talked for a bit longer and then retired to their separate rooms. As both Dylan and Brenda lay in their respected beds, the pull to be near each other was almost to strong to take. The one thing that was clear in all of this mess was Brenda and Dylan still loved each other but for now…they would try their hardest to be just close friends.

 _So there was a little drama already? I promise it won't always be this serious. Dylan and Brenda needed a little talk, before they start playing house so to speak. How long do you think this is going to last? Will there be other girls that pop by? The meet up of the gang is next. It should be much more light hearted than the end of this was. Brenda and Dylan have a lot of work through, but I think with Dylan's truth and coming clean a little tonight...was needed for Brenda. Also don't be surprised if the not so single mother anymore, decides to have a little fun of her own. ;) Please hit review, would love to know what you guys are thinking._


	6. Chapter 6

_Quickly I wanted to add before you read this chapter. Maddie was born prematurely in November of 1999, at least by the episode date. Her and Olivia would only be 3 months apart. Oops. I know I mentioned in another chapter she was a year younger but hadn't thought much about when Janet became pregnant. She was pretty far along when she told Steve in the beginning of season 10. I'll fix it here, mentioning they are the same age but just wanted to give you guys a heads up on my date mess up. :) Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 6_

 _Reunion_

Dylan sips his coffee in the silence of his house. Olivia was at camp and Brenda was at rehearsal. A couple days had past since the Michelle incident and things had flowed back to a comfortable setting there at Casa McKay thankfully. Michelle was the only woman of Dylan's past that knew where he lived. She had been there once and after Dylan had her come back to his place, he knew it was a mistake. So much so he didn't allow her to be there for more than 5 minutes. He hadn't even slept with her there. She didn't belong in that house. At the time he had no idea where that feeling came from, he hadn't ran into Brenda yet. Now it was becoming obvious the only woman he wanted in his home like that was Brenda. This was her house, he thought of her when buying it. No one else belonged there. When Dylan christens his bed, shower or bath tub…he wants Brenda to be the only women that has ever been there. It was stupid really but this was his private sanctuary, he never wanted it to be tainted by meaningless faces.

He answered his cell at that moment on the 2nd ring seeing it was Kelly. He had been MIA for their weekly coffee date and had barely talked to her since Brenda and Olivia came into his life.

"Hey Kel." he answered nicely.

"Hey stranger, how's it going?"

"It's going well. Except fucking Michelle came by groping my dick the first night Brenda was here."

"Oh my god…how did she even know where you live?" Kelly was shocked, she was well aware Dylan never took women back to that house.

He groaned, "She has been here once. For like 5 minutes and she decides to waltz in here looking to hook up. It was so embarrassing. Brenda thinks I'm a man whore."

Kelly giggles, "She knows you're a man whore Dylan." she jokes.

He exhales and sits quiet.

"Dylan…I'm kidding. Come on Brenda isn't unreasonable, I'm sure she knows you had relations with other people in 5 years. I mean her herself has probably a few notches on her bed post too by now."

Dylan flinches at the comment, "Oh my god stop…she's a mother, I doubt she was sleeping around."

Kelly chuckles entertained by his tone, "Probably not but…I'm sure she wasn't celibate."

"Like you…you mean." Dylan joked playfully.

"Oh please…you know that's not true. But other than that having Olivia there? Is it amazing?" Kelly changes the subject. She didn't want to talk about the fact she hadn't had a real meaningful relationship in years. She didn't even count the month with Dylan special because he wasn't into it at all.

"She is something Kelly. I can't explain it. She is so much like Bren…it's hysterical. I could watch her all day."

Kelly smiled, "I knew you'd be like this. I seriously can't wait to meet her. You guys are still coming to Steve's later right? I'm gonna get Olivia something. Make her try to feel comfortable around all of us. What is she into?"

Dylan thought about it, "She loves books and clothes. She has a lot of princess stuff, lots of pink and purple. She is truly a girl." he laughs, "There isn't one bone in her body that's tom boy."

Kelly giggles and then silence fills the phone line. "I'm nervous to see Bren." she admits.

"Why? She knows we're close, she doesn't have a problem with you…with anyone in the gang. I think she is looking forward to tonight. Seeing everyone again."

"I know…I just…I feel like after Brandon and I spilt up. Then you coming back here. I just feel like I should have tried harder. Kept in touch. I shouldn't have let my break up with Brandon dictate our friendship. I mean here she is back, living in LA and I wasn't one of the people she let know. She has a daughter, a little girl none of us know. I guess when I was going to marry Brandon. I just always felt like Brenda would be like a sister to me. We would see each other at family holidays and if we both had children that they would grow up together."

"It's not too late Kel…I mean I know that better than anyone at the moment. I missed Brenda being pregnant and Olivia being a baby but when I'm with her, it's like all that doesn't matter. I'm learning it's never too late to make things right."

Kelly laughs, "She has you wrapped around her finger already."

Dylan chuckles, "She does. What time should we head over later?"

"Steve said 5."

"Alright thats perfect. Brenda said something about making an appetizer to bring, plus we invited Brenda's assistant too, Claire, she is sweet. I hope Steve doesn't mind. Bren and I thought she would enjoy meeting more people. She is new to this city and only knows a few people."

"I'm sure Steve wouldn't mind, the more the merrier. Donna is bringing something too, tell Bren whatever she decides to bring will be good."

"I will. See you later Kelly…thanks for checking in."

"No problem…you know…you sound happier than I think I have ever heard you since moving back here. I know things with Olivia are going well…what about with Brenda? Have you told her how you feel?"

Dylan took a deep breath, "The night that Michelle showed up, I came clean about the women. I also told her how I felt about her, how I always felt about her. She just wants friendship from me and I have to respect that."

"I'm sorry." Kelly said sincerely.

"It is what it is…but me and Brenda…have always been good friends."

Kelly laughed, "Yeah right…Dylan I love you…you know that but…you and Brenda have never been just friends."

Dylan chuckles, "I guess you're right."

"I'll see you later." Kelly says lightly.

"Later Kel." Dylan hangs up. He takes a deep breath, sipping his coffee again. He promised he would be just a friend. It seemed to be a lot easier for Brenda to keep things that way with him.

Dylan carried Olivia as Brenda held on to her hors d'oeuvre. She made these heavenly little bruschetta bites that simply melted in your mouth filled with garlic, tomatoes and capers. She learned the recipe from a friend in Italy, and it was always a hit. She wore casual attire in tight blue jeans and a cute off the shoulder peasant top and wedges. Her ran her hand quickly over her hair nervously.

"You look great…you know that right?" Dylan eyed her seeing her fidget.

"Mommy changed more times then if she is going to see you." Olivia said out loud. Brenda closed her eyes, her face blushing furiously.

Dylan smiled widely, "Oh really." he looked at Olivia silently thanking her for that information. Brenda smirked and shook her head.

"Well you tell mommy, she always looks beautiful to me." he leans in whispering to Olivia but made no real attempt to keep it from Brenda. Olivia giggles finding the exchange funny.

"I think mommy has a crush on you." she says unapologetic.

"Okay okay…ring the door bell already." Brenda says embarrassed.

Dylan can't help the smile he has as he rings the doorbell to Casa Walsh. "I have more than a crush on your mom sweetie." he says just as openly. Olivia giggles again, not understanding the seriousness in those words.

Brenda rolls her eyes with a smile.

Steve opens the front door with a smile. He is holding Maddie, a gorgeous little girl, wearing a white sundress and sandals. Her hair is dark brown, she is a perfect combination of Steve and Janet's nationalities and she smiles shyly seeing Olivia.

"Oh my…look at her." Brenda grins. "Oh Steve." she breaths out. They embrace tightly one armed. "I've missed you." Brenda breathes.

"Let me look at you." Steve leans out, "You look amazing Bren…I've missed you too."

Brenda smiles at Maddie, "Hey there sweetie…I'm Brenda…and this is Olivia. Olivia say hi to Maddie and one of mommy's oldest friends Steve."

The little girls smile at each other. "Oh my god guys…Brenda….Dylan she's beautiful." Steve smiles looking at the little girl.

"Thanks." Brenda and Dylan say at the same time. Dylan sets Olivia down as Steve sets down Maddie. They watch their exchange with a smile.

"Hi. How old are you?" Olivia asks with a smile.

"Free." she answers and smiles back.

"Me too!" Olivia gleams. "But my birfday is soon. Want to come to my party?"

Maddie jumps up and down, "Yes!"

Dylan, Steve and Brenda look at each other and laugh, "Looks like their best friends already." Steve chuckles. "Come on in…the gang is out back." They usher through the foyer and Steve looks at Brenda again. He goes in again giving her a real hug this time. "God its been way too long Bren…how's Brandon? Jim and Cindy? I've being trying to get a hold of Bran for weeks, seems we always miss each other." Steve eyes are kind and comforting.

Brenda nods, "They're good…everyone is well." Brenda looks around at her old house. "Man…this place doesn't change much. I really like what you've done with it."

Steve looks around, "Yeah…we tried to update it here and there but…its a great house. We've been really happy here. Come on…everyone is dying to see you."

The two girls run along first with giggles, They are really hitting it off. Brenda feels her nerves calm a little as she feels Dylan's hand on the small of her back. They follow Steve out into the yard.

Kelly and Donna eye Olivia and Maddie as they run by. Maddie on a mission to show her her swing set. Kelly and Donna look at each other and smile. Dylan leads Brenda over to them, and David leaves the grill for a second.

"Brenda!" Donna sequels and envelopes her tightly in a hug, "I can't believe your here. You look great…its like you haven't aged at all." She leans out with a smile.

"Oh please." Brenda chuckles not feeling that way. "Hey kelly." she looks at her and give her a genuine smile.

Kelly shakes her head, tears fill her eyes, "Bren." she whispers. They hug for a long time. "God I'm glad your back." Kelly whispers.

Brenda finds herself teary too. These two women were her best friends in the whole world. It was overwhelming seeing them again.

"Olivia." Dylan calls out. "Come meet some friends." Olivia smiles widely and jumps off of the swing. She runs to Dylan as he scoops her up. "This is Donna…and Kelly…this ladies is Olivia."

Kelly's fingers lay over her mouth. She looks just like Brenda…but Dylan was right…she has his eyes. Olivia hold out her hand making Donna laugh a little.

"Hi there Olivia. You are so pretty." she says kindly. Donna wipes the tear from her eye quickly and shakes her little hand.

She eyes kelly and smiles, "Hi Kelly."

Kelly turns into a pile a mush. "Hi Olivia…I love your dress."

"Thank you! My daddy bought it for me." Kelly smiles at Dylan. He smirks shyly and shrugs.

"Daddy…mommy…can I go play?" Olivia is done meeting people.

"Sure honey…be careful." he sets her down and she runs back to Maddie.

Brenda greets David with a hug, not believing how mature he looks. David might have been the baby face of the group back in the day but he was grown now. He was incredibly good looking.

"You want something to drink Bren?" Dylan asks nicely.

Kelly and Donna hold up their margarita glasses, "Steve's mucho marvelous mango margaritas." Kelly say with a laugh.

Brenda joins in, "He's still making those? God seems like another life ago."

"Does Steve still make them?" Donna jokes. "Don't let the fatherly exterior fool you…he's still Steve."

Kelly and Brenda laugh. "It's actually more reassuring than you'd think." Brenda jokes. The feeling of home overwhelms her. She sadly is mad at herself for not keeping in better touch with them. "I'll have one of those." Brenda points to their glasses.

"K." he gently kisses her on her cheek and walks towards the bar and where the guys are. Brenda watches him greet the guys with their trademark handshake and she instantly misses her brother. Her attention goes back to the girls. They are watching her watch Dylan. Knowing smiles on their faces.

"Let's sit." Donna breaks the awkward, "I feel like there are so many things to catch up on."

Brenda nods and takes a seat at the patio set that is front of her. Soon Dylan sets a margarita in front of her. She watches Dylan run over to Olivia. He gently pushes her on the swing. The girls, Steve and David watch him. Smiles on their faces.

"Awe. Dylan looks so happy Bren. He's good with her?" Donna asks sweetly. Her attention turning back to Brenda.

Brenda nods, "Yeah…they are quite the pair. Sometimes I think she might like him better than me. Figures huh…I carry her for 9 months and give birth to her, but she is proving to be a daddy's girl. I guess I can relate. At least until I started dating." Brenda joked, she was a daddy's girl, even after the drama with Dylan and her father. Still kind of is. She always cared entirely too much about his opinion.

"She is absolutely adorable Bren. Being a mom suits you." Kelly smiles at her before taking a sip.

"Thanks Kel…it's pretty amazing. What about you two? You want kids?" she takes a sip as well enjoying the female conversation, "Congratulations on you and David's wedding Donna. It must have been amazingly romantic, with your guys past. Like a fairytale. Sorry I didn't come, I had a 9 month old as you can see."

Donna nods understanding, "I know now. It would have been amazing having you there but I get it. Traveling internationally would have been hard with an infant."

Brenda nods, "Yeah…plus…that would have been drama…I show up with a baby…Dylan would have shit his pants, talk about a wedding crasher." Brenda laughs.

The girls join in, but stay quiet. Silence fills their pow wow. "I know what you guys must think of me." Brenda looks down, "Not telling Dylan."

"We don't think anything bad about you Bren." Donna says honestly. "You had your reasons, I would never judge you. I'm just glad we get to see you…meet her. It's hard to imagine you being a mom and us not being a part of your life." Donna says sadly.

"Besides…Gina is a god damn bitch and next time I see her, I'm going to tell her off. It really is her fault." Kelly chimes in.

"Hey…Kel…be nice huh…she is my sister. I know she has issues but we don't know the full story."

"Gina…is your sister?" Brenda's eyes widened. Kelly and Donna laugh.

"Oh Bren…you have no idea."

Donna continues to fill her in about Gina and her father, aunt and mother. Janet joins the girls introducing herself and instantly clicks with Brenda. Dylan looks at the girls catching up. They seem to be moving towards how they always were. Janet a welcomed addition.

"How are things coming along with Brenda? She all moved in?" David asks before sipping his beer.

He only shrugs. "Yeah she is all moved in."

"God Dylan…look at those two." Steve watches Maddie and Olivia run around having a blast. "When's her birthday?"

"August 16th." David and Steve look at him.

"That's next weekend. Man…that's crazy they are only a few months apart. I see plenty of play dates in our future. Man we can have park days…or take the girls to the beach…"

Dylan laughs at his enthusiasm. Steve has been the only father in the group for a while. Its obvious he is excited he has someone else that can join him.

"Well…now Im left out." jokes David.

"Well get on that brother…you and Donna have been married for 3 years. What are you waiting for? Were not getting any younger."

David blushes, "We've talked about it. It's pretty fun trying." Steve high fives David.

Dylan looks down sadly. "You and Janet every talk about having another one?" he asks curiously.

Steve nods, "Yeah…Maddie was such a pleasant surprise that we moved towards parenthood so quickly. But now that Maddie is out of diapers and starting preschool in the fall…we've talked about it. We aren't trying but we aren't being careful either so we'll see."

Dylan looks at Brenda. He wonders if Brenda has ever thought about more kids.

David and Steve look at each other. "You never answered the question how things are going with Brenda?"

Dylan shrugs, "She knows how I feel about her. She wants to be friends…so I guess we'll see."

"Sorry man…we both know how you feel about her, and having a kid together. I can only assume from experience, the feelings only grew stronger." Steve says as he rest his hand on his shoulder.

"You and David going to have kids?" Brenda smiles at Donna.

She blushes, "We're trying…it will happen when its suppose to." Brenda looks at Kelly.

Janet gets up, "I'm going to refill the dip, you girls want a refill?" she eyes their empty glasses.

"Yeah sure." they all agree.

"Here Janet…let me help you." Donna gets up and follows Janet into the house.

"What about you Kel? Are you seeing anyone?"

Kelly breathes out, "Ugh…dating is awful." she laughs and Brenda joins in.

"I know." she agrees.

"I was seeing someone but he wasn't the one I guess." Kelly shrugs sadly. She leans in, "I haven't had a serious boyfriend since Matt and that was over 5 years ago." she admits.

Brenda nods, "You went out with Dylan." she regrets the words as soon as they leave her mouth, "I'm sorry Kelly…I don't know why I brought that up."

kelly laughs, "Its okay. Uh Brenda…me and Dylan were not serious. That lasted all of a month and it was awful."

"What happened?" Okay fine so Brenda was trying to get her side of the story, sue her.

Kelly laughs again, "Dylan was lonely and lost. I guess so was I…did he tell you why we broke it off?" Kelly asks curiously.

Brenda shrugs, "Just that your hearts weren't into it and you were better as friends."

Kelly nods, "Well that's true but he left out a huge reason."

"Whats that?" Brenda eyed her, guilty she was even interested in hearing it.

Kelly got up and moved next her, she spoke quietly, "Brenda…he was…is still…in love with you, that was one of the only times he opened up to me about you. I didn't even have the right hair color." Kelly laughs lightly.

Brenda looked at her oddly, "What do you mean?"

Kelly looked at her, "Dylan is one of my best friends. For being a man of mystery, he can also be transparent. Every girl he saw…was brunette…petite…and resembled you to some extent. He didn't even keep them around long enough for us to meet them." Kelly smirked. "Except Michelle…and she was a total slut and dumb as hell." Kelly dips her carrot into the ranch taking a bite.

"Michelle? Fuck that was the girl from the other night? Was it serious?" Brenda isn't even a little ashamed getting the goods.

Kelly laughed out loud, "God no…he told me about that by the way. I was surprised she even knew where he lived."

"What do you mean?"

"To my knowledge, Dylan as never brought a girl to his house. That's his private sanctuary. He said he made the mistake of bringing her there once and they were only there a few minutes. Did you happen to see what she looked like?" Kelly smirks at her.

Brenda shakes her head, "She was too busy sticking her tongue down his throat and rubbing his dick."

Kelly made a face, "Ew…she's trash." Kelly took a deep breath, she looked towards the guys who were laughing and chatting. She looks back from Dylan, "The girl…Michelle…looks like you. I mean…not exactly but there was a freaky resemblance, so much so we all did a double take. She was the only one he kept in contact with, he used to bring her around every once in a while until Steve said something about her looking like Brenda's stunt double." Kelly laughed, "He stopped bringing her around after that."

Brenda looked at Dylan, his eyes met hers. He smirked a sexy smile at her. She smiled back. "Anyway…do you like the house? It's beautiful isn't it?"

Kelly changes the subject not purposely.

"God yeah…it's incredible."

"He bought it for you, you know? He never said it out loud but…he bought that house with you on his mind. He loves you Brenda. I hope someday you'll let him prove it to you."

Brenda looks away from Dylan's intense flirty stare and looks at her. Donna and Janet come over at that moment luckily and sets down the refilled margaritas and a tray of dip and chips.

"So…Bren…how's Brandon?" Kelly looks at her with a smirk as she sips her drink.

Brenda shakes her head and laughs out loud. Everything has changed so much…but then again, nothing has changed at all.

Claire finally makes an appearance and meets the group. They all hit to off well but she doesn't stay long, claiming she still had a paper to finish for an early class the following day. Soon as the night is winding down the gang is sitting around the old Walsh living room catching up. Maddie and Olivia had fallen asleep on the floor as they had put a movie on for them.

Donna hiccups and giggles. "Oh great…my wife…the light weight. Come on babe…let me get you home." David helps her up.

"I'm not light weight." Donna is slurring and the group laughs at her.

Brenda gets up, they hug, Brenda feeling pretty good too. She was happy Dylan had drove and doesn't drink because she was definitely too drunk to drive home. Not as obvious as Donna…but still warm and tingly. "You call me Brenda…we'll have a girls night. Soon…like tomorrow night." she leans away from her and smiles.

"Yeah! No boys allowed." Kelly announces agreeing its a great idea. "Invite Claire too."

Brenda nods, "Okay." She looks at Steve, Dylan then Janet and smiles, "The boys can have a play date." Janet smiles happily thinking that sounds awesome.

David and Donna leave and soon Dylan and Brenda after saying their thank you's and good byes are walking to Dylan's car. He opens up the back door, holding a sleeping Olivia setting her into the booster seat, strapping her in gently.

Brenda rests her head on the window and sighs happily. Dylan climbs into the drivers seat and looks over at her, "You have fun?"

Brenda looks at him, a smirk on her face, she nods, "So much fun." her buzz washing over her quickly. Dylan starts the car and heads home.

They tuck Olivia in kissing her without waking her and close the door to her bedroom.

Brenda stands in the hallway, looking at Dylan hungrily. "You okay?" he tilts his head noticing the glassy looks to her eyes.

"mmm hmm." she walks a step closer to him. Her chest against his. Dylan takes slow breaths, reacting to her closeness. Brenda looks into his eyes. The look of lust staring back at her. Dylan swallows hard. She reaches up and plays with the collar of his shirt. Her index finger caresses his his neck and chest. He closes his eyes feeling the electricity sparking between them. She stands on her tip toes, pressing her lips against his neck. She rubs them sensually up to his ear. Her hot breath breathes into it. Dylan's breathes out, eyes still closed, taking in her in. God he missed this.

"Bren." he whispers. "What are you doing to me?" he knows once this starts, its going to be hard to stop.

She brings her face to his. Their lips practically touching. Her fingers cares his cheek slowly. "I want you." she breathes into his mouth and the smell of rum and sweet mangos comes off thick from her breath. He pushes her back subtly, "Are you drunk?" he says with a smirk.

She lowers so she isn't on her toes anymore and shakes her head, "No."

Dylan looks a her, "Liar." he calls her out.

She giggles, "Maybe a little, I'm tired of holding back. I want you so bad…you can have the real thing, not a replacement." Dylan stares into her eyes. He doesn't want her to regret this but being with her again is almost too good to pass up. She seems ok, overly friendly but her eyes are clear. Fine a little glassy but not completely wasted. She reaches on her tip toes again and opens her lips around his and holds it. Dylan opens his mouth keeping it slow as he groans out into her mouth. His arms tighten around her, her hands find his hair. She grips it roughly and Dylan groans turned on. They are kissing frantically and groping. Dylan lifts Brenda off the ground with ease and carries her to her bedroom, its closer. He lays her on her bed, on top of her comforter and settles in between her legs on top of her. Their kisses are hungry and urgent. Clothes are flying across the room as they cling to each other. Their lips always attached to some part of each other.

"Dylan." Brenda moans as he kisses her neck. She gets aggressive and pushes him as his back hits the bed. She straddles him quickly. Leaning down and taking his lips to hers. Their tongues fight for dominance. Dylan squeezes her back side, Brenda moans out loudly. They are grinding against each other and the only thing separating them is undergarments. Dylan slows down…wanting to savor her. His hand comes to her face caressing it softly. His hand runs to the back of her neck, bringing her closer to him as they kiss gently. She sits up and Dylan sits up with her, straddling his lap.

"God…I've dreamed of this." he kisses her softly. "It wasn't even close to the real thing."

Brenda smiles, "Me too." she whispers.

Dylan takes his lips to hers again, flipping her so she is on her back again. His mouth closes around her bare nipple. As he sucks it into his mouth hard.

"Dylan?" her voice different. "Wait…Dylan." she breathes out. "I'm going to be sick." Dylan looks at her the coloring from her face go white. She pushes him away quickly and and jumps off the bed topless in her underwear as she drops to her knees, vomiting loudly into her toilet.

Dylan gets up concerned, he glances down at his full erection and shakes his head. The universe hates him. He moves toward Brenda, kneeling next to her, gathering her hair into a messy ponytail as she throws up again.

"I'm so sorry Dylan." she whispers, resting her face on the toilet.

"I'm going to murder Steve." says seriously, he knows how those margaritas sneak up on you. They are slow like a rattle snake, then they strike.

Brenda looks up at him, her eyes teary from throwing up. "This is so embarrassing."

Dylan smiles a sad smile at her letting go of her hair. "You're so god damn cute…even with vomit in your hair."

Brenda makes a face, reaching up taking a piece of hair between her fingers, "Ew."

Dylan chuckles, "I'll start the shower."

"No bath." she argues.

Dylan reaches in turning on the shower, "No…it will relax you too much…I don't want you drowning on me." he jokes and Brenda laughs.

"True." she laughs knowing he's probably right. She gets up and stands in front of him.

"Want to join me?" she raises her eyebrow at him.

He smirks and shakes his head. "Probably not a good idea."

She pouts, "Fine." She slides down her panties to the floor and steps out of them. Dylan's eyes run down her naked body, he breathes out. He notices her stripes of mother hood. Barely noticeable but he sees them. He wants her so bad, he wants to run his fingers across them, kiss them. She is the most beautiful woman in the world to him but that…makes it hard to not join her.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" he shakes his head and smirks. She smiles at him, opening the glass door and stepping in.

"I don't know what your talking about." She shrieks."Fuck…it's cold"

Dylan chuckles, "I know it will sober you up."

"Fuck that." she turns the nob a little and sighs happily as the water heats up.

"I'll be in the room if you need me." he watches her for a little while as she washes her hair but feels creepy standing there. He walks out and sits on her bed. He breathes out. What now? Will they continue where they left off? Say goodnight and return to their own bedrooms for the night. This was so much more complicated than it should be. Dylan watches her dry off and brush her teeth, thankfully if taking over where they left off is on the table. She enters her bedroom taking out a pair of underwear pulling them on. Dylan is disappointed. Then she reaches in another drawer taking out a t-shirt. She pulls is on and Dylan smiles widely seeing what it is.

"West Beverly Wildcats." he says with a smirk, "I can't believe you still have that." it was Dylan's old gym shirt. He barely ever wore it. He usually charmed his way out of gym on the regular. He looks down shyly remembering why she had it in the first place.

Junior year, Brenda and Dylan had JUST gotten back together from the Emily fiasco and after a week of blue balls and apologies, Brenda finally let Dylan back in where they had left off. He was so turned on and excited he ripped every button on Brenda's blouse. She ended up having to go home in his shirt in hopes her parents wouldn't notice her change of attire.

Brenda smiled and winked. "That was fun." she walked over to him. Siting next to him. "You know." she looked down, "This is the second time this almost happened." she looks at him.

Dylan tongue hits his cheek and he nods, "Yeah. I know."

"Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something." she rings her hands together nervously and looks down at them.

"The only thing the universe was trying to tell me this time Brenda was that you were drunker than you led on." he smirked at her.

She chuckled, "I'm sorry…I felt ok…good even…just snuck up on me. Once you flipped me on my back. The room started spinning, and it was just getting good too."

Dylan laughed and shook his head. He exhaled, "I'm gonna kill Steve."

"It's not his fault…I had fun tonight. I forgot how strong those suckers were though."

They both laughed. Silence fills the room. Brenda finally speaks out, "I know its not the same…but…you want to stay? Sleep in here…with me?" her eyes look into his and he stares back.

"I'd like that." she smiles at him with a nod and climbs into bed. Brenda leans over shutting off her light as Dylan climbs in the opposite side. Brenda cuddles into his side conformably and closes her eyes.

Dylan wraps his arm around her kissing her head gently.

"Maybe next time…we'll actually get to go through with it." he whispers hopeful.

"Maybe." she replies simply and Dylan smiles. It isn't a no.

"Good night Bren." he whispers.

"Night."

It only takes a minute before both of them are sleeping soundly. The feeling of peace, comfort and love overwhelming their dreams. This was how it was suppose to be…this was the reason he bought this house.

 _Okay so…these two…it's only a matter of time. Next up, awkward wake ups, kids say the darnest things, girls night out, pissed off Dylan. I know I know…sounds good huh. Hit review! wink wink._


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

 _Meet Jax_

Brenda feels a gentle caress across her abdomen as she wakes. The feeling of warmth surrounds her. As she moves a little his arms encircle her tightly. He stares at her face, watching her sleep. Dylan's been awake awhile but couldn't tear himself away from her. His hand gently moves up her back slowly then back down. He moves it across her panty covered bottom and squeezes. Brenda who is awake smirks.

"How long have you been awake?" she says voice filled with sleep, her mouth dry from her night of drinking.

"A while." his arms embrace her waist tightly again. He feathers light kisses over her face. Brenda giggles.

His hand moved up her side, his palm running gently over the side of her bare breast.

"How long have you been copping a feel?" she smiles and opens her eyes. He is close to her, his eyes lustful and intense.

He smiles, shrugging shyly, "Oh you know, a few hours." he jokes. Brenda laughs a little.

"Accosting me in my sleep now? We'll you haven't changed a bit." She jokes back.

Dylan laughs lightly, then he stares at her face. His hands come to her butt again. This time he pulls her even closer to him. His morning erection painfully hard and presses into her lower stomach.

"This feels right." he whispers serious now, "I want to make love to you so badly. It's hard to contain myself. He squeezes her back side again. Brenda moans loudly, his hard on pressing into her sensitive area, she is well aware her shirt has shifted over her chest in her sleep and her nipples harden instantly as they lay flush with his bare chest.

Brenda doesn't have a moment to respond as his lips are on hers. His kiss is hungry and feral as his tongue meets hers. As Brenda's hand grips his hair, thoughts run wild in her mind. No this is bad…no it isn't time…it's too soon…this isn't what roommates do…god that feels good. As Dylan settles between her legs, he grounds into her, initiating another moan from her sexy mouth. Brenda knows she is soaked, as he kisses her neck sensually she feels the wetness spread. Her mouth may be like the Sahara from drinking but her nether regions are like a rain forest. She knows she should stop this but the truth is she hasn't felt this turned on…this good in years. She has been with other men, it never felt this good. Her mind comes to the present as Dylan trails his hand slowly down the middle of her body. His hand reaches the top of her panties and it's not even a second before his hand is down the front of it. His fingers circle her mound once and he groans.

"God you're so wet." his voice is deep and sexually charged. He really had no intention of this when he woke up but he couldn't help it. He dreamed of her last night. Her body cuddled into his own. It was familiar and perfect and his dick hard as ever did the thinking. She would stop him if she wasn't into it he figures.

His finger plunges into her, "Oh god." her eyes close. She has every intention to stop this but she can't. He feels to good, she feels too good. "We shouldn't." she whispers with her eyes close as he pumps into her faster.

"You want me to stop?" he breathes against her lips. Her head shaking no, no she doesn't want him to stop.

He keeps a steady pace. Her eyes open as he looks down at her. "Bren." he breathes. He wants her he wants her more than he has ever wanted anyone.

Brenda knows she'll regret this, "Dylan…make love to me." she can't even believe the words that came out of her mouth. He smirks down at her. His hand is out of her panties, both hands grip the sides to pull them off. When Brenda's bedroom door swings open loudly.

"Mommy?" Dylan fumbles comically as he moves to the side of her. Brenda grabbing the blankets pulling them up quickly. "Daddy? What are you doing?" Olivia's little voice confused.

Brenda breathes out in a huff, "Nothing baby." she runs and jumps on the foot of the bed. "Daddy…I want pancakes."

Dylan knows he is no shape to leave this bed at the moment. He needs a minute to calm his body. Almost as though Brenda senses it, she pulls down her shirt to cover herself under the covers. She pushes them back abruptly and gets up quickly.

"Run downstairs…I'm right behind you."Olive smiles unaffected and nods. She is jumping off of the bed, as her little feet sound down the stairs.

Brenda looks at Dylan awkwardly. "We can't do this Dylan. It's confusing to her." She stands at the bedside looking down at him.

Dylan shakes his head, "She's fine Bren…she's young, she doesn't know what we were doing. It isn't confusing to her."

"Then it's confusing to me." she stares at him for a second and moves to exit her bedroom.

Dylan exhales, his hands run down his face disappointed. It was his fault, he got carried away. This was normal for them, at least the old them. Morning sex was Brenda's favorite and Dylan enjoyed sex with her at anytime of day. The huge difference now being they had daughter now to think about and they weren't together. He waited a few minutes for his dick to cooperate as he entered his bedroom. He grabbed a pair of sleep pants and hoisted them over his hips. Dylan sat on the bed, taking in the morning. Being with Brenda, in her bed was just as he remembered. They had a cute little girl as a cock blocker now, which most kids are. If it wasn't Michelle, the universe, the margaritas or his daughter…it would probably be something else. He didn't understand how this couldn't work out. They still loved each other, they were still great together, the chemistry was as strong as ever, they shared a child together…what was needed to make this any more perfect?

Dylan made his way into the kitchen finally. The smell of buttermilk pancakes filling the kitchen. "Hi daddy." Olivia said happily as she forked a big bite of pancakes in her mouth.

Dylan smiled at her, "Hi baby." he walked to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup.

He turned taking a sip as he looked at his girls. Brenda looked everywhere but at him, an embarrassed awkward energy surrounded the kitchen. She got up to refill her cup as Dylan reached out with one hand. His fingers gripping his old gym shirt.

"Can we talk about this?" he whispered. Brenda looked at him. She swallowed hard and then looked at Olivia, who was staring at them. The energy so thick even the 3 year old sensed it.

"Later." she turned away from his intense stare and poured her coffee. Brenda's cell rang at that moment and she moved to the kitchen table grabbing it.

"Hello? Oh hey Donna." She smiled.

Brenda laughed as Donna told her she was feeling it this morning. "I'm okay. Uh uh…sure…yeah that sounds great." Dylan smiled at Olivia as he sat beside her. She fed him a bite of her pancakes. Brenda watched them and took a deep breath as she listened to Donna plan the night ahead. "Alright Don…sounds good, Yep 7 is perfect. See you then…Bye." Brenda flipped her phone closed as she continued to watch Dylan kiss Olivia's face over and over causing her to giggle out loud.

Dylan's attention turned towards Brenda as she sat, hugging her coffee like it was something stronger.

"Girls night?"

Brenda cleared her throat and nodded, "You don't mind right?"

Dylan shook his head, "Not at all…we'll have fun huh Olivia?" she nods happily and he winks at her. "Besides…it will do you some good to hang out with the girls. I know they've missed you. I'll call Steve maybe head over there have some dinner, let the girls play for a little while."

Brenda nodded agreeing that it was a good plan. Dylan's cell rang at that moment. He smiles and grabs it, seeing Steve must have read his mind.

"Hey Steve…yeah that's the plan…No that's perfect I was going to suggest that. Alright sounds good. See you later." Their conversation short.

"Steve said for you to come meet Janet. I'll bring you so you don't have to drive. The girls can play, you and Janet can meet the girls at the After dark together…is that okay?"

Brenda nodded, "Yeah that's great thank you. I'll cab it home." Dylan nods sipping his coffee. The rest of breakfast is quiet and awkward. Brenda excuses herself to shower and to get ready for the day. Dylan spends time with Olivia, welcoming the separation.

The day had gone on much like the morning. Brenda and Dylan avoided the impending conversation that they needed to have and soon it was time to get ready for her girls night. She was looking forward to it more than anything. She needed the space from Dylan and the company of her girl friends. Claire was meeting them at the club. If she couldn't get advice from her old friends, at least she knew she could talk to Claire about what was happening on the home front. She was so torn, confused and lost in how to handle this with Dylan. It was more complicated and even harder than anticipated. Being around him all the time. Seeing how loving and amazing he was with their daughter. It was a difficult place to be in.

Brenda looked at herself in her mirror. She wore low rise light washed jeans, which were the new rage now. It's funny how the last time she had hung out with Donna and Kelly, high waisted jeans were popular. She wore a sexy sheer black top, with capped sleeves. It tied in the cleavage area and opened towards the bottom showing her flat stomach. She finished it off with a pair of scrappy heels. She wore her hair long and half up half down, created some height with the bang portion, pretty pieces of her dark hair hung down her face giving the look of messy when she had just spend 30 minutes styling it. She was ready as she grabbed her black clutch and headed down the stairs.

Dylan and Olivia sat on the couch, watching some kid program cuddled together as Brenda walked in. Dylan's eyes landed on her. He took a deep breath, as his eyes travelled down her tiny figure. "Wow." he breathed.

"Yeah…wow mommy you look pretty." Olivia smiled at her.

Brenda shyly looked down, blushing slightly and smirked, "Thank you."

Dylan got up and walked closer to her, "Olivia go grab your bag we packed to take to Maddie's" he said not taking his eyes off of her.

She ran by and headed up to her room to get it.

Brenda's eyes met his, "I'm not sure how I feel about this outfit. On one hand you look good enough to eat…on the other hand you're going out without me." His eyes traveled down her body again.

Brenda smiled and shook her head. She lightly hits his chest with her clutch, rolling her eyes. They stared at each other longer than appropriate until Olivia ran in. Without speaking they headed to the car and off to Steve and Janet's. After chatting a little at the house and having a pre-drink, the girls were on their way to the After Dark in a cab to meet Donna and Kelly.

Janet and Brenda were becoming fast friends, they had a lot in common both having little girls the same age. They talked about the girls with pride and even talked about visiting the preschool they were both enrolled in together. Back in London, Brenda didn't have many friends with kids so she embraced the connection she was having with Steve's wife. She was intelligent and sweet, they both had a fond loving appreciation for the group and Steve's goofiness. Brenda liked her and Janet liked her back. It was showing to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

They entered the club and looked around for Donna and Kelly. They found them quickly as the girls held down a table over looking the dance floor. The club was packed as Brenda looked around. She had heard about the After Dark, from Brandon and Valerie, who she kept in touch with but had never been here. Janet and Brenda approached the girls with greetings and hugs. A waiter took their drink order quickly as they took their seats.

"This place is awesome." Brenda smiles taking in the atmosphere. "It must have been amazing having a place like this in college."

Kelly smiled, "It was fun. Steve started it more as an underground type thing but since becoming legit, business is always good here."

The waiter brought the girls drinks over at that moment and Brenda happily took a sip. "It looks that way. Who owns this place now?"

Kelly and Donna look at one another and smile, "Dylan does." Kelly says as her eyes meet Brenda's.

"Dylan owns a club? Woah talk about weird." Brenda laughs a little hiding the hurt she doesn't know this fact.

Donna nods, "He isn't here much…he's more the money behind it. Jax runs it mostly. Which by the way Bren…you should meet…he is so hot." Donna giggles taking a sip of her drink. Kelly nods agreeing.

Brenda shrugs, "I have enough relationship issues in my life at the moment, dating Dylan's employee…probably not the smartest idea" she says with humor in her voice.

"How are things with Dylan?" Kelly asks curiously. The girls lean in, obvious in their interest.

"Confusing." Brenda looks at the dance floor, eyeing the people having a good time.

"How so?" Janet asks, her head tilting kindly.

Brenda looks around at her friends, "This is weird talking about." Brenda shakes her head.

"Why?" Donna asks sweetly, "We are your friends…plus we know Dylan. The boy is seriously whipped on you. You don't have to tell us Bren…but I don't know. I guess we just want you to know that if you wanted too, we're here for you." Brenda smiled.

She took a much needed deep breath, "Honestly…it's hard living with Dylan. Seeing him with Olivia is amazing but there is still that part of my heart that loves him. Will always love him and the other half, just doesn't want to get hurt again, it's trying on me."

The girls nod understanding. "I don't know…I'd rather not talk about Dylan. Not because I don't want to with you guys…just I was looking forward to tonight to get away from the subject. Have some fun."

Kelly smiled, "Well…being the only two single ladies at this table, there are more than enough good looking guys around here to at least check out."

Brenda giggled an held up her drink, "To girls night and hot guys." The girls laughed holding their glasses up.

"To girls night!" they clink their drinks together and have a mutual sip

"Let's dance." Brenda announces and soon all 4 of them are having a blast.

As the night goes on, Brenda is having a really good time. She has danced with 5 cute guys and has had equal if not more of cocktails. She is feeling free, young again and attractive. She smiles at the bar watching Kelly, dance with a dark hair guy. She is flirty and having a great time. Kelly winks at her wrapping her arms tightly around the stranger.

Brenda laughs and looks towards the bartender, who is up to her ears in drink orders and has yet to show her any attention. She feels someone slide in beside her. She doesn't pay attention much considering the bar is so packed. The bartender comes right over and asks him for his order.

"What will it be?" Brenda exhales annoyed.

"I'll have a Pacifico Dawn thanks."

Brenda stares at the bartender, who quickly turns grabbing a bottled beer from the fridge, popping off the top and handing it to him.

"Typical." Brenda mumbles. So typical a female bartender would help the males first.

"You've been waiting long for a drink?" the man beside her speaks up.

Brenda exhales and finally looks over at him. She freezes and admires how handsome he is. "Uh." she stumbles not expecting it. "Yeah…you got lucky I guess, she hasn't paid any attention to me since I got here."

The attractive man smiles. He is breathtakingly beautiful, rugged, perfect chiseled features. He leans in and suddenly Brenda is hot…his close proximity doing things to her body. "Don't take it too personal, she has to serve me…I'm her boss." he whispers and smiles.

Brenda giggles, Holy shit, she is like a school girl. "Dawn." he calls out, "Get this pretty young lady whatever she wants…on the house."

Dawn smiles at him and nods. She is over in a second, "What can I get you sweetie…sorry its a mad house." she smiles at her now, again typical since now her boss is watching.

"Dirty martini….thanks." she smiles and turns her attention towards the beautiful man standing next to her.

"I'm not even going to comment." he says playfully, a sparkle in his eye.

Brenda giggles again. Jesus, what is wrong with her? She recovers quickly, "It's Brenda." she holds out her hand. "And thank you for the help." she smiles a flirty smile.

He looks at her. His eyes bright blue and intense, she is pulled in like a spell, "Jax." He reaches for her hand and kisses it softly, "And it's a pleasure."

Jax? Like Dylan's employee Jax, she decides to test him, does he use this place to pick up women? "You own this place?"

Jax shakes his head, "No…I run it though." He proceeds to tell her about the club but Brenda finds herself checking him out. Donna was not joking, he was hot…he was more than hot. He was movie star hot. His hair a dirty blonde, he was tall and muscular, his white tee hugging his bicep tightly. He has tattoos on both upper arms, his left has one on his forearm too. He was pretty…but not feminine with light facial hair and a go tee or short beard going. His eyes big and blue and demanding. He looks just like Charlie Hunnam an english actor who she met at RADA who now was on TV. He had that bad boy look, with Brad Pitt beauty.

"You want to dance?" he asks, Brenda not having a clue on half the stuff he just said.

Brenda grabs her martini taking a sip, he flusters her. She nods, "Sure. Just give me a second to put this down at my table."

He smiles at her as she leads the way to the table. Donna and Kelly are sitting down. They see Jax right away and smile.

"Hey Jax." Donna says.

Kelly smiles at him. "I see you met our Brenda."

"Hey Donna…Kelly…I have." he smiles at them, "Where have you been hiding her?"

Brenda blushes furiously. Donna laughs, "She just moved back to LA, Bren's been living in London."

"London eh?" Jax looks down at her. He smiles brightly. "Well ladies…I'm going to steal your friend if you don't mind."

Kelly smirks, "We don't mind." Jax looks down at Brenda, she sees Kelly wink at her, Donna smiling approving. She looks at him as she feels him take her hand. She looks back at her friends as Jax pulls her gently towards the dance floor. Donna give her a thumb up with a smile which causes Brenda to chuckle. If this guy is such a catch, how come Kelly hasn't tried to date him, or maybe she has and that thought makes Brenda's smile fade.

Jax leads her to the center of the dance floor, his arms wrap around her waist tightly, he is looking down at her hungrily and Brenda takes a deep breath. "So how do you know the girls?"

Jax smirks a sexy smile, "I was going to ask you the same question…the owner…those are his friends. I've gotten to know the gang pretty well. They have been coming here for a long time."

Brenda nods, "You?" he makes good eye contact. He isn't checking her out, or staring at her breasts. There is butterflies in her belly that she isn't used to feeling…at least not with someone besides Dylan.

Brenda clears her throat, she is well aware at he body flush against his, his strong arms holding her tightly. He smells masculine and sexy, "I went to high school with the gang."

Jax smiles again, "Oh cool…so you know Dylan? He owns this place."

Brenda purses her lips together, "I know Dylan…he's a really good friend."

He nods and looks deeply into her eyes. He pulls her closer to him and Brenda happily obliges. She rests her head on his chest. She feels him sway her slowly, his face dropping to her hair. What the hell was happening? It felt good in his arms. She tried to tell herself this wasn't a good idea. She had no idea where things were with Dylan. And starting up something, or even hooking up with this guy spelled trouble. Her mind was being logical but her heart was so drawn to him it scared her. Brenda had always kept men at arms reach. She was a mother and besides the fact she had a little girl to care for, she didn't meet many men. She didn't go out to the pubs or go on many dates. The few men she had dated she met through plays or acting but had never been serious. Not serious enough to introduce them to her daughter. Brenda surprised herself with her thinking. Why was she even thinking about this? Jax was gorgeous he probably did this often especially working in a bar.

"So what do you do Brenda?" Brenda looks up at him.

"I'm an actress…theater. I moved here because I got a spot in a company here in LA."

Jax nodded looking deeply in her eyes, "God you're something." he whispers softly and Brenda isn't even sure she was suppose to hear it. She blushes again.

"Oh…I'm sure you say that to all the girls." She jokes.

He shakes his head, "No…not at all actually." there is truth in his eyes and Brenda thinks about one thing and one thing only, she has got to get the details on him.

Jax and Brenda continue to dance and chat about life. They are the same age, and both grew up in LA. They hit it off really well and Brenda is smitten. He gently kisses her forehead and excuses himself to check on a few things, so Brenda takes a moment to head back to the table to get the scoop.

Donna smiles at her as she approaches, "I told you."

Brenda rolls her eyes playfully, embarrassed, "Alright ladies the deets. Is this guy a player?"

Kelly shakes her head, "Not at all, I've actually never seen him with a girl…I have flirted shamelessly with him, getting absolutly no where. Honestly Donna and I have joked that even though he is too manly to be gay, he might be, he is definitely pretty enough." Kelly smirked, "But there goes that theory." Donna, Claire, Kelly and Janet laugh.

"He likes you Brenda…god…go for it. He's beyond gorgeous, really sweet too." Donna encourages.

Brenda looks towards the bar, she sees him carrying two cases of beer behind the bar. His muscles more defined, she licks her lips.

"Have him take you home." Donna says with a smile, "We're about done here anyway…spend some time with him."

"Donna!" Brenda smiles, "I can't have him take me home…Dylan's there."

She shrugs, "I'm not saying to sleep with him Brenda but you guys like each other." she shrugs innocently, "See what happnes."

Brenda looks at the girls, "You can pretend we ditched you." Janet says with a sneaky smile and Kelly nods.

"Oh my god…you guys are bad influences." She looks towards Jax again. He smiles at her from behind the bar. He was already watching her.

Kelly looks at her, a serious friendly expression, "Are you ready to try things again with Dyan?" she asks honestly.

Brenda swallows hard, she thinks for a moment, "No…I don't think I am."

Kelly shrugs, "So what's the problem. Dylan is no saint. Might actually do him a little good."

Brenda takes a deep breath, she thinks about Michelle and all the numerous girls Dylan himself told her about. It isn't about payback. She likes this guy. She looks around at the girls who all seem to be in agreement. "Fine…but don't leave…if he doesn't offer than I'm riding with you guys."

The girls agree and Brenda walks over to the bar. Jax walks around it meeting her. "I think the girls want to take off." she looks at him, doe like.

"Already? I get off in 30…hang out…I can bring you home." he offers right away.

'You sure?" He smirks a sexy smile at her.

"Very." She shrugs and nods.

"Ok." she nods simply.

Brenda goes back to the girls and tells them she's good. The girls take off and Brenda enjoys the next 30 minutes with a beautiful man. Drinking, talking and laughing. She doesn't know how this may work out but at this moment in time. She doesn't care.

Janet pays the cab driver as she heads up the driveway. She takes a deep breath as she notices Dylan's car still there. She uses her key to open the front door. Steve and Dylan on the couch, chatting.

"Hey beautiful." Steve calls out, "You have fun?"

Janet nods, "Yeah…it was great…where are the girls?"

"Crashed out. I told Dylan to leave Oli. Why wake her? He was actually waiting around to see if Bren came back with you."

Janet looked between the guys, she swallowed hard. "Um no. She went home I'm assuming." Janet had no idea what to say. She didn't want to lie. Why the hell did it matter? She liked Brenda and Jax was a stand up guy. She knew first hand what it was like to be a young mom. Why shouldn't she have fun?

Dylan smiled at her, "I should head there too. I'll be over in the morning. Call me if Olivia wakes up and wants to come home."

Janet smiled back, "I'm sure she'll be fine." Dylan nods he reaches out his hand to Steve. They do their custom guy shake and Dylan moves to Janet. He kisses her sweetly on the cheek.

"Night."

Janet looks down, "Night." the living room is silent as the click of the front door sounds out. Steve gets up looking at his wife, "What are you hiding?" he smirks at her.

Janet exhales, "Bren…she stayed…with Jax."

Steve eyes widen, "I thought he was gay."

Janet smiles and shakes her head, "Not gay…not gay at all, they really hit it off."

"Really?" Steve breathes out. "Huh." He shrugs and wraps his arm around her. "Bren's a big girl…and Dylan…well…I guess we'll find out."

Janet looks up at Steve. Kisses him gently. "Yeah…I guess we will."

Brenda sits in front of her house. "Thanks for the ride."

"Thanks for staying and closing up with me." he says as he looks at her. "Can I see you again?"

Brenda looks down, "Look Jax…you are really sweet but there is something you should know." He looks at her, giving her undivided attention. "I have a daughter."

Jax smiles wide, "A kid? How old?"

"She'll be 4 next weekend." Brenda plays with her hand in her lap.

"Awe. I love kids." he looks down with a smirk, "Was that suppose to scare me off?" Brenda chuckles quietly.

She shakes her head, "No…but…her dad."

The sexy smile fades from his face, "is still in the picture?" his expression breaks her heart.

"He is now…but…no not really the way you think…it's very compliacted."

Jax shrugs, "Look Brenda…I like you. There is just something…between us." he looks down shyly, "Am I imagining it?" he makes sure.

Brenda smiles and laughs, "God no…it's definitely there."

Jax leads in, "Good." his breathe fawns over her face. He smells of mint and him.

"I should go in." she exhales and smirks at him. "You got a phone?"

He smiles and reaches into the pocket of his jeans. He hands it to her. Brenda adds her contact into his phone, noticing he doesn't have many girl names in there. She hands it over to him and opens the passenger side door.

"Bren…wait." Jax is out of the drivers seat and walking over to her side quickly. He pulls the door open wider for her. She gets out and looks up at him. She can't help the pull, it was strong and fun. "Can I call you tomorrow?"

Brenda breahes out, Jax stepping closer to her. Brenda is embarrassed to even think what she would let this man do to her if Dylan wasn't inside or more importantly their daughter.

"Sure…I have rehearsal until 3 but…you can call anytime."

"Okay." his eyes glance down at her lips, then back at her eyes. He leans into her, Brenda closing her eyes in preparation. His lips touch hers softly. Chastised and gentle. Brenda opens her mouth around his, her arms come around his neck tightly as he grips her back roughly. His tongue pushing into her mouth to meet hers. Brenda breathes into his mouth, both catching their breath as Jax deepens the kiss. She feels his hands grip her ass roughly and before she knows it he lifts her with ease and gently places her on the hood of his car. He presses himself closer, fitting in between her legs with ease. Passion and sexual need pouring out of both of them as they kiss. His lips kiss down her neck and Brenda exhales loudly. They run senually up to her ear. He breathes into it causing chills to run all over her body.

"Wow." he whispers. Brenda smiles, she moves her mouth back to his and kisses him frantically, his hands feeling her thighs slowly, his touch electric . He pushes her lightly, resting his forehead against hers, "You should go in." his teeth are almost clinched. Brenda is well aware he wants her as much as she wants him. Would it be slutty to ask him to go to his place? She scoffs at herself in her head, _yes it would be jesus._

Brenda breaths out, "it was really nice meeting you, Jax." she pauses not really knowing his last name.

Jax stays close to her and laughs, "O'Neil…Jaxson O'Neil."

"Brenda Walsh." he looks at her, his chest heaving heavy. "Man I'm glad I met you too."

He leans in and kisses her softly his time. "Ill call you tomorrow."

She nods, leaning in and kisssing him again. "Good night." he backs away slowly as Brenda sets herself on her feet. She feels light headed practically.

"Night." she breathes. It only take one second for her to kiss him again. His hand is on her neck, his tongue is dancing with hers as she grips him tightly. A slam of a car door makes Brenda break the kiss. She doesn't look at the direction of the noise but knows it's time to really say good night. "Tomorrow." she nods taking a step towards the long walk way.

"I can't wait." They stare at each other and then finally Brenda walks up to the front door. She is smiling and feeling giddy and is two seconds from jumping up and down. She turns to watch him drive away and she sighs dreamily.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She jumps startled as she then notices Dylan standing on the porch. His car keys in her hand, the car door slam.

Her hand goes to her heart, "Jesus…Dylan…you scared me." she looks down.

"Was that Jax?" he asks looking towards the street.

"Uh…yeah…that's him." She doesn't know what the fuck she's saying. She gets the key into the door and opens it quickly. She swallows hard as she walks into the foyer, Dylan behind her.

"Where's Olivia?" She turns to looks at him.

The front door slams and Brenda jumps again. She takes in his face, he looks livid.

"Olivia is at Steve's, she feel asleep. Where have you been?" his voice hard and cold.

Brenda shrugs, "The club…Jax offered me a ride. Actually it's so late, I should get to sleep, rehearsal in the morning. Good night." she starts to walk through the living rom.

"Brenda?" Dylan voice is still hard, stern. She closes her eyes not looking forward to this conversation. She turns to face him, he is staring at her. Hurt in his eyes and she can't breathe for a moment. "Did you…did you sleep with him?"

"No! Come on Dylan…this isn't your business. He's a nice guy, we hung out."

"You are my fucking business Brenda…and that looked like more than hanging out. He was practically dry humping you on the hood of his fucking car." he yelled.

Brenda's hand came to her hip, "You were watching us?"

Dylan barked out a laugh, "Watching you Brenda…I drove up 10 fucking minutes ago…you were too busy with your tongue down his throat to even notice."

"You're not being fair." She crosses her arms, anger building inside of her.

"Fair? You cried your eyes out when you saw me with Michelle, but I'm not fair because I'm questioning what the hell is going on? Just this morning…and last night…what the fuck am I suppose to think?" he yells loudly.

Brenda flinches, "Dylan…that was a mistake." she tries to explain.

"A mistake?" Dylan breathes, "So…your going to see him again? My employee?" his voice hard again, hurt.

Brenda swallows hard, "Dylan…your the father of my daughter, I love you and care about you but…I don't have to justify my personal relationships to you. Especially because there is nothing to tell. Now if you'll excuse me…I'm going to sleep."

"Bren?" Dylan's voice breaks. "Come on…I love you." his eyes are sad. "We have a kid." he pleads.

Brenda stops and stares at the stairs, her back towards him. "I love you too…but my opinion on us…being us is the same. Good night." She proceeds to climb the steps.

Dylan watches her retreat to her rom. He looks down, fucking Jax? Dylan has never seen that guy hit on anyone. Women practically throw themselves at him and he doesn't give them any mind. He is the best employee/manager Dylan has ever had at the After Dark. They are friendly, not friends but professional. How the hell did this happen? Dylan sighs and goes plopping on his couch. He squeezes his eyes shut imagining what he had just seen. He leans forward, pressing his elbow into his knees and looks to the floor.

His hand comes across his mouth as he shakes his head disappointed, _that mother fucker_ , he thinks to himself. he exhales loudly, teeth clinched in anger, _that mother fucker is so fired._

 _Dun Dun Duuuunnnnn Dun! Jax and Brenda sitting in a tree. Who thinks Brenda should date this guy? Who thinks Dylan is overreacting? Everyone is probably right. Hate to break it to you folks but there is nothing wrong with Jax, he is hardworking and sweet and Brenda is going to be crazy about him. Beware. How do you think thats going to go? How do you think Jax will react to finding out about who Olivia's dad is? Please review. it's just about to get good._


	8. Chapter 8

_Getting mixed reviews about Jax. Also about Brenda dating him. As of now she knows things with Dylan can't continue the way they've been. The honest truth is Dylan has hurt her repeatedly and she doesn't trust him. She is genuinely going to like Jax and Dylan is going to have to deal. But I'm not saying slipping into something with Jax will be easy either. Just because Dylan is in love with her doesn't take away Brenda's pain. So…I hope you continue to follow the story. It will be a BD HEA so don't worry. You will have to see how it all plays out. Jax is a supposed to be a likable guy, right now it seems to be more physical attraction but she'll get to know him and so will you guys. I know many see this as a payback…it might have started that way but it wont end up that way. Brenda is protecting herself, her heart and she'll give this thing with Jax a go, I know you're disappointed. Obviously as Dylan's employee there is some awkwardness there and not without warrant. I guess you guys will have to see how that runs out as well. Thanks for listening and I apologize for those who are not Jax and Brenda fans…Dylan needs to win her back and Brenda needs to experience other people. Brenda has been raising a little girl on her own. She hasn't gotten out there and experienced life and now that Dylan is in Olivia's life, she has a chance too. I know I said it isn't about payback but everyone has to understand. Brenda had to watch kelly and Dylan for years. She took him back in London, just to be left again. Dylan and Kelly got together again. She has been hurt by him a lot. Of course she loves him, she always will but she doesn't want to get hurt. Just because Dylan still loves her and wants to make it work, doesn't mean Brenda owes Dylan that. She owes him time with their daughter etc, but she doesn't owe him her heart. Now if you guys decide to still read, which of course I hope you will, you'll see these things are complicated. And things take time. I can't make people like Jax but I can try to add depth to his character etc. but you guys haven't given me a chance to yet. Dylan may still be in love with Brenda but he wasn't waiting around for her. He was a slut! he had no intention of calling her or seeing her until he ran into her that day. Olivia is their connection now. I don't think its fair for Brenda to not get out there. Why should she be jealous and mopey. Hell no…its Brenda's turn. Ok rant over! LOL I love you guys and I love that you all are so passionate about it. Please don't stop reviewing and giving your opinions. And if you are a guest…please register…so I can message you back! Hint Hint Crystal!_

 _Chapter 8_

 _Bad Idea_

Dylan sips his coffee and looks up from the newspaper toward Brenda. She sits silent, eating a bowl of fruit as she has her morning coffee. She is dressed for the day and has to get to rehearsal soon. She doesn't get to enjoy her Sunday like Dylan and Olivia does, her days off are Saturday's and Monday's unless the play is running. Brenda has given Dylan the silent treatment since she made her way downstairs. Dylan giving it right back. Considering Olivia was still at Steve's he figures someone has to talk to the other eventually. Dylan decides maybe he should start.

"So…I'll pick up Olivia at Steve's and hang with her today while you are at rehearsal?" Dylan said calmly, watching her.

She doesn't look up from her bowl of fruit. "Yeah." she answered simply.

"What time is rehearsal until?"

"3." Brenda finishes off her coffee and gets up, placing her empty bowl and mug in the sink. Dylan watches her avoid eye contact, answering in one word sentences. It seems Brenda is just as angry with him as he is with her.

Dylan takes a deep breath, "Bren…come on." Dylan sighs, "We can't just ignore each other."

Brenda faces the sink. Dylan sees her take a needed deep breath as well. She turns, resting her hands on the counter behind her as she leans against it. She stares at him.

"Look I'm sorry I freaked out…it's just really confusing Bren. One minute you're telling me you want me to make love to you…then next your making out with some guy on the hood of his car." Brenda looks down guiltily. "You know how I feel about you. I can't help the way I reacted. It wasn't easy seeing you with someone else."

Brenda exhales and walks over to Dylan. She sit in the chair by him, "I know. I've been there with you actually." Dylan looks down guilt rushing over him. "You can't all of a sudden act like a jealous boyfriend Dylan when I really did nothing wrong. The truth is, I don't know what's going to happen. I met a nice guy, we had a good time and that was it. I don't even know if he'll call me? But things with me and you, I know are complicated. I know I have given you mixed signals. I don't mean too. It's just natural to be that way with you because it's how it's always been. I've known you for 12 years Dylan…out of those 12 years, we have been a couple for practically half of them. We share a daughter together, we have a past, I care about you."

"I care about you too." Dylan reaches his hand out and covers hers.

Brenda gives him a small smile, "We have to set some boundaries Dylan. This can't continue the way it's been. I agreed to move in here so you can be a part of Olivia's everyday life. We aren't getting back together and the fooling around and…stuff…has to stop."

Dylan looks down and swallows hard, he doesn't like it but knows she is right. "Alright." he reluctantly agrees. "And Jax?"

Brenda huffs out a laugh, "Dylan…we hung out one night. Spare me. He's a nice guy, I had a good time. It was one night…I have no idea whats going to happen with that."

"But you like him." Dylan looks down, trying to stay calm.

Brenda looks at Dylan. She exhales, "I do." she lift one shoulder, "But I barely know him."

Dylan swallows hard, Jax wasn't a good friend of Dylan's. He didn't know the personal side of him. He did know him professionally for a few years though. He knows he seems like a stand up guy, he knows he is a hard worker and runs the club to perfection for Dylan. The books were always detailed and organized, he always had months end reports for Dylan to see, he handled any and all drama retaining to employee problems. There has been zero turn around, meaning people are happy to work there. The staff loves him and the club was making money and running smoothly. He also know that Jax is a good looking guy, he's heard it enough times from the girls. He also knows Jax has female clientele throwing themselves at him nightly and he never let's girls get in the way of the business. He politely declines and works hard. As a matter of fact, Jax has never to his knowledge screwed around with the customers or the employee and thats a lot more than Dylan can say.

"Just be careful Bren." Brenda smiles at Dylan.

She nods, "I will. I'm not looking for heavy Dylan. I just had a fun night. Being a single mother is a lot of work. Even though I love being a mom and Olivia is everything to me, I got pregnant young, maybe not teen young but I was 23 when I had her. I kind of missed that bar scene. Jax was interesting and handsome. We hit it off and I guess I wasn't thinking about much of anything."

Dylan looked down, he hated this conversation but he knew Brenda was just trying to be honest with him. "Look Dylan…I know the guy is your employee, I know you saw us last night and that hurt you. I don't want to hurt you and if I knew you were watching, it would have been different. I don't know what's going to happen with Jax…or any guy I may meet and hit it off with. The only way this thing with me and you will work is if we talk like this and be honest with each other. We've dealt with hard times. We're friends…partners…we have a beautiful little girl that adores us. She is the most important thing. She is our priority but…if you don't want us to live here…just tell me and I'll find something near here. If the idea of me dating bothers you…maybe this living together thing was a bad idea?"

Dylan shakes his head quickly, "No…I don't want you guys to move out. I like having you here. I'm sorry for the jealous boyfriend thing. I'm not going to pretend I don't love you Brenda. I'm not going to pretend you having some boyfriend is not going to bother me, it's gonna fucking bother me. But I get it. It isn't my business and we'll be honest with each other but I do have a say in who is around my daughter though."

Brenda nods, "I know…same with me with whatever girls you're seeing. I feel like the best thing for us is to make a deal with each other, I wont introduce Olivia to anyone I may potentially see unless its serious and you do the same. If…it comes to that, we talk about it? Deal?"

Dylan nods swallowing hard, "Fine…deal." he says quietly. He doesn't want Brenda and Olivia to move out. If brenda says she isn't looking for serious then maybe he has nothing to worry about? I mean she has a point. Jax and her hung out one night. It's not like she is in a full fledge relationship with the guy. Maybe it was just a one night thing? Dylan hopes it was only a one night thing.

"I got to get to work." she gets up in search of her purse. Brenda's phone sits on the kitchen table as it dings alerting a message. Dylan glances down at it, an LA number shows on her home screen. Underneath the number reads, _Good morning beautiful_.

Dylan bites the inside of his lip as Brenda comes in purse in tow. She grabs her phone sticking it in her bag without looking at it and leans over kissing Dylan on the cheek.

"See you later, kiss Olivia for me."

Dylan takes a deep breath and forces a smile as he watches her leave. He knows the text message is from Jax, he just isn't programed into her contacts yet, who else would it be? He also wonders if during their little club date night, if Brenda told him about Olivia or even about himself and their past. Dylan smirks, he doesn't spend much time at the club, he has never needed too. He suddenly has the need to check on his business.

Dylan walks in holding Olivia's hand as the smell of grease, fries and burgers surround him. He leads Olivia over to the counter. He lifts her easily and places her on the stool and takes a seat next to her. Nat is there in an instant.

He breathes out with a smile looking at the little girl, his hand rests over his heart, he smiles at Dylan, "Is this her…is this Olivia? His voice resembling a baby.

Dylan laughs at him, "Olivia…this is Daddy and Mommy's good friend Nat…Nat this is my Olivia."

Olivia sticks her small arm across the counter, "Pleasure to meet you sir."

Nat laughs out loud, "Oh honey it's Nat…and the pleasure is all mine sweetie." he sticks two menus in front of them, "You my darling…look just like your mama."

Olivia smiles, "Well that's pretty so thank you."

Nat chuckles, "Oh Dylan…you got to watch out for this one."

Dylan continues to smile and nods, "Tell me about it."

"Mr. Nat…do you have ice cream here?"

"Olivia…you have eat lunch first." Dylan shakes her head.

"Tell you what." Nat leans closer to the little girl, "You order whatever you want for lunch on me and I will personally bring you the biggest bowl of ice cream I have."

Olivia lights up, "Deal! Mr Nat is awesome!"

Nat melts and looks at Dylan. His hand rests over his heart again. "I'll give you guys a few." he is smitten with Olivia and she has already captured his heart.

"What do you want girly?" Dylan looks over at the kids menu with Olivia.

"Do they have grill cheese?"

"They do."

Nat is over a minute later to take their order. "I'll have grilled cheese and fries."

"Fruit." Mumbles Dylan. Nat looks between then humorously.

"Fine." she huffs, "Fruit." she says less excitedly.

"Got it. And you Dylan?"

"Mega burger."

"Fries or fruit?" Nat holds back his smirk as Olivia lifts an eyebrow at him.

Dylan looks between them, he grunts, "Fries with both." he doesn't want fruit and how is that fair?

Nat laughs out loud again, "Coming right up."

Olivia dances in her seat getting her way. "This will be our secret." Dylan leans in and smiles.

"Okay!" she leans in and kisses her fathers cheek and Dylan is mush. He knows he can't always give her her way…but shit it's hard not too.

Nat keeps his word and brings Olivia ice cream and he chats with her about dance camp and life in LA. Nat asks Dylan about Brenda and tells him to pass along that she better get her butt in there to see him before she hurts his feelings. Dylan promises to bring her in and after paying the bill, he takes a walk next door to check on the After Dark. The club is closed so he takes Olivia with him and sees Jax taking inventory and restocking the bar.

"Hey McKay…how are you man?" Jax puts down his clip board and walks over to shake his hand. Jax looks down at Olivia, "And who's this gorgeous girl?" he smiles a warm smile at her.

"Olivia honey…see that stage over there? You want to try it out?"

Her eyes get big and she nods happily. She runs over stepping up on the stage and starts to do a little dance.

Jax smiles as he watches her, "She is a little performer." His attention coming back to Dylan.

"Yeah…she's just like her mom." He comments being truthful.

"I didn't know you had a kid man…she's adorable." Jax looks at Olivia again. He chuckles quietly as he watches her do a ballet turn and curtsy.

"There is a lot you don't know about me." Dylan's tone is strong.

Jax nods, "That's true…so what brings you in? It's the beginning of the month…so I don't have any reports to give you yet…but I can print one up for the week if you want?" Jax eyes Dylan. It isn't like him to come in.

Dylan shakes his head, "No that won't be necessary, brought Olivia to see Nat so I thought I'd drop in. How was last night?"

Jax's eyes widened, "Ah…good…busy. We hit capacity."

Dylan nodded, "Good. I heard you met a friend of mine. Brenda."

Jax's smile widened, he takes a deep breath, "Yeah…she was with Kelly and Donna. You guys all have known each other since high school right?"

"Yeah…12 years. We go way back, so it was a fun night then?" Dylan eyes Olivia for a moment who is still pretending she wis giving a show. Talking to herself and dancing around.

Jax smirks looking down, "Brenda…is amazing, we had good time last night." Dylan stares at him. He knows that twinkle in ones eye. He likes her. It's not a one night thing. He was afraid of this because like he thought about earlier, Jax wasn't a ladies man. Unless he was really good at leading a double life, he wasn't a full of himself bachelor.

"You like working here Jax?" Dylan tilts his head to the side and sticks his hands in his pockets. He looks at him, cool and collected.

"Of course…best job I've ever had."

"Why don't you stick to your job then…and leave Brenda be."

Jax looks at him, "Excuse me?"

"Well you see…it's Brenda…she's important to me. To _Our_ daughter." Jax looks at Olivia, his eyes widening.

He blows out his breath, "Brenda mentioned she had a daughter…so you're the father that things are complicated with?"

Dylan chuckles smart ass and steps towards him. "You know here in California…an employer doesn't have to have a reason legally…to terminate employment." he looks at him.

Jax stands speechless, he huffs, "Dylan…are you saying if…I don't stay away from Brenda…you're going to fire me?" Jax could not believe this was happening. Dylan had always been a nice guy. Jax stood tough, squaring his shoulders off to him.

Dylan smirks and shakes his head, "I didn't say that. Olivia honey…let's go meet mommy." Dylan calls out. "Keep up the good work Jax."

Olivia runs into Dylan's arms, she smiles nicely at Jax."Hi...I'm Olivia."

Jax smiles a sad smile back at her. Dylan turns to leave. Not letting Jax introduce himself back to her. "Take it easy man." Dylan calls out, Olivia looks at Jax over his shoulder and smiles at him again. She waves a sweet smile at him.

"Bye…Olivia." he said quietly as he watches them leave.

Jax's hand comes down his face as he exhales. He realizes quickly, the only woman that has captured his attention is the boss's girlfriend…old girlfriend…ex wife? He has no fucking clue. His phone lets out a ding, he reaches into his back pocket and looks down at it. He has been texting with Brenda on and off all day. The last thing he wrote her he asked her out on a date. he reads his text, seeing she has replied.

 _I have the night off tomorrow, Can I take you out to dinner?_

 _Sounds great…7?_

Jax takes a deep breath, he texts her back _, I'm so sorry…something came up. I'm gonna have to cancel._

Brenda replies right away _, No problem…hope everything is ok? Raincheck?_

 _J_ ax shakes his head, it wasn't fair. He liked Brenda. She was sweet and funny, smart and sexy, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He hadn't ever met a girl that captured his attention like she had. They clicked, they had chemistry and attraction but they could talk to one another too. He knew it would never work. Dylan obviously still had feelings for her or at least was over protective of her and Jax liked this job. It paid well and even though he didn't own the place, it had been his baby so to speak for the last few years. Jax wasn't the type to come between drama or a family.

 _Sure..I'll let you know_ , he wrote simply lying, knowing that a raincheck was unlikely.

The only girl he wanted in LA and he couldn't have her. It was weird how he really didn't know Brenda that well but wanted to get to know her. Their daughter was precious and a spitting image of her pretty mom. Jax exhales and goes back to his work. Sadly...working didn't help. He tried to focus on stocking and inventory, but all he could think about was her. Her pretty eyes and smile. The way she smelled and that kiss. It was the kind of kiss that you felt throughout your whole body. It wasn't even about sex, he could have spent the whole entire night kissing her.

Brenda had texted him a few times. He ignored them, not responding. He went home, telling the assistant manager he didn't feel well. Yes Jax hardly knew her, but he couldn't help but feel the loss of her already. He fell for her hard in one night. But she sadly was off limits.

Brenda looks at his reply. _That's weird_ , she thought. They had been texting all day. He had been talkative. Asking about her family and London. Her work and the new play she was doing. Maybe he was busy? This was the exact reason why Brenda hated texting, words had lots of meanings with no feeling or voice behind them. Sometimes words are interpreted differently. Jax had asked if it was okay to call her but Brenda had said she was working and that she would call him later. So they continued to text all day long. Brenda sets her phone into her purse and goes back to work. She had hoped everything with Jax was okay. She figured she'd give him a call later and make sure.

Brenda makes dinner for Dylan, herself and Olivia they eat keeping pleasant conversation through out. Dylan watches her, she is spending time with Olivia but every so often she check her cell. After the dishes were done, both of them tucked Olivia in bed and kissed her goodnight.

"You want to watch a movie or something?" Dylan asked in the hallway outside of Olivia's door.

Brenda looked down at her silent phone, "Um…sure…I'll be down in a minute just gonna make a quick phone call, change into comfy clothes."

Dylan smiles at her and gives her a nod as he retreats into his bedroom to do the same. Brenda pushes the door shut not caring it hasn't closed all the way. Jack had not responded to the last three texts she had sent him. "sure" on their rain checked dinner being the last time. She sat on her bed hitting Jax's number and brought it to her ear. It rang twice, then when to voicemail.

"Hey its Jax…leave me a message and I'll call you back." BEEP

"Hey Jax…it's Brenda. Hope everything is okay. I haven't heard back from you. You're probably working but give me call, I'll be up. Bye." she sadly looks down at her phone hitting end. Dylan listens in the hallway before feeling like a jerk and heading downstairs. Brenda did hope everything was okay. She didn't know Jax well but he seemed so into her. Wanting to get to know her, not doing the douche guy thing, getting your phone number and waiting days to call.

She shook her head telling herself not to jump to conclusions, it was silly. He was probably busy at the club, maybe not around his phone? Brenda knew she had weird trust issues with men and she was really trying to not think the worst. She changes into her pajamas and heads downstairs to meet Dylan. She brings her phone with her in case Jax calls as her and Dylan both settle on the couch to watch John Q, a Denzel Washington movie about a father who takes desperate measures to save his son's life after the american healthcare system will not pay for a heart transplant for his son.

The movie is remarkable and extremely sad. Brenda sobs through out the entire thing, Dylan looks at her.

"It's so sad." she cries, practically laughing at herself.

Dylan chuckles, his eyes teary themselves. "I know."

Brenda smiles as she looks over at Dylan who is far from her on the couch. Brenda trying to keep the boundaries in place.

"I picture you doing something like this. For Olivia."

Dylan laughs out loud, "What? Holding up a hospital at gun point?"

Brenda laughs too, "Well…no but just going to any length to protect her…to save her."

"I would." Dylan answers simply, he looks at her lovingly, "I would for you too."

Brenda smiles, "I know. You're a good man Dylan…a good father. You've always been honest and loyal, maybe a bit of a ladies man." Brenda chuckles and wipes her nose with tissue, "but a good man."

Dylan looks down, guilt rushes through him regarding Jax. "You're an amazing mother…I always knew you would be."

Brenda sniffs and starts to get up. "You ok with closing up? I'm so tired, that movie was emotionally exhausting." she chuckles a little. Her phone beeps and Dylan watches her quickly grab it, like she is waiting for a call or text. She visually sighs disappointed.

"Everything okay?" Dylan asks her.

Brenda looks up at him, a saddened expression her face. "Oh yeah…everything is good, just Donna, checking in. Night." it really is Donna, and sadly she kind of wishes it was someone else. Just to prove her wrong, that all guys aren't dick heads, that some actually are honest in their intentions. She passes Dylan and gently pats his shoulder, Dylan's hand covers hers for a moment before she makes her way upstairs.

Dylan exhales and looks towards the ceiling. Maybe saying something to Jax was a mistake? Obviously Jax is now avoiding her and part of his heart is happy of this fact but its also riddled with guilt.

Maybe Jax wasn't all that serious about Brenda if he chose to give up that easily? Also...he could really be busy. Dylan saw the look in his eye when he talked about her. He knows Brenda would be extremely upset and angry if she found out he said something to him. it may even be enough to move out.

"Fuck." Dylan whispers thinking about the fact that he may actually tell her. Dylan lets out a breath and shakes his head. No he won't regret it...fuck Jax. This was his family and he fully intends on winning Brenda back.

 _EEEKKKKK Dylan is BAAADDD! Tell me everything folks. Lay it on me. Next chapter...Olivia's bday party with a surprise guest and Brenda runs into Jax. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn._


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

 _Truth and Consequences_

Brenda looked over the last minute plans for Olivia's birthday party with Claire. Papers and plans littered the granite counter top. This was going to be Olivia's first big birthday party. In London they celebrated with friends and family when travel permitted but this time, Olivia had dance camp friends coming and all of Brenda and Dylan's Beverly Hills friends were coming. Brenda even had costars from the play with kids coming. This was a big deal for little Olivia!

"Your parents? Are they coming?" Claire was trying to get a count for food.

"No." Brenda sighed, "They have a present coming from Hong Kong though which my mother assured me she would love and plan to FaceTime tonight with her. Traveling from Hong Kong is such a trek, hopefully my dad plans on retiring as planned in 6 months. Maybe poor Olivia will be able to see her grandparents more than once a year." Brenda was disappointed. She understood because of the distance but Olivia was Jim and Cindy's only grandchild, you would think they would want to be around more.

"Do they know Dylan knows?" Claire smiled at Brenda causing Brenda to laugh.

"They do…my brother has a big ass mouth. My father called first thing and praised me for finally telling Dylan the truth. That was before he started trying to get information on what things were like here. You know he was so pissed about me not telling Dylan yet the first thing out of his mouth was if we were back together. He's hopeless."

Claire giggles, "Is your brother coming?" Brenda smirked at her. Claire and Brandon had flirted shamelessly with one another on every visit Brandon and Brenda had. Getting so close one day that Brenda begged Brandon…please don't sleep with my nanny. In which Brandon obliged. Brenda rolls her eyes, "Brandon is on assignment in Germany. He sent her a bike…I swear that guy spoils her rotten. I told him she was too young for a bike but assured me it was never too early to start."

"Brandon is amazing…don't talk bad about your brother." Claire smiled.

Brenda swatted at her, "You can't hook up with my brother…and besides won't Mike have a problem with it?" Brenda wiggled her eyebrows teasing Claire about her new beau. "Two weeks Claire…that's serious for you."

Claire chuckled, "Mike is." she sighs, "Abnormally perfect so far…we'll see. Have I told you how much I love LA?"

Brenda laughs, "Yeah…you have. I'm so glad."

Brenda's cell rings and she grabs it quickly. She sees the name on her home screen and takes a deep breath. "Hello?"

"Breeeeenda!" Iris drags out her name as usual.

"Hi Iris…thanks for calling me back."

"I was getting all the travel arrangements ready and was going to call you anyway. Did you move? The invitation had a different home address then your apartment?"

"Well…that's the reason I wanted to call you." Brenda sighed. She knew she had to give Iris a heads up regarding Dylan. She wasn't sure Iris would make the trip out to California for the party but she was indeed coming and she had no idea that Dylan knew about Olivia.

"Is everything alright dear?" Iris noticed the hesitation in Brenda's tone.

"About a month after I moved back to LA…I ran into Dylan."

"He's in LA?" Iris was shocked, she hadn't seen her son in over a year. She tried to call him, all her messages always went unanswered. She had heard from him over 6 months ago by email but he never mentioned moving back to LA. "Oh dear." Iris knew she had some explaining to do but her worry about herself went to the back burner as she realized he must have met Olivia.

"Oh Brenda…he knows? Oh I'm so happy!" she started to cry and Brenda teared up hearing the emotion in Iris's voice.

Brenda smiles, "He knows. He has been amazing and Olivia adores him. We moved in to his house." Brenda sat silent as Iris took it in.

"You guys are back together? Oh Brenda…this is the best news!" Iris was ecstatic.

Brenda chuckled, "No…we aren't together. Dylan wanted to spend as much time as possible with her and has picked up being a father like I had never imagined. We are just friends Iris, good friends."

Iris huffed, "Alright…we'll see how long that lasts dear."

"Iris." Brenda warned.

"I know sweetie…I know…just my own psychic guess."

Brenda shook her head. Silence came over the phone call until Iris spoke up. Her voice melancholy and anxious, "Does Dylan know I know?"

Brenda sighed, "He does which is why I wanted to tell you, ahead of time. I'm sure he'll have questions. He knows I wouldn't allow you to tell him but Iris I think it hurt him a lot." Brenda was honest. She loved Iris, she was closer to her than her own mother these days. Iris visited Brenda frequently and most people who thought Iris was out there and in the clouds, Olivia thought the world of her. She called her grammy and she loved her eccentric outlooks and Olivia though she was magical, like a fairy. They were like cosmic souls.

"Thank you Brenda. I can handle Dylan. Yes I might be in hot water but I'm so happy he knows."

"Me too Iris. So I'll see you in two days?"

"Yes sweetie! I'll be there! I wouldn't miss little Olivia's 4th birthday for the world! Be prepared, I'm bringing an extra suitcase just for her gifts."

Brenda laughed, "Great." she said less than enthused. "See you soon."

"Brenda…I love you dear. Thank you for letting me be a part of Olivia's life."

"I love you too and of course. I should have let Dylan know sooner. I know that now."

"You tried honey. See you soon sweetheart."

"Bye." Brenda said sadly.

"Bye."

Brenda closed her phone and looked up at Claire. "How did that go?"

Brenda nodded, "It went okay. Now…" Brenda exhaled, "To warn Dylan."

As if fate was reigning in Dylan and Olivia came walking into the kitchen. "Mommy!" She barreled towards Brenda, she lifts her planting kisses all over her face. Dylan smiled at both ladies as he walked in.

He pecked Brenda on the cheek, "How's the party planning?"

"I think we are about done. You ready for this party Olivia?"

"Am I ever! I LOVE parties!" she is adorably excited and it makes all three adults laugh.

"Actually Dylan…I need to talk to you about something." Brenda sets Olivia down and looks into his eyes.

"Uh oh. That doesn't sound good." He comments seeing her playful expression turn serious.

"Come on sweetie, let's get you in the bath." Claire reaches for Olivia's hand. Brenda and Dylan watch her take her upstairs.

Dylan reaches out, taking Brenda's hand in his. He looks worried, did Jax tell her? He pushes that thought aside thinking she is too calm, she would be more angry. "What's going on?"

Brenda tightens her hand in his, "Your mom is coming. She flies in the morning of the party."

Dylan looks down and take a deep breath, "Okay." he nods taking it in.

"You won't cause a scene right? I know you're angry with her Dylan but Olivia loves her grammy and it really wasn't her fault. She was just doing what I had asked."

Dylan exhales, "I know. It's fine…I'll be good."

Brenda smiles at him, she looks into his eyes and for the first time all week…she misses him. Being with him, cuddling with him, laughing with him, chatting with him…loving him. Jax had not contacted her at all since his cancelled dinner date and Brenda had too much pride to text him. She figured he was just another typical guy, that hoped for more that night they met and had maybe decided to move on to someone easier. She still thought of him though. He made her feel sexy and her age for once. Then again maybe it was just lack of sex.

"Maybe it will give you guys a chance to catch up?" Brenda tried to lighten up the mood at that moment.

Dylan looked at her, he took a deep breath, shook his head and smirked, "I know what you're doing. Always trying to push Iris and me together." He leaned in and kissed her cheek again. He lingered close to her, "Olivia calls her grammy?" he made a weird face like he couldn't picture it.

Brenda chuckled, "Your mother is amazing with her."

Dylan exhaled, "I guess I'll believe it when I see it." Brenda chuckled.

Brenda went back to looking at the party details, "I can't believe she is going to 4 years old already. Where did the time go?"

Dylan stared at the side of her face. "I don't know…it feels like we just made her." Brenda looked up and looked at him. They stared at one another. Feelings and chemistry sparking around them.

"Olivia is getting dressed but wants Daddy to brush her hair." Brenda and Dylan looked down getting interrupted. Brenda found herself very nostalgic lately. The let down of a possible something with Jax, her baby girl turning 4, Dylan being back in her life…feelings and loss hung heavy in her heart. She pushed it away.

Brenda chuckled and rolled her eyes, "Whatever." she jokes.

Dylan smiles, "It's cause I go slow and don't hurt her."

Brenda stuck her tongue out at him as he passed her. His hand gently rested on her lower back. His hand grazing her ass lightly as he gave it a gentle pat.

Claire smiles as she watches him leave the room.

"You guys are so going to do it." she says quietly.

"Oh come on." Brenda shakes her head with a smile.

"You are…so obvious. I feel turned on and hot in here just being in this sexual energy." she fans herself.

Brenda laughs and shakes her head, "You my friend are crazy and full of shit."

Claire shrugged, "Maybe sometimes…but not about this."

Brenda didn't comment as she continued to check her list of birthday duties. She couldn't help the small smile that spread on her lips knowing that Claire was so not full of shit.

It was party time at the McKay/Walsh household finally and things were all set and ready. Brenda grabbed her keys knowing she had to get over to the pit before guests started to arrive. Nat was nice enough to let them store Olivia's cake in his large refrigerator because it wouldn't fit in Dylan's. Brenda walked out onto the deck to see Dylan and Olivia already jumping in her princess jumpy. She laughed and shook her head as she walked closer to them.

"Mommy…Daddy is jumping with me."

"I see that." Brenda looked at him and laughed.

He fell to his butt out of breath, "I…think…I might have a heart attack." he breathed heavily cause Brenda to laugh harder.

"Well don't yet…I'm going to run to the pit…get the cake…but I'll be back in 15-20." Dylan climbed out of the jumpy and stood before her.

"You want me to go?" he offered.

She looked in at Olivia, "Daddy! Come back…look how high I jump." Dylan smiled at his daughter.

"No…I'll run there. I promised Nat I'd show my face in there before he headed over later."

Dylan nodded and smiled at her. They shared a moment. There daughter was turning 4. He took her hand and walked her to the deck away from Olivia.

"Bren…I know you said you just wanted to be friends and maybe it's the emotions that I feel because this is like her first birthday to me but…baby I love you. Can't we just try…try to be a family, take it slow…whatever you want? I want to be with you. I know you love me Bren…I know you do. I would never hurt you again." Brenda looked at his eyes. He had been baring his soul and for the last two days, she had thought about the same thing. They had shared moments and really hung out. They had bonded. They seemed to be in a good place but she would be lying if she hadn't wanted more.

She smiled sad smile at him, "Ok…slow Dylan…I do love you and I want to try too."

Dylan smile widened, he leaned in and hugged her tightly. "Thank you." he whispered as he buried his face in her hair.

Dylan kissed her, it was a heated kiss full of need and lust. "Thank you." Dylan whispered against her lips.

She smiled at him, as he moved in to kiss her again. "Daddy?" The two broke apart, knowing they were out of eyesight of little Olivia.

"I'll be back." Brenda whispered pecking him lightly. She giggled as he swatted her butt as she went towards the house. She turned in time to see Dylan jog happily over to Olivia again. He flopped back in the jumpy. She left for the pit with a smile on her face as the sound of Olivia giggling sounded like heaven. Her and Dylan were back together…well that was fast.

Brenda made her way into the pit. She hadn't been in. She had talked to Nat but had yet to make an appearance. She smiled as a rush of memories from the old diner filled her head.

"Brenda!" Nat was in front of her in an instant. "Look at you." they embraced each other. "I was hoping you would be the one to come. Dylan kept saying you were going to come and see me."

"I'm sorry Nat…just been so busy with Olivia and work…how are you doing?"

"Still ticking! By the way Olivia is perfection." Brenda smiled. They hugged again.

"Thanks for letting us store the cake here, I hope you're going to make it over?" She smiled at the older man she thought of as a second father growing up. He smiled back.

"Of course I wouldn't miss it. Give me a few minutes, let me grab that birthday cake."

Brenda nodded and walked up to the counter. She looked around, the place wasn't too busy this afternoon hour but still hopping as usual. She looked towards the juke box, seeing Jax looking over a clip board and drinking coffee. She stared at him, and sighed, part of her wanted to give him a piece of her mind but the other part was a little embarrassed too. I mean they had hung out one night…what did she expect from him? His head lifted at that moment and their eyes met. Brenda looked away taking a deep breath as she looked into the kitchen of the pit.

"Brenda?" Jax was standing next to her, "How are you?" he asked nicely, a hint of apprehension in his voice.

"I'm great." she looked at him. Her tone less fearful.

"I've…been meaning to call you…it's just been so busy…"

"Cut the shit Jax…come on." she shook her head. "I get it you don't have to lie."

Jax swallowed hard and exhaled, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah well me too…I mean we met at a bar…had fun, I guess I should have known better." She looked away from him. She tried to act nonchalant, I mean she barely knew this man. It didn't take away the feeling of rejection. She had liked him. She had thought he liked her too.

Silence reigned over them. "Look Brenda. I'm not a bad guy. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, I like you a lot."

Brenda looked at him, "You have a funny way of showing it."

"I just thought it was better this way." Jax wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her that he knew Dylan was the father of her daughter and about Dylan's not so hidden ultimatum but deep down Jax wasn't that type of guy. Honest yes, home wrecker no.

"I don't even know you and I'm sorry if you wanted more the other night and I know I didn't invite you in…"

"Wait a second…no…I haven't been avoiding you because you didn't invite me in." Jax exhaled, "Brenda…I'm so attracted to you, if you would have invited me in…I would of. But I was the one that stopped it. It was too soon. It was too quick no matter how much I wanted it." Jax looked down.

Nat brought the cake over at that point. Brenda rested her keys on top. She looked at Nat, "I'll see you later and thanks again." Nat smiled and gave her a nod before helping a customer at the other side of the counter. She looked at Jax, "I guess I'll see you around sometime." she said sadly.

Jax watched her leave regretful. He signed, well the time hadn't done anything for his feelings for her. He moved his fingers through his hair frustrated looking down. He should have told her. He hated the fact she thought he was avoiding her because the feelings weren't there. That was so far from the truth. Then he noticed. Brenda's black purse…sitting on the counter. He grabbed it and went catch up with her. He looked around not seeing her and not knowing what her car looked like either. Jax knew where she lived though. He knew the situation with Dylan was complicated but maybe Brenda had the right to know and choose for herself? He held on to Brenda's bag and went in to pay his tab and gather his things. He didn't want to throw away something with Brenda because of being a coward. If Dylan was to fire him, so be it. He didn't want to live with the regret of not telling her the truth and not seeing where if anything this would go.

The party was going off without a hitch. Kids ran around laughing and having fun. The adults caught up and enjoyed good food. Iris sipped her iced tea. She had been there over an hour and Dylan hadn't said anything to her. She watched him play around with Olivia in awe. He was amazing with her. She knew he would be. For the last 4 years she had kept Brenda's secret. Not because she asked but because Iris knew that it was for a reason. Dylan needed to overcome his demons, he needed to get over his dead wife. He needed to realize how important Brenda was, he needed to realize Brenda was his meant to be. She smiled as she watched him pick Olivia up and plant kisses on her tiny face. Then it was the three of them. Brenda talking to Dylan about something she couldn't hear. They looked like a family and it brought tears to her eyes. The way her son looked at both of them. How his eyes lit up at just the simple sight of his little girl. And how the sparkle of lust and love shown bright when he looked at Brenda. Iris was a intuitive person. Just looking at the three of them brought forward a sense of home and rightfulness. She watched Brenda take Olivia from Dylan in her arms, Dylan kissing her forehead sweetly. Brenda walked toward the house as she watched Dylan's eyes follow her until she was out of sight. Dylan's eyes met hers. Iris gave him a small smile and approached him.

"Hello dear." Iris stood before him.

"Iris." Dylan said short. He looked around at the company before his eyes fell on his mothers again. He sighed, he promised he wouldn't make a scene. "How was your flight?"

"It was okay." Iris swallowed hard, tears falling from her eyes, "I'm sorry Dylan."

Dylan shrugged, "For what? Keeping the fact I had a daughter from me? Or choosing to stay loyal to Brenda over me?"

Iris looked down before making eye contact with him again, "For both."

"Great." Dylan breathed out. He understood but it didn't change his feelings being hurt. He knew he wasn't the best son over the years. He knew he was lost and damaged but a mother is suppose to always have your back. To love you unconditionally. Dylan didn't feel that…he felt abandoned by her again.

"I tried to tell you once. A few years ago. I was ready to face Brenda's wrath because in my heart I knew she wanted you to know. I called you and you were high. You were higher than a kite and you hung up on me. I decided that maybe you not knowing was for the best."

Dylan huffed out a laugh, "Oh I see so it's my fault."

"No baby…it's not that. You had to be ready for this Dylan. Brenda might have decided to keep this from you because she was hurt by you but I decided to because you needed to get well. To clean yourself up because you and I both know you have one more chance with Brenda. I know in your heart you will always love her. She is it for you but it wasn't the right time before. I'm sorry I let you down son. It wasn't my intention. I just look at that little girl and see you when you were just a little boy. Full of life and innocence. I know what your father and I did to you over the years Dylan, I just didn't want the same for her. We were both emotional no shows to you, I didn't want that for Olivia."

Dylan looked at his mom, he wiped his eyes quickly trying to not show his emotions to his guests. "I love you son and I hope someday you'll forgive me." Iris smiled a sad smile at him as she walked away. He took a deep breath and made eye contact with Kelly. She gave him an are you okay smile, which he answered with a nod. Kelly was well aware by now the on and off relationship Dylan had with his mother. She didn't know more than Brenda though…no one knew more than Brenda.

Brenda helped Olivia in the restroom. She handed her a small towel after she washed her little hands hearing the door bell ring. She hurried to the door thinking it was a late arrival, Olivia trailing behind her. She opened the door surprised at the sight staring back at her.

"Hey." Jax smiled. He awkwardly looked down before making eye contact.

Brenda looked at him, confusion ran over her face, "Wh…what are you doing here?"

"You left your purse." he held up the small black clutch.

"JAX!" Olivia made her self known as she stood next to her mother. "You came to my birthday party?" she said excitedly.

Brenda looked at her daughter, then back at Jax, how the hell did these two know each other? He smiled down at Olivia, "Hey pretty girl…I didn't know it was your birthday, I would have brought you something…Happy birthday!"

"Well…you're here…and you can have cake…and jump on the jumpy…and and."

"Wait…you guys know each other?" Brenda asked dumbfounded.

Jax looked at Brenda, nervousness in his eyes but this is why he came. He liked her and she deserved to know why he hadn't contacted her. "Jax is my new friend mama…I danced on the stage…it was like my own stage." Brenda shook her head confused, what stage?

"Um…Olivia go out back and join your party, let mommy talk to Jax for a second."

"Okay mommy…bye Jax." Olivia smiled at him. She watched her mother and Jax stand nervously as she made her way back at to her party.

Brenda crossed her arms, "What the hell is going on? How do you know my daughter?"

Jax took a deep breath, he handed her the purse. "Dylan…came by the After Dark with her."

"When?" Brenda said shocked.

"The day after we met. He came by to check on things and she was with him."

"Dylan…came by the After Dark with Olivia to check on the club and he introduced you?" Brenda knew she was repeating herself, but even after Dylan and herself had that conversation about Jax it was fishy he would all of a sudden go into the club.

"Well…introduced me not really. You're daughter is a sweet little thing. She introduced herself but no Dylan didn't introduce us…it was more to show her off I think, when you said you had a daughter…you didn't tell me Dylan was her father."

Brenda exhaled and looked into the house. She grabbed the front door knob and closed it behind her and joined Jax on the porch. "I know…I'm sorry about that but we had just met. I didn't know what was going to happen. I know it wasn't fair because you know Dylan and everything…it just wasn't something that I come out and tell people. Besides…I guess it didn't matter much, it's not like you were serious in seeing me again or anything." Brenda stared into his eyes, hurt showing through her facade.

Jax shook his head, "I wanted to call you. I wanted to call you everyday. I wanted to see you again the moment I woke up the next morning. I didn't want to cancel our date, it was complicated."

Brenda crossed her arms again, "Then why did you? Because I didn't tell you who my daughters dad was?"

Jax looked down, "I didn't want to come between the two of you, he's my boss Brenda and he still cares for you."

Brenda froze, she looked at him. Brenda wasn't stupid, how was her name brought into this in the first place, how did he know so much? "Wait a second…what did Dylan say exactly?"

Jax swallowed hard, "Nothing." he lied.

"Jax…I swear to god…what did he say to you? How did you even know Olivia was my daughter and not just Dylan's?" her hands came to her hips.

Jax didn't want to lie, Brenda might not want to start anything with him but this wasn't him. He stood silent. "Fine…I'll just go ask him?" She went to move to open the door and Jax grabbed her hand. He held it tightly, feeling the electricity again he had missed so much this past week. His thumb caressed her hand softly. He stepped closer to her. He couldn't help it.

"Jax…please tell me." she whispered. Brenda feeling the chemistry flow between them too.

He looked deeply into her eyes, "Dylan came by. Him and Olivia had lunch at the pit and he claimed he was coming to check on the club." Jax shrugged, "I should have known something was up because Dylan never comes in. I print out monthly reports for him but it's not a regular thing for him to visit." Jax looks down before looking into her eyes again, Brenda listening intently. "He asked me how my the night was, then he mentioned you. That he had heard I met a friend of his. That's how you came up."

Brenda nodded, "I see. Well I'm sorry it was weird for you. I get it now why you cancelled and everything. I would have told you, if you hadn't cancelled our date…I would have been upfront with you. You didn't have to ignore me, you could have just told me it was weird for you. I thought maybe you didn't like me or had changed your mind, I guess it doesn't matter anymore."

Jax shook his head, "Brenda." he whispered. "I didn't know what to do. I was caught off guard. I didn't know how things were with the two of you and if finding out was worth losing my job over."

Brenda chuckled, "It's not like Dylan would have fired you. He isn't like that. You could have been honest with me. I thought you were different but you just proved to be like any other guy. Thanks for bringing my purse back. I should get back to my daughter's party." Brenda let his hand go and exhaled clearly still disappointed.

"Brenda please." Jax begged. She turned around, hand on the door knob and looked into his eyes.

Jax stared at her, he shook his head, "Brenda he told me to stay away from you, he threatened to fire me if I didn't"

"HE WHAT?" Anger coursing through her body. That son of a bitch. "He threatened to fire you?" her voice still raised. Brenda couldn't believe it, after their discussion of being honest with each other about dating and her telling him she liked him. He went to the club…with Olivia mind you, to threaten him?

"Look Brenda…I like you. I like you a lot and I'm not used to the feelings that I'm having for you. I thought I could let you go but seeing you today…and how hurt you were that I didn't contact you again…I guess what I'm trying to say is…I don't care. I don't care about Dylan or if he wants to fire me. I care what you think of me more than that job. I'm not a douche bag Brenda…you have to know I have been thinking about you everyday this whole week. What could have been…that kiss…if you thought about me?" His hand came to her face and Brenda melted into him. "If you and Dylan are working things out…that's okay…but I couldn't let you think that I didn't want to see you again." he leaned in at that moment and kissed her. His lips closing sensually around hers. His tongue lightly grazing her own. Brenda's eyes remained closed as she breathed out as he separated their lips. Her whole body limp and heated. "I'm gonna go…if you want to go on that date…the offer still stands. Call me." he whispered against her lips. He pecked her gently one last time as he turned and walked down he porch steps and towards his car. Brenda stared at his back. Her belly full of butterflies, her lips tingling from the electricity. He turned one last time to look at her. His small smile was cute and sexy, then he was out of sight.

Brenda swallowed hard, everything that had just been said coming over her. It took her out of her kissed senseless high as she turned towards the door. She huffed pissed off at Dylan sticking his nose into her business. She squared her shoulders, ready to face him as she opened the front door to join their daughters birthday party.

 _Oh fuck…Dylan is in big big trouble. Brenda will not make a scene at the party. But things will be a lot different between them for the remainder of it. Also poor Dylan…which lets face it guys kind of deserves whats coming to him a little but he thinks Brenda and him are about to start a new. They practically got back together. He is in for a rude awakening. Things just got a lot harder for Dylan. Next up their confrontation...FaceTime with Jim and Cindy...and Brandon and Dylan talk._


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

 _Losing My Religion Again_

Brenda heads back to the birthday party. As she walks into the back yard she stops on the deck and looks out. People are having a good time. She hears children's laughter, adults laughing and socializing. She has to hold in her anger until later. This was her daughters 4th birthday party. She can't make a scene even though the anger that courses through her is on high. Her eyes meet Dylan's he smiles at her giving her a wink. She stares at him hard, breathing out of her nose slowly trying to calm her nerves. His eyebrows furrow noticing her demeanor from even 15 feet away. His head tilts to the side as he looks at her, as he studies her, tried to read her from afar. He knows something is up. The guilt eats at him and in that very moment he realizes right away, Brenda knows. Brenda knows about Jax.

"Great party Bren." Brenda looks to the right. The familiar voice breaking her stare down.

Brenda sighs and gives her a genuine smile, "Thanks Kel. Can I get you anything? A refill?" Brenda looks down at Kelly's almost gone glass of white wine.

Kelly studies her, she hasn't been close to Brenda in many years but Brenda isn't her normal self. "I'll get it…are you okay?"

Brenda exhales again and looks at her old friend, silence falling around them for a minute, "I am…thanks Kelly." her hand goes sweetly to her upper arm as she rubs it gently, she smiles sadly. She doesn't feel okay at that moment but it isn't the time to get into anything. Kelly gets the hint she isn't going to explain and goes to get a refill. Brenda's eyes find Dylan's again. He holds Olivia in his arms still looking her way. Dylan swallows hard knowing the confrontation that will come eventually. He knows Brenda well enough to know, it won't come here, in front of everyone and for that he is grateful.

Brenda socializes as much as possible with her guests, she tries to keep her distance from Dylan, who seems to be doing the same. Soon it is time to do cake and the separation is about to end. Dylan carries the big sheet cake to the table as the guests start to gather around. Olivia sits at the head, her smile wide as Brenda put 4 candles in the center of her Disney princess cake. Conversation flows around them normally. Dylan's hand comes slowly around Brenda's waist. Her first reaction is to back away but instead she looks up at him. If looks could kill.

"Don't." she says lowly, stern. She looks around the table. She notices there are eyes on them. Kelly, Donna, David, Steve and Iris looking at them smiling in anticipation of the cake.

"Baby…come on." Dylan whispers close to her ear.

Brenda moves away, Dylan's arm falling from her waist dramatically, "Shoot…forgot matches." she smiles and puts on her best actress face as she runs into the kitchen to grab matches, which she already had in her pocket.

She exhales loudly both hands on the counter. She is so angry, but she doesn't know exactly why. Sure what Dylan did was shitty but she is livid with him. She doesn't like things done behind her back. Jax was a nice guy so far and hadn't deserved to be bullied by Dylan. This was the adult Dylan that wasn't her favorite characteristic. Dylan was used to getting what he wanted. She knew he wasn't opposed to winning by intimidation, especially if he's the one doing the intimidating. She has seen this side of him in London. Dylan may act like a normal down to earth guy but the truth is, Dylan is just as spoiled and selfish as all of them are. She takes slows breaths to calm herself.

"Bren?" Dylan stands in the kitchen, his hands in his pockets. "Did you find the matches?" his voice testing the waters, too sweet.

Brenda stands up straight and huffs, she smacks her hand on the counter leaving the matches there, "How could you?" she seethes. Her voice low, her teeth clenched.

Dylan sighs and walks closer to her, "Who told you? Did that ass tell on me?"

Brenda's hand comes up, "Oh no…you don't get to call him names. The only ass I see here is you." she points at him. "How could you do that to me? I thought it was me this whole time…I thought I had done something wrong."

Dylan shakes his head, "How could I do that? Brenda…you know why I did it. I finally got you back in my life. You think I'm going to sit here and let that guy take you away from me…my daughter?"

"Woah…you're the one that brought her by the club…she knows him now because of you!" Their voices are raised. "I had told you I wasn't going to have Olivia spend time with him unless it got serious, we talked about it! You still went behind my back and bullied him." Brenda barks out.

Dylan shook his head with a smirk, "Is that what he told you…I bullied him, what a pussy?"

Brenda fumes with anger, she walks close to him, her voice stern and direct, her finger pointed at him, "You threatened to fire him if he didn't leave me alone, that's bullying. You used your power to intimate him! My personal life isn't your business, who I talk to isn't your business…we haven't been together in over 5 years Dylan. I can date or see whoever I want. What have you been doing for the last 5 years huh? How many women have you had your dick in in the last 5 years?" Brenda's teeth clenched, "Probably hundreds…you know how many men I've been with since you left me?" She shouted, "TWO! she yelled, "I have been with 2 men in 5 years while you have slept with everything in a skirt! And you think you have the right to dictate who I see!" Tears spilled over as she shakes with anger. "You left me broken and drowning, alone and pregnant!" She sobs loudly.

"I didn't know you were pregnant!" He argued back.

"That's cause whatever skank you were banging decided not to tell you I called!" Brenda yelled loudly.

Guilt surrounds Dylan as he looks at her hurt face. His eyes cast down towards his feet ashamed. _Fucking Gina._

"Guys?" Kelly stands in the entrance of the kitchen awkwardly. She swallows hard hearing most of their fight. "Olivia is getting restless. I'm so sorry to interrupt…but…" Kelly bites her lip feeling badly, her head tilting in sympathy trying to nonchalantly hint that their guests can probably hear them. Along with their daughter.

Brenda shakes her head frustrated and sighs coming back to reality, getting the hint, "Thanks Kel." she grabs the matches and storms out.

Dylan looks at Kelly, "What did you do?" she whispered already knowing. "Oh Dylan." she breaths disappointed. He watches her shake her head and move to join the party.

Dylan sighs out frustrated, taking his hand roughly down his face. He pulls himself together in that moment and goes to watch his only daughter, blow out her candles for the first time but he stays far away from Brenda.

The party winds down after Olivia opened her presents. Iris had been honest she gave her literally a suitcase full of dresses, sandals, bathing suits and sunglasses. Taking full advantage of the stores in Hawaii and spoiling her with hot weather clothes now that Olivia lives in sunny California. She also had given her a pretty necklace with protection crystals dangling around it that was given to Iris by her own mother Olivia. To Dylan's surprise the loads of gifts also included a few books that belonged to Dylan when he was a little boy. Dylan was so touched that Iris had even kept them, he had no idea Iris had anything from his childhood. The one good thing about Dylan and Brenda ignoring each other was that Iris had time to spend with Dylan. Everyone had left but the gang in which were still around hanging out back. Dylan sat on his couch, watching Olivia and Maddie play with some of her new toys. Iris sat on the opposite couch watching her son's mind work in circles silently.

"Dylan? What's going on with you and Brenda?" she finally asks knowing they were alone, besides the little girls, who were too intrigued by fun.

Dylan looks over at his mom with sad eyes and sighs, "I messed up…but what's new." he said looking back at Olivia.

Iris gets up and moves slowly sitting next to him, "I know I'm not your favorite person right now but…Brenda loves you. She has always loved you. She has always forgiven you…just give her time…she'll come around." she tells him not knowing exactly what is happening.

Dylan looks at Iris, he shakes his head, "Not if she is dating someone else." he puts simply. Normally Dylan wouldn't have divulged anything about his personal life to his mom but it had just fell out of his mouth.

Iris smiles and shakes her head, "Please…you and Brenda share a love so pure and true no one can break that. You know this. Anyone that comes in between you is a place holder, that's all they ever will be."

"I don't know…she is pretty pissed. What I intended to do was simply stake my claim but I'll I did was push her towards him."

Iris shook her head again, "Dear…how many years did Brenda have to see you with Kelly?" Dylan looks at her. Surprised she is bringing Kelly up. He shakes his head looking down with a sigh.

"So…you think I deserve this?" He utters guiltily.

"No." she shook her head, "I'm saying that people come into your life for a reason, to teach lessons, to experience some higher meaning that life has for you. Maybe that's what this new guy is."

"So what am I suppose to do? Watch it happen…watch her possibly fall in love with someone else?" Dylan could not believe he was talking to Iris like this.

Iris gave him a sad smile, "You wait son. Just like she did." Dylan sighs not happy with the advice. "Because when all is said and done…nothing can break a soul bond between twin flames. Not another person or time apart, not even lifetimes. Your souls are connected and no matter how much Brenda is pushing her heart towards someone else. It won't be long before the heart routes her back." Dylan stares at Iris. Did he believe the mumbo jumbo she was saying…maybe…but he would never tell her that.

"Grammy?" Both Iris and Dylan turn towards Olivia. "I have to go potty."

"Okay sweetheart come with grammy." Iris gets up and holds out her hand.

Dylan chuckles and shakes his head, "Grammy huh? Was that your idea? I still can't picture it even when it's right in front of my face." Iris laughs.

"Well…it was Olivia's doing. She told me I was her grammy and Cindy was her gigi. So we wouldn't get confused when she talked to one of us." Iris smiled Dylan's eyebrows raised still apprehensive. His mother didn't even look like a grandma…she barely looked like a mother, she never acted like one. "Think what you want son…I may not have been put on this earth to be a mother…but I was made to be a grammy." Iris smiled brightly looking down at her granddaughter lovingly.

Dylan chuckles and shakes his head as he watches Iris take Olivia to the bathroom. He sighs and thinks about Brenda. He knows they are connected. He doesn't have to hear Iris's eccentric outlook on life to know this. He just hopes she won't find a deeper connection with Jax.

Brenda cleans the kitchen counter staying busy. She knows she still has guests but she was still so furious she was having a hard time sitting there pretending everything was hunky dory.

"Hey Bren." Kelly made her way into the kitchen, Donna and Janet by her side. "You need help?" she offers.

Brenda shakes her head, "No…I'm good. You guys enjoy yourself. Someone should be." Brenda looks up at her new and old friends not holding back anymore. They smile at her and come in, taking a seat at the counter.

"Brenda…I know we haven't talked in years. I feel bad about that I truly do. I also know…we all know how Dylan is." Kelly says with a small nod. Brenda looks at the girls, Donna and Janet nodding with agreement.

Brenda tosses the sponge gently, "I just can't believe he did that. What gives him the right? Like he's been an angel in the 12 years I have known him."

Kelly smirks and shakes her head, "Brenda…he is so far from perfect it's almost funny."

"Yeah…Dylan has taken life as a bachelor to a whole new level." Donna agreed. "Brenda…we all know he loves you. We all knew it before you even moved to town."

"But he's hurt you." Janet added. "I just met you and I feel like we've been friends forever. You deserve to be happy too. I know how hard it is to raise a child. I don't know of your life in London but I do know what it's like to be a mom. A young mom. There isn't a ring on your finger, so at this point in your life, you should get out there and experience it."

Brenda looks at the girls one by one, "Are you all team Jax?" she asks interested.

The girls laugh, "No…first we're team Brenda." Donna says with a wink. "Then team Dylan for the long hall, team Jax for right now." The girls giggle.

"Even you?" Brenda smiles looking at Kelly. Brenda knows Kelly and Dylan are close. There is also a part of her that is wondering if she is pushing Jax because she doesn't want her with Dylan.

Kelly laughs, "Especially me, Jax is hot and Dylan isn't going anywhere, that boy loves you, he's never gotten over you."

Brenda smiles and looks down shyly. "Besides…there is nothing wrong with sewing some oats before settling down with who you are meant to be with." Donna's eyebrows raise and a naughty expression comes over her face.

"Oh yes…he is amazingly sexy." Janet says honestly.

The girls laugh loudly. Brenda smiles, "Thanks guys. it's really really good to be home."

"It's really really good to have you home Bren." Kelly smiles back. "But." she crosses her arms with a shake of her head, "You tell Dylan I'm team get Jax into bed…I'll deny it."

The giggles from the girls spreads to the living room. Dylan's head turns towards the noise. It sounds like Brenda is calming at least. He knows the conversation isn't over but he also knows Brenda well enough to know…the longer she calms, the better that conversation will be.

Soon everyone is gone and Olivia's birthday party has come to an end. Brenda turns on her laptop and gets it ready to receive a Skype call from her parents. She doesn't have to wait long as she hits accept quickly and Jim and Cindy's face appears on the screen.

"Hey honey." Cindy says with a smile as Jim smiles widely.

"Hey guys…how's Hong Kong?"

"It's good…getting hot. It was 90 degrees yesterday." Jim makes a face.

Brenda sticks her tongue out, "Yuck…it's 75 and gorgeous here in Beverly Hills as usual." she rubs it in.

"Oh I miss that. Jim did you ever think I would have ever said that?"

Jim chuckles, "No…I promised your mother we would come back to California once I retire." Jim playfully rolled his eyes.

"When are you planning on retiring daddy?" Brenda asks hopeful, "Olivia and I sure miss you guys."

Cindy purses her lips sadly, "Your father is retiring in January as promised or he will be receiving divorce papers." she jokes which makes Jim and Brenda laugh.

"You heard her dad. She sounds serious."

"No doubt." Jim smiled.

"Oh I'm dead serious. Speaking of my only gorgeous granddaughter where is she? Did she have a fun birthday party?"

Dylan holds Olivia in his arms, eavesdropping on the call and makes himself known at that moment.

"She had a great time. Here she is." Dylan hands her over and Olivia makes herself at home on Brenda's lap.

"Gigi! Grandpa!." Olivia beams.

"Happy Birthday!" Cindy lights up.

"Happy birthday sweetheart." Jim gushes.

Dylan observes Jim and Cindy's faces both light up with delight. He realizes how long it's been since he's seen them. He is in camera view but only smiles seeing them cascade with happiness.

"Hi Dylan." Cindy waves with a smile.

"How are you doing son?" Jim smirks happy to see him.

Dylan stands to the side, hands in his pockets, he smiles back and nods, "Good…I'm real good sir. You guys look well. It's really good to see you both." He says warmly.

Cindy's smile widens, She hums happily, "Not as good as it is to see you and this little perfect angel. Tell Gigi what you got for your birthday." Cindy gushed again listening intently as Olivia fills her in.

Brenda looks up at Dylan. He stares into her eyes, begging for forgiveness. Brenda takes a deep breath staring back at him. Yes Dylan is a jerk sometimes, but she loves the stupid jerk. She can't allow herself to get swept away again. At the beginning of this day she was all for starting fresh with him but at the end of the day. Dylan couldn't take away the past and she quickly realizes she can't allow herself to get hurt by him again.

The Walsh's, Brenda and Olivia talked on Skype for a good 20 minutes when finally they hang up. Jim and Cindy had sent Olivia her very own play kitchen for her birthday. Dylan had promised to put it together the following day. Cindy was right, Olivia loved it and couldn't wait to be like mommy and cook in her kitchen. As Brenda and Dylan silently tuck Olivia into bed, it wasn't long before the little birthday girl passed out from the day's events. As they both quietly close her door, Dylan speaks up.

"Can we talk? Downstairs?" Brenda looks at him. She wasn't sure she was ready but knew it had to be done. She nodded accepting it was now or never as she followed him down the stairs.

They both took seats next to each other on the couch. Silence and hesitation thick in the air around them until Dylan speaks up first again.

"I'm sorry."

Brenda looks down and sighs. "It wasn't your business to get involved." she pushes her point.

"See that's where you're wrong. I'm not proud of what I did Bren…but you have to know that I have lived without you for 5 years. I couldn't let this guy come in and sweep you off your feet. I know it was wrong, but I'm not regretful. The one thing I haven't done well in my years of being with you…was fight for you and I'm doing that now."

Brenda swallows hard. "I know why you did it Dylan. It just wasn't fair. I spent many years being your friend. Looking the other way when you were with Kelly. Hearing about Toni…then I had you back but only because she died." Dylan shook his head disagreeing. Brenda continues, "We had a beautiful magic love. The kind that's indeed beautiful but sad and tragic too. It always seems like we never get our timing right."

Dylan grabs her hand, "Don't you think the timing is right now?"

Brenda grips his hand tightly, "I guess I don't." Dylan looks down. "Dylan." she breathes. "I have been in love with you since the moment I met you. When we broke up and you went off with Kelly I was broken. That situation changed me and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish that it was different."

"I'm sorry." Dylan whispers.

"I know you are." Brenda nods. "But then we got back together and I honestly thought that was it. It was our time. I didn't need a ring on my finger but I thought we were forever."

"I did too." Dylan whispered back.

Brenda shook her head, "No…you didn't. I had to learn to lose you all over again, with a constant reminder in our daughter that our love existed." Brenda's voice broke. "I know you don't like that I was into someone else. But I lived my life loving you and getting hurt by you and I just don't think I can lose you again."

"You won't." Dylan begged, "I promise." His voice broke.

"Dylan…I love you…I'll always love you…but I need to get out there and experience life. Here we are almost out of our twenties and I feel like I never experienced a life without loving you or being broken by you."

Dylan's hand comes to her cheek, "That's because we are meant to be Bren. We're connected…not only by a daughter but our hearts…souls. Seeing another guy…isn't going to make it go away. I see what you're doing but the truth is we gave each other our hearts years ago. Going out with Jax isn't going to take that away." He sensually covers her lips with his, opening them around them gently. Brenda closes her eyes, tears falling down her cheeks hitting his. "Please…don't do this." he whispers against her lips, emotion overflowing from his words.

"If we're meant to be together time will tell." She whispers back. Using words he once said to her.

Dylan sighs shaking his head, "Brenda no…no, don't break it off with me, I just got you back."

Brenda stares at him sadly. His face brought her back to a time…in the Porsche, at the beach when she broke up with him the first time. His eyes pleading with her not to leave him, Losing my Religion blasting through the stereo. Brenda felt 16 years old all over again. Confused and hurt.

"Dylan…I'm sorry." she pleads tears in her eyes. "I just can't do this."

Dylan faces forward and sighs. He shakes his head holding back tears. Both hands coming down his face roughly. "I'm sorry." Brenda whispers again. She leans in and gently kisses his cheek. He isn't even looking at her as she looks at his sad face. Brenda nods once getting the feeling maybe she should leave this where it's at. She gets up quietly and goes up to her bedroom where she has a good cry. Dylan has left her twice, but her being the dumper this time doesn't feel that much better.

Dylan's elbows come to his knees as he stares at the ground. He's mad at himself for the Jax thing. She was so close to being his again. He literally had her right in his arms and now they were empty again. A ring from a cell phone gets his attention. It's Brenda's phone, the name flashing across it is Brandon. He reaches for it bringing it to his ear.

"Hello." Dylan answers.

"Dylan? Hey man…how are you?" Brandon's voice is happy but apprehensive, was Dylan going to yell at him for not telling him about Olivia?

"Bran…where are you?"

Brandon is quiet for a moment, "Is everything okay…where's Bren?" his voice anxious.

"No…no she's here…she's fine…Olivia is fine. She went to bed she just didn't bring her phone with her. B where are you?"

"Germany…But I'm heading back to Washington tomorrow. Why? Dylan are you alright?" Brandon has a feeling there is something going on.

"No." Dylan breaths, "I have to get out of here." Dylan is honest.

"What…what do you mean? Dylan what's going on?" Now Brandon is worried. He feels so far away.

"Nothing…nothing is going on. It's good to hear your voice bro."

"You too." Silence fills the phone call. "Dylan don't bail." is all Brandon says.

"Look Bran…I'll let Bren know you called. Have a safe flight to Washington. We'll talk soon." Dylan says short.

"Alright…take it easy brother. Give Olivia a birthday kiss for me." Brandon knows this feeling he has in his gut. He knows something is going on he just doesn't know what.

"Will do…Take care Brandon."

"Dylan?" Brandon hears the click of the phone. He looks down at it and sighs. He knows Dylan…he knows Dylan well enough to know what's coming next. The tone in his voice, his mind running in circles…the walls of protection coming up…He's running away.

 _EEEEEK Hit review my beautiful people. Is Brandon wrong? Is Dylan bailing…but where? Any guesses? Thanks for your support and patience. Love you all!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

 _The Little Kitchen_

Dylan shoves clothes into his duffel bag. He looks at the clock, it's almost midnight. The conversation and overwhelming feeling of rejection fresh in his heart. He has to get away. He has to think or not think. He feels like he doesn't know exactly how to handle this situation with Brenda. He knows it's an asshole move…running away…but frankly Dylan doesn't know another way. He's always done it. He also knows he loves his daughter. He loves her more than anything and anybody and he never knew that kind of love even existed until now. He won't be gone forever, he just needs some time to sort through his feelings.

Dylan grabs his bag and hoists it over his shoulder. He walks into the hallway dropping his bag outside of Olivia's room. He gently and silently turns the knob, pushing the door open with a creak. The sight in front of him is not one that he expected. Brenda lay on Olivia's bed with her. The two girls cuddled together sweetly. Dylan walks in and kneels down on the side Brenda is laying on. She is sound asleep holding on to their daughter like only a mother could. He stares at her, he knows her face well enough to know she had been crying. He has lost her what feels like a million times. This time feels the worse for some reason. Dylan knows he might have ruined any chance at being a couple with her for good and he can't even look at her. This woman has been his angel, his savior, his heart, his downfall for so many years. Things had never felt this final before. He stands up and leans over slowly. His lips brush her forehead lovingly as his eyes squeeze shut, taking her scent in. His head tilting to the side taking in her perfect face. Dylan's thumb comes up and wipes a stray tear he wasn't even aware had formed before heading to the other side of the bed and sitting down. He stares at his daughter. A little version of Brenda and himself, an image of pure perfection. He wonders briefly if she is better off without him but knows in his heart he is too selfish to even test that theory. He leans down placing his cheek gently on hers. His eyes close as he inhales her perfect scent. His nose running into her hair. She smells of watermelon and innocence and it's the best smell in the world. As he leans up his hand pushes back her hair. He plants a soft kiss on her forehead and gets up to leave. He looks at his girls one last time before closing the door behind him, grabbing his bag and heading out.

Brenda wakes with a yawn as she stretches slightly. Her legs feeling stiff from being squished in Olivia's small bed. She smiles down at her little face taking her in. She's 4 years old, where did the time go? It felt like just yesterday she was up for 3 am feedings. She raises her wrist and looks at her watch noting the time. She has to be at the theater at 8 and she realizes she only has an hour to get ready. She leaves Olivia sleeping soundly and goes to her bedroom and gets ready for the day. Soon Brenda is dressed and ready as she sips her coffee in the kitchen. She notices her cell phone sitting on the counter, a post it note attached to it. It reads… _Call your brother._ Brenda picks it up knowing the handwriting is from Dylan. She sees she has a voice message but Olivia barrels through the kitchen with way too much energy for 7:45 in the morning.

"Hey sweet girl." Brenda smiles, forgetting her message for the moment. She hugs her tightly. "I'm gonna be late…go wake up daddy because I have to get going." Brenda kisses her cheek and stands up.

"He's not there." Olivia says simply.

"What do you mean he isn't there?" Brenda asks the 4 year old like she knows something. Olivia shrugs unaffected.

"He's not home. Daddy isn't in his room." she explains.

Brenda looks to the wall with confusion. Where the hell is he? She sighs, "Ok get your stuff ready." Olivia goes to collect her things and Brenda heads up stairs.

"Dylan?" she calls out as she stands at his bedroom door. It's open, his bed made and not slept in. She walks into the bedroom looks into the closet then the bathroom, "Dylan?" she calls him again. No sign of him at all. "What the hell?" she murmurs and goes back down the stairs. She looks at Olivia oblivious as she eats a granola bar she must have fetched herself and grabs her phone. She calls Dylan first…straight to voicemail. Brenda growls frustrated, he knew she had to work today. She always has rehearsals on Sunday. She dials Claire next hoping she is available. No answer. She is beyond confused and frustrated when she calls the theater. She talks to the stage manger telling him she is running late but she hopes to be there soon and starts desperately calling people. Steve and Janet answer but they decided to head to Disneyland with Maddie this morning so they are already in Anaheim. Donna is working at her store, David is sleeping from working his radio show over night. She is about to call Kelly when she practically palms her head realizing Iris is in town. She calls the hotel and soon Iris is on her way to stay with Olivia for the day thankfully.

Brenda takes a deep breath as her mind comes back to Dylan. Where the hell is he? She briefly wonders if he left early to surf, then she fears…what if something happened to him? She remembers her voice message and grabs her phone hastily. Her heart beating wildly out of her chest, fearful. She dials her voicemail and listens.

"Hey Bren." it's Dylan. "I'm sorry…I had to get out of there. You say you don't think you can lose me again…well I know I can't. Kiss Olivia for me. My home is your home." click.

Brenda is frozen. She looks down at her phone in shock. "Mother fucker." she breathes.

"Mommy…don't say that!" Olivia is mortified.

Brenda's eyes fall on her daughter, "Sorry baby." she apologizes for her slip. Olivia doesn't seem too concerned as she plays with one of her dolls. Brenda's heart breaks as she looks at her. Brenda was used to this. She was used to this hole that would open up when it came to Dylan…but Olivia did not. She realized in that moment…her greatest fear was she would find out and it looked like that's exactly what was happening.

Brenda's mind was mush during rehearsal. She got there 20 minutes late and seemed to already be on the directors shit list for the day. When it finally ended she was relieved. As she got into her car she broke down finally letting herself feel. Damn him. He promised, he promised he wouldn't bail, he promised her and Olivia. She tried calling him again but didn't leave a message. What was she going to tell their daughter? Where did he go? Was he gone for good? With Dylan you never know. Last time he up'd and left Beverly Hills he came to London for 3 years. She quickly realized who may know where he was but even that was slight. She called Kelly, who answered after two rings.

"Hey Bren?" Kelly said chipper.

"Hey Kel." Brenda's tone not as happy.

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know." Brenda sighs, "Do you know where Dylan is?"

Silence for a moment, "No…why?" Kelly says confused.

Brenda sighs loudly, "Olivia and I got up this morning, his bed didn't even look slept in, I had to find someone to watch Olivia while I was at rehearsal. He's gone Kel. No note…just a voice mail saying he had to get out of there. Do you think he went to Baja or something? I mean you guys are close…I thought maybe he would have told you."

Kelly breathes out disappointed, "Stupid jerk." she says out loud more to her self. "Probably." she answers truthfully. "But who knows. Bren." Kelly exhales into the phone again, "Me and Dylan are close friends but he's still Dylan. It's not like I know where he is at all the time. We meet up for coffee every week on Doheny and check in with each other but like I said Dylan is Dylan. Baja is a good guess though."

Brenda sighs, "I knew this would happen." she says quietly.

"I'm sorry Bren." Kelly says feeling badly.

"I know…me too." Brenda wipes a silent tear.

"Do you need any help with Olivia?" Kelly asks offering her time.

"Maybe." Brenda answers simply. "Claire has classes a few times a week now but I have tomorrow off. I'll call you?" Brenda asks hopeful.

"Of course…anytime Bren." Kelly takes a deep breath.

"If you hear from him…"

Kelly interrupts, "Oh…don't you worry about that. He'll hear from me." Brenda chuckles even though her heart was still breaking. Silence fills the phone. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will…thanks Kelly." Brenda hit end on her call. She turned the key in the ignition starting her car and makes her way back home. To her daughter, the most important person in her life.

Brenda was happy she had Iris there. She would only be in town for a few days but she was amazing with Olivia who loved her dearly. She didn't get to see her that often in person so she wanted to do everything for her. Playing, bath time, reading books, tucking her in. Brenda was relieved because the more she looked at Olivia the more she thought about Dylan. Especially when Olivia kept asking where Daddy was? When he was coming home to put together her kitchen? Brenda was running out of excuses and lies. After Iris had put Olivia to bed she walks down the stairs and finds Brenda sitting on the floor in the living room . She looks at her, tears running down Brenda's face as she throws a plastic piece of the kitchen. She had parts all around her, directions in her lap.

"Fuck this thing." she says quietly.

Iris chuckles, "Dear…why are you doing that now at this hour?" Iris finding the cussing hilarious.

Brenda gave her a sad smile and shook her head, she wipes her tears a little embarrassed. "I thought maybe…Olivia would stop asking for him if she woke up to this being put together." She held up a long piece of plastic, "But damn it it's not easy."

Iris smile fades as she walks closer to her and sits facing her on the couch. She looks at her, "He has never been an easy guy to love."

"You're telling me." Brenda set down the part and sighed.

"But we sure do don't we?" Iris observes her, a conversation the two of them had years ago coming to the forefront, Brenda's eyes meeting hers remembering before looking down into her lap. "He loves you Brenda, he loves you so much he doesn't even know what to do with it." Brenda's eyes meet hers again, "He loves that little girl."

"Yeah well…excuse me if I offend you but he has a really shitty way of showing it."

Iris smiles, "Dylan doesn't know how to handle certain situations, he never did…you know that. He never had anyone to teach him. His father was always gone, working…ripping people off." Iris rolls her eyes and Brenda chuckles, "I ran away. Things got hard, instead of fighting for what I loved and wanted…my son…I ran away. Abandoning him. I know he's a grown man…but he doesn't know how else to deal with life." Brenda looks down sadly. "He'll be back…we both know he'll be back." Brenda's eyes meet hers again as she sighs. Silence reigns over them for a moment. "And then we ring his neck."

Brenda busts out laughing with a shake of her head. Iris joining in too. Brenda has never heard Iris speak of anything violent and it's hilarious. She smiles at her and gets off the ground. She moves towards her sitting beside her on the couch. "You are like a second mom to me and I love you for it." Brenda says sincerely, "Dylan might not know or admit how wonderful of a mother you are…but he knows."

Iris's head tilts to the side touched. Her hand comes up and cups her face sweetly. "Thank you." she whispers needing to hear it. Brenda knows Iris well enough to know that even though Dylan is his own man…own personality…she takes the blame for his ability to run away, just like she did all those years ago.

"You can sleep here in Dylan's room…it's so late." Brenda speaks up. She would hate to see Iris take a cab to the hotel now.

Iris smiles and nods, "Thank you. I think that sounds nice. I'll wake up and make breakfast. Help out with Olivia. Get as much grammy time in as I can." Iris looks into her eyes. She wants to make excuses for her son but she knows she can't. She has no idea why Dylan would up and leave even though she knows it has to do with Brenda.

Brenda smiles back at her. She watches her get up and move towards the stairs. Iris turns and looks at the only woman who she ever has wanted for her son. "Don't close the door on him. I know he has faults and he never does what you expect or want him to do. I also know you have to do what's best for you…for Olivia…and that might include getting close to someone else. Just don't close that door forever because no matter how much you want to lock it. It's not going to, not with two people as connected as you two, don't give up on him." Iris smiles sadly one last time and heads to Dylan's room. Brenda hears Iris's footsteps become far away and then stop when she finally breathes out. She swallows hard and grabs her phone. She stares down at it. Finding Dylan's contact information she hits call. She listens as it rings and rings.

"You've reached Dylan…you know what to do." She closes her eyes, a tear sliding effortlessly down her cheek.

"Dylan." her voice breaks, "Please don't do this to our daughter. Come home." Brenda swallows hard and hits end. She lays down on the couch in a fetal position and stares at the kitchen set, in what seems like is in a million pieces. Her phone chirps next to her head. She grabs it quickly sitting up praying it's Dylan. When she looks down at it she sees its actually a text from Jax.

 _Can't sleep…just thinking about you. Is this ok?_

Brenda smiles. She hits reply.

 _To text me? Of course. Can't sleep either…been a rough day_

 _Are you alright?_ he replies

 _Not really,_ her phone rings in her hand and she sees his name flash on her screen. She swallows hard, nerves swarming around her belly. She hits accept.

"Hello?" she says nervously.

"What's going on?" Jax's voice is worried but sweet.

Brenda sighs, "Long story."

Silence fills the phone but it isn't awkward. Brenda for once in the past 24 hours feels calm.

"Well I got time." Jax speaks up.

Brenda smiles into the phone, "Okay." she says quietly and begins explaining the crappy day she's had. Starting with the party after Jax left, onto the argument, on to the breaking up for lack of a better word, to the present. Jax listens quietly. Not over stepping his boundaries. Being there for her. Truly listening to her.

"God what a mess." Brenda breathes.

"I'm sorry Brenda…I didn't mean to cause this." Jax sighs sadly.

"Oh come on…I'm glad you told me. You didn't cause anything, Dylan did with his lame pissing match. And the truth is it's not about me, him running. This is something I'm sadly used to with him. Just Olivia isn't and I don't want her to get hurt. Then this fucking kitchen…UH!" she groans, "I need wine. I'm going to put this shit together if it's the death of me but I need wine."

Jax laughs. "It can't be that bad."

"Seriously check it out." Brenda pulls the phone from her ear and snaps a picture of the millions of pieces and texts it to him.

Brenda smiles hearing him laugh out loud, "Oh sweetie…you're in trouble." he jokes.

"I told you…I'm gonna do it. Wish me luck."

They chat for a awhile longer while Brenda begins to try to put the kitchen together again. "Come open the door for me."

Brenda freezes, "What?"

"Come on beautiful I'm here to help."

"You're here?" she whispers. She smiles as she moves towards the door and opens it widely, phone still pressed to her ear. There Jax stands with a bottle of wine, his phone to his ear and a sexy as sin smile.

Brenda and Jax both lower their phones at the same time. She smiles back at him then her smile fades as she looks into the house.

"Is this not okay…I know I should have asked, you just sounded so cute and stressed." he chuckles. "I want to help."

Brenda stares at him. God he is sexy. So good looking and she really could use the help. "Okay. Come in…we have to be quiet though." Jax smile widens as he comes in the house. Brenda takes the wine bottle from him as he takes off his jacket. His eyes looking around the foyer.

"Wow…what a beautiful house." He admires the woodwork.

Brenda takes a deep breath. She knows he should not be there but at that moment she wants him to be. The showing up and the wine and the offering to help put the little kitchen together is a sweet gesture and she's more than touched.

Jax sits on the ground and begins right away as Brenda opens the wine and pours both of them a glass. She walks back in and smiles seeing him working, getting farther than she had in only 2 minutes. She hands him the wine as he looks up at her. He smirks and takes a sip of the wine, his eyes not leaving hers. Brenda sits next to him and watches him as he works.

"Jax?" Brenda holds her glass of wine against her chest as she eyes him.

"Yes?" he looks up from screwing in the screws and smiles.

"This is Dylan's house." she says honestly.

He looks at her, then looks back down continuing to work. "You live together?" he asks his voice even. Brenda watches his muscled arms flex as he works away.

"Yeah…does that bother you?" her eyes meet his eyes.

"Should it?" Brenda shrugs shyly.

Jax puts down the screw driver and scoots closer to her. "Are you getting back together with Dylan?" he asks his eyes burning into hers.

"God no." she shakes her head. "No way."

He smirks at her, "Dylan is Olivia's dad…I think its great you two are close and he can be in her everyday life."

Brenda smiles at him and looks down thinking, "Yeah…well it was great…until he bailed." she sips her wine looking straight ahead.

Jax looks at her sadly. "I'm sorry." he feels badly again.

"Hey." Brenda pushes her shoulder into his, "It's not your fault. Dylan was just…" she tries to think of a good word.

"Jealous. I get it." he smirks at her again. "I can't blame the guy."

Brenda purses her lips together and looks down shyly. They continue to talk while Jax finishes putting together the kitchen.

Brenda and Jax sit next to each other admiring his work. "You're incredible…I couldn't even get this thing started. You should have heard me say the F word in front of Dylan's mom." Brenda laughs.

"She's here still?" Jax remembers Iris came up in the story Brenda told him over the phone.

"Yeah…Iris is amazing. She is like a second mom to me. I think sometimes she is closer to me than her own son. She adores Olivia and she is really good with her."

"What would Iris do if she came down right now? Would she be pissed?" Jax asks humor in his voice.

Brenda shakes her head, "Nah…she would definitely ask you what your sign is?" Brenda smiles.

Jax chuckles and looks down. His eyes meet hers. "I'm a Pisces…in case you were wondering." He shrugs cutely.

Brenda's smile widens "I'm a scorpio…but if you ask Iris she'll tell you I'm not your average Scorp, I totally am though."

Jax chuckles. "I'll have to look us up…see if we are a good match." he winks and Brenda giggles.

Silence reigns over them for a few moments as they admire the kitchen again. Brenda can't wait for Olivia to wake up and see this. She looks at him. Her arm lazily draped over her leg, her wine glass in her hand. "Thank you for this…for the wine."

He looks back at her shyly and smiles, "No problem."

They stare at each other and Jax leans in. Their lips touch softly. His full lips closing over hers lusciously. They separate keeping their closeness. "I should go…" he breathes. His sweet breath warm is delicious on her lips. Brenda absently nods knowing that is probably a good idea. No Iris wouldn't be angry but it would definitely be awkward. Plus if Olivia woke up that would be even more weird. Brenda walks him to the front door, opening it up as he turns to face her on the porch.

"Thanks again. I know Olivia is going to love it."

Jax hands go in his pockets as he nods, "Of course. It should keep her busy at least for a little while."

Brenda laughs and then silence falls between them again. "You want to…I don't maybe go out tomorrow night?" She asks shyly.

Jax smiles, "I'd like that. I'll call you tomorrow?"

Brenda nods looking deeply into his eyes. He's so gorgeous and sweet. She is smitten. He steps towards her. His hand coming to her face. His lips touch hers again gently. This time they both deepen it as his tongue mixes deliciously with hers. She is kissing him really kissing him, electric current runs through her lips down to her toes. Her fingers find his hair as she gets carried away. Jax pulls back and chuckles, "God you drive me crazy. You make it so hard to be a gentleman." He bites his lip turned on his eyes sweeping down her frame.

Brenda looks at him, she smiles and shrugs shyly but sexy, "Sorry."

"Something tells me you're not." he jokes, which makes Brenda blush and laugh.

"Good night beautiful." he looks into her eyes again.

"Good night." she whispers back. His lips are on hers again, its a slow, sexy hot kiss that leaves her wanting more. She watches him head to his car. Giving her a cute little wave before he gets in.

When Brenda's head finally hits the pillow and she closes her eyes. She feels peaceful and heard. In the back of her mind she is still thinking about Dylan and where he is and if and when he is coming back but it's mostly for her daughter's sake because in the front of her mind, her mind is on Jax and it feels good for once to have someone other than Dylan on her brain.

 _As you guys can see…Dylan is just burying himself deeper and deeper. Which lets be honest in fan fiction world we don't like to write about this side of Dylan but this is how he was sadly. I will let you guys know. though, he won't be gone long. It's gonna affect Olivia more than anticipated and Brenda will get closer to Jax in a short amount of time. She is desperate for attention from someone other than Dylan and she is diving in. I know some of you think Jax is a creep and you don't like him. He really is not suppose to be. He really is going to be good for her, and in a weird way, he will be for Dylan too. Karma is a bitch man, but there are always lessons to be learned! And Jax is everything Dylan lacks. Next up, we find out where Dylan is and a surprise guest will talk some sense into Dylan. Hit review people and thank you for reading!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

 _Ask me how I know_

Brenda woke up with a smile on her face. She checked her phone seeing it was after nine. Iris must have allowed her to sleep in. It was her day off and she was appreciate about that. She opened up her awaiting text.

 _Good morning beautiful…had fun last night. Going into the club but got my night freed for you. Have a good day off. Talk to you soon._

Brenda smiled and sighed. A guy that checks in. How reassuring. She happily gets up and heads downstairs. The delicious smell of breakfast awaiting her. She enters the kitchen to find it empty, with a full spread of breakfast on the counter. She pours herself a cup of coffee, she smiles hearing the girls in the other room. She follows the giggles into the living room where she sees Iris sitting on the couch clutching her cup of tea. Olivia playing with her kitchen animatedly.

"Here grammy…I made you breakfast." Iris smiles widely taking the pretend plastic food.

"Where's mine?" Brenda stands, her hand on her hip playfully a wide smile on her face. Iris looks up at her and smiles.

"Morning mommy…coming right up!" she announces.

Brenda chuckles and moves in taking a seat next to Iris. "I see you got it put together." she looks at her. A twinkle in her eye. Does she know?

Brenda clears her throat, "Had a little help from a friend…but yeah." she doesn't make eye contact and sips her coffee.

Iris sips her tea as they sit and watch Olivia play. Iris's ancient looking cell phone rings. She sets down her tea seeing who is calling. "Excuse me dear…I have to take this." Brenda nods as Iris gets up and moves towards the kitchen. She turns and looks at Brenda…then at Olivia and the kitchen. "He did a good job." her eyes meet Brenda's knowingly. Brenda watches Iris answer her phone moving into the kitchen for privacy.

Brenda closes her eyes, Ugh…Iris was too aware and intuitive for her own good. You know what screw it. If anyone was going to judge her or not approve of her seeing Jax then they could bite her. The truth was Brenda liked Jax. He was caring, selfless and a great listener. He didn't seem shallow or selfish in anyway. He seemed sensitive but manly, caring and intuitive to her needs. He was exceptionally attractive and seemed to be very into her, not to mention he says all the right things and means them. He respects her, hasn't tried to get her into bed prematurely. Has made her feel beautiful and tells her just that. He is charming, and enduring and its comfortable with him. Plus…let's be honest he's hot no he's beautiful and built and sexy. His kisses set her on fire and make her want to lose herself in him. That part reminds her of Dylan. That overwhelming rush of sexual energy that makes her crave him. She shakes her head as that side of her brain moves to Dylan. So she isn't over Dylan, she doesn't think she probably will ever be but Jax seems good for her. He has captured something deep inside her and it makes her want to see where this will go. She feels 16 all over again and it's exciting.

"Mommy…where's daddy? Did he come home and put my kitchen together and leave again?" Olivia looks at her mom sadly.

Brenda sighs, "No baby. Your daddy didn't put together the kitchen. I'm sure he'll be home soon." Brenda doesn't know what to say. If she could only talk to him, see how long he is planning on hiding out then she would be able to come up with a better story…but that's not Dylan. He is a man of mystery and not in a good way this time. Brenda feels the tears coming as she looks at Olivia's sad face as she continues to pretend to cook. Brenda gets up to move towards the real kitchen so Olivia won't see her cry. She overhears Iris.

"I don't know where he went." she says quietly. "He hasn't answered or returned my messages. He is messing this up. How is she to know how much he's grown and loves her if he is acting like a child?" Brenda swallows hard. "Alright sweetheart…call me if you hear anything. Bye." Iris shuts her phone and sighs. Brenda walks in making herself known.

"Erica?" she asked knowing already.

Iris looks down and sighs again, "Yes…I called her last night to see if she had heard from Dylan."

Brenda's raises her eyebrows, "She hasn't" Iris turns to face her. Brenda nods knowingly. Iris's face worried about her son.

"Iris…he does this all the time." Brenda moves to refill her coffee. "Why are you so surprised?"

"I'm not surprised dear…I'm disappointed. I saw the way he looked at you. I saw how he was with Olivia. I just don't understand how he could leave."

Brenda turns holding her warm mug against her chest. "I broke it off with him because of Jax. He did something that wasn't his business and I was upset. Jax is a nice guy Iris. I like him."

Iris takes a deep breath, everything becoming more clear. "This Jax…he was the one who came over last night?"

Brenda nods, "Yes."

Silence fills the kitchen, "I know you want me and Dylan together Iris. You've never hid that from either one of us…but Dylan isn't here. He isn't trying to prove he's changed, he isn't fighting for me besides being an intimating jealous ass. He bailed. That's what he does. He has been living here in LA off and on. Sleeping with different women." Brenda shrugs with tears in her eyes, "I haven't been a thought in his mind for years."

"Brenda…you don't believe that. That boy is crazy about you. I know he's frustrating but you can't deny the feelings you guys have for one another…you just can't."

Brenda smiles and moves closer to her, "Iris I love you but your son is jack ass. You know it…I know it…everyone knows it. If he loved me, he would be here, he wouldn't have left that little girl in there heartbroken. For me to have to explain where he went, why he isn't with her. I deserve to be happy. Jax so far is making me happy. I'll always love Dylan. He was my first love, but…sometimes he drives me crazy!"

Iris looks at Brenda with a smirk, "You've been driving each other crazy for years sweetie. There has been a charge between the two of you since you met."

Brenda takes a deep breath but doesn't say anything. Iris continues, "You know what the truth is…he's never thought he was good enough for you." Brenda's eyes meet Iris's. Silence fills the kitchen.

"But that's just plain ridiculous isn't it?"

Iris shrugs a little, "I don't know is it? You've made something for yourself Brenda. You studied in London. Your resume is a mile long. You chose your career and making yourself something over him. You should be proud of yourself. You did all that and your raising a little angel by yourself."

"I would have wanted him on the journey with me. That's all I ever wanted." Brenda says sadly. "He just had other plans I guess, and all those women." Brenda sighs.

Iris listens intently and looks at her. "There was always and will always only be one woman Brenda. No matter how many times he has told himself otherwise. You were both just too young to settle down back then. But now." Iris's smile spreads, "It's time sweetie."

Brenda stays quiet listening to her words. She wants to believe her but the simple fact is Dylan is the same ol Dylan. Running when things get hard. When he doesn't get his way.

"So Jax." Iris changes the subject. "He's good looking?" she smirks a little.

Brenda breathes out a laugh and smiles, "Oh god yeah. And he's a Pisces. Is that good?"

Iris huffs and shakes her head, "Great." she mumbles.

Brenda laughs at her reaction, "Why what? Is that bad?"

"You're a Scorpio…he's a Pisces…you are very compatible, in fact probably the most compatible in the zodiac calendar being both water signs." she says not happy with this information.

"Pisces are very selfless, and caring, very emotional and sensitive. Since Pisces and Scorpio are both ruled by water, they relate to each other almost effortlessly. They believe to function on intuition and instinct. This is the why they have such a immense attraction to each other and it's also why there is a sense of connection between them from the start. The strong and secretive personality of the Scorpion entices the Fish, while the kind and compassionate behavior of the Pisces attracts the former. They have mutual attraction from the very first time they interact with each other and it only grows as and when they spend more time together."

Brenda smiles wide, "See…that's good yeah?"

Iris grunts, "The best part of a Scorpio/Pisces relationship is the erotic dance that happens in the bedroom. They are romantic, passionate, emotional, sensual, and creative lovers, whose aim is to please one another. There's role-play, mystery, fantasy, pain, pleasure, and a merging into one another that makes their lovemaking magical." Brenda blushes hearing this come from Iris.

"Regardless of how dark, kinky, or forbidden their lovemaking gets, he'll skillfully navigate all the deep, intense emotional waves she stirs up. Their ability to lose themselves in each other makes their time together in bed simply the best part of this relationship."

Brenda looks down with a huge smile, "See something to look forward too." She wiggles her eyebrows.

Iris shakes her head with a smirk "Brenda don't be embarrassed by me saying this but Scorps are highly sexual beings. They have good sex with just about anyone. Especially Libra's but you know that already. Libra's and Scorps are relationship signs, it's never just about sex and attraction. They love being together. It's comforting and the sex explosive! Also both Libra's and Scorpio's are always in the mood." Iris smirks.

"Okay…enough sex ed Iris. I know how sex with Dylan is, it's been awhile but I remember."

Iris laughs, "Just saying." they smile at each other.

Things get serious for a second, "I just want you to be happy."

"I know." Brenda nods.

"I'm not NOT supporting this relationship Brenda but…I let Dylan down a lot over the years and even though I understand you being over his immaturity and general emotional no show ways, I owe him. I kept Olivia a secret for a long time. I owe Dylan more. I'll support it but don't think I'm going to encourage it." Iris smiles widely.

Brenda chuckles, "Deal." she nods and moves towards her. They hug for a long time. Until Iris rubs her back affectionately. They pull away as Iris wipes her tear quickly. She reaches and holds Brenda's upper arms, "You've done an amazing job with my granddaughter. Have fun…but not too much fun, you and Dylan's story isn't done." She winks at her and walks out of the kitchen.

Brenda's smile fades as she takes a deep breath watching her leave. She woke up so utterly happy and now…all she feels is Dylan's absence.

Dylan sat on the rocks looking out into the ocean. He looked at the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance. It was a cold day in San Francisco for the end of summer. Baker Beach was one of Dylan's favorite places in San Fransisco and one of the main reasons he wanted to attend Berkeley so badly all those years ago. He thought about Brenda, how much he loved her and their daughter. He knew she was probably livid. He knew Brenda well enough to know that. She wasn't one to hold back her feelings. All he needed was a couple days to regroup and that probably would have been alright. But a normal person discusses it, lets the people that are closest to him know where he is going. That's what set Dylan apart from the normal. He didn't want to be like this. He succeeded in London for while but at the end of those 3 years, he did it again. Realizing he was losing Brenda to work, he gave up and came home. He sighed realizing he did it again. He didn't get his way so he bailed. "God I'm fucking stupid." he said quietly out loud.

"Yeah…you are." Dylan smiled hearing the familiar voice behind him. "I thought maybe you'd be here…it was either here or Baja."

Dylan kept looking into the ocean with a nod, "The not drinking makes Baja too inviting to go down that path." Silence filled the space. "How did you know I was gone?"

"Mom called me." Erica sat down next to him on the rock. Dylan looked over at her. He took her in. It had been awhile since he'd been here and had seen his sister. She had been living in San Francisco for a few years. She was graduating from Berkeley next year. Dylan tried to visit in the beginning when his schedule and time permitted but he hadn't been in awhile. Erica looked over at him , "Aren't you going to yell at me?"

Dylan's head turned towards her, "For what?"

"For not telling you about Olivia."

Dylan shook his head. "No." he said simply. "You had your reasons."

Erica smirked looking into the ocean as she smirked, she knew Dylan would never be mad at her. "Yeah…I did."

Silence filled the space again. "You're fucking everything up." she said truthfully.

Dylan smirked, sometimes he couldn't believe his sister was now in her early twenties, all grown up about to enter her senior year of college. "That's what I do…you know that."

Erica nodded, "You have to go home Dylan. Olivia needs you. She is wondering where you are. Asking questions. Iris said Brenda has been covering for you."

"I don't know why she would."

Erica took a deep breath, she pushed her shoulder into him, "Because she loves you you jerk and you love her too. Stop being a coward."

Dylan huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. "You don't know what you're talking about." he sighs.

Erica looked out into the ocean, "You're as stubborn as they come, you'll never settle down, you'll always be the one that doesn't stick around. You make all the rules, your set in your ways, you got to have your freedom and your space."

Dylan looked over at her, she continued, "Cause one day you'll meet the girl you swore you'd never find. Start feeling things you never felt and spending all your time trying to figure out how she got a hold on you. And when you start to fall, you'll hold onto your pride, start building up your walls and never let her get inside completely. You'll push her away cause that's all you know how to do. And then she'll leave and you won't beg her not to go...then you'll regret it and do it all over again."

Dylan hugged his legs tighter and smirked. He shook his head silently.

"Go head shake your head. Tell me I'm wrong. But I know how you are cause I know how I am. You say I don't know what I'm talking about Dylan? Ask me how I know? Because Dylan…I know, were the same." Dylan swallowed hard and looked at his sister. "I think we got it from dad…we had too." Erica thinks about the relationships she had with men and she let the same thing happen to her. It was no shock she had abandonment issues. It was always easier to end things first then to get left.

"Well Iris wasn't any better." Dylan added.

'Well then you got that one double, you're fucked." Dylan chuckled and Erica smiled at him. They both sat quietly for a few minutes as they looked in the ocean again. "She is seeing someone."

Dylan looks down and nods, "I figured. Jax." he breaths.

"Who's Jax?"

Dylan shrugs one shoulder quickly, "The guy who runs my club."

"Is he a good guy?" Erica looks at him.

Dylan sighs loudly, "You want the truth or a Dylan answer?"

Erica smiled, "Both."

"Yes and he's a pain in my ass. She is pushing me away. She wants to date him, she likes him."

Erica smiles, "No…you're pushing her away and you know why she wants to date him."

"And why is that?" he looks at her.

"Because you idiot she doesn't want to get hurt by you anymore. She doesn't want to love you Dylan…she just can't help it."

"Well maybe she deserves someone like Jax then. She sure as hell deserves better than me."

"God wah wah wah. For being an intelligent guy…your fucking dumb and a god damn cry baby." Dylan laughed out loud.

"Brenda aside Dylan…you have a daughter. Don't let her grow up like us. From what Iris told me she has never seen you like this. You love your little girl so much it scares you. Just like you love Brenda so much it scares you."

"Excuse me…I'm not running away from Brenda. I want to be with her…she is the one running from me."

Erica raises her perfect sculpted eyebrow, "Do you blame her? Your track record sucks."

Dylan signs agreeing. "I don't know if I can see her with him. Happy…what if she falls in love with him?" he says seriously…sadly…so emotional Erica tears up.

Erica shakes her head. "I think your underestimating the power you have over her heart Dylan. All she ever wanted was you. You were the one that didn't know what you wanted. So she dates another guy, at the end of the day he won't be you. But running away…not being there to show her how ready you are for this. How ready you are to commit for the long hall…is only going to make Jax seem like the better choice. Go back, be there for Olivia and be the guy Brenda knows you are. She knows deep inside you aren't this guy Dylan. It's almost easier for you to pretend to be an asshole." Erica and Dylan's eyes meet, "Fight for her." she whispers.

Dylan's arm comes around his sister as he pulls her against his side. She lays her head on his shoulder, his coming on top of hers. "Iris said he is good looking…which means if she is saying it he is hot as hell."

"Mom's met him?" Dylan separated and looked into his sisters eyes. What the hell, he's been gone for 2 days.

Erica shook her head, "No…but he was at your house last night…putting together your daughters play kitchen."

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Dylan gets up hastily. Erica pushes herself off of the ground just as quickly.

"Go home you jack ass before Olivia has a step father." Erica stares at him. Trying to tell him she isn't joking, this guy is moving in on Brenda and Brenda is welcoming it.

"Fuck that…HELL NO!" Dylan begins to walk away angrily. Erica smiles…she knew that would work. Erica and Iris might have kept Brenda's secret about Olivia…but this time…they were supporting Dylan. Keeping Olivia a secret might have been necessary for Brenda and Olivia's sake considering Dylan was a mess. But now…now things were different. Now it was time for Dylan to know he deserved this family and he deserved Brenda.

"Are you coming or what?" he yelled from his car.

Erica's smile widened, hell yes she was coming. She giggles as she runs to his car happily. They'd have to stop by campus and pick up some things for Erica but then they'd be on their way. The drive was long from San Fransisco to LA but it being summer break Erica had the time...and she knew she owed her brother some back up. There was nothing like a little cock block sister to ruin Brenda's happiness bubble.

 _Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Hit review people. Dylan is going home and Erica is coming too. Some of you might have been disappointed the girls were team Jax right now…but there are team Dylan's too! But for the team Jax fans…Dylan isn't going to have it easy. He still left. And Brenda is still gonna see Jax. Dylan is going to have to suffer a little._


	13. Chapter 13

_Finally an_ _update! YAY! Not a long chapter but still an update! Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 13_

 _Trying to Love You_

Brenda sits at her vanity in her bedroom and brushes her hair. Her attention goes to Olivia playing make up as she watches her sweet face brush the face brush over her nose. Brenda smiles and plays with her long brown hair.

"How do I look?" Olivia sweetly turns to her mom.

"You're missing one thing. Hold on." Brenda reaches for one of her lipsticks. "One last thing to make everything come together." She takes the top off her lipstick and dabs the pretty pink color on her daughters small lips. She moves her own lips blotting as Olivia copies her. She finishes with a an air kiss and so does Olivia.

"Now?" Olivia looks to her mom for confirmation.

"Perfect." Brenda whispers heartfelt. Her hand comes to her face as Dylan's eyes stare back at her. "You look beautiful." The tears getting caught subtly in her throat.

"Thank you!" Olivia gleams as she begins to play around with the make up brush again. Brenda pushes her tears back and begins to prep herself for her date with Jax. He's due over in an hour to pick her up. Silence reigns over them.

Mommy?" Lets be honest silence is never good with a 4 year old.

"Yes baby." Brenda turns slightly and stares at her concerned face. Olivia is an old soul, her features showing that instead of a innocent little girl.

"Where's daddy? Is he coming back soon?"

Brenda sighs, she has tried so hard to push the inevitable away from her daughter knowing. She decides maybe it's time for a little truth. At least enough for a 4 year old girl to understand. Brenda reaches pushing her hair from her face.

"I don't know baby."

"Well…where is he?" She pleads.

Brenda picks her up effortlessly and carries her over to her bed. She sits her on her lap and holds her. "I don't know where daddy went…but he loves you very much."

"Did I do something?" She asks so heartbreaking Brenda has to swallow the tears again.

She shakes her head and looks into her eyes, "No baby…you did nothing wrong. I'm sure he'll be back soon." The lies seem to flow easy and she hates it.

"But when?" Olivia hounds her. Brenda gets up and goes to her closet, she doesn't want to say anything mean. She doesn't want to tarnish her daughters view of her dad. She tries to ignore the question.

"Do you like this dress?" She grabs it and turns towards Olivia. She smiles hoping she allows her to change the subject.

Olivia only shrugs and silence reigns over them again. "Maybe this one?" Brenda grabs another.

"The red." Olivia breaths disappointed.

Brenda stares at Olivia's sad face when she looks down. She exhales and walks over to her and sits.

"Olivia…your daddy is the kind of guy that runs away. He does it when he's mad or sad or scared. It's not about you. He loves you. It's just the way he is but he will be back. He always comes back." Brenda whispers the last part. Maybe it was for her benefit too. She wasn't sure.

"You are going on a date with Jax?"

Brenda looks shocked as she looks at her daughters face, "Do you even know what a date is?" Brenda smiles uncomfortably.

"It's when a girl and a boy go out on the town."

"Oh it is is it? And where did you learn this?"

"I heard grammy on the phone. She said you were going on a date with Jax."

Brenda grunted softly, "She did did she." Brenda knew it was probably Erica because not to be mean who else would Iris be talking too. She turns towards her closet and rolls her eyes so Olivia won't see. She'd have to have a talk with Iris.

"Do you like Jax?" Brenda signed defeated she was not having this conversation with a 4 year old.

"I like him just fine Olivia. He seems like the kind of guy that would make a great new friend." She said simply.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah…I liked Jax. He's nice."

Brenda chuckles as she hangs the black dress back into the closet and moves to get ready.

"Do you think Jax would want to be my new friend too?" She asks sweetly.

Brenda smiles, "I'm sure he would love that."

"Is he going to be your boyfriend?"

"Why don't you let mommy worry about this stuff Olivia. This is adult stuff okay? Grammy told me you guys were making pizza's tonight. That sounds like fun. Will you save me a piece to try?" She needed to get ready and stop having adult conversations with her daughter. She knew kids heard a lot more than adults realized but she was swimming in unchartered territory. First Dylan…now Jax. She wasn't ready to discuss either…not with an adult and especially not with Olivia.

"Mama…one last question about daddy."

"What is it Olivia?" Brenda said in a raised tone, she couldn't hide the frustration in her voice. "I'm sorry baby." She instantly feels badly seeing her flinch.

Olivia's lip curled sadly in a heartbreaking pout and Brenda feels like an asshole.

"I…just…I just…never mind." Olivia sighed disappointed.

Brenda moved quickly, scooping up her daughter and hugging her, "I'm sorry for yelling baby…I'm so sorry. What did you want to ask?"

"If daddy didn't put together my kitchen…who did?"

Brenda pushed back her bangs, "Jax did sweetheart."

Olivia was quiet for what seemed like a full couple of minutes. She smiled a soft smile at Brenda that didn't quite hit her eyes.

"I'm gonna go find grammy." Olivia said quietly. Brenda watched her sad little 4 year old leave her bedroom. She sighed loudly, _damn it Dylan._ She shook her head getting up to finish getting ready for her date. She was looking forward to getting out and hanging out with Jax. She needed the time away even if it was just for a few hours. She applied some lipstick and stared at her reflexion. She thought of Dylan…where he was? What he was doing? Who with? Brenda shook her head. She couldn't do this anymore. She had to stop thinking about Dylan. He invaded her thoughts all the time, not only when their daughter brought him up but always. For years over and over. She was done trying to love Dylan McKay.

She walked over to her closet. Reaching up and grabbing a box from the top shelf. She brought it down and carried it to her bed setting it down gently. She opened it up grabbing a hand full of pictures. There Dylan and herself smiled back at her. They were so young, so naive, so in love. She flipped through stopping of one of Dylan and her in London. She remembered the picture fondly. They had it in a frame in their flat when they lived together. Lips pressed together, smiling mid kiss. Big Ben in the background. Dylan holding her close against him around the waist. Brenda's arms limply around his neck where they always belonged. She set them aside pulling out her old journal. Her hand ran across it softly. She hadn't looked at this or wrote in it in so long. She opened it to a page toward the back.

 _He's gone…I'm pregnant and he's gone. I tried calling him 3 times to be exact. I guess we will see if he calls me back. I heard a song today. It was called Trying To Love you. It reminded me so much of Dylan I looked up the words. Here are the lyrics._

 _I blew out all my plans_

 _The world fell in my hands_

 _The day that I began_

 _Trying to love you_

 _The secrets I have kept_

 _The nights I haven't slept_

 _I've laughed until I've wept_

 _Trying to love you_

 _Trying to love you...No one's come as close or gone so far_

 _Trying to love you...I've lost and found myself in who you are_

 _Trying to love you...So easy and so hard, trying to love you_

 _I've watched myself get stuck_

 _Squandered all my luck_

 _Almost given up_

 _Trying to love you_

 _Trying to love you...It broke my heart, it's chipped away my pride_

 _Trying to love you…Every time I'd see that fault line slide_

 _Trying to love you...I've crossed the great divide trying to love you_

 _Trying to love you...I've screamed your name, I've slammed a thousand doors_

 _Trying to love you...I've worn a million miles across the floor_

 _Trying to love you...Still I could not ignore trying to love you_

 _It's pulled the best from me_

 _For all the world to see_

 _I guess I'll always be_

 _Trying to love you._

Brenda slammed the book shut. She threw it back in the box along with the pictures that littered her bed now. _No_. Brenda thought. _I give up trying to love him_. She grabbed her purse leaving the box on her bed as she left to go downstairs, hang out with Iris and Olivia until Jax came to pick her up. She was over trying to be there for Dylan. She would not be this woman. The one from that journal. The one that cried for Dylan every night. Even after Olivia was born. Maybe more so. No…Dylan chose. He chose to leave, not to return her calls, whether he got the messages or not, he chose to leave again, he chose not to check on her. She wasn't sticking up for him anymore and she wasn't going to make up excuses for him either when it came to Olivia.

Brenda reached out and tickled Olivia that laughed out loud. Iris sitting with her tea watching the two interact happily. Brenda sat up straighter hearing the front door open and close. She looked at Iris her heart stopped. She swallowed hard and stood up just in time for Dylan to move through the foyer and round into the living room. He stared at her intensely. He dropped his bag with a thud as silence filled the living room.

"Dylan." Iris breathed and got up. She rushed him and hugged him tightly. Dylan still looked at Brenda as he patted his mom on her back. "Thank god you're home." She breathed again.

"So…you decided to come back?" Brenda crossed her arms. Her eyes glaring into his.

He moved closer ignoring the tone and looked down as Olivia hugged Brenda's leg staring at him. "Hey baby." He knelt down to her level.

Olivia hid farther behind Brendas leg, eyes still peaking out looking at him. "Olivia?" Dylan's heart broke. She was hiding from him. "I brought you something." He smiled and reached into his jacket pocket bringing out a San Fransisco cable car. He held it up, "It's a cable car. This is how you get around in San Fransisco, cool huh?" Olivia leaned out from behind Brenda's leg and timidly reached for it.

"San Francisco Dylan?" Brenda said angrily. She couldn't help it.

"Hey Bren." Erica stood back watching the exchange. Brenda was so surprised to see Dylan, she hadn't noticed the young woman standing in the doorway.

"Erica?" Brenda said surprised and moved towards her. They hugged tightly. "It's so good to see you." It had been awhile since the two had seen each other.

Erica pulled away with a smile, "How are you?"

Brenda smiled widely, "Good…you?"

"Really good."

Silence fell over the living room. "Aunt Erica!" It was Olivia's turn to run toward Erica. She caught her easily, picking her up with a squeeze as she hugged her tightly.

"Oli…happy birthday!" She kisses her a few times and squeezes her again.

"Auntie! I'm so happy you're here!" Olivia giggles as Erica tickles her side a little.

Brenda crosses her arms, her head tilts to the side with a smile as she watches the two interact. "How long are you staying?" Brenda asks hopeful it's more than tonight.

Erica sets down Olivia and shrugs, "I ran into Dylan and figured I didn't have class, thought I'd come and spend some time with my family."

Brenda looks at Dylan, the smile from her face fading. "So…you went to visit Erica in San Francisco then?" Her voice still hard.

"Something like that." Dylan answered. His voice soft and mysterious. It made Brenda exhale through her nose.

"But…you couldn't tell us that?" Brenda knew she was being a bitch but she couldn't for the life of her care.

"Erica…Olivia…why don't you guys help me in the kitchen? We were going to make pizzas for dinner, maybe we can get started." Iris took Olivia's hand and sensed Brenda and Dylan had stuff to talk about. Silence fell over the living room quickly as all three of them left them alone.

Brenda and Dylan stared at each other, Brenda fuming from Dylan's 2 day disappearing act. Dylan a little angry as well about the kitchen, which he eyed quickly before his eyes landed back on Brenda.

"So?" Brendas hands came to her hip. "You're back?" Her tone hard.

Dylan took a minute, "I'm back." His hands went into his pockets. Silence fell over the living room as the two stared at one another. "I'm sorry." Dylan practically whispered. "I'm sorry for taking off."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing too."

Dylan took a step towards Brenda, she swallowed hard as he got closer to her, "I will make it up to Olivia but I want to apologize to you too."

"Spare me Dylan." Brenda went to move around him but Dylan reached out pulling her hand back to him. Dylan stood tall looking down at her. Brenda breathing heavy from his close proximity. She reined in the butterflies and backed away from him.

The door bell rang out and Brenda swallowed hard knowing it was Jax. She exhaled loudly, "Before I get that I think you should know…"

"That you have a date with Jax…yeah I know." He said quietly as his hands went into his pockets again. His eyes traveled her frame as she stood looking incredible in her sexy red dress. A color Dylan always favored on her. "Nice dress."

Brenda cleared her throat. She shook her head and moved around him again heading for the door. "Brenda?"

She turned around stopping in the doorway, "I am sorry…I had to think for a little while. It's not personal."

Brenda shook her head with a smirk, "It's always personal Dylan." She took a couple steps towards him, "We have a daughter together. You can apologize till your blue in the face to her…but as for me…you aren't my concern anymore. You haven't been for a long time. Unless it comes to Olivia and Dylan…you hurt her again…" Brenda breathed out through her nose. A warning.

She grabbed her purse and went to the door, she opened up to see a drop dead gorgeous Jax smiling at her. Her face lit up, "Hey." She whispered.

"For you." He handed her a small gorgeous bouquet of tulips before stepping into the foyer. He leaned in kissing Brenda sweetly on the cheek, "You look incredible. That color looks beautiful on you."

Brenda blushed, "Thank you."

Dylan lazily leaned against the doorway, "Yeah…Brenda always looked sexy as hell in red."

Jax nervously looked towards the voice, "Dylan? You're back." He kept his voice strong.

Dylan crossed his arms, standing up a little straighter, "That I am Jax…don't you forget it." The two men had a stare down, Brenda looking between them nervously.

Thankfully Erica, Iris and Olivia made there way into the foyer, "Hey Jax." Olivia said happily.

Jax smile widened, "Hey sweet girl." Dylan looked between them. Jealousy coursing though hews veins.

"Thanks for putting together my kitchen, I love it." Olivia said with a giggle.

Jax chuckled and bent down, "You're so welcome. I'm glad you like it." Olivia shyly smiled at him.

Dylan breathed through his nose reigning in from causing a scene. Brenda broke the uncomfortable.

"Jax I'd like to introduce you to Dylan's mom and sister, Iris and Erica." Her hand coming up to make the proper introductions.

Jax held out his hand with a smile and shook Iris's hand first, "Nice to meet you." He extended his hand to Erica and shook it.

"Yum." Erica breathed. Jax chuckled uncomfortable and Brenda laughed. Dylan grunted, fuming this was even happening.

"Well…we should get out of here." She leaned down and hugged Olivia and placed a kiss on her cheek, "Have fun with Grammy and Auntie…be good."

"I will…bye mama." Olivia grabbed Iris's hand and Erica's pulling them into the living room.

Brenda looked at Dylan, his eyes burning into hers. She felt Jax take her hand with a squeeze and a gentle tug as she calmed instantly. She went to open the front door and Jax quietly made his way out of it letting go of her and as quickly as he claimed it. Dylan moved quickly forcibly taking her arm in his hand. He pulled her back slightly.

"He won't make your feelings go away just because you're angry with me." He spoke quietly as he stared into her eyes. "He won't love you like I do…what we have is real." Dylan leaned dangerously close to her face.

Brenda leaned closer, her whisper seething mad, their noses practically touching "Well that ain't real much." She pulled away from his grip with force. She glared at him, "You don't know what love is." she said angrily, never taking her eyes off of him as she slammed the door in his face.

Dylan exhaled loudly, his fingers gripping his hair as he turned away from the door frustrated. How the hell did they get here? How the hell was he going to get her back?

 _So sorry for the delay people. I don't have an excuse really, just laziness. Did celebrate my 40th in Nashville so I was gone a week or so but I'm back and outlining more updates. Next up, Dylan learns how his leaving has effected his relationship with Olivia and we see Brenda on her date with Jax. Please review…this story is just getting good! Also stay tuned for an update to London. That has been a favorite of my writing fans and it's been forever since I updated. Stay tuned! I'm backkkkkkkk!_


	14. Chapter 14

_I know not everyone loves the idea of Jax but I promise Brenda and Dylan will have a HEA and I promise Dylan and Brenda will learn from this. Have I let you down? On that note here is chapter 14, its rated M sorry not sorry. Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 14_

 _The Big Date and The Very Important talk_

Dylan stays silent as he watches the girls laughing and making pizza. He stares at his gorgeous little girl that hasn't really acknowledged his presence. It breaks his heart, he knew he had let her down. As he watches her she would every so often glance at him, just to turn her head with a small huff when she saw him looking at her. Dylan hid the smirk, she was a little Brenda. Pouting and dramatic, cute in her anger, stubborn and going to be hard to get back into her good graces.

"Hey Olivia?" Dylan was pulling out all the punches and he wasn't ashamed, "How bout I take you to the pool I was telling you about tomorrow? You can swim without your floaties."

Her head snaps up and her big brown eyes widen, Dylan sees the sparkle right away, he thinks he's won.

As fast as that expression fills her face, it's gone. She shrugs and continues to ignore him.

He sighs and moves towards her, "Baby girl…let's talk?" He asks sweetly.

Olivia looks into his heart and soul as her eyes meet his, "Why? So you can run away from me again? You promised." She says in a little voice that breaks his heart all over again. She hops down from the stool she is standing on and runs out of the kitchen.

Dylan's eyes meet Iris…then Erica. Sadness fills the kitchen.

"I got it." Erica sighs sadly and walks out of the kitchen after her.

"I was only gone two god damn days." He mutters disappointed.

Iris takes a deep breath wiping her hands on a kitchen towel, "A lot happened in those two days. Brenda has been making up excuses, she's been covering for you but…Brenda told her you like to run away. She'll come around. Give her time."

Dylan shakes his head and sighs, his elbows lean against the counter, his hands rubbing his face.

"Dylan? Why did you leave? Why didn't you just tell them you were going?"

Dylan looks at his mom, "I don't know…it's just the way I am."

Iris walks closer to her son, her hand comes to his shoulder, "Well Dylan…maybe now it's time to grow up." That's all Iris says as she leaves the kitchen to go check on the girls.

Dylan grunts out loudly, turning his back and resting against the counter. His daughter hates him, Brenda hates him. Honestly he was only gone 2 days. He starts grabbing trash that litters the counter to try to keep busy. He knows he has to talk to her but how do you explain your flaws to a 4 year old? When Brenda was mad at him, they could hash it out. In the years they were together, they fought, everyone fought in relationships sometimes. Brenda was stubborn and stuck in her ways and so was Dylan. But Dylan had a way with Brenda, just like she did with him. They would sometimes fight and then make up in a BIG way. That's passion at its finest. This was different. He knew he couldn't use his charm and a sexy smirk to get Olivia into his good graces. He walks over to the trash lifting the top to throw the trash he had collected in it. He freezes, he leans down picking up the article sitting on top. There lies the cable car he had given to Olivia. Tears fill his eyes quickly. She threw it away. There was no buying her forgiveness. He grips it tightly taking it out of the trash. There were consequences to his selfish actions he has never had to face before. His heart breaks, his daughter is beyond angry, he broke her heart. Brenda is doing god knows what with someone else. Leaving for two days was a very bad idea.

Jax drives his bright red 1965 mustang hard top. Not like Brandon's convertible but still as amazing. The car is a candy apple red. Shiny exterior, black perfect interior and in pristine condition. He looks over as Brenda as she quietly stares out the window.

"You ok?" Jax's eyes meet the road in front of him again just to watch her again.

She exhales and looks over at him. She nods, "Yeah…I'm sorry."

Jax shrugs lightly, "We can do this another night…if it's too much."

Brenda turns her body towards him, "No." She shakes her head, "I've been looking forward to this since we originally made these plans. I'm not going to let the return of Dylan McKay ruin our night." She forces a smile.

Jax smirks at her and nods. He has been looking forward to it too. "You want to talk about it?" Jax offers, does he want to talk about Dylan, No. But thats the way he is. He likes this girl, if she is hurting he wants to be there for her.

Brenda sighs, "I really don't." She looks straight ahead again.

"Alright." Jax smiles at her pout, "Let's have fun…me and you then."

Brenda looks over at him, his blue eyes meeting hers in the car. It's just about sunset and the hew of orange lights up the car. She nods liking the sound of that. Its quiet as they reach their destination. Jax pulls in to an available space and puts his car in park.

"You like seafood...Sushi?" He looks over at Brenda.

She smiles knowing where they are. She has never been here, the last time she was in LA she didn't go to places like this.

"I do."

She takes that moment to really look at Jax. He's in a dark blue suit, light blue shirt, with a dark blue tie. It compliments his blond hair and bright blue eyes. He's dressed differently than she's seen him. Handsome and like a GQ model. So different from his casual jeans and tight t-shirts that show off his muscled tattooed arms.

Brenda can't help herself, her hand goes to his face as she leans in touching her lips to his. He deepens the kiss as his strong hands find their way into her long brown hair. He grips her head and tingles shoot down her whole entire body. They kiss hot and needy, tongues fighting for dominance until both slowly separate to catch their breaths.

Jax's eyes are closed, he smiles and bites his lip. Brenda doesn't think this man can be anymore sexy. "God woman…kissing you….fuck you drive me crazy." He's groans, his eyes open and Brenda is looking at him. She smirks closed mouth knowing exactly what he means. Hearing that groan sent a shot to her core.

"I just wanted to thank you for asking me out." She voice is turned on and flirty.

Jax's smile widens he keeps his closeness, "Well…technically, you asked me out."

Brenda laughs lightly, she shrugs a little backing up a bit so she can see him better, "Technicality…pshh…Well then…thank you for saying yes."

Jax leans in and takes her lips to his again. It's a slow sweet kiss, "I'm sorry this took so long." He said confident. Thinking about how he almost let Dylan ruin this.

Soon they are out of the car and walking to the entrance to Nobu. A ocean front known Japanese restaurant in Malibu. As they meet from around the car, Jax reaches out and takes Brenda's hand. She looks down at it and then into his blue eyes. She smiles at him, which he returns as they silently make their way to their ocean view reserved table.

Dinner is phenomenal, conversation is pleasant. The romantic lightening around them sets the ambiance. Brenda orders the Black Cod with Miso and Jax orders Prime Filet Toban Yaki. They share a blue prawn salad and rock shrimp tempura with creamy spicy sauce and try each others dishes. The food is gourmet and to die for. Brenda hasn't eaten this good in years. Probably since her before Olivia days when Dylan and herself used to travel around Europe when he would accompany her on tour. She moves Dylan out of her mind as she looks at Jax. Enjoying his steak as any man would. He looks at her questioning her look.

He finishes chewing feeling on the spot as he gently wiped his mouth with his cloth napkin returning it to his lap. "What's that look for beautiful?"

She laughs a little feeling silly, "I think maybe you're too pretty for me." She jokes.

He leans in closer to her, his hot sexy breath in her ear, "You think I'm pretty?" He kisses her neck and it tickles as she playfully leans away. He kisses her again. Goose bumps spread quickly as she lets him feast on her neck.

She sighs, "Hell yes you're pretty." She breathes enjoying the feeling of him.

"Well…I don't know how I feel about that but you are far more than pretty." His eyes meet hers, he's close to her, their noses almost touching, "You're exquisite. Beautiful, fun, smart, incredible." Brenda blushes and goes in for a kiss as a clear of the throat makes them separate.

The waiter is standing there, embarrassed for interrupting. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

Brenda and Jax look down embarrassed too, he looks at Brenda, "Do you want anything else?"

Brenda shyly smiles and shakes her head. Jax looks back up at the waiter. "Just the check when you get a chance."

The waiter nods and leaves them alone again.

Jax's attention goes to her again, both of them knowing that no one existed in this restaurant in that time they were in their bubble. The waiter bringing them back to reality.

"Do you have to get back right away?"

Brenda shakes her head, still a little speechless and effected. Knowing the last place she wants to be right now is home this early. She'd rather be back when everyone is asleep. She knows more conversations need to happen with Dylan. Brenda lives there they can't ignore each other. They also share a daughter and even a 4 year old will sense friction.

"Will you come somewhere with me?"

Brenda swallows hard and smiles, she doesn't want this night to end so soon, "Sure…anywhere."

Brenda and Jax hold hands walking down the steps of Malibu road to the beach. Brenda pulls back seeing the rocks lining the sand before the endless sand leads to the ocean.

"There is no way." She looks down at her heels.

Jax smiled he bends down gently throwing her over his shoulder. Brenda squeaks hanging upside down. He pats her ass a couple times and Brenda looks at the fact his tight ass in front of her face. She gives it a playful smack that makes Jax laugh out loud. He steps over the rocks with her over his shoulder until the sand hits his feet.

He sets her down as she shakes her head, the blood returning to the rest of her body. She laughs out loud, "You know I could have just taken them off." She jokes as she reaches down taking off her heels letting her bare feet hit the cold sand.

Jax reaches down, taking off his dress shoes and socks and smiles, "I know." His eyebrows lift suggestively. "So maybe I wanted to smack your ass a little."

Brenda giggles, "The truth comes out…maybe you aren't as much of a gentleman as you put off."

Jax grabs her hand again, pulling her into him roughly, "I am a gentleman but it doesn't mean I'm not counting down the time when I finally get you all alone."

Brenda kisses him gently, "We are alone." She whispers against his lips.

He chuckles, "Touché." He walks her out more and finds a place to spread the blanket he brought from his car. They sit and look into the ocean.

"Places like this make me remember the beauty of LA."

Jax sits next to her, one knee up casually, "It is gorgeous here. At least you've travelled the world. I've lived here my whole life. I know…not a bad place to grow up but…someday I'll see the world."

She looks over at him, "Where would you go?" She asks curiously.

"Maybe Paris…down the French Rivera. Italy…Spain…Greece…Ooo Portugal."

Brenda chuckles, "Just a few places. I've been, they're all incredible." She looks out into the crashing waves.

"Have you've been to Ireland?" He asks interested.

She shakes her head, "Not yet."

"Hmmm." He thinks.

She smiles looking at him, "Hmm? What?"

He shrugs a little, "Somewhere I can take you you haven't been before."

Her smile wides then it fades. She recalls Dylan saying the same thing, actually promising her they would go for their anniversary. She looks out into the ocean. They never made it to that anniversary. Another promise he's broken.

"Did I freak you out?" Jax feels the change of energy.

She moves so she is facing him, "No…not at all. I'm just in my head again. I'm sorry."

"Dylan?" He asks as he looks down. He tries to act like he doesn't effect him, but the truth is he does.

Brenda doesn't want to lie to him, she only shrugs, "It's not what you think. Him coming back like that was just a shock I guess, then at the same time…it isn't."

"Yeah…I can imagine. He do that a lot?"

Brenda signs, "Dylan is a very complicated man. He's caring and sweet but he has flaws like all of us do."

Jax nods, "He's always been a man of mystery to me. He's always been nice to me, well not counting recently." Brenda smiles, "But he's always been straight forward and professional. He never quite lets people in though."

Brenda shakes her head, "No…I've known Dylan for 12 years. I think I know him better than anyone then he surprises me."

"You love him still?" Jax looks at her seeing her expression.

Brenda shakes her head, "I'll always love Dylan. He was my first love. We started dating when we were 16 years old. Then we shared an adult relationship in London and have a child together. He'll always be in my life but besides this past month I hadn't heard from or seen him in 5 years."

"Wow…so he wasn't there for Olivia?"

Brenda shakes her head, "He left me and I never told him."

Jax's eyes widen, "You weren't kidding when you said things were complicated." Silence fills them both.

"Look Jax, I like you…I like you a lot and if this is too much just tell me. I wouldn't blame you for not wanting to see where this would go, to invest your heart and time into me with Dylan always around."

Jax smiles lightly, "I think it's too late for that. Brenda." He breathes wrapping his arm around her bringing her against him. They lean back as Brenda cuddles to his chest. He drops a sweet kiss to her head, "I'm already in too deep and part of me thinks I'm insane."

Brenda's head comes up off his chest as she looks at him, "Insane?"

Jax chuckles, "You have the power to absolutely ruin me."

Brenda shakes her head but Jax's lips meet hers as he pulls her so she is face to face. "I like you too and you bring feelings out of me that I don't think I have ever felt. I'm already invested and at this point I'd gladly get my heart broken if it meant I got to be with you like this…even if it was temporary."

Tears fill Brenda's eyes. Her hand goes to his face, "I don't want to hurt you. I want to see where this goes, Dylan and I are over."

Jax smiles he kisses her hungrily, his hand moving up her thigh caressing it, landing on her hip as he squeezes it. Brenda moans her hand gripping his hair roughly deepening the kiss. She moves and swigs her leg over him, straddling him.

"Am I slutty for wanting to sleep with you on the first date?" Brenda says between kisses.

Jax smiles, "Technically its kind of the second date. If you count the club."

"Technicality…I like that your technical." They both laugh as they kiss deeply. Jax's hands grabbing her ass roughing grinding himself to her.

"Maybe we should go back to my place?" Jax breaths out as Brenda kisses his neck, his eyes close as he groans out.

Brenda moves so they are face to face, reality setting in. She swallows hard, should she? She wants to so bad but should she?

Brenda gets off of him and exhales trying to reign her hormones. "Is it too soon?" She looks at Jax as he sits up.

"Yes. But fuck it will be amazing." Brenda laughs.

"No doubt." She replies with a shake of her head. I mean the feelings she is having from just making out with this man are beyond anything she's felt in a while, except Dylan and that thought alone frightens her.

Jax leans back on his hands, "Tell you what, 5 dates. If in 5 dates we are still as crazy about each other as we are right now…we go there. We take that step?"

Brenda takes a deep breath as she looks at him. She'd fuck him right now on this beach in an instant but is it the smartest idea, probably not, that's not her.

"5 dates?" She exhales loudly, "Fuck me…I don't know if I can wait that long."

Jax smirks shyly, "God I know…close to combustion over here." He reaches down and adjusts himself. Brenda bites her lip as she sees the prominent erection.

"We can do it." He moves closer to her. Kissing her lips softly, "5 dates? No guilt…no slutty feelings" Brenda laughs out loud, "No regrets…just 5 dates of getting to know each other."

"Does this count as 1 or 2." She chuckles.

"One." He kisses her again, letting his tongue caress her lip.

Brenda moans out and dramatically falls to her back on the blanket. She looks up at the stars. She looks over at him and smiles, "Fine…5 dates."

He leans over her and kisses her deeply sealing the deal. He kisses down her neck this time, Brenda's eyes close, "Can we do other stuff?" She asks dead serious.

Jax's face meet hers, "My thought exactly." Brenda laughs as he kisses down the slope of her breasts. His finger dips down in the front of her dress as he reveals most of her breast. He sucks her nipple into his mouth and receives a delightful moan as she grabs his head. He kisses down her abdomen over her dress. Brenda is on fire and for one moment she remembers what Iris said about Pieces and Scorpios. She isn't wrong she is hot and wet and so fucking horny. She feels Jax kissing her thigh pushing her dress up.

"Is this ok?" He asks as his tongue drags across it, traveling slowly in between her legs.

"God yes." She breaths. Combustion is the proper word of the night.

Brenda opens her legs as Jax settles between them. His face presses into her panty covered center, inhaling her sweet scent. Brenda's eyes are closed she is somewhere in the abyss in another dimension. She feels him grab her panties roughly forcing them to the side as she grunts out surprised.

"Fuck." She says out loud as his tongue meets her clit. He licks softly, and Brenda's back arches off the blanket. Her hand going to his hair. She pushes herself into him. He groans turned on and increases pressure as he moves it against her faster, pushing his face into her. He is feasting on her in public and she doesn't give a shit. He is good at this. So good at this and she doesn't care about anything at this moment. If 5 dates are going to be like this, exploration and pleasure…she can wait. Brenda bucks at him and he holds her in place. Her moans and breaths fill the space and it only urges him on. Brenda's eyes are tightly shut, light behind them like she sees stars, she gets closer to the cliff of pleasure. It's building, her moans are loud then he enters one finger into her and her head thrashes back again as her hands grab the blanket gripping it. He plunges one a few times then adds another. His tongue is exactly where it should be, the speed exactly how she likes it. His fingers curl and she is done. She is flying, fireworks behind her eyes. He's pumping his fingers into her fast letting her ride out her orgasm.

"Uhhhhh." She shakes against him, once, twice then a third longer as she shuttlers against his face. "Fuuuuuck." She groans loud and unashamed.

She is shaking uncontrollably against him, she came hard, so hard she wasn't sure when was the last time she came that hard. No she remembers and wipes it out of her mind as fast as it seeded into it. He slows letting her come down. Brenda is breathing heavily eyes closed. He licks up her slit one more time causing Brenda to shake and grunt again. Her area incredibly sensitive at this moment. He places a gentle kiss in between her legs to her swollen happy place and fixes her panties into place. He moves up and lays beside her, Brenda hasn't moved yet. She can't move as she catches her breath.

"You are so fucking sexy right now." Jax utters as his hand caresses her covered stomach. Her eyes open.

"God…where the hell did you learn how to do that?" Jax laughs out loud but Brenda has never been more serious. He shakes his head not answering.

She moves quickly, "You're turn." Jax pushes her back down as he moves so she is cuddling into him. "Uh uh. Next time. This was about you."

Brenda looks at him surprised, "You don't want me to return the favor?"

Jax's eyes widen, "Oh I do." He laughs as Brenda joins him. Still high from her orgasm. "Next time. We do have 4 more dates." He utters and leans in kissing her. Then brings her to him again. They cuddle in bliss closing their eyes, falling asleep in each other's arms. What an amazing first date. Only 4 more to go.

Dylan looks at his watch. It's 4am and Brenda is not home yet. _Fuck_ , he screams in his head. Brenda is out with Jax, it's 4 am and she isn't home yet. Things are looking like she is spending the night with him. Olivia isn't talking to him at all. He tried to talk to her during dinner, play with her after. She simply ignored him. He tried to read her a book and tuck her into bed and all Olivia said was I want Grammy and Erica to do it. So Dylan left it alone.

He raised to his feet and went to the window on the side of his front door, peaking out seeing a quiet and empty street. He pushes the drape closed, anger building inside of him. He moves quickly to his small bar he has set up off the living room. He opens cabinets loudly looking for anything. They only thing that he finds is bottles of Brenda's favorite wine and that is not what he wants. He wants scotch…he wants his go to. If he is going to throw away 2 years of sobriety he doesn't want fucking wine. Dylan stands as he hears the keys in the door. He kicks the cabinet closed and turns in time to see Brenda walk into the living room.

"Where the fuck have you been?" He yells.

Brenda freezes. She comes too and rolls her eyes and sets her keys on the table. "Funny that question coming from you."

"I'm serious Brenda…it's 4 o'clock in the morning. You sleep with guys on the first date now? Since when? We break up in London and all of a sudden you become a slut." Dylan glares at her, his voice a harsh reality.

Brenda moves fast her hand coming out and meeting the side of Dylan's face in a hard slap.

"How dare you!" She grits her teeth pointing at him. Anger shaking off of her, "This isn't your business. How fucking dare you." Her voice is raised, tears fill her eyes. She moves around him. She doesn't want to cry in front of him but he grabs her arm pulling her back to him.

His face so close to hers, he smells him on her. His cologne and something else, _her_. He knows it, he knows it well. He lets go of his hold on her arm disgusted.

His eyes close, "You're my business Bren." He practically whispers. "This isn't you."

Brenda crosses her arms, "You don't know me anymore Dylan. And for your information I didn't sleep with him on the first date…you asshole." She swallows he doesn't have to know what they did but sadly she cares what he thinks of her. The only reason she was so late was because they fell asleep on the beach in each others arms. She only woke up to his kisses.

Dylan steps towards her, "You think I don't know you…after 12 years you don't think I know you. I know you better than anyone."

"You haven't known me for a long time Dylan." She says quietly, eyes staring into one another's.

Dylan moves his hand through his hair, "I can't do this Brenda…I can't watch you date him. You're suppose to be with me." He pleads. "We are a family…we have Olivia."

Brenda shakes her head tossing her purse on the table, "Really? Well then why the hell did you leave us then?"

Dylan looks at her, "I don't know…I wasn't going to be gone long…I…just…needed time to process losing you."

Brenda's hand goes to her hip, she shakes her head, "Dylan we're right here. If you would take a moment to realize that we are both right here you'd see that even though we aren't together like that we are still a family."

"And where does Jax fit in all this huh?" His voice raises a little.

Brenda shakes her head again, "No where. We're dating…he isn't trying to move in and take your place Dylan. You would know that if you took the chance to get to know him."

Dylan lets out a laugh, "Yeah…like thats going to happen."

Brenda exhales and moves towards him, her hand comes to his cheek. He leans into it and closes his eyes. He might only have been gone a couple days but he missed her. "You will always be her father Dylan. Nothing is going to change that. If you would get over your jealous asshole self, you'd see there is a girl in there that is begging for you to tell her where you've been. To tell her it wasn't her fault why you left. To come clean and show her who you are. Even the flaws."

He looks at her surprised she knows so much. "I called Iris after dinner to check in." She shrugged, "She said Olivia was ignoring you and it was breaking your heart."

Dylan exhales, "She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you Dylan. She loves you. You're her daddy. She's scared to lose you. She's scared now that she knows you…you're going to disappear."

Dylan's heart stopped, "I know how she feels because I've been feeling the same for 12 years."

"I don't want to leave her. You…Olivia…you guys are my everything." His hands come to the top of her arms. "I love you…both of you."

"Then tell her that." Brenda smiles sadly at him.

"I will." Dylan nods, "And I'm telling you."

Brenda shrugs, "It's too late for us baby." She whispers.

Dylan shakes his head, "No its not."

Brenda stares at him, his eyes imploring hers. He moves quickly taking her lips to his but Brenda pushes him away quickly. "We're not doing this Dylan. I'm seeing Jax I'm sorry if that hurts you." She leans in and kisses his cheek, "I'll always love you Dylan…concentrate on being a father and being there for Olivia…don't worry about me." She moves around him to go to bed.

Dylan looks her way, "I'll always worry about you Bren."

She swallows hard and smiles sadly at him knowing its true. "I'm sorry Brenda…I'm sorry for leaving and I'm sorry for calling you a slut. I know you aren't a slut. You're not even close." He breathes.

Brenda raises her chin, "It's ok but I'm not soprry for hitting you." She nods accepting his apology and climbs the stairs. Dylan shaking his head with a smirk.

Erica raises her head from the coach, that was her bed for the night. Iris had bunked up with Olivia now that Dylan was home. "You're an idiot." She throws the pillow at him. He catches it shaking his head.

"Go to sleep." He throws it back as she laughs. She thinks, "I wonder if Brenda had sex with that hot ass man." She says out loud.

Dylan glares at her, in which Erica giggles, "What? He is." she whistles, "Such a fine piece of as.."

"If you weren't my sister and you weren't a girl…I would kick your ass right now." He interrupts her. He moves and sits next to her. She sits up making room.

"She smelled like him." He sighs sadly.

"Like dirty beach sex?" She wiggles her eyebrows at him.

He moves the pillow over her face and lets go grabbing her and tackling her to the couch. She laughs out loud hitting him in the back. "You're an asshole." He says playfully.

"So are you…calling her a slut, please…you deserved that slap." Dylan stops and tosses the pillow at her again.

He gets serious and exhales, "My heart is breaking…what if she falls in love with him? I've never seen Brenda serious with someone. I mean there was Stewart but…they weren't in love. I could tell. She wanted to be but she was still in love with me."

Erica wraps her arm around him, "She is still in love with you Dylan. That hot piece of ass won't change it." Dylan glares at her. "I can't believe I'm about to say this…quote Iris of all people." She shakes her head with a smile, "Sometimes you have to let them go…to do what their gonna do, and if they come back…they were always yours."

Dylan looks at her again, "And if they don't?"

Erica smiles, "She will."

"I don't think thats how the saying goes, isn't it and if they don't they were never yours?"

Erica smile widens, "Yes…but Dylan…Brenda has always been yours."

Dylan leans in and kisses his sisters forehead with a smirk. "Night squirt."

"Night jackass." Erica lays down pulling the covers over her. Dylan smiles and shakes his head at her…before retreating to his bed for the night. Dylan didn't know how he was going to do this. Sit by and watch Brenda with another man, but there was one thing Dylan was sure of, he wasn't going to lose his daughter over it.

 _Well well well…Dylan is making sense all of a sudden. You know Brenda can't stay away from that man…no matter how good Jax is. So 5 dates before the deed…will it last that long? What do you guys think? Up next. Dylan finally talks to Olivia…Brenda continues to have Jax in her life and Brenda and Erica spend some time together, where Dylan meets Kelly for their weekly coffee date. Hit review lovers! People who do not know Jax…google Ch_ _arlie_ _H_ _unnam_ _…and you're welcome! Also Gina and more with the not telling him and the calls and messages will come back to this story. Probably not next but who knows you never know. REVIEW!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

 _Time Will Tell_

Dylan pulled his left arm through the sleeve of his white t-shirt. It was only seven am. He went to bed after four but didn't think he slept at all. His mind working in over time. Thinking about everything Brenda had said to him. About them being a family whether they were a couple or not, saying that Olivia was waiting for an explanation on why he left, for him to tell her it wasn't her fault and the words she spoke so seriously, _its too late for us baby._ Did she really believe that?

He walked into the hallway, the house quiet and in slumber. He knew Olivia well enough that in thirty minutes she'd be up and Dylan wanted to talk to her, he wanted to make her breakfast, her favorite mickey mouse shaped chocolate chip pancakes and try to explain to her how much she meant to him. He wanted to talk to Brenda, if she had his back maybe Olivia would actually give him the time to explain himself.

He came to Brenda's room, her door ajar. He knocked on the doorframe peaking inside. Her bed wasn't made and she wasn't in it. Dylan knew Brenda had rehearsals on Sunday's so he knew she'd be up no matter what time she had gotten home last night. He walked in timidly, seeing her bathroom door closed and the sound of the shower on. His attention came across a box, sitting on the bench Brenda had at the foot of her bed. He walked over to it, he glanced towards the bathroom still hearing the water running. He reached in taking a handful of pictures out. He smiled lightly seeing the two of them. Sitting on the top of the seats of his Porsche in Baja, a spring dance photo, posed cheek to cheek. Brenda smiling with closed lips looking guilty as sin, Dylan a grin a mile long. That dance was a special night. He fingered through seeing them at West Beverly, sitting on a bench in the quad at lunch. His arm draped around her shoulders lazily as she leaned into him. London…so many pictures of them in London. Dylan smiled wider seeing a picture of Brenda on Dylan's back, piggy back style. She held a USA flag in one hand and the white and red flag of England in the other. They had played each other fighting for a seat at the World Cup. England had won that day and the streets celebrated for days. A picture of them kissing, Big Ben in the background. There must have been 20 pictures of them around the west end, after plays posed together, in parks, Rome, Spain, Portugal, Greece. They travelled the world in the three years they were together. He flipped through the pictures then he froze. It was Brenda and Brandon, Brandon's head close to her pregnant belly, he pointed at it playfully in the picture, wide eyes, mouth open as Brenda smiled wide flipping him off. His index finger ran down her as he stared at her belly. He flipped it to the back of the pile as tears filled his eyes. There Brenda stood to the side, her belly not overly large but knowingly pregnant. Her hand on her prominent belly, a smile on her pretty face. He stared at it. He had missed all of this. He set the pictures to the side and reached in taking a brown leather book from the box. He recognized it from his days with Brenda. It was her journal. He opened it randomly and read.

 _God I miss him. I miss him and hate him at the same time. How is that even possible? I'm alone…he never called me. I left messages begging him to call me back. I'm embarrassed to even admit the last one I was in tears, sobbing uncontrollably that I needed him. Did I mean that little to him? Here I am three months pregnant, alone and utterly heartbroken. I didn't want to to tell him I was pregnant over the message. Maybe I should have?_

Dylan turned the page still hearing the shower running. He knew it was wrong to read her journal but he deserved this. He deserved to read what he did to her.

 _I broke down and called him, a woman answered, at first my heart stopped thinking this was a girlfriend. He's moved on, then when I asked for him she said I had the wrong number, after of course asking who the fuck I was. Did he change it because of me? Because I had called and left those messages? When I asked her who she was she said her name was Gina. I don't know a Gina. I don't think I want to know who Gina is._

Dylan sobbed out the breath he was holding. He flipped the page.

 _I was hospitalized this past weekend. My ob/gyn says I have to gain weight, she said because of the morning sickness I'm dehydrated and the baby should be bigger. I didn't have the balls to tell her I hardly ever eat and it isn't because of morning sickness. My heart is utterly broken. If Dylan McKay had shattered me senior year of high school by cheating on me and falling in love with my best friend, it's nothing compared to the despair I feel this time. My thoughts are dark, like maybe I made the wrong decision in keeping this baby. How am I going to look at her everyday and not think of him. He clouds my every thought. I cry myself to sleep every night, he appears in my dreams. Sometimes he's giving me that smirk or playfully giving me a hard time, sometimes he's cuddling with me, rubbing my belly and talking to our unborn child and then sometimes he's looking at me like he did that morning he left. His eyes are telling me he doesn't want me. He can't do this anymore. He's seeing Kelly or trying to get her back…Brandon called trying to pretend he isn't effected but I know he is. I meant nothing. Steve told him he came back for her, he left me in London and went back to Beverly Hills because he missed her. I can't deal with this. I hate him. I hate him for making me love him this much. What the fuck does Kelly have that I don't._

Dylan slammed the book closed, tears falling from his eyes. He broke her…again. His head looked towards the bathroom as he hears the water shut off. He places the journal quickly back in the box, along with the pictures he had looked at. He held the picture of Brenda pregnant alone taking it with him. He walks into his bedroom, opening his bed side table drawer placing the picture in there. He goes to the bathroom, splashing water on her face. He stares at his refection. He left his pregnant girlfriend all alone, broken, apparently sick, unhealthy, completely and utterly shattered. No wonder she was moving on. No wonder she didn't trust his love for her. He'd never showed her anything else. No wonder she stated so truthfully last night it was too late. Dylan dried his face and shook his head disgusted with himself. He grabbed his phone not caring it was early scrolling his contacts. It had been so long since he contacted her. Years even, not since she was living in LA. He hit Gina Kincaid and typed a text.

 _ **Dylan: Gina…It's Dylan. I'm not sure if this is still your number, I have to talk to you. It's really important. Please call me.**_

He stuck the phone in his back pocket knowing he had given Brenda enough time to dress after her shower. He peaked into her bedroom seeing her sitting on her bed. Moving a brush through her long wet brown hair. He knocked on the frame again. Her eyes meeting his.

"Hey." She said surprised, "You're up early." She commented.

Dylan exhaled his hands in his pocket as he moved into her room. "Look Brenda about last night…"

"Dylan it's okay." She gave him a small smile. Fuck he didn't deserve this woman at all.

"It's not okay. I was an ass and I was jealous and I know I had no right to call you names or butt into your social life."

Brenda visibly swallowed hard, "I hate hurting you Dylan." She whispered.

Dylan moved and sat next to her. "Bren." He breathed, "You did nothing wrong. You went on a date with a guy you like. It's not my business."

Brenda sat silent, so Dylan continued, "I know Olivia will be up soon and I'm hoping she will give me a chance to talk to her, explain to her…"

Brenda's hand came out and lay on top of his, "I got you." She smiled at him.

Dylan looked down, guilt riddled through his core. No he didn't deserve this woman. He never had, he didn't think he ever would. "Thank you." He whispered.

As if fate would have it, little feet padded across the wood flooring. She stopped in Brenda's doorway looking at her mother and father sitting on the bed. As Olivia was about to turn away Brenda spoke up.

"Olivia…come here sweetheart." Olivia slowly came into the room.

"Yes mommy?"

"We wanted to talk to you." Olivia looked to her feet but made her way into the bedroom. Brenda scooped her up and set her on her lap facing Dylan.

"You know how much we love you sweetheart…me and daddy love you very much."

Olivia looked at Dylan, sadness in her eyes then looked into her mothers. She nodded quietly.

"Baby." Dylan breathes reaching for her setting her in his lap, Brenda gets up quietly. She winks at Dylan and makes her way into her bathroom closing the door giving them privacy. Dylan continues, "You are the most important person in my life. I know your mad at daddy and I'm so so sorry that I hurt you."

Olivia let go of the wall she set up, "Did I do something?"

Dylan shakes his head with tears in his eyes, "No you didn't do anything princess, you're perfect. It's daddy. Sometimes I don't know how to handle stuff. Adult stuff. What I should do, is talk it out, sleep on it, what I did was run away, it was about me not you sweetheart, none of it was your fault. Daddy needs a little help dealing with problems."

"I can help you." She says innocently and Dylan smiles.

Olivia has tears in her eyes, "I missed you." She throws her arms around her dads neck.

Dylan closes his eyes, his hand going to the back of her little head as she squeezes him, "I missed you too…every minute of everyday."

Olivia keeps her arms wrapped around his neck, She leans her forehead against his, "I love you daddy…don't ever do that again."

Dylan's hand runs down the back of her head as he kisses her forehead then looks into her eyes. "I promise I'll never leave you again. And even if for some crazy reason I have too…you'll be the first one I tell. But Olivia I will always come back. You're my daughter…we will always be in each others life…we're family."

"And mommy too?"

Dylan nods sadly, "Mommy too."

"Pinkie swear." She holds her little pinkie up in between them.

Dylan smiles and nods meeting his pinkie with hers as they shake on it.

Brenda peaks silently out of the bathroom watching the two make up. She watches Dylan take the cable car out of his pocket and give it back to his daughter. She apologizes for being a mean girl and that she really likes the present. Brenda smiles seeing the two of them. Her heart aches. Her and Dylan might have not made it for the long haul but she knows he truly loves their daughter and nothing is more important than that.

"Come on Oli girl…let's go make breakfast." Dylan gets up holding her in his arms as they leave Brenda's bedroom. She walks into her bedroom, a smile on her face glad the two have made up. She grabs the phone as it chimes in her hand. Seeing a text from Jax she opens it up and reads.

 _ **Jax: Good morning beautiful. Thank you for an amazing night. Have a good rehearsal, why don't you drop by the after dark tonight? I'll hold my best table for you and your friends.**_

Brenda smiles as she types her reply.

 _ **Brenda: Is this date #2?**_

 _ **Jax: No…gimme be more credit than that beautiful. I just want to see you. Do you think Dylan's mom would mind watching her again?**_

 _ **Brenda: I'll ask her, I bet Erica would love to go out. Dylan might want to come too though (EEK emoji) Is that alright?**_

 _ **Jax: His club Brenda…I don't care.**_

Brenda takes a deep breath, it doesn't really sound alright. She clicks call on her phone and he picks up after one ring.

"Hey sweetie."

"Hey…I didn't mean to upset you."

"Bren…it's fine…I'm not upset."

"No?" Her voice coaxing.

Jax chuckles a little being caught, "No…I'm not. Dylan's sister is in town, of course he'd want to hang out too. Brenda." He breathes out into the phone, "I care about you and Dylan is in your life. It's something that I'm getting used to. Tell me you're with me and I won't care."

"I'm with you." She whispers.

"Save me a dance beautiful." There is a smile in his voice now.

"I will…I'll talk to them at breakfast and I'll text you and let you know the details."

"Sounds good. Have a good day."

"You too."

"Bye sweetie."

"Bye." Brenda hits end on her phone. She smiles at his cuteness and the fact that he is one of the most honest guys she has ever met. She really wants this to work out with him. She can see herself falling in love with him. She _wants_ to fall in love with him.

Dylan stirs the batter making Olivia giggle. "Daddy?"

Dylan smiles at her, "Yes Olivia?"

"Do you love Mommy?"

Dylan's stops stirring and looks at her, the smile fading from his face. "Of course I love mommy, why do you ask?"

Olivia shrugs, "I don't mean do you love her like you love me or grammy or auntie…like do you love her love her?"

Dylan pushes the pancake mix to the side a little and leans on his elbows. "What do you know about love anyway?"

"Well…Samantha Miller…she says that when people love each other they make babies and since I was a baby once…I thought you and mommy loved each other so much you made me."

Dylan smiles, "Well…that's true."

"But…if you love each other so much to make a baby…how come she went on a date with Jax? Is she going to make a baby with Jax too?"

Dylan leans up and sighs loudly, "She better not, fuck no." He mumbles low.

"What?" Olivia looked up not hearing him.

"Nothing." Dylan shook his head to get that thought out of his head, "Olivia I can't speak for mommy…but I have known your mom practically half my life. I have never loved a woman like I love your mom. Never. As for Jax that's a conversation you'll have to have with her sweetheart. But as for me…your mom is the only person I love enough to make babies with."

Olivia smiles wide, "So…can you guys make more babies then? I want a sister!"

Dylan laughs out loud, "We'll see. Please tell me Samantha Miller didn't explain how babies are made?"

She looks at him confused and shrugs sweetly, "No." She says honestly.

Dylan chuckles, "Good."

"We'll see huh…you didn't say no daddy." Olivia smiles her toothy grin at him.

He continues to chuckle at her innocence, "No…I'm definitely not saying no." He grabs the bowl and begins mixing again. Every so often he looks at her. Beautiful, innocent, sweet, smart and utterly perfect. Him and Brenda having another one like her. One that he can be around for the whole time. To see that picture of Brenda pregnant that he snuck in his drawer in person. No he isn't saying no, that's a hard yes from him.

"Morning." Iris sang as she came into the kitchen. She kissed Olivia and Dylan's cheek making him make a face that causes Olivia to laugh before leaning away. Erica behind her looking like she got no sleep what so ever and Brenda, fresh showered and dressed for the day. Dylan doesn't say anything out loud but this is the best day ever. Brenda, his daughter, his sister and mom all having breakfast together. It's a scene he wishes would repeat over and over again.

"Oh hey…Erica…you want to go out tonight? Your brother over here owns a club and I mean its not like we don't know the owner." Brenda smiles at Dylan and he smirks.

"God yes! That would be awesome!" Erica responds excitedly. Now being of legal drinking age.

Dylan looks down knowing Brenda might be spending time with his sister but Jax will be there too.

"You down too?" She gets his attention, "I mean if Iris doesn't mind hanging with Olivia again so we all can catch up, show Erica a good time."

She looks at Iris in return smiles hugely. "I do not mind at all!"

Brenda's eyes meet Dylan's again, she lifts one shoulder and smiles at him, "You interested in spending time with us girls?"

Dylan thinks about it. Yes he is very interested but could he would he be able to be nice and watch the love of his life with someone else? His eyes find Olivia's she smiles at him and nods. Like she likes the idea even though she has no idea what a night at the club would even entail. "Sure why not." He exhales. This should be quite interesting.

After breakfast and spending time as a family Brenda is off to rehearsal, she made plans to meet Erica by 3:30 some shopping girl time. Erica making it known at breakfast she was in desperate need of going out clothes. They had left campus so fast she hadn't thought about bringing anything like that. Iris plans to bring Olivia to the library for a story book reading that both are excited to do together so Dylan texts Kelly asking if she was available for their weekly coffee date on Dohney. Something that he had missed several weeks in a row.

He enters the coffee shop seeing Kelly at their normal table. She stands and hugs him tightly Dylan thanking her for meeting him.

"So…you're back?" Kelly eyes him sipping her coffee as he takes a seat across from her.

"You knew about that?" Dylan asks her confused. I mean shit what did happen in those two days?

Kelly smiles and nods, "Brenda called me…she wanted to know if I had talked to you, knew were you went."

Dylan looked down, "I keep messing up Kel. I don't know how to not be my old self right now. I went to Jax and laid out my claim on her, only making her angry and more open to date him, I leave not only Brenda to fend for herself with finding someone to watch Olivia and for her to have to explain to our daughter where I've disappeared too, when she didn't even know herself, and I left my daughter confused and heartbroken as to why I left to begin with. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Kelly's hand comes over his, "You love her. Plain and simple. Love makes us do really weird things."

The barista comes over then, Dylan removing his hand from under Kelly's as he leans back to give her his order. She walks away and he looks at Kelly again, "Brenda went on a date with Jax last night."

Kelly clears her throat and nods, "I know." She says quietly.

Dylan rolls his eyes, "This is weird. You've been my go to for a long time, now Brenda is back and it seems you might be her go to too."

Kelly chuckles, "I don't know about that but Brenda and I are friends. We've always been friends…at least when you weren't in between us." Dylan shakes his head with a smirk knowing that's the truth. "So what she went on a date with him. It's just a date."

Dylan stares at her, "Kelly…I don't know, she is pushing herself to Jax because she doesn't want me. I know Brenda cares about me, I know a part of her will always love me but I hurt her. I hurt her so badly I don't think she will ever go there again with me for fear I'd do it again."

Kelly's head tilts and she exhales, "I think you forget how much influence you have on Brenda's heart Dylan…you always have."

Dylan smiles nicely at the barista as she sets his coffee in front of him, he only shrugs. He doesn't feel that way at all. He feels he has no influence on her what so ever. Five years is a long time for that influence to fade. "So…whats knew with you?" He takes a sip of his coffee trying to chance the subject.

Kelly smiles knowing he is, she raises her coffee cup to her lips, "Brandon called me a couple days ago." She completes her sip.

Dylan's eyes widen, "Really? How did that go?"

Kelly clears her throat and sets her cup down, "He called me asking how Brenda was. He said he had talked to you the night of Olivia's birthday party and you didn't sound good. He didn't want to bother Bren with his worry…so he was reaching out to make sure she was okay." Kelly sadly shrugs.

"Ah…I see." Dylan knows Kelly is saddened for Brandon's reasoning of calling. It wasn't to see how she was, it was to secretly check in on his sister which of course is fine and acceptable. But the look in her eyes tells Dylan, she wished it was to check on her as well.

"I mean…It was fine…he's doing well, just got back to Washington from Germany and it was good hearing his voice." Kelly looks down.

"Kel?" Kelly's eyes meet his, "Why don't you just tell him?"

"Tell him what?" Kelly plays dumb.

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "Tell him that you miss him. Tell him that you want to be with him." Dylan looks into her eyes with seriousness, "Tell him you still love him."

Kelly shakes her head leaning back in her chair. "What's the use? He lives in Washington, I live here, we haven't been together in over 5 years. If he felt the same, he would have called me sooner. Told me." Kelly shrugs sadly, "Maybe its too late for us?" She says quietly.

Dylan and Kelly look down and silence reigns over the two friends. Each lost in their own heads, 5 years apart for both of them. Kelly and Brandon, Dylan and Brenda…maybe it was too late?

Brenda giggles at a joke Erica said as she browses the rack.

"So…how's Jax?" Erica wiggles her eyebrows at her causing Brenda to laugh.

"It's good…you know…new but good." Brenda answers honestly.

Erica nods with a smirk, "And the date last night…was that "good" too?"

Brenda chuckles and shakes her head, "I didn't sleep with him Erica." Brenda eyes her as Erica gives her a look she is waiting for more. "But…"

Erica moves quickly getting close to her, "I knew it. What happened?"

"We went to Nobu, the food was incredible. He took me to Malibu Rd, we talked…"

"Talked? That's it? Come on Bren…" Erica urged her.

Brenda looks at Erica, she had become one of her best friends even with the years between them. Yes she was Dylan's sister but for the past five years, Erica had been her friend. She knew she could trust her with anything. "We kissed…made out." Erica smiled, "He went down on me." She said so fast and quiet it made Erica double take.

"WHAT?" She said with a smile, "On the beach?" She laughed out loud and clapped her hands a couple times. "So…was it "good"?"

Brenda looked around to make sure no one was in ear shot, She leaned in, "It was amazing."

Erica and her giggled like school girls. "Oh my god. Brenda he is fine. Like TV movie fine. It's like he isn't even real, is he all looks or is there more to that face?"

Brenda looks through the rack again, "He's more. He is one of the nicest, sweetest, honest guys I have ever met." Erica notices as she says all these incredible things about him, the smile doesn't quite hit her eyes.

"But?" Erica looks at her.

Brenda exhales, "Don't get me wrong, I can see myself with him. He makes me feel special. Hot bothered all the things you want to feel, when I'm with him, I feel on fire…but."

Brenda swallows hard, "He's not Dylan." She says sadly.

Erica nods and silence fills the space around them. She opens her mouth to say something but Brenda beats her to it, "I know its new and now that Dylan is in my life its only natural. Dylan and I are so over. I mean…I can't be this girl anymore Erica. I can't be the girl thats hung up on Dylan McKay forever. Jax is nice. He's literally a catch and I would be stupid if I didn't give it a chance."

Erica tilts her head back and forth, "I guess but you can't make yourself love someone else…if you heart belongs to Dylan." She shrugs, "I mean it will only be a matter of time."

Brenda takes a deep breath, "I don't want to love Dylan. He has ripped my heart out time and time again. Jax is good for me. I like him. I like the way he makes me feel. I feel 16 all over again. It's exciting and new."

"But." Erica laughs again.

"No Erica…no but…its an and. Its an and…he hasn't hurt me. It's fresh. There is no baggage and hurt feelings. He hasn't broke my heart and being with Dylan…opens ups all these old wounds." Brenda exhales tears brim her eyes as she looks at Dylan's sister, "Jax can give me something that Dylan can never give me."

Tears fill Erica's eyes as well, "Like what?" She whispers.

"A clean slate. No painful memories that I'm always trying to forget, No addictions to hope against."

"Bren." Erica whispers knowing their past, knowing her brothers past.

Brenda gives her a small smile, "Dylan…will always be in my life. And it might not work out with Jax, that's just something time will us. But nothing is going to take away the pain Dylan has brought me in my life. It's always been him and he's always been too afraid of it. Just because he claims now he's ready doesn't take away the ache in my heart that's heard it all before." Brenda takes a deep breath, "I love Dylan…I'll always love Dylan but I feel like it's time to love me more. Give Jax a chance" she shrugs, "See where it will go. Does that make sense?"

Erica nods knowing it does, it makes perfect sense. She looks down taking in the silence grabbing a cute top off the rack, she smiles at her, "You think this would look good on me? For tonight?"

Brenda smiles and nods, "Yeah…I think it would be perfect on you." And just like that, Dylan is dropped from the conversation. Both knowing that Brenda will never love anyone like she loves Dylan but Dylan has done a number on her and sadly no matter how much Erica wants them to work it out, there is so much truth to what she is saying too. Time will tell. Time will tell them both everything they need to know.

Dylan comes in to his house after coffee with Kelly. He calls out seeing Iris not back from the library with Olivia yet. He walks into the kitchen, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge. He sets it down hearing his phone ring. His hand reaches into the back of his pocket and looks at the caller ID. Gina Kincaid flashes on the screen. His eyes widen as he hits accept and brings it to his ear.

"Gina?" His voice nervous.

"Hey Dylan…god it's been forever…how are you?" Gina sounds genuinely happy to hear from him.

Dylan clears his throat, "Fine…fine I'm good, you?" He is trying to find the right words to say to her. It's been so long since this happened. Would she even remember?

"I'm great!" Silence reigns over the phone. It's been awhile since they talked. "So…Dylan…what's going on? What was so important that you had to talk to me?"

Dylan exhales, "Gina…we've always been honest with each other, at least I always thought we were there for each other. Meant something to each other. Supported each other."

"Oh course Dylan…always."

"Do you know who Brenda is?" He comes out and asks. His voice harsher than he meant.

Silence again. "Gina?" Dylan asks hoping she hasn't hung up on him. "Do you? Do you know who she is?" A beat passes.

"Yeah…yeah I know who Brenda is."

 _I'm so mean for ending it that way! Next up Dylan finds out what Gina has done. Dylan, Erica, Donna, David, Steve, Janet, Kelly and Brenda have a night out at the After Dark. And Brenda and Jax have their second date. While someone comes back to Beverly Hills…any guesses? Probably not the first person that comes into your mind but would love to hear your guesses. Hit review my BD fans. This story is heating up!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Looky here…2 chapters in one day. I thought I'd be nice since I got such nice reviews. Here you are…enjoy!_

 _Chapter 16_

 _The Tapes_

Dylan's eyes close as he grips the phone in his hand, "Who is she Gina?" He breaths into the phone. "Tell me who she is?" He demands.

"You're old girlfriend." She answers equally as soft.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" He speaks quietly. Trying to reign in his anger.

Gina sighs, "Dylan…I'm sorry. I know she called, I told her she had the wrong number, she kept calling leaving messages and I asked Donna about her, she told me she was an old girlfriend with a lot of history. You were jerking me around…cheating on me…pining after Kelly…"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?" Dylan yels into the phone. Messages she knew about the messages?

"Dylan?" Gina's voice breaks.

"She was calling me, leaving messages to tell me I was going to be a father! I have a 4 year old daughter Gina…how could you do that to me? Do you have any idea what I've lost? What I've missed…I have a little girl Gina that I just fucking met!" Dylan is shaking with anger.

"What?" Gina whispered, "No?" She breathed. "Oh my god."

"Please tell me you didn't know…just please say you didn't somehow know why she was calling please tell me you didn't know?" Dylan was panicked, "Please tell me you're not that much of a heartless bitch."

"I…I didn't know…I swear on my life Dylan. I was just jealous. I didn't even tell Donna why I was asking. She said you guys went out in High School. Then you broke it off and went out with Kelly. She said that after your wife died you went to her in London, where you lived together for a number of years. That you were with her before moving back to LA. Oh my God." Gina whispered, "I'm so sorry Dylan…I didn't know…I swear I didn't know."

"I gotta go." He can't listen to her another second. Dylan lifts the phone away from his ear.

He hears Gina muffled cry, "Dylan? I have…" click. He shuts his phone hanging up.

"Fucking Bitch!" Dylan chucks his cell phone, it hits the wall with a crack, it breaking from the impact.

"Dylan?" Brenda stops with Erica by her side. Dylan's eyes met hers, frightened eyes stare back. She slowly moves her shopping bag to the counter and walks towards him, "You ok?" She asked hesitantly.

She hadn't seen Dylan's temper like this in a long time. And even though they've had their share of arguments lately, never has she seen anger in his eyes like this.

"Fuck." He grits his teeth turning from her, his hands ringing into his hair. Brenda looks at Erica, begging with her eyes to give them a second. Erica silently nods, grabbing Brenda's shopping bag and heading up to the bedroom to give them privacy.

"Dylan? Look at me…what happened?" She reaches out tentatively. As her hand gently touches his arm, he roughly embraces her as he cries into her neck. Slowly her arms wrap around him, "What happened?" She whispers tearing up herself. She couldn't help but hurt if he hurt.

"Gina…she knew…she knew who you were when you called…the messages," He sobbed, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I didn't meant too. I swear Brenda…I didn't mean too."

Brenda's eyes closed as she rubs his back tenderly, "It's okay…it's okay now Dylan." She coos.

He moves to look at her face, "How you can say that…it isn't fucking ok? She knew you were important and she kept those calls from me on purpose…cause she was jealous and selfish…and a bitch." Brenda reaches for his face but he angrily pulls away.

"I wish I could go back. I wish I could do everything all over. Never come back here, never met her. She fucking ruined everything Brenda. The time I'll never get back." Brenda's hands lay on his face. He takes two deep calming breaths and looked into her eyes. "I'm…sorry." He whispers.

She grabs his hand, "Come on." Dylan silently follows her. "Sit." She forces him to sit on the couch. "I was having these made for your birthday next month. They aren't done." She moves around the living room opening one of the many closets on the first floor. She takes out a box. Dylan watches her curiously as she carries it over. She sets it gently on the coffee table and sits next to him. She grabs an album and leans back against his side and chest. Dylan naturally bringing his arm around her snuggling her against him. Brenda opens the album. The front page reads…To Daddy…Happy Birthday…Love you forever Olivia. Dylan smiles, Brenda turning the page.

Year one, turning the page again.

A picture of her pregnancy test, bright two lines stared back at him, "I took it for Brandon. I sent it to him through email after I had been trying to get a hold of him for 2 weeks." Brenda laughs, "It worked he called me back the minute he saw it." Dylan chuckles with tears in his eyes.

She turns the page, an ultrasound picture. Showing what looked like nothing as Brenda points it out. Then one later in her pregnancy where you could see the baby. Typed on the photo it says, It's a girl!

Dylan now flips the page, belly pics of Brenda starting at 8 weeks through 37 weeks covered the next pages. "This is everything you missed the first year." She whispers.

Hospital pics, new born pics, all the way up until her first birthday. Brenda leans forward, looking in the box grabbing another album, "One for every year. The last from her 4th birthday with me and you and Olivia." Pre Jax news. As she points out the picture in the last book. The three of them huddled together. Dylan holding Olivia as he hugsBrenda into him. Dylan breaths out. Tears falling from his face.

His lips hit her temple, her cheek, her neck under her ear, "Thank You." He breaths. Dylan's birthday wasn't for a few weeks. It didn't matter this was the best present he had ever gotten.

Brenda looks at him and smiles sadly. "It was the least I could do."

His face close to hers. His hot breath hitting her face. He leans in and gently kissed her lips. "Thank you…thank you." He kisses her again. Then without thinking, she deepens it. His hand comes to the back of her head, the album sliding to the floor. His tongue enters her mouth and roughly caresses hers. Her hands come to his face, the weight of his body leaning into her, her back against the couch. Soon Dylan is over her and they are passionately kissing and groping. Brenda pulls away suddenly. "Oh no…no no no." She rolled out from underneath him getting up and pointing with both index fingers. "No…no…Noooooo." She closes her eyes shaking her head. Her hand comes to her face. "My god what's wrong with me?" She says out loud but to herself, for herself.

Dylan gets up quickly. He stops her freak out by placing his hands on her arms.

Brenda looks at him tears in her eyes, "Please don't…I'm with Jax…I'm with him now."

"I know he's the safe choice Brenda but he's the wrong choice. This isn't 5 years ago, this is a new start a fresh start. I've changed Bren." He begs.

She backs up a little his hands falling from her arms, she nods, "I know…but I've changed too." She looks to the ceiling reigning in her tears, "I have loved you…and I'm sure I'm going to love you for the rest of my life…but I'm with him now." Dylan shakes his head. "I'm looking for this clean slate Dylan…you can't give me that. He can. I don't want to worry about you leaving me again, or you sleeping with Kelly, you going back to booze or drugs." Dylan shakes his head again.

"I've been sober two years Brenda, you can't deny this…this feeling…even my recovery you've seen me… you've seen me with Olivia…I mean we have a daughter."

Brenda grabs his hands in hers. He holds them tightly. "I know Dylan…I know and we're going to raise her together. Our lives will always be connected."

Dylan looks deeply into her eyes, "But…there is more than that, we also love each other." Brenda shakes her head letting go and Dylan grabs her hands again, "We're _in love_ with each other baby." He emphasizes.

Brenda shakes her head again pulling away from him, turning her back away as he continues, "That's just the truth no matter what you tell yourself, or what you tell him."

Brenda paces and turns back to him, She takes a deep breath, "I need you to listen to me Dylan."

He cuts her off, "Brenda…there is nothing we have-not been through I get it but we made it through it. Here we are, having being together in the palm of our hands, and I happen to believe that all of it, the break ups and hurt and pain…it was meant to happen so we can take this opportunity right now to put it all behind us and be together finally." He reaches for her hand again. He caresses it lightly.

"Dylan…I'm with Jax." She whispers. He takes her hand to his lips and kisses it, then moves his mouth to the inside of her wrist, kissing it. Brenda squeezes her eyes shut tears falling down her cheeks, He moves up and kisses the inside of her elbow, her shoulder, he rests his forehead against hers, he closes his eyes, "Tell me you don't feel that…and I'll let go." He breaths against her lips.

Brenda whimpers out a cry. She feels it, she feels it everywhere but she can't go here with him again. He gently kisses her forehead, her cheek, then her mouth. Then Brenda comes too. She pushes at him roughly.

"I can't…do this with you." Her hand comes over her mouth and she sobs out, "I'm sorry…I can't." She turns and runs out of the room in tears. Dylan watching her leave.

The rest of the night goes by awkwardly. They all have dinner as a family. Brenda gives Olivia her bath and is happy to spend time with her daughter. Iris and Olivia are watching a movie as the girls are getting ready. Brenda and Dylan avoiding each other. Only speaking to each other when needed. Soon they are all at the After Dark, sitting at the two tables Jax has reserved for them. Brenda had invited the whole gang to see Erica and spend time with her and conversation and laughs fall around the group easily.

Jax comes to the table smiling down at them. "Hey guys." Brenda smiles and stands. She hugs him tightly as Dylan looks down. She stays by his side as his arm wraps around her, "Amanda here is your server for the night, to get you guys whatever you want." Jax introduces their personal waitress for the night. "Let me know if you need anything." He says nicely.

Thanks and thank you's float around the group as Brenda and Jax walk away from the table. Dylan grips his soda water, wishing it was stronger as he watches them. Erica pushes her shoulder into his. She smiles at him when his attention finds hers and not on the happy couple. She leans in and whippers, "Dance with me?" She eyes him. He swallows hard and nods as she leads him on to the dance floor. She holds her brothers hand in one hand, her arm lazily on his shoulder as they sway to the slow song. "I know what happened." He looks at her. He looks at her confused, "Brenda…she was in tears when she came to her room. I heard some…but she told me the gist of it…Dylan." She breathes.

"I get it I do…but…I know she loves me Erica and that's why it's so hard for me to except it. This Jax thing. It's not real. What we have is real."

Erica nods, "I know…but Dylan…you need to ease up. You need to give her a chance to realize it on her own. I get her reasonings." Dylan looks at her hurt and tries to pull away just as Erica pulls him back, "I'm sorry but I do."

He looks at his sister, "You understand what I'm saying right? Ease up…let it be. She will be back Dylan. I promise you…she will be back." Dylan looks in the direction of Brenda and Jax. They aren't flaunting their relationship just hanging out. She is smiling and laughing at whatever he is saying and she looks genuinely happy. He exhales and looks at Erica, "Trust me." She whispers with a nod.

Dylan pulls her into a hug as they sway, he doesn't say anything all he does is nod against her head trusting it. Trusting her, trusting their love. He'll ease off.

Brenda looks at Jax and exhales, "Can we talk somewhere…private."

Jax looks at her, his heart stopping for a moment, she looks sad and serious. He nods, "Yeah." He takes her hand and pulls her gently through the crowd, up the stairs into the office. Brenda goes in and takes a seat on the couch as Jax closes the door. He looks at her and moves in sitting next to her. "What's going on?" His hand comes to her thigh as he looks into her eyes.

Brenda take a deep breath, "I wanted to tell you what happened today because I want this to work between us and I feel like honesty is the best way for this thing we have to start."

Jax swallows hard and nods, "Okay." He says gently.

"I kissed Dylan today." She closes her eyes and waits for his reaction. He is quiet so her eyes open as she looks at him.

He exhales and faces forward, his elbows find his knees, "How? Why?" He says calmly.

Brenda explains about Gina, starting with who she is, how she found Dylan angry in the kitchen, the early birthday present and what caused the kiss. Jax is looking down his hands grasped together.

Brenda anxiously continues, "I told him that I couldn't go there with him, that I was with you. Please don't hate me…don't be mad." She whispers.

Jax looks at her and shakes his head, "Brenda…I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't upset me. Just tell me I'm not wasting my time." He looks into her eyes.

"Jax…you are not wasting your time. I'm with you. It was a one time thing and I stopped it from going too far and it was just kissing. I swear that's all it was."

Jax gets up and paces once, his hand comes across his mouth as he breathes out.

Brenda stands up, "Jax…I'm telling you because I want to be honest."

He stops and looks at her, he nods, "I know sweetie…I know. I appreciate it I do…this is just…a lot."

Brenda nods nervously. She knew when she had decided she was going to tell Jax, it may be too much and since they were so new maybe he would think she wasn't worth it. It was a risk she was willing to take. She didn't want to go into this relationship like that, from someplace dishonest.

He stares at her, his face a little softer, he moves into her and kisses her roughly. Brenda is at first surprised but it soon turns to heat as she deepens the kiss, allowing him to move her to the couch. He is over her, in between her legs kissing her, sucking her neck, grabbing at her breasts. He groans and slows, kissing her gently. Hovering over her as she catches her breath.

"Part of me wants to claim you on this couch because this is his fucking office." He whispers harshly. He closes his eyes and reigns in his need to make her his. "4 more dates." He whispers calming his emotions and hormones. Brenda smiles and giggles softly. She kisses him gently. He deepens the kiss letting his tongue dance with hers deliciously. He leans up kissing her in-between her breasts, "You look sexy tonight." He comments innocently taking in her black form fitted strapless dress in again. He gets up and reaches his hand out to her, helping her to her feet.

He pecks her lips sweetly but doesn't say anything.

She shakes her head serious, "It won't happen again." She promises.

He nods kissing her forehead. "Go join your friends. Let me check on things downstairs then I'll join you guys."

Brenda nods, "You're amazing." She whispers as she kisses him again before heading towards the door. She opens it and looks at him. She gives him a sad smile which he returns knowing he is weirded out, but he's trying he's trying to put it aside because she is important. She's important to him already and he wasn't lying before, he's invested. She moves through the door.

"Bren." She turns around again in the doorway, "Thanks for being honest with me."

She nods and leaves Jax alone. He exhales his fingers finding his hair. His eyes close as he shakes his head trying to not be upset, angry. Jax isn't an overly jealous guy but Dylan rubs him the wrong way and he wishes he could just sock him. A good one right in the face knowing it will feel so good. He also knows that won't make this any better either. He is going to trust Brenda. He is going to be in control and be an adult about this and if he does it again…then he'll punch him.

Jax does check on the bar and his employees and works a little. Then towards the end of the night he joins the group. He doesn't really look at Dylan, and Dylan doesn't really look at Jax. The mood around the table is tipsy and fun and electric. He enjoys himself. Brenda by his side. Laughing and entertained as the group tells stories of the old days, reminiscing and joking with each other. He doesn't feel left out or like an outsider because everyone includes him and treats as part of the group.

His anger has subsided completely. His arm draped around Brenda's shoulders, her hand on his leg under the table. He leans in and kisses her softly under the ear then whispers, "Dance with me?"

She looks at him and smiles. "I was wondering when you were going to ask me." They are in their own bubble, conversation is flowing around the table not paying attention to them. Not even Dylan, he is smiling and having a blast as Steve makes jokes and makes him laugh. No one is paying attention to them until they are standing from the table. Jax's hand in Brenda's as he leads her to the dance floor. Dylan's eyes follow them and he exhales. Some cute guy asks Erica to dance, Donna and David join the dance floor, Leaving Kelly, Janet, Steve and Dylan at the table.

"You ok?" Kelly moves next too him. He looks at her and nods a smile.

"I'm trying." He says honestly. She smiles at him.

"He's a nice guy Dylan. I know it's tough but at least you know she is in good hands." Steve says as the group looks at Dylan with sympathy.

"I know." Dylan nods and looks over at them. They are slow dancing, foreheads pressed together. Swaying slowly to the song. His eyes find the gang, "I just want her to be happy. I owe her at least that much after everything I've put her through."

The gang is quiet not sure what to say. They agree, Brenda deserves to be happy. She deserves fun and to see what that relationship will grow into. They love Dylan but they know Dylan. He doesn't always make the lives of the women he is involved with easy.

Soon the night is ended and goodbyes are said as Dylan Erica and Brenda make their way up the walkway. Erica and Brenda giggle at nothing drunkenly as Dylan shakes his head amused. He stops and freezes, both girls running into his back.

"Dylan." Erica giggles, "What?" All three look at the women who raises to her feet from the steps of the porch.

Dylan walks closer the girls following. "What are you doing here?" His voice hard. Brenda looks at Dylan surprised by his reaction then looks at the woman. Who is she?

"Look Dylan…I looked up your address. Your mom said you weren't home, so I though I'd wait." She explains nervously.

"You need to get the fuck off my property." He says side stepping around her. The girls frozen back not sure who this woman is. Dylan unlocks his front door, "Erica Brenda." He calls them asking for them to go in. Erica does what her brother asks and climbs the steps going into the house.

Gina looks at Brenda, she gives her a sad smile, "So you're Brenda, it's nice to finally meet you." Gina says nicely and genuine. She holds out her hand, "I'm Gina." Brenda's eyes find Dylan's quickly, then she looks at Gina. She is brunette, gorgeous with a tiny frame. She holds out her hand as they shake and meet officially. Brenda doesn't say anything as she looks at her. So this was Dylan's girlfriend after he left her in London? She can't help but be curious about her.

Dylan moves down the steps and gets in front of Gina's face, blocking Brenda from her. "What the fuck do you want Gina?"

"To give you these." She reaches into her pocket and holds out two mini tapes. The kind you used to have in answering machines back in the day. "When I stayed with you at the hotel, I switched them out so you wouldn't get the messages. I was scared of losing you and things were so messed up with us all the time. I didn't know what the messages were about I just reacted and I'm so sorry I did that." By this time Brenda has stepped to the side so she can see her. Gina looks at Brenda with tears in her eyes, "I didn't know and I'm so sorry Brenda."

Brenda doesn't know what to say so the decent side of her heart speaks up, "You wanna come in?"

"No." Dylan says hastily, He takes the tapes out of her palm roughly, "Gina was just leaving."

Gina swallows hard and nods, She turns then and walks down the pathway, she turns one last time, "It was nice to meet you Brenda and…Dylan." She breathes out sadly, "I'm truly sorry." And just like that Gina is gone.

Dylan looks down at the tapes, "Come on." Brenda's hand touches his arm. He looks at her as she tilts her head towards the house. He follows her inside, sitting on the couch. He looks down at the tapes. Brenda stands near him, her closeness makes him look up at her. She hands him a portable tape recorder. Randomly Brenda has one in a box of old junk in the closet under the stairs. She hands it to him.

"Night Dylan." She leaves him to listen to it alone.

"Night Bren." He watches her head upstairs, Erica is no where to be seen so he assumes she is upstairs as well Brenda mentioning she can share her queen instead of the couch earlier. Dylan presses the button as the side latch opens swiftly. Setting one tape down, he inserts the other and closes the latch. He sits there staring, knowing what he's about to hear is going to break his heart. After a few moments, he presses down on the play button.

" _Dylan? It's me."_ She sniffs and Dylan can hear she is crying. _"Call me back. I have something important to tell you."_ BEEP Dylan closes his eyes. _"Dylan…it's Brenda…I know things didn't end well with us but I have to talk to you. Please Dylan…it's important."_ BEEP Empty air. He hits eject and places the other tape into the slot. Pressing play right away this time. _"Dylan!"_ Brenda sobs uncontrollably, _"Please Please call me…I need you…I need you so badly. Please call me back."_ More sobs _"I miss you…Dylan and I need you."_ She cries. Dylan's hand covers his mouth, _"I love you Dylan please…please call me back. Why won't you return my calls…Please Dylan…if you ever loved me…if you ever cared for me call me, I don't want to tell you over the phone…it's so important."_ sobs can be heard then… Dial tone. BEEP _"Dylan." "Hello?"_ Gina's voice is recorded. Dylan looks down at the tape recorder. " _Oh hi…is Dylan there?"_ Brenda asks nicely. _"Who the fuck is this?"_ Gina says back. Nasty like. _"This..is Bre…Brenda, is he there?"_ _"Wrong number sweetie."_ _"Who is this?"_ Brenda asks calmly. _"This is Gina…stop calling here."_ Click. Dead air. Dylan swallows hard and wipes the tears that have fallen from his eyes. He tosses the tape recorder onto the coffee table and leans back. His head rests on the back of the couch as he takes in those messages, tears flow freely down his cheeks. God Gina that conniving little…

"Dylan?" Dylan's head snaps up hearing her voice. She is crying openly having listened to the whole recording. Their eyes meet. There is a silent understanding and need as Brenda moves quickly and falls into his arms. They are holding each other both crying openly. Dylan whispering how sorry he is. How it should have never been this way. Brenda crying telling him she is sorry too. Sorry she didn't try harder, kept calling, reached out to other members of the gang and made sure they told him how urgent it was to talk to him. They are taking turns baring their souls and whispered apologies. Dylan lays down pulling Brenda with him. She rests on her side half her body on top of him. She cuddles into him allowing her tears to slow and eventually fade. Brenda closes her eyes cuddled into his side. The last she feels is Dylan's lips touch the top of her head gently. Then his head is resting on hers as he closes his eyes. That's how they stay, cuddled together, legs intertwined in an embrace. Sleep finds them easy after such an emotional night. The feeling of home and safely in each other arms.

Brenda and Dylan cuddle through the night. Dylan moves slightly, hugging her to him tighter. Brenda moves waking up slowly, the sun shining into the living room against her face. Simultaneously their eyes open taking in their surrounding, then their eyes focus on Iris as she looks down at them. A wide smile on her face catching them in such an intimate position. Then their eyes look down from Iris's and find Olivia, her hand over her mouth giggling. Brenda and Dylan getting caught by her too. Brenda has never moved so fast in her life moving from the couch to her feet.

 _WOAH A LOT OF STUFF! So…what do you think? I know I made it sound like more cell phone messages early but I don't think I really specified. Oh well if I did. Surprise the guest was Gina…not Brandon…not Valerie. Oh but they're coming eventually. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. So tell me what you your thoughts are. Heartbreaking stuff and surprises. Next up is Jax and Brenda's 2nd date. And the McKay's extend their stay much to Brenda and Dylan's disapproval. Plus a heart to heart Walsh phone call from Brandon. Hit review kids…tell me EVERYTHING you're thinking. PS Jax isn't an ass. Don't hate him too much. He is trying. Give him a chance!_


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter 17_

 _Happier_

"Good morning." Iris's eyes glisten in hope as Brenda nervously fidgets having been caught cuddling with Dylan. Dylan smirks knowing his mothers mind as he sits up. Fingering his hair as it sticks up everywhere. Brenda looks at Olivia and smiles.

"Morning." She tries to calm her nerves. So what…they were cuddling. It wasn't like they were naked.

Olivia eyes the albums, "Daddy! You weren't suppose to see this…it was a surprise for your birthday." She grabs an album and sits next to her father. Dylan smirks and cuddles close to her as she begins to flip through it. Giving her interpretation of the photos.

Brenda looks at them, her nerves and embarrassment fading. "I'm going to get breakfast on." She comments quietly and leaves them to bond. Brenda hits brew on the coffee machine and exhales. She isn't doing a good job of keeping Dylan at arms length and she knows this. She is staring at the coffee pot and jumps slightly hearing Iris.

"You ok sweetie?" Iris is there with a concerned look on her face now. Brenda turns, her butt resting against the counter. She takes in Dylan's mother. She is such a natural beauty. Her hair shoulder length, brown and wavy. Warm brown eyes, like Dylan's…like Olivia's. Olivia looks so much like Iris at times.

Brenda shakes her head her hand coming to her face, "What am I doing?"

Iris moves closer to her, "Following your heart."

Brenda looks at her, "I'm with Jax." She seems to be saying that a lot lately. And she begins to wonder who she is saying it too. The people around her or herself.

"You gonna tell him that you slept in Dylan's arms last night?" Iris smiles, she doesn't mean anything by it maliciously.

Brendas eyes widen, "I told him that Dylan and I had kissed yesterday. He wasn't even angry at me." Why she is divulging this information is beyond her. To stick up for Jax…she isn't quite sure.

"You kissed Dylan?!" Iris's eyes sparkle again.

Brenda grunts out. "How long are you here Iris? I feel very judged at the moment."

Iris chuckles knowing Brenda isn't all serious. Iris knows how Brenda feels about her. They have always had a deep routed friendship and connection. A mutual love for Dylan and a mutual respect for each other.

Iris hums, "I'm thinking about staying a little longer dear. It's okay with you right? At least until Erica decides to go back up North. It's been awhile since I had both kids here within my reach, plus I'm loving all the grammy time."

Brenda sighs, "It's okay with me. But stop." Iris opens her mouth to object, "Just stop you know what you're doing."

Olivia comes running in, she hands Brenda her phone, "Daddy said you have a message." She runs back to her father.

Brenda takes a deep breath seeing her text, guilt rushes her as she reads it.

 _ **Jax: Hey pretty girl…hope you slept well last night. Call me when you can…I dreamt of you last night. Has it been 5 dates yet?**_

She sighs with a smile and pockets her phone, nope the kiss was one thing…he doesn't need to know about the sleeping. She looks at Iris, the smirk a mile long on her pretty face, "Stop." She holds up her hand, Iris's mouth opens to object again, "Nope…stop." She turns grabbing a cup of coffee.

Iris chuckles, she smiles shaking her head, "I didn't say anything dear."

Brenda rolls her eyes playfully, she loves Iris but how long was she planning on staying again?

After breakfast Dylan had come up with the idea to take Olivia to the beach. Iris, Erica, Dylan, Brenda and Olivia all attend. Brenda smiles as she watches Iris and Erica holding Olivia's hand taking her to the waters edge. Brenda looks at her phone, she had been texting with Jax off and on all day. He wanted to get together but after explaining they were doing a family thing at the beach today he had accepted that answer no questions asked. Still the guilt of not being able to invite him was enough to continue the texting all day.

"You know…it would be nice if you put your phone away longer than 5 minutes to enjoy our family time." Dylan said sipping his coke as he watches her texting from the corner of his eye.

Brenda sighs, "I know…I'm sorry." She stuck her phone in her bag.

"Jax?" He eyes her as she makes eye contact.

She nods, "Yeah…sorry were going to go out tonight but I feel like maybe he was a little hurt I didn't invite him today."

Dylan swallowed hard, "You could have invited him…I mean it would have been weird but…it would have been okay with me" Dylan shrugs. He is trying to be supportive but he was glad she didn't invite him.

Brenda looked at him with a smirk, "Liar." She laughs. She pushes him playfully and Dylan laughs out loud. "A little too soon for that." she said honestly.

Dylan nods, "You like this guy Bren?" His eyes pierce hers.

She nods, "I do…he's really a good guy Dylan. I haven't really ever met anyone like him, he's sweet…honest…he's different."

"Ouch." Dylan jokes.

Brenda giggles, "You know what I mean."

Dylan playfully rolls his eyes, "Yeah…I do. If you're happy." He grunts, "I guess I'm happy."

"Lies Lies." Brenda chuckles and Dylan joins in.

Silence reigns over them as they watch the rest of the group from a distance.

"Olivia asked me if I loved you at breakfast the other day." Dylan looks down before looking out into the water again.

Brenda looks over at him, "She did? What did you say?"

"I told her the truth, that of course I loved mommy but she wanted to know if I loved you loved you."

Brenda laughed, "Samantha Miller?"

"Who is this Samantha and maybe she shouldn't be allowed to hang out with her." Dylan jokes.

Brenda shakes her head, "She is harmless."

"She asked for a sister." Dylan peaks over at her, "You ever think about having more kids?"

Brenda's eyes widen as she looks at him, "Um…sure…yeah if I was committed and married…yeah I would want more kids but I don't want to do it on my own again."

Dylan exhales, "Bren."

Brenda shakes her head, "Come on Dylan…I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I just meant yes I want more kids but not alone."

Silence fills the space again. Dylan speaks up, "Well she told me that Samantha told her when two people love each other they make babies." Brenda's eyes widen, "So she wanted to know if me and you loved each other enough to make her…how come you were going on a date with Jax? You might want to talk to her."

Brenda pursed her lips, " Ok." She took a deep breath, "What did you tell her."

Dylan looked into her eyes, "I told her that you were the only women I had ever loved and you were the only person I loved enough to make babies with. And as for Jax…she had to ask you about that."

"Dylan." Brenda whispered.

Dylan looked at her, "I'm not going to lie to our daughter to appease your new relationship Bren."

Brenda sighed heavily, "I'm not saying that…just she's four…she doesn't understand complicated love or relationships, not even Samantha Miller could explain us." She joked to lighten the mood a little but it failed miserably.

Dylan leaned in closer than he should, Brenda frozen as his face came close to her own, "Funny because I don't think our relationship or love is that complicated…seems pretty black and white to me, I love you. You love me…simple." He stared at her, her hair blowing in the wind, he gently grabs a piece, placing it lovingly being her ear. They got lost in each others eyes until Brenda looked down. God he was intense.

She playfully rolls her eyes, shaking her head with a smirk. "There is a lot of grey." She jokes. "You're hopeless." She looks at him.

Dylan leans away from her and smiles, "Hey…I've been called worse."

She playfully shoves him again but this time Dylan pulls her into him. He hugs her close and Brenda closes her eyes exhaling. "You aren't going to give up are you?" She whispered against his chest. Fear of having to reject Dylan over and over to protect her heart sang loud in her head. "You can't just let me be happy?"

He squeezes her gently and kisses her head, and sits silent for what seems like a whole minute. He pulls away keeping Brenda against him, he gently lifts her chin her eyes looking into his, "I will never give up on you…not again…not ever." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It was chastised and sweet, Brenda frozen and Dylan not deepening. He pulled away his hot sweet breath tickling her lips. "You'll be back because you love me…you've always loved me and I see it everyday. When you look at me…when you look at our daughter…even with him by your side you love me…and he knows that too." Dylan backs away and looks out into the water, his arms going around his knees. "You're not happy…your pretending to be."

Brenda shocked and frozen clears her throat. Words of you wish, fuck off and ugh you're annoying come into her brain but she doesn't say anything. She closes her eyes and knows there are parts that are true and that simple fact pisses her off even more. She gets up, dusting the sand off her butt. She takes her tank top off and tosses at his face. His attention is now running down her thin frame in her red bikini. Lust and want evident on his face.

She begins walking backwards slowly, his eyes meet hers hungrily. "You know Dylan… that's the thing…I _have_ always loved you…and all you ever did was toss it aside. You got used to me always loving you…unconditionally…without merit…and now that someone else wants me…you can't stand it." If Dylan could be a cocky ass so could she.

"Brenda?" He calls out as she turns to walk away but something pulls her back, she looks at him and all he does is stare at her.

"Jax is sweet…he's a great guy…he's thoughtful and he wouldn't lie to me and he would do anything for me."

"So what's the problem then Bren? If he is so perfect…what's the problem?" His face hard.

"You know what the problem is…you're not thoughtful, you've lied numerous times…I can't trust you and you wouldn't do anything for me." She raises her voice.

"That's not true." He stands now angrily, walking towards her.

Tears spring in Brenda's eyes, "That's how I feel." He reaches for her hand. She lets him hold it.

"Give me a chance. A real chance to prove it to you."

Brenda looks left wipes her tear quickly. Mad at herself for letting him get to her like this. Brenda always thought of herself as strong and when it came to Dylan, she just wasn't.

"No." She said simply, "No…you're going to let me down again."

He pulls her towards him, his hand going to her bare back, "I…will never let you down." He says seriously. "I never meant to hurt you Bren." He whispers wholeheartedly.

Silence fills them as they stare at each other, she looks down with a smirk as she shakes her head. Her eyes lift to his, "It doesn't really matter Dylan…because in the end it all hurts just the same. Do you know how many times I've heard this before from you? I'm with Jax…I like Jax…you're too late. I told you already Dylan…he can give me something that you just…can't."

Dylan shakes his head, "A clean slate…he has the ability to hurt you too Brenda. He isn't perfect…nobody is fucking perfect. I made mistakes. I own my mistakes. Don't make me feel like I'm not good enough for you. I've lived my whole life looking at you like that. I won't let that feeling chip away at my pride, not anymore." He grabs her arms gently, he wants her to listen to him, really listen to him, he pulls her closer, "I love you. If you want to parade around with that idiot then do it. If it makes you sleep better a night fine. But don't tell me I let you down…or that you can't trust me because my heart is pure and real and the feelings have always been there, this is nothing new and if you want to pretend with that jack ass go right ahead, but you live with the fact that I offered you the world and it was you…you who didn't want it. Not me."

Brenda stares at him, god she was angry with him. She swallows hard and sighs, "I'll live with it…if it means you not breaking me again…I'll live with it." She backs away from him and turns suddenly and heads down the beach. Dylan looking at her back as she retreats from him.

He exhales running his hands through his windblown hair his attention going to her back again. The ache in his heart he feels every time Brenda walks away from him is clear as day.

Brenda puts the finishing touches on her makeup when she heard the soft knock of the front door. Olivia was already asleep and Brenda had told Jax to knock instead of using the door bell. "I got it." She heard Dylan call from down the stairs. She rolls her eyes, crap she tries to finish quickly. Not waiting to leave Jax alone with Dylan for too long.

Dylan opens the door, a cocky smile adorns his handsome face. "Jax." Dylan smiles.

"Hey Dylan." Jax reaches his hand out to greet him. Dylan meets his hand shake. "How are you?" Jax tries to act polite.

Dylan nods, "Getting by, how's the club?"

Jax smiles, "You really asking me about the club?"

Dylan laughs, "Yeah I guess not. So…where are you taking our Brenda tonight?"

Jax chuckles, "Our? Huh…is that what you think? Why because of a little kiss?"

Dylan keeps his smirk as his hand rubs uncomfortably at the back of his neck. "She told you about that huh?" He says simply with a shrug. This fake polite game in full force on both sides.

"Yeah…it's this thing called honesty…who knew…you should try it sometime."

Dylan purses his lips together as he squares his shoulders off, "A little kiss…hmm seemed like more…but what do I know? I've only know her for what 12 years."

Jax serious now takes a step towards Dylan, "Leave her alone man…let her decide herself what she wants. I'm not going to fight with you…over Brenda…over anything…but…" He steps closer in front of his face. "If she wants to be with me and not you…respect it. If you touch her or kiss her again…I won't hesitate to punch you in the fucking face."

Dylan smiles widens, "Promise?" He eggs him on.

"Oh I promise." Then both take steps away from each other as Brenda trots down the stairs. She is casual in skinny jeans, knee high boots and a peasant off the shoulder top.

"Hey." She smiles looking between the guys. "Everything okay?" She feels the energy in the room, she took too long. She looks at Jax and then Dylan.

"Fine." Dylan says with a forced smile as Jax smiles more genially at her.

"You look incredible." He takes her hand and pulls her in to him, giving her a gentle kiss on the mouth. Dylan looks down, his tongue hitting the side of his cheek.

Brenda eyes Dylan, something was up. She smiles awkwardly at Jax as he leads her to the door. She looks at Dylan one last time, his eyes imploring hers.

"Night Bren." He says quietly.

"Night Dylan." She leaves silently with an ache in her heart she always gets when she walks away from him.

Brenda laughs as she watches Jax in the kitchen. He is better than Dylan but barely. For Jax and Brenda's second date he has invited her over for a late dinner and a movie of her choice. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" She watches him chop vegetables hoping he doesn't cut off his finger.

Jax laughs, "No…I want to do this and you're my guest."

Brenda smiles and takes a sip of her wine, "Alright…if you say so."

She looks around at Jax's condo. "I like your place. How long have you lived here?"

"About three years." He answers honestly.

"You always live alone?"

Jax looks up and smiles, "Is this the part you get to know about my past girlfriends, my college days or all of it?"

Brenda laughs, "All of it…I want to know about your life."

Jax lays the veggies on a baking sheet and drizzles olive oil over it and seasonings. Brenda's a little impressed.

"Well…I went to Beverly High."

Brenda's eyes widened, "You did…I went to West Beverly."

He nodded, "I know. Well I figured…since that's where the gang went anyway. Um…had my first girlfriend when I was a junior, her name was Sophie Jennings." He raised his eyebrows and looked so cute. "She was a brunette like you."

Brenda giggles and set her elbow on the counter and her chin in her hand. "Ummm we went out for a year and half, she was my first…well everything."

"Why did you break up?" She asked interested.

Jax smiled and shrugged, "You know…things happen."

She teased him with a smile, "Things? Tell me…"

He made a grunt and rolled his eyes, "She dumped me…for Greg Harrow."

Brenda pouts, "Poor Jax."

Jax laughs, "I graduated and went to USC…lived in the dorm and met April."

"Blonde?" Brenda jokes.

Jax chuckles, "No…also brunette and such a bitch."

Brenda laughs out loud. "Oh no! Why?"

Jax clears his throat and shakes his head, "We dated for about 6 months before I caught her fucking my roommate, like literally walked in and saw them…in my bed."

Brenda made a face, "Ouch."

"Yeah…ouch…they stayed together too which was awkward as fuck, thankfully I changed roommates the following year and played the field a little. Studied business with a minor in journalism."

"A writer?"

"Hardly, but I did write for my school newspaper at beverly and enjoyed it, Sports."

"My brother would love you."

"You have a brother?"

"A twin brother…his name is Brandon…he writes for the Washington Chronicle." Brenda sighs, "He is head of international affairs and he travels all the friggin time."

"Wow." Jax walks over taking a swig of his beer and stands beside her, "You miss him." He looks over at her, leaning his elbows on the counter.

She looks into his eyes and smiles, "Everyday." He gives her a sad smile. "What about you…any brothers or sisters?"

Jax smile widens, "I do…one sister…one brother…they don't live in LA anymore. But I visit my nieces and nephews every chance I get." Brenda smiles.

"So? What happened after college." She leans in pushing his shoulder playfully.

"I graduated USC and moved in with my girlfriend of 2 years…Amy." He got serious now and peeled the label from his beer bottle.

"Bad break up?" Brenda saw his demeanor change instantly.

Jax smiles and sighs, he looks into her eyes, "The worst kind of break up."

"You don't have to tell me." Brenda took her glass of wine taking a sip.

Jax turned towards her, "No…I want too. In 1999 I proposed. We began planning our wedding, even meeting our families and…she left me…for my brother." Brenda gasped, her hand coming over her mouth.

Jax smiled, "It's okay…they were meant to be, we were not…they have 2 boys and they are expecting their daughter in late fall."

"God that's awful. Your sister-in-law is your ex fiancé?"

Jax laughs, "I know…were Beverly Hills aren't we? It was hard but she wasn't the one and my brother felt terrible. They didn't mean to fall in love. I just wanted Amy to be happy and she is. They're great together."

Brenda shook her head, "Wow. You're kind of amazing."

Jax shrugged, "Who am I to come between soul mates?" Brenda swallowed hard, he continues, "So after that I worked in different clubs, managed a few of them and then I met Dylan. He hired me and gave me the freedom to run his club. I earned good money and finally bought this place 3 years ago."

"No…other girls after Amy?" Brenda felt bad. He was such a sweet guy, it sounded like he had been hurt in love as much as Brenda had been.

Jax chuckled, "I dated but I never felt that thing you know…Until you." He looked into her eyes.

Brenda smiles and leans in kissing him deeply. "Those girls were stupid." She whispers against his lips. Jax smiling against her own before deepening the kiss. The oven beeped signaling it was ready so Jax went to put the roasted chicken and vegetables in.

He sipped his beer, looking at her from across the counter, "So what about you?"

Brenda shrugged and shook her head. "It's boring really." She sipped her wine, did she want to divulge her life…past love? Would he really want to hear it?

Jax smiled and leaned his elbows on the counter again, "I doubt that…spill pretty girl."

Brenda sighed, " Well…I grew up in Minnesota but my dad got offered a job here in LA and we moved to Beverly Hills my sophomore year. I went to West Beverly. Met Kelly and Donna and we became best friends. There was lots of times when my brother and I would feel like we would never make here…but we did and we had a good solid group of friends. Kelly, Donna, David, Dylan, Steve, Andrea and myself."

Jax smiled, "Dylan? Let me guess…your first boyfriend? Being 16 and everything."

Brenda cleared her throat, "Actually my first boyfriend was Scotty Miller in 7th grade…but if you don't count that week of talking on the phone twice and one group movie date the real thing…then yes…Dylan was my first boyfriend. I was 16…he was my brothers best friend."

Jax nodded and listened, "We dated all of sophomore year…Junior year and we broke up…mid senior year." Brenda looked down and exhaled.

"Damn…that's a long time." Jax was surprised. "First love? First everything?" He feared it, but knew the answer already.

Brenda nodded, "Yeah." She whispered. "Do you really want to hear this? Well maybe you do it doesn't have a happy ending." She chuckled nervously.

Jax laughed out loud, "You aren't getting out of this one."

"Well…I broke up him and he started dating my friend."

Jax leaned in, "Which friend?"

Brenda rolls her eyes playfully, man he was able to read her a little, "He started dating Kelly. And they went out the rest of senior year…into college at CU, broke up…got back together…broke up again…we kind of got back together then I left for London and finished school at RADA. The end."

"Why do I feel like you aren't telling me the whole story? And the fact you have a 4 year old daughter with him…is proof that was not the end."

Brenda smiled, "You didn't tell me details."

"Seriously? I told you my college girlfriend cheated and went out with my roommate and my first real love who I wanted to marry…married my brother."

Brenda laughed and groaned, "Dylan…was a good guy…my father didn't think so…kind still doesn't. He didn't approve…I had a temper tantrum, moved out and in with Dylan. My father sent me away to study in Paris to try to get some space from me…me and Dylan. The summer before senior year, I had a summer fling over there…and Dylan had one here. The difference is mine was nobody really special. Dylan's was…my best friend."

Jax breathed out, "Ouch."

Brenda chuckled and sighed, "Yeah…big ouch. So I came back…oblivious and we continued going out…until that summer fling of mine…came to LA to attend UCLA."

Jax grinned, "Oh man…this is good."

Brenda snorted, "Dylan and I were having problems. Fighting about the SAT's and college and all the drama that surrounded us all the time. I broke up with him and decided to give Rick…a chance. So Dylan decided to ask out Kelly. Long story short all four of us ran into each other at the same restaurant. I went ballistic…broke it off with Rick and tried to get Dylan back. The months after endured a pathetic love triangle which ended in Dylan…choosing Kelly and ultimately finally telling me she was the one he had fling with that summer."

"Fuck." Jax whispered. "That's hard Bren…I'm sorry."

Brenda shrugged, "Why…did you go out with Kelly too?" She joked.

Jax laughs, "No…she's not my type, I like brunettes remember." Jax walks over as Brenda turns towards him. He places himself in between her legs. He hugs her to his abdomen her arms wrapping around his waist.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." He kisses her head lightly.

She sighed, "So…Dylan and I became friends and got close. Then we sort of got back together before I left for London, with the intention of coming to LA. I got offered a free ride and a chance to study full time at RADA and I took it. I dated a little in London and Dylan dated Kelly again…sort of…she dated my brother, almost married my brother." She leaned away looking up at him, "Then Dylan got married to a girl named Toni and she was murdered the next day."

"Seriously?" Brenda nodded.

"So Dylan left Beverly Hills and after about a month of traveling, he showed up in London. We dated for a few years…lived together. He asked me to marry him and I said no."

"You said no? Why?" Jax looked into her eyes.

"I didn't really say no…it was more like not right now. It wasn't the right time, it didn't feel right. Things got hard and I was a working actress traveling a lot, Dylan was drinking a lot, it almost felt like he asked to better it somehow. We fought all the time those last 6 months. He asked me to come back to LA…to leave the theater I was with and I said no. So he left…I found out I was pregnant and after trying to call him a few times I just stopped. He moved on, he dated Kelly again. And that brings me to years alone…and raising a baby…and moving here to give it a go with acting again. It only took about month to run into Dylan…Olivia in tow and the rest is history." Brenda grabs her wine and takes a long sip.

Jax keeping his closeness, his hand coming to run down her head tenderly. "He hurt you pretty bad huh?"

Brenda looked up at him, "He absolutely wrecked me. I haven't really been able to let anyone else in."

"Until now?" Jax whispered hopeful as he played with the ends of her hair.

Brenda smiled sadly, "Until now." She confirms as he leans in and kisses her.

"You're amazing." He utters softly as as he kisses her gently again. "Dylan is stupid."

"Thank you." Brenda smiles whispering against his lips. Her hand comes to his face. His tongue entering her mouth with affection. His hand entwined into her hair. She stands as Jax lifts her, her legs wrap around his mid section. Her hands squeeze his muscled arms. "God I want you." She breathes.

Jax groans, "I want you too." He begins to carry her out of the kitchen.

"What about dinner?" He whispers.

"Fuck dinner." She moans as he kisses her neck. He walks her back into the kitchen and switches off the oven without breaking that kiss. Brenda laughs out loud, and then kisses him hungrily again.

"What about the five dates?" He lays her in the middle of his king bed as he moves over her.

"I'm ready if you are." Her hand finds his face.

"God I'm ready." He groans and kisses her deeply but pulls back, "But…are you?"

She answers by leaning up and captures his lips with hers. "This isn't what I planned on tonight. I just want you to know that. I wanted to get to know you." Jax kisses down her chest.

Brenda giggles and breathes, "Well…technically we know everything about each other now. At least our pasts."

Jax chuckles against her throat. "Technicality." He utters as Brenda giggles again and reaches for his shirt.

Soon their clothes are discarded and he's reaching into his side drawer for a condom. He sits back on his heels reading the date. Brenda stares, his body is magnificent, six pack and chiseled. She reaches and rubs her hand down his abdomen slowly in awe feeling how hard and built he is. She watches him tear the wrapper with his teeth.

"Thank god these things have a 3 year shelf life." He jokes as he winks at her rolling it down over his shaft slowly. "That's embarrassing to admit out loud."

Brenda laughs out loud, god doesn't he realize how much of a turn on that is, she thinks about Dylan and all the girls he's been with since her.

"It's reassuring…and sexy as hell." She breathes and watches him. Fuck he's beautiful.

He slowly moves over her and kisses her gently. "You sure you want this…I'm not going anywhere…I can wait." He asks sweetly.

Brenda looks into his blue eyes. She feels warm and safe, "I'm sure I want you." She whispers.

Then Jax is pushing in slowly filling her…and Brenda after five years remembers what good sex feels like.

Brenda sits at Jax's kitchen table picking at her chicken with her fingers. She eyes him, he is smiling at her. Both giddy and disgustingly happy. Of course after sex and cuddling, Jax finishes dinner as they eye fuck each other like teenagers.

She wipes her mouth and hands, "You know…I was worried but you're a good cook."

Jax smiles at her, "Thanks? I think?"

Brenda laughs and looks down at her watch. "I wish I didn't have to go."

Jax knows why and he nods, "I know sweetie…me too. But Miss Olivia is someone I would like to keep in my good graces."

Brendas smiles she looks down at herself. She is sitting in Jax's plaid button down. "I should change."

Jax gets up and takes her hand. He leads her back into his bedroom and helps her gather her clothes. He watches her as she gets dressed, pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. "Are you disappointed we didn't wait the 5 dates?" He eyes her curiously.

She shakes her head, "Not at all…are you?"

"God no." He chuckles.

Jax pulls up in front of the house. He turns off the ignition. He leans in and kisses her softly. "I had an amazing time."

Brenda smiles, "Me too. Next time I make you dinner."

"Deal." He smiles back. His hand goes to her cheek as he looks into her eyes. "I adore you."

Brenda's smile widens, "I adore you too." They kiss again this time longer, more passionate and hungry. "Call me tomorrow." She whispers and pecks his lips again.

"I will."

Brenda unlatches the passenger side door. "Good night pretty girl." Brenda looks at him.

She leans in and kisses him again gently. "Night."

As Brenda walks up to the front door, she smiles dreamily as she fishes out her keys. She unlocks the door opening it a little turning to wave at Jax as he sees she is in. He pulls away and she walks into the foyer of her home she shares with Dylan. Walking in she notices Dylan awake sitting on the couch reading a book.

She smirks tossing her purse on the table as he looks up at her closing his book. "Are you waiting up for me…dad?" She jokes a hand on her hip.

Dylan rolls his eyes, "No…maybe…did you have a good time?"

She smiles and nods, trying to not blush, "Yeah…it was good."

Dylan swallows hard and nods. Dylan closes his eyes and exhales. "I hate this."

Brenda sits down next to him, "I know you do. I don't want to hurt you."

Dylan nods, "I know." Dylan breathes out looking at her intensely, "Brenda…today at the beach…you said something that I can't stop thinking about. You said I can't just let you be happy. I can…I want too."

Brenda looked at him, she took a deep breath and let him continue, "I want too…I just want you to be happy with me but I know I've screwed this up so many times. I wrote you this tonight." Dylan picks up a piece of paper and hands it to her. "I love you Bren." He gets up off the couch, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. Brenda watches him head up to bed.

She looks down at the folded piece of paper, opening it up.

 _Saw you walk inside the bar_

 _He said something to make you laugh_

 _I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours_

 _Yeah, you look happier, you do_

 _Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

 _But ain't nobody loves you like I do_

 _Promise that I will not take it personal_

 _If you're moving on with someone new_

 _'Cause baby you look happier, you do_

 _My friends told me one day I'll feel it too_

 _And until then I'll smile to hide the truth_

 _But I know I was happier with you_

 _Sat in the corner of the room_

 _Everything's reminding me of you_

 _Thinking about nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier_

 _Aren't you?_

 _Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you_

 _But ain't nobody needs you like I do_

 _I know that there's others that deserve you_

 _But my darling, I am still in love with you_

 _But I guess you look happier, you do_

 _My friends told me one day I'd feel it too_

 _I could try to smile to hide the truth_

 _I know I was happier with you_

 _Baby, you look happier, you do_

 _I knew one day you'd fall for someone new_

 _But if he breaks your heart like lovers do_

 _Just know that I'll be waiting here for you_

Brenda breaks down, her hand covering her mouth. She looks down at the poem, pulling it to her chest. She cries for a while and hears her phone chirp from in her purse. She grabs her purse taking her phone out. She sees the text she has just received.

 _ **Brandon: You awake?**_

Instead of texting back she hits call on her phone and brings it to her ear.

"Hello? Bren?"

"Brandon." She sobs out.

"Hey…what's wrong?"

"Everything is fucked up."

"Is it Dylan? Is he still gone?"

"How did you know he was gone?"

Brandon sighs on the line, "The night of Olivia's birthday…I called you…he answered. He didn't sound good. Then I called Kelly, she said he had bailed like I feared."

"He's back."

"I see."

"Wait…you talked to Kelly?" Brenda wiped under her nose.

Brandon chuckles, "You would bring that up."

"Duh…how did that go?" She asked interested.

Brandon takes a deep breath, "I just asked how you were. I wanted to check on you…but Kelly seemed good. It was nice hearing her voice."

"Brandon…nice? You haven't talked to her in ages and all you have to say is it was nice hearing her voice? Lame."

"Why is everything fucked up Bren?" Brandon doesn't want to talk about Kelly with his sister. They've had this conversation. Million times, Tell her you miss her, tell her you love her. He can't do it again. Not tonight.

Brenda groaned, "Dylan…he's just being Dylan and I'm seeing someone."

"You're seeing someone?" Brandon's voice noticeably more chipper.

"Yes…his name is Jax and he…runs the After Dark."

"Oh god." Brandon chuckles, "He runs Dylan's club." It wasn't a question.

"Things with him are great…he's amazing Brandon, you'd like him."

"But?"

"Well you know…I'm living with Dylan…and he's saying all the right things."

"You don't have to explain Bren…I know Dylan. He isn't giving up is he? On getting you back?"

"Not really."

"Look Bren…if you like this guy then have fun…you finally have help with Olivia. Get out there and enjoy yourself."

"I am Brandon…it's just so hard."

"I know it is Bren. What do you want? Do you want Dylan back?"

Brenda is silent. "Bren." Brandon breathes knowing her silence is meaningful.

"I don't. It's just…hard Brandon…it's hard because you know how I feel about him…how I've always felt about him."

"I know Bren…I know. I told you not to move in with him."

Brenda shakes her head, "You ass…you did not."

"I kind of did. I told you I didn't think it was a good idea but that I'd support you." Brandon laughed, "But I also gave it a week before you guys were in bed together so…you proved me wrong already."

"Well?" Brenda's voice pitched up an octave higher,

"Brenda…you slept with Dylan?"

"No…no…we almost did…like twice."

"Jesus Bren. When you were going out with Jax?"

"No…before."

Brando laughs, "You mean a week after moving in…damn I'm good."

"HAHA shut up."

Brandon continues to chuckle over the phone. Brenda sighs, "I miss you Bran. I wish you were here."

"You want me to come out?" Brandon asks seriously.

"Would you? Could you?"

"I have some vacation days saved up."

"Knowing you you have a month of vacation days saved up…when is the last time you actually took time off?" Brenda smiled wiping a tear that escaped.

"God…years. Brenda…if you need me, I could be on the next flight to LA…just say the word."

"What about seeing Kelly?"

"What about seeing Kelly?"

Brenda smiled, "Oh come on Bran…we both know the reason you haven't been to LA in all these years is because of Kelly."

"That's not true."

Brenda rolls her eyes, "Alright Bran…yes I want you to come out. You can meet Jax…and talk some sense into Dylan."

"Alright…I'll book my flight when we get off. I'l text you with the details…don't tell Olivia…I want to surprise her."

Brenda smiles, feeling a bit lighter, "Okay. I love you Brandon."

"I love you Bren. Night. I'll be in touch."

"K. Night."

"Brenda?" Brandon stopped her from hangin up.

"Yeah."

"Is Kelly seeing anyone?"

Brenda's smile grew, "Nope."

Brandon smiled and let out an uncomfortable laugh, "See you Bren."

Brenda chuckled, "Bye."

She hit off on her phone. She texted Jax.

 _ **Brenda: I miss you already…thanks for an incredible night.**_

She instantly had a reply.

 _ **Jax: I miss you too my pretty girl…my sheets smell like you.**_

 _ **Brenda: Are you saying I smell? Lol**_

 _ **Jax: LMAO no…I'm saying it smells good and its making me horny.**_

Brenda laughs out loud.

 _ **Brenda: Well good…maybe its time you buy a new box of condoms.**_

 _ **Jax: Why is that? Are you saying my condoms are old? Lol**_

 _ **Brenda: No I'm saying I only saw 3 in there and you're gonna need more.**_

 _ **Jax: Fuck…shit now I'm even more horny…thanks a lot.**_

 _ **Brenda: *Smiling emoji* Good night Jax**_

 _ **Jax: Sweet dreams Bren.**_

Brenda smiled like a goofball and held her phone to her chest. She looked down at Dylan's poem. She sighs folding it up and taking it with her as she shuts the lights off and heads up to her bed. She crawls in bed trying not to wake a sleeping Erica. Erica moves to the opposite side and sighs.

"Bren?"

"Yeah Erica…sorry…go back to bed."

"How was your date?" She asks, her voice filled with sleep.

Brenda smiled widely pulling the covers up to her chin, "Good…really good." She said simply as she closes her eyes.

 _Soooo a long chapter. I didn't know where to stop it so I let it flow. So a couple things. Jax is not a pussy. Even though some of you think he's too nice…too perfect. So he was serious in warning Dylan. Wondering if that shocked any of you? He really wasn't trying to be an ass even though the Jax haters will probably think he was regardless. He was just simply telling him, he needs to respect her and if she wants him, then he wanted to make it clear that going around kissing her and shit will NOT be tolerated. Also Brandon's coming! Which should be awesome. Especially when he sees Dylan…with Brenda…with his daughter…team Dylan might have an added member. So tell me everything people. Sad stuff with Brenda and Dylan but I feel like this stuff needs to kind of come out…so when they reunite its all been laid bare already. And who was surprised Brenda didn't wait the 5 dates? I guess my reasoning is that Brenda is pushing this thing with Jax. So of course she would skip ahead. Hit review my beautiful people…I want to know how you are feeling about this chapter._


	18. Chapter 18

_Chapter 18_

 _The French Pact_

Brenda opens her eyes. She feels happy, sore in the right places and adored. She looks to the right as Erica opens her eyes. She smiles at her.

"Morning."

"Morning." Brenda whispered back.

"You look different. Peaceful." Erica sits up a bit.

"I feel different." Brenda looks at her ceiling.

"So it was a good date then?" Brenda looks over at her again and smiles wide.

"Really good date." Brenda blushes furiously.

Erica sighs looking straight ahead disappointed. "You had sex with him."

Brenda sits up a bit and looks at the side of Erica's face. She sees the disappointment she tries so hard to mask all the time, she has done it for years, being supportive as a friend but then wanting to be as a sister too. "Erica?" She whispers.

Erica looks at her forces a smile. "I'm happy for you."

"You are not. You are a horrible liar like your brother."

"What do you want me to say Bren?"

"I want you to be my friend…like you've always been."

Erica gets up, "You are my friend." Her hand comes out and points down the hall as she yells, "But he's my brother."

Brenda looks at her, she has never argued with Erica. Never and its clear this might be their first one.

Brenda gets up, "I know he's your brother. You know what he's done to me. You were there! You were there when he picked up and left to some expedition to climb the top of K12…only to come back more fucked up then before he left. You were there and helped me put his drunk ass into bed a dozen times, what were you 17? I sent you to Hawaii because I didn't want you living with that? I saw what it did to the people close to me growing up. You didn't need to see your brother fight his demons. Then you were there…on the phone when I cried to you over and over and fucking over…because I was alone pregnant and terrified. You were there when I called you bawling my eyes out when Dylan excused my whole existence. He told Kelly we hadn't even been together…he told her he had left me years earlier. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe he didn't physically leave yet but maybe his heart had. He left me and came back here for her…for the girl I always felt inferior too Erica, the girl he chose over me. He told her he missed her and she was the only person besides his dead wife he had connected with. He pined after her…he wanted her…he wanted to marry her someday."

"He wanted to marry you Brenda. You said no, he never committed to Kelly, even when she wanted him too, she was always second choice." Erica yelled back, crying now.

"I didn't say no! Do you know how bad I wanted to say yes? He asked me drunk Erica…drunk! He asked me after a fight about my tour."

Erica closed her eyes and breathed out, "He meant it…he told me Bren…he meant it."

Brenda laughs out uncomfortable, tears flowing freely. "No he didn't Erica he left me! I meant absolutely nothing to him. I was just a girl he knew. I was just a girl he once knew in high school. I was nothing to him…and he…was…my everything." Brenda breaks down. Silence fills the bedroom, Erica crying knowing everything Brenda is saying is true. Brenda slowly sits on her bed and takes a deep breath.

"You must think that I'm stupid or I'm a fool. You must think that I'm new to this but I have seen this all before. Don't you see…I'm never gonna let him close to me. Even though he means everything to me. Because every time I open up to Dylan again, it hurts. I'll take him back and he'll leave me in the dirt again."

Erica slowly goes over sitting next to her. She wraps her arm around her as Brenda lays her head on her shoulder. "He won't do that again. I know he won't Bren. He loves you..he's always loved you."

Brenda sits quiet for a second, she speaks her voice emotionless. "It's weird…but every time he hurts me, the less that I cry…And every time he leaves me, the quicker my tears fade." Brenda takes a deep breath…"And every time he walks out, the less I love him." Brenda raises her head and looks at her, "Dylan is just too good at goodbyes, running away and I'm just not, not with him…" Erica looks at her, her heart breaking.

Dylan leans agains the wall, having heard most of Brenda and Erica arguing, his eyes close as a tear slides down his face.

"I'm sorry." Erica whispers. "I know he's hurt you Bren. But if I didn't think things were different this time I wouldn't say this to you. You can't push away what's in your heart. No matter how much you want to…you love Dylan. And that's just not going to go away, yes every time he walks out you love him less but that doesn't last, you're angry at him you don't love him less. You know it, it's never going to be over with you guys…it's just not."

"It has to be." Brenda whispers out.

Silence for a long time hits the both of them.

"I'm gonna check on Olivia." Brenda nods wiping her tears not knowing what else to say and Erica not knowing either. Brenda looks down at her hands.

Erica walks out of the room and stops abruptly seeing Dylan. His watery eyes hit hers and her heart breaks. She walks closer to him, "Where's Olivia?" Knowing they were kind of loud in there.

"Mom…took her to the park over an hour ago." Dylan looks down and swallows visibly. "She's right…I did all those things." He whispers.

Erica raises her hand and cups his face. She looks into her brothers eyes. Telling him what he needs to do. "To talk to her and stop being a pompous ignorant ass and be true." She whispers.

He nods and walks to Brenda's room, as Erica leaves them privacy and heads downstairs.

Dylan stops in the doorway and knocks gently on the frame. Brenda looks at him. She groans and wipes her face.

"What do you want?" She says lowly. Dylan smiles sadly as he walks over and sits next to her. His hand comes to her knee as he squeezes it. "I heard you guys." Brenda's face turns quickly. He blows out air in his lungs trying to not break down. Those were harsh realities to hear. "I don't know how you know those things." He looks at her, a tear falling quickly, "God I wish you didn't."

Brenda faces front and swallows hard. "But…I do."

Silence fills the bedroom, "Brenda." He breathes, "You are not nothing. You've never been nothing…you've never been just some girl…or a girl I once knew in high school. You just haven't and you will never be that and no matter what you heard when I came back here, deep down you know that's not true."

"You said it…I didn't."

"I never said that." He breathes out again, "I don't know why I said those things to Kelly." Dylan sighs, _be true_ , he thinks "No I know why. Because I'm a selfish prick who…lost you and couldn't take it. I made it sound like you were no one special to me because if I said the truth out loud…it would be too much and everyone would know how I messed up again, messed up with you."

Brenda looked at him as he met her eyes. "When I came back here, I regretted leaving the minute I stepped off the plane. I missed you and I came back to handle my affairs. My car and my house. Deep down I knew you wouldn't leave London. Even when I asked. You were successful and I was a basket case, I was bringing you down to my level." Dylan breathed.

Brenda huffed, "Little did you know…you hadn't brought me down to your level until you left."

Dylan closed his eyes. "I know your moving on with Jax…because you don't want to love me. And even though that truth hurts…I know why you're doing it. I did the same thing. It won't last Bren…because you can't shut out true love. I know…I tried." He looked at her as tears fell from her eyes.

"That's the thing Dylan…I know I wasn't the love of your life…Toni was." Dylan shook his head but Brenda continued, "You were always mine though. When you came to London…I was so happy." Brenda breathed. "I thought there was no hope or future with us once you got married and then there you were. Like fate in a really fucked up way intervened. I felt guilty for thinking that for a long time. But I embraced it…I embraced you. I saw how lost you were and how much my presence helped you."

"You did." Dylan takes her hand, "You helped me come back to the living. I don't think I would have gotten through that if it wasn't for you."

Brenda smiles sadly at him. " I know." She whispers. "Those last 6 months. I was holding on to you so tight."

"You were pushing me away."

Brenda shook her head, "No…I wasn't…I was holding on for dear life…but I needed you to need me back."

"I did need you Bren! I always needed you. You were the only one that could save me…don't you see that? Don't you see that you were the only one that I ever needed." Dylan purses his lips trying not to cry.

"I tried to be everything for you Dylan…but I wasn't."

Dylan grabbed both her hands and turned to face her, "You…were…everything…Brenda."

Brenda shook her head pulling her hands back, Dylan grabs them again, "You… _are_ …everything Bren."

"You don't lie to the people you love Dylan."

"Exactly." He pulled her hands to get her to look at him, "Exactly…I lied to her…not you. Those first two years here…I lied to Kelly…not you."

Dylans hand comes to her face as she looks at him. He begs with his eyes for her to believe him. "Toni was not the love of my life Brenda…she came in to my life…to bring me back to you."

Brenda breathed out heavily and broke down, "You don't know how long I wanted you to say that."

"It's true. I couldn't say it Brenda…because then it made it sound like she was there just to get killed so I could come find you. I felt guilty moving on from her so soon, but it was you. I couldn't help the way I felt about you and quickly realized, it was always you, it should have been you I settled down with." Dylan shook his head, "Toni was an amazing woman, she didn't deserve what happened to her. Being with you made her feel like a mistake, I couldn't admit that out loud. I just felt so guilty. But you need to hear the truth now, so I'm saying it. And Kelly…she is a friend…she's only a friend and I made a mistake Brenda…I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take it all back." Dylan whispered.

Brenda got up and paced a couple times taking deep breaths, the truth in his words too much, she still broke down her eyes meeting his, "You were the first boy that ever made me feel loved…and sexy…and visible." Brenda closed her eyes, she was bawling and she didn't care he was seeing it, "You…were my first love."

"You were mine too." Dylan breathed watching her break down.

She continued, "And…And I want…more than anything for you to be my last." She continued to look into his eyes intensely, "But I can't do this anymore. At least not now. You chose Kelly…then Toni" Dylan gets up and Brenda backs away, "You can't…take it back. You just can't. Then you up and leave me in London and you choose her again. How do you think that made me feel? You say you lied to her but it doesn't change the past Dylan. It…it doesn't make it go away."

"What do you want me to do Brenda? What do you want me to say? To make this better between us. I'll do whatever you want."

Brenda's heart ached the words on the tip of her tongue, "I want." She broke down, "I want you to let me go Dylan."

"I can't." Dylan shakes his head.

Brenda nods, "You can. You've done it before. You've loved others."

"Not like you."

"Maybe that's true…maybe not." Brenda shrugs sadly.

"It's true." Dylan pleads.

Brenda exhaled rephrasing, "I want you to let me…let you go." She cried softly, "I need you to do that for me."

Brenda swallowed hard, "I need you to stop waiting up for me…having pissing matches on who's dick is bigger with Jax…and just let me…try to be happy. Jax makes me happy…I love you…but I don't want to love you…and if you keep pulling at me…I'll come back to you…but it won't be true."

Dylan moves closer trying to kiss her but Brenda moves her head to the side. Instead places his forehead on the side of her head and breathes her in. He slowly looks down at her, her eyes meeting his. He sees a pleading, raw truth…she was being honest. Dylan breathed out heavily, he shook his head once knowing he was about to do the hardest thing he has ever done in his life.

He steps back, "I'll let you go…I'll let you…let me go. And do you know why?" He breathes, tears threatening to spill, "Because I care about you and your feelings…more than mine." He allowed the tears to finally fall, "I love you Brenda. I will always love you. Be happy…be happy with the love you deserve, I want that with all my heart." Dylan swallows hard as a pain ripped through his chest. This was it…this was truly heart break and he hadn't truly felt it before. He turns to leave her alone.

"Dylan!" Brenda cries wanting to stop him, wanting to take it all back but…she doesn't. "I do love you…you know that?"

Dylan smiles sadly, it doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I know. God Bren…I know." He breathes.

He walks back to her, grabbing her waist roughly as his lips hit hers. He whimpers as she kisses him back. It's hungry and romantic and intense…and it feels like goodbye.

They lean away, his forehead resting against hers, eyes closed, taking this moment in like it was their last. They lean away, his hand coming to her face as he gives her his trademark smirk. And just like that…he walks away. He stops in the hall hearing her sob and cry, wanting to go and comfort her but instead he walks to the stairs taken his new replaced phone out of his back pocket and hits call after finding the name in his address book. Two rings, then his voice picks up as he descends the stairs.

"Hello? Dylan?" Jax is confused to why Dylan is calling him.

"Hey Jax…yeah it's me…are you busy right now?"

"Um…I'm at the club working a little but Felix and Amanda are here…what's up?"

"Ah." He closes his eyes, "Can you come over my house? Um…Bren…she's upset and ah…I think she needs you." His eyes meet Erica's.

"Dylan…is she alright?" He asks a little panicked.

"Yeah…she will be. Do you mind?"

"No." Jax breathes out not really believing what he's hearing, "No I don't mind. I'll be there in 10." He rushes and hangs up.

Dylan slowly brings his phone from his ear. "What are you doing?" Erica whispers.

He looks at her, "I'm giving Brenda what she wants…what she deserves…instead of being a selfish prick that I always am." Dylan shrugs sadly like its the last thing he wants, "I'm letting her let me…go."

"Oh Dylan." Erica breathes.

She hugs him tightly. "She'll be back…I know she will."

Dylan holds his sister, "Maybe…maybe not…but I love her too much to hurt her anymore."

Jax literally is there in 10 minutes and soon Dylan is answering his door. They shake hands, gone is the cocky smiles and fake polite persona that once was there. Dylan clears his throat. "Me and Erica are going to go meet my mom and Olivia at the park if Brenda…asks." He grabs his keys and tries to act normal. "Um…Brenda's room is up the stairs second room on the left."

He moves fluidly, collecting his things as Erica throws on a pair of flip flops, not knowing really what's going on.

Jax is weirded out…beyond weirded out but he nods and begins to walk towards the staircase. Dylan opens the front door, Erica leaving out of it. He looks at Jax's back as he climbs the first couple steps, "Jax?"

Jax turns around and looks at him. "Be good to her."

Jax exhales, "Dylan…what is this about?"

Dylan sets his hand in his pocket, "She wants you…not me and I'm doing what she asked and you asked and respecting it. Just…treat her right…don't lie to her, don't cheat on her, don't push her away when all you want is to let her in. Don't take off without telling her why or where your going." His voice breaks, "Just…be good to her…make her happy." He whispers the last part.

Jax stares at him and nods, "I will."

Dylan nods once and leaves his heart breaking in a million pieces. Jax climbs the rest of the stairs and goes to the second door to the left.

"Bren?" His heart breaks seeing her. She is laying in her bed, crying her eyes out.

"Jax?" She looks up shocked.

"Are you okay?" He walks in hesitantly. Making sure this is okay with her, okay that he's here.

She wipes her face quickly, "What are you doing here?" She asks softly

"Dylan called me…he said you needed me." He walked the rest of the way in, sitting next to her. His hand comes to her leg.

"He did?" She asks surprised.

Jax smiles slightly and nods. Brenda cries harder realizing what he's done and what it means that he called Jax. She's touched and terrified and shocked and heartbroken, even though this is what she asked for. He's letting her…let him go.

"Hey…hey pretty girl." He breathes, toe to heel taking off his shoes before he climbs in bed with her. He takes her into his arms and holds her. Whispering adoring sentiments to her as she cries. When she settles down she tells him why she is crying.

"I asked him…to let me go. To let me be happy. We hashed out some past stuff and it's just been a shitty morning."

Jax kisses her head softly. "I'm sorry." He coos, "I'm sorry you had a shitty morning."

"I should get up my daughter is going to be wondering where I am." She looks into his eyes. They're loving and honest and sweet.

"Dylan said he was going to meet Iris and Olivia at the park…Erica went too."

"Oh." Brenda breathes out practically relieved. The last thing she wanted was Olivia seeing her like this. Silence fills Brenda's bedroom as they look into each others eyes.

"Bren." Jax looks down and swallows hard, "This is what you want? You." He breathed out trying to find the courage to tell her what was on his mind. "You just…seem really upset over Dylan…"

Brenda cups his face, "It's been a rough morning but…I want to be happy…you make me happy." She whispered before pressing her lips to his. Jax deepens it. His fingers tangling into her hair. The kiss gets heated and soon Jax is kissing down her neck sensually. He groans ands squeezes his eyes shut. "Come on." He leans away from her with a smirk.

"What? Why?" Brenda says disappointed. She reaches down rubbing the thick bulge in Jax's jeans. He chuckles and groans again.

"Uh uh…come on." He sits up a little putting space in between them.

Brenda pouts, "But…no one is home." She gives him a sneaky smile and reaches for him. He kisses her again but this time sweet.

"I know what you want…and." He breaths out and shakes his head reigning in his need for her, "I want it too, more than anything." He laughs, "But…let's not press our luck. It was cool…of Dylan to call me and" Jax shrugs cutely, "I want it to be okay that I come here, this is where you live but its also where Dylan lives, I don't think having sex with you in Dylan's house at this point is the way to do that. And besides." Jax's lips take Brenda's again, "My 3 condoms lay awaiting in my bedside drawer…not here." He laughs and Brenda smiles wide.

Brenda exhales, "Technicality."

Jax throws his head back and laughs, "Come on sexy. We'll make breakfast for everyone." Jax stands up looking down at her with the sweetest, most handsome expression. He reaches out for her hand. Brenda takes a deep breath with a smile, placing her hand softly in his. Grabbing his shoes off the floor he tightly holds Brenda's hand in his own as they descend the stairs and to the kitchen.

Brenda leans on the counter watching Jax in the kitchen. She reaches for a strawberry, his eyes meet hers as she bites down into it. He breaths heavily out his nose and shakes his head.

"You are evil…you know that?" The look of lust in his eyes.

Brenda giggles, moving closer to him. She looks down at the spread. Jax has made pancakes and a huge fruit salad. Then her head tilts to the side admiring the plate he makes in front of him. Brenda smiles, there he has made two pancakes, banana's for eyes on both, a blueberry in the middle of the banana like a pupil. A strawberry cut in half set on each side that looks like wings and a raspberry in the middle as a beak. It's two little owls. She looks up at him.

"Oh my god." She says surprised, "That's the cutest I've ever seen. Where did you get that idea?" She looks lovingly into his eyes.

Jax shrugs, "I make these every time I visit my nieces, they're 3 and 4, they love them. You think Olivia will like it?" He looks at her.

Brenda takes another step closer to him. Her hand coming to his face as she moves it forcibly to kiss her. "She'll love it." She whispers against his lips. Jax's hands are roughly around Brenda's waist as he pulls her against him and deepens the kiss. They are in a heavy make out when the front door opens, jarring them quickly apart. Brenda's finger goes under her lip wiping it gently, looking guiltily down, clearing her throat as Dylan, Erica, Iris and Olivia make their way in the kitchen.

Dylan moves to the counter, everyone following, "What do we have here?" His tone happy as he admires the food.

"Brenda!" Erica smiles looking at the spread, "Yum…this is great." She reaches for a piece of fruit popping it in her mouth impressed. "Hello Jax." She smiles a sweet smile at him. She looks at Brenda, the same sweet smile adoring her face. Her eyes apologetic. Brenda smiles back and winks. Confirming all is good with them.

Jax smiles at Erica with a nod respectfully. "Hey." He says nicely.

"Brenda…dear…this looks delicious." Iris smiles, having heard in a nut shell what had happened this morning, from Erica and Dylan while at the park.

"Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with this." Brenda's hand find's Jax's shoulder hinting to the group it was all him.

Olivia pulls on her moms shirt. Brenda looking down with a smile. She picks her up setting her on her hip as she leans into Jax absently. "Are those owls?" Olivia looks at the plate in front of Jax.

"For you mademoiselle princesse." Jax smiles and pushes the plate towards Olivia. Her smile widens.

"Really!? Mommy look they're owls!" She says excitedly. "Wait…Jax tu parle Français?" Olivia says in perfect French.

Jax clears his throat, "Um…what?" he shakes his head with a laugh.

"She asked you if you speak French?" Brenda and Dylan say at the same time. Then their eyes meet.

Jax laughs, "Wow…no…I took it in high school but no not at all." He chuckles a little shyly. "But you do I see princesse Olivia." Iris smiles widely, and looks lovingly at her grand daughter proudly.

Brenda smiles, the three of them huddled together looking down at the owls.

Dylan watches them. Jealousy shoots through his soul. They look like a family. Then it dawns on him, "Wait Olivia…You speak French?" He looks at Brenda.

Brenda smiles at him, "Duh…who do you think my travel buddy was when touring before I got the job here in LA? We even spent 5 months in Paris."

Dylan smiles proudly intrigued, "Papa t'aime de tout son coeur." He speaks to Olivia. Telling her, Daddy loves you with all my heart.

She giggles. "Je t'aime de tout mon coeur aussi papa." Dylan claps once finding this information so amazing. Olivia answered him back, her French is beyond perfect. She said I love you with all my heart too daddy.

"Incroyable!" Dylan stares at his daughter in amazement, still speaking french.

"Let's eat." Iris speaks up seeing Jax look left out for a moment, uncomfortable. "Jax…you sit we'll serve. All this looks amazing dear, thank you for this." She moves and gently pushes him to sit at the table. Brenda sets down Olivia as she runs to sit in her seat. Brenda handing Iris her plate with the owls to put in front of her. Erica moving to join the breakfast table after making a plate, Iris making one for Jax then leaving Brenda and Dylan at the counter.

Dylan moves next to her grabbing a plate in front of him, Brenda grabbing one too. "You taught her french?" He looks at her remembering something from back in London.

Brenda smiles at him, _Of course she did,_ He thought.

"Do you remember that night? On the Seine?" Dylan is speaking lowly as he loads his plate.

Brenda swallows hard and looks up at him. His eyes meeting hers. "Of course I do." Their eyes sharing a moment. She gets lost for a moment then clears her throat as she looks at Jax. He is eating but watching them. She steps away from Dylan and smiles at Jax. Dylan watches her walk towards the table. She sits next to Jax and leans in kissing his cheek. He is chewing with his mouth closed but gives her a smirk.

Dylan loads his plate with food and joins them. He tries not to notice the eyes they make at each other through breakfast, how conversation flows around the table with his family. How even Olivia is polite and piping in whenever she can. How every so often Jax's hand goes under the table to where he assumes is to touch Brenda's thigh. The moment they shared long forgotten as Dylan thinks about one of the many visits to Paris him and Brenda went on. They one when they made a deal.

 _Brenda giggles tipsy as Dylan grabs her roughing as they cross the_ _L_ _e_ _Pont_ _A_ _lexandre_ _-III_ _bridge. He kisses her deeply and moans loudly. "You taste like champagne." He comments aggressively kissing her again his tongue mixing with hers. They were spending the weekend in Paris, celebrating for no reason at all._

 _Brenda pulls away. She looks deeply in his eyes and smiles. She turns and looks out over the Seine. "I love Paris." She breathes._

 _Dylan comes from behind, wrapping his arms around her. He leans down kissing her neck. "Mmmm me too." He breathes into her ear. "I love Paris with you." He adds._

 _Brenda smiles and leans back into him. His arms tightening around her mid section._

 _They silently enjoy the view. "You ever think about having kids?" She asks out of no where._

 _Dylan thinks for a moment, "Honestly…not really…do you?"_

 _Brenda nods once, "Sure, with you…especially."_

 _Dylan moves so he is beside her and looks over at her, "Having kids would change so much." He looks out over the river._

" _Like what?" She bumps her shoulder into his. He looks over at her and smiles lovingly._

" _Like traveling…acting…we wouldn't be able to just pick up and come to Paris for the weekend…or jump on the Euro rail and have dinner in Italy, head down and enjoy the beaches of Nice or Cannes." He names a few of the things they have done together since they've lived together. "We would be tied down. Adulting." Brenda chuckles._

 _Brenda thinks about it for a moment, "Well…I mean we could bring her."_

" _Her?" Dylan chuckles._

 _Brenda shrugs, "She could travel the world with us. We could teach her French. She would have beautiful brown hair. Your eyes. She could be a little globetrotter, seeing the world. Speaking many languages, cultured. Why not?" Brenda looks at Dylan with a smile and shrugs._

 _Dylan smiles wide, "Well…that doesn't sound so bad." He turns towards her, his arms wrapping around her waist again. Pulling her thin frame against him. "Tell you what. If…we have kids someday, boy or girl, we don't let it change us. We teach her or him French. We take them to all the places other kids aren't lucky enough to even see in their lifetime." Dylan kisses her softly._

 _Brenda giggles again. "Deal."_

" _Deal." Dylan says it back sealing the pact._

" _J'espère que notre fille te ressemble_ _." Dylan whispers he hopes their daughter looks like her against her lips in French._

 _Brenda smiles, "I hope she looks like you." She answers back in English._

 _Dylan's arms tighten around her. Pecking her lips quickly. Then in a swift motion, he picks Brenda up, flopping her over his shoulder like a sac of potatoes._

 _Brenda laughs up side down, "What are you doing?" She smacks his butt as he continues walking across the bridge._

 _Dylan spanking her butt too, "Taking you back to the hotel so we can practice making little French babies."_

 _Brenda laughs out loud, "L_ _e vilain_ _." Brenda calls him a bad boy._

" _Don't you know it." He jokes as he carries her the whole way back to their hotel._

Dylan looks at Olivia, then at Brenda where his eyes take her in. Brenda kept their deal. They had a child and she taught her French, even without him. She had remembered. She had remembered that day on the bridge and Dylan's broken heart…felt warm. He smiles looking down at his breakfast continuing to eat it. Seeing them together like that didn't affect him as much as before. He knows what Brenda and he has is real…true and deep. He'll let her let him go for now…but Dylan…won't let _her_ go. Not now…not ever.

 _Alright guys…so tough beginning of the chapter eh? There had to be some line drawn so Brenda could move towards seeing Jax. She is going to have fun, sow some oats. It won't be perfect but it had to be done. Who didn't see that coming? Do you agree? As for Olivia speaking French and the flashback…all together now, AHHHHHHHHH! Tell me what you're thinking people. I want to know everything! And yes for the 5th time...Brenda and Dylan will have a happily ever after!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Here is the newest update! Just a quick note to my readers. I get very mixed reviews regarding Brenda and Jax, some say its lame, some say the story is stupid and some even have stopped reading which I don't understand but to each their own. When it comes to writing a story, there has to be some angst. So the reunion can be magical. How boring would it be if everything fell together so quickly? There wouldn't be much of a story to begin with. I find it a very double standard that its ok for Dylan to date, screw many women and even date Brenda's best friend for years and it be okay. Brenda is a strong woman protecting her heart and Dylan will eventually break through those protective walls. If this story is not for you then don't read it. I'm just trying to bring some fresh ideas to a story. That being said, here is chapter 19, hopefully the haters will ween out so the actual team Brenda fans can enjoy it. Brenda and Dylan forever!_

 _Chapter 19_

 _The Way I Loved You_

Brenda cuddles into Jax as his arms tighten around her. She closes her eyes and sighs happily. The sex is beyond phenomenal. She is smitten and it almost takes her by surprise.

"Brenda?" Jax whispers, his lips kiss her face.

"Hm." She hums content.

He shifts a little so he is face to face with her, "You can say no but…I'm going to Arizona next month…to visit my sister and brother and their kids. Will you come with me? I want you to meet my family."

Brenda looks deeply in his eyes. They look nervous, "I mean you can bring Olivia…if you don't want to be away from her…I mean…if it's okay with Dylan, it's only a weekend." He sighs and shakes his head as Brenda smiles. "You don't have too…"

Brenda shushes him with a kiss, "I'd love too." She stays close.

"You would?" He smiles relaxing.

Brenda nods and leans in kissing him deeply again. "I don't know about Olivia but…I'd love to meet your family." She answers honestly. She knows Dylan would probably have a conniption fit. The past week he's been supportive but that may be pushing it.

"Thank you." He whispers before his lips are attached to hers again.

Dylan sets down his birthday present photo album and goes to get the door. He opens it and smiles curiously seeing Kelly holding a box and carrying a tray of two coffees.

"Kel? What are you doing here?" Dylan asks questioning.

Kelly pushes through, "You haven't called me back for coffee so I decided to bring it to you…and pie…everyone needs some peach pie.

Dylan chuckles and shakes his head as he closes the front door. He watches Kelly set down the box and coffee. "It's 9 o'clock at night Kel…coffee?"

Kelly chuckles, "It's decaf…enlighten me." She sits and looks around.

"You alone?"

"Olivia is asleep, So is Iris and Erica is on some date with some guy she met at the club." He shrugged with a roll of his eyes making Kelly laugh.

"And Bren?" Dylan looks down.

"She's…out with Jax."

"Ah I see. Now the not calling me back is making much more sense." She leans back into the couch.

Dylan shakes his head, "I've just been busy…sorry…it doesn't have anything to do with Jax and Brenda." He denies.

Kelly smiles, "Okay…sure."

"It doesn't." Dylan shakes his head and grabs the coffee and sits next to her. Kelly watches him.

"Denial."

Dylan looks at her, "What?" He chuckles nervously.

Kelly leans forward, "There are 5 stages of grief. They look different on all of us but there is always five." Kelly counts on her fingers, "Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance."

Dylan shakes his head with a smile, "Kelly come on."

"I'm serious Dylan, It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. You'e in it right now. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes and let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again and always, every time, it takes your breath away. So…you're in denial."

"Where did you learn that shit Kel, back in your college Psych classes?" Dylan rolls his eyes uncomfortable.

Kelly shakes her head, "No…Grey's Anatomy."

"Fuck that." Dylan laughs out loud. And Kelly joins in.

"There are some life lessons from that show thank you very much."

The two laugh a little until there is silence surrounding them. Dylan looks over at her.

"So 5 stages huh?"

Kelly nods, "Yep."

"So next is anger?" He asks trying not to give away he's interested but failing miserably.

Kelly shrugs, "It's different for everyone. And they can be out of order, plus didn't you kind of have that one already, with the yelling and almost firing Jax?" Dylan sighs.

Dylan leans his elbows on his knees setting down the coffee, "Probably." He breaths out.

Kelly matches his demeanor, "You want to talk about it?"

Dylan swallows hard, "There is really nothing to talk about."

"Dylan? It may make you feel better?"

Dylan exhales loudly and gets up. "They've been dating for a couple weeks, she looks happier and the worst part…the worst fucking part Kel…is I like him. I want to hate him but…he's a good guy. He's a cool guy even. Brought over his motorcycle the other day and took Brenda out for a ride. He has a vintage Harley that was awesome, he even let me take it for a ride. But Brenda? Riding on his motorcycle? She hated my bike."

Kelly shakes her head with a small smile, "She did not hate your bike. She rode on it."

"Barely." Dylan eyes her.

"Who cares Dylan, I rode on your bike all the time. Didn't mean anything."

"Kelly we were going out!" His voice raises. "And you loved my bike."

Kelly shakes her head, "I didn't really. It was fun but I rode because you liked it. I'm sure Brenda is doing the same."

"Kelly you have a shitty way of making someone feel better." he stares at her.

Kelly gets up grabbing the coffees and box. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" He whines

"We don't have ice cream…but we have pie, we have a whole freaking pie."

"Brandon flies in tomorrow." He looks at her seriously.

Kelly stares at him. She drops the pie to the table and sets down the coffee. Dylan watches her head towards the liquor cabinet grabbing a bottle of wine.

"You don't have anything stronger?" Kelly turns suddenly holding the bottle of wine.

"I mean…sober here…2 years."

"Shhht." She shakes her head shushing him. "Fuck the pie…I need wine."

Kelly is in the kitchen rummaging through drawers trying to open Brenda's bottle of wine as Dylan shakes his head. Sure it was mean to take the focus off his relationship woes but she'd find out eventually anyway. Dylan grabs the pie and coffees and follows her into the kitchen. As he sets it down he watches Kelly drink from the bottle. She looks at him nervously.

"He's coming? Tomorrow? Brandon is coming? Here to Beverly Hills?"

Dylan smiles and nods. "Why?" She asks her voice on the verge of panic.

Dylan sits at the counter and lifts one shoulder, "To see his family…his sister and niece? To meet Brenda's new boyfriend?" His voice changes to condescending on that last fact. "Who knows but he'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

Kelly takes another swig of wine, "It's been 5 years since I've seen him." She whispers staring at the counter.

"I know."

Kelly and Dylan are both quiet. Reflecting on their thoughts. "How did we get here Kel?"

Kelly shakes her head, "I don't know." She whispers back. Silence reigns over them again as Kelly takes another long drink from the bottle of wine.

Brenda makes her way in, setting down her purse quietly. She looks down at the couch and sees Kelly laying on it. She has a blanket over here as she sleeps soundly quiet snores surrounding her. Brenda follows the light into the kitchen and is surprised to see Dylan awake and eating pie from the box.

"Why is Kelly on our couch?" She asks curiously, then her eyes look at the pie. _Yum_ she thinks. She stands close to Dylan looking into the box giving a hint she wants some too.

Dylan smiles at her, takes a piece of pie to his fork and feeds it to her, "She got into 2 of your bottles of wine. I wouldn't let her drive home. She's been passed out for over an hour."

Brenda moans eating the pie and it goes straight to Dylan's center, he stares at her. As Brenda nods about Kelly. "How was your date?" He asks nicely.

Brenda nods reaching into the drawer by her grabbing her own fork. "It was good." She says simply.

Dylan nods, acceptance, damn it, stupid Kelly and her stupid Grays Anatomy. "Actually there is something I wanted to talk to you about." Brenda says nervously.

Dylan looks at her, "Jax…asked me to go to Arizona next month to visit his family. It's just for the weekend."

Dylan looks down into the pie and nods. "This is getting serious." He comments.

Brenda shakes her head, "Not really, He's close to his brother and sister. His sister lives in Colorado and his brother in Arizona. It's just not everyday they are all together and his brother is expecting a baby so his wife can't fly."

Dylan swallows hard bringing a another bite of pie to his lips. He is quiet as he watches Brenda do the same. "You gonna go?" He finally asks.

Brenda nods, "Yeah. If I can get off of work." She looks over at him. His eyes not reaching hers, "You okay with this?"

Dylan breathes out a laugh and looks at her, "That's a loaded question." He responds.

Brenda nods knowing it is, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He shakes his head sadly.

"He wanted me to ask you if it was okay for Olivia to join us." Dylan looks at her quickly.

"No." He answers strongly, shaking his head.

Brenda nods accepting, "Okay." She gives him a sad smile.

"Okay? That's it?" Dylan turns towards her setting down his fork. "No fight? No argument?"

Brenda shakes her head, "You're her father Dylan…you have a say."

"Can I have a say in you not going too?" Dylan smiles.

Brenda laughs, "No…you're not my father." She jokes back.

"I can call Jimbo…I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Brenda shakes her head with a smile and touches Dylan's arm. He looks down at it then into her eyes. They stare at each other in silence. Dylan covers his hand with hers. He gives her a nod, "Thank you." He appreciates her understanding.

Her other hand reaches and touches his face. She moves in and kisses his cheek, lingering there for a moment. Dylan closing his eyes, reveling in the closeness. "Night." She whispers and begins to walk away.

"Bren?" She stops and turns around. "You love him?" He looks down before his eyes meet hers.

She crosses her arms and takes a deep breath. "It's only been a couple weeks Dylan." She doesn't answer the question.

He stares into her eyes, "I knew I loved you right away."

Brenda smiles and looks down knowing she did as well. "It's different." She admits.

Dylan smiles and takes a few steps towards her, "Different? How?"

Brenda clears her throat and bites her lip. She sighs, "You know when your screaming and fighting, that intensity that happens when you make up." Dylan swallows hard and nods. "Like the feeling of kissing in the rain or when someone pisses you off so much you curse their name but there is no other name in your brain. When your so in love that you practically act insane? Breaking down…coming undone…a roller coaster kind rush. When you look at the other person and all you can think about is that you never knew you could feel that much. It's overwhelming?"

Dylans heart breaks as he nods, "That's the way I loved you." His eyes meet hers surprised, thinking she was talking about Jax at first.

"Bren." Dylan whispers. "When you say stuff like that you make it really hard to be the better man and keep my promise to you." They stare at each other.

She smiles, "Then I guess it's good you are a better man."

"I'm not that good…you know that." He jokes and raises his eyebrows seductively.

Brenda laughs, "Good night Dylan."

"Night Bren." He watches her head up the stairs. When she is out of sight he sighs.

He purses his lips and looks down, "Dylan?" He looks up quickly to see Brenda sitting on the stairs looking at him. "Um…Kelly being here and too much wine?"

Dylan shakes his head with a smile, "We're just friends Bren and the too much wine was because I told her Brandon was coming."

"Right." Brenda nods feeling dumb for thinking otherwise. "Of course. I don't know why I asked. See you in the morning." She gets up quickly and walks to her bedroom.

Dylans smile widens knowing exactly why she asked. He puts the pie away happily. _Well that wasn't a bad thing_ , he thinks. Then stops.

"Fuck." He whispers. "Denial." He sighs and rolls his eyes, "Damn you Kelly." He cruses her name, but the only name that is swimming around in his brain, is Brenda's.

 _Hit review people, show me some love. For some of of you that haven't checked out my Last Night in London video its posted on the DylanLovesBrenda youtube channel. So if you have time, so a quick DylanLovesBrenda search and check out Happier. I made two but the site blocked the other for copyright…BOOOO Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Stay tuned for a Journals update soon too. Almost done with it. Next up, Brandon comes for a visit. Meets Jax and spends the day with Dylan and his niece. Thanks for being patient._

 _My video_ /363920237 add vimeo dot com in front of that and watch it!


	20. Chapter 20

_Another update! YAY me! Journals is almost finished too but this one was calling me and just wrote itself practically. I do want to add that I hope my last intro didnt offend anyone. I know all my readers are big brenda and Dylan fans so its natural to not like Jax and thats not who I was talking about. Everyone is allowed to feel as they do. It was more the rude comments I get on my video or in here sometimes that were more mean. So hopefully you guys know you are allowed to review your true feelings. Ok here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Brandon is back and the girls gossip about girl things._

 _Chapter 20_

 _Swinging From Chandeliers_

Brenda giggles as she leans against the counter in the Peach pit. Jax kissing her neck before kissing her lips.

"Do you think Nat would mind if I took you on this counter." Jax whispers against her lips.

"He might have a small problem with it." Brenda jokes back. Jax kisses up her neck again as Brenda closes her eyes, "But who cares." She breathes.

The sound of the front door bell sounds out as Kelly and Donna walk in. Brenda was meeting the girls for an early lunch before picking up Brandon from the airport. Then she ran into Jax and the rest is history. Donna and Kelly look to see Jax and Brenda at the counter by the jukebox and they both smile.

"God he's hot." Donna watches them.

Kelly crosses her arms amused, "Yeah he is." they giggle and walk towards them.

Kelly clears her throat, "Well look Donna…burgers and a show."

Brenda frees her lips from his and looks to the girls embarrassed with a wide smile. Jax hiding his face in her neck before turning to both girls.

"Ladies." He smiles widely.

"Jax." Both girls say in unison.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Bren." Donna smiles widely and goes into to hug her tightly.

"Where do you want to sit?" Kelly leans in and gives Brenda a quick hug as well. They had made these plans in the morning when Kelly woke up with her wine headache on Brenda's couch.

Brenda points to a near by booth and Kelly and Donna move the few feet and sit. Brenda looks up at Jax, "I'll see you later."

"I'll be there. Your house 6ish. Can't wait to meet your brother." He smiles nicely and Brenda returns the smile. She leans in and gives him a gentle peck.

"Bye." She whispers before Jax goes in for a longer more inappropriate one. Jax leans out kisses her forehead telling her bye and turns to head back to the club.

"Bye girls." He directs his farewell to Kelly and Donna as Brenda turns to face them. Both Kelly and Donna are watching and smiling knowingly.

Brenda chuckles and takes a seat across from them. She hands the menus that are in front of her and reads over it, "I don't know what I'm feeling like."

Donna clears her throat, Brenda looks up, "Seriously? You have a new boyfriend that looks like that and you think we want to talk about food."

Brenda laughs. "You guys look like your getting along amazingly." Donna's elbow goes to the counter as she leans her cheek in her hand. Brenda looks back and forth between Kelly and Donna and smiles looking down shyly.

"We are." She breaths out and shakes her head. "He's amazing."

"You look happy." Kelly gives her a small smile.

Brenda nods and takes a deep breath, "I am. It's weird. We get along and talk and it's fun getting to know each other…"

"But?" Kelly leans in seeing her face.

"No…no but it's just." She puts her elbows on the table and leans in. "Is it normal to have sex so much?"

Kelly and Donna look at each other and laugh, "And here we thought you were going to tell us an actual problem." Kelly laughs.

Brenda laughs too, "No…it's just we do stuff. He takes me to dinner, makes dinner, movies but we always end up there. Don't get me wrong I like it." Brenda sighs, "I guess I'm just clueless when it comes to relationships, adult ones anyway. It's been a really long time since I've had a serious relationship. Since London and Dylan anyway." Brenda looks down thinking about him.

"Come on Bren don't tell me you and Dylan didn't have a sexy relationship. I saw you two in high school and I can only imagine how it was in London…living together…being older?" Donna pipes in.

Brenda lifts one shoulder, "Of course, Dylan and myself were very physical. But it was different, we had a past, we had history. I guess I'm just surprised that for two people that are just getting to know each other, that part could be so great. Every time we see each other or go out…we have sex."

"Enjoy it Bren. Passion…lust that stuff doesn't last forever." Kelly shrugged lightly, "Jax is a great guy, be thankful you are having sex at all." Kelly looks at her lifting her prefect sculpted eyebrow.

Brenda laughs and nods, "You're right."

"When David and I got back together all those years ago, we literally stayed in bed for days."

Donna sighed dreamily, "Passion does fade but the sex is still awesome so I guess that's a plus."

Brenda smiles, "You and David are lucky Donna, you've been together forever, god I remember how cute and innocent the two of you were in high school, you married your high school sweetheart, doesn't get better than that." She looks down pretending to look over the menu thinking about her high school sweetheart.

Donna smiles and nods, "it wasn't always great Bren. David hurt me over the years. He cheated, he dated my roommate." Kelly looks down with a smile as Donna laughs a little. "We won't even talk about the time he stole money from me."

Brenda's eyes widen but Donna continues, "But…even after all the crap we put each other through…David was always there for me. He loved me unconditionally and he's my best friend. We dated other people. Even fell in love with other people. But…it was always him. We are grounded but man can we still swing from those chandeliers."

Brenda smiles at Donna, her smile fades as she looks down again, Dylan on her mind.

"How are things with Dylan?" Kelly sees Brenda's mind whirling around. Brenda may have been out of their lives for a number of years but she knows her mind is on Dylan.

Brenda takes a deep breath, "Things are good. He's been great with Olivia…"

"And with you and Jax?" Donna asks.

"He's trying and I appreciate it. He's letting me let him go and letting me give this thing with Jax a chance. Dylan is amazing." Brenda says simply. "Dylan has always been amazing."

Donna and Kelly smile as they look at her. "It is weird though." Brenda finishes her statement. "Living with him, seeing him everyday. I mean it's the best thing for Olivia but it does seem weird, I mean Jax comes over often but it's not like he can spend the night."

"Sleep at his house." Kelly shrugs.

Brenda shrugs too, "I like to be there when Olivia wakes up. I'm trying to keep this as normal as possible for her. But he did invite me to meet his family in Arizona next month."

Kelly and Donna's eyebrows shoot up, "Well it's getting serious." Donna comments.

Brenda shakes her head, "That's what Dylan said too. I told him no but maybe it is. I don't know. It's so good…so why do I feel so guilty moving on."

Kelly reaches and grabs Brenda's hand. "Because you have a good heart Bren. Because even after everything…Dylan is still in your heart. He is the father of your daughter. It's natural to feel bad. Have fun…go on dates and end them in bed." All girls laugh, "Everything will turn out how its supposed too. Dylan loves you, when everything is said and done he wants you to be happy."

"Plus Jax has a six pack." Donna nods.

Brenda laughs, "And how so you know that Mrs. Silver." She jokes.

Donna giggles, "Brenda." She stares at her, "You can see it in his t-shirt…that man is gorgeous." Kelly agrees nodding.

Brenda shakes her head with a smile, "It's just hard being everything to everyone. Spending enough time with Olivia, being a mom. Making sure Dylan is comfortable, okay with Jax, Iris being there…and Erica. I'm overwhelmed." She admits.

"Bren…you have to take care of yourself. You know what they always say…put your oxygen mask on before you assist others." Donna smiles.

"Jax is not an oxygen mask Donna, he wants attention and time…he has needs."

"Um…Bren? We saw you with him when we came in. Then you tell us you're having more sex then both of us put together. I think his needs are taken care of." Kelly laughs. Both girls join in.

"Brenda…we're not talking about a husband here, that's a beer belly, were talking about a six pack, were talking about a fling, sewing some oats and having fun. Have fun Brenda, stop thinking about making things better for Dylan and start thinking about yourself." Donna says seriously.

"I don't think Jax is a fling." Brenda says honestly.

Kelly and Donna look at their old friend. They give her a sad smile. "Well then…it shouldn't matter what Dylan thinks then." Kelly adds.

"Kelly do you tell Dylan this same thing when you talk to him?" Brenda smiles wide. Trying to lighten their lunch a little.

Kelly laughs, "God no…I just ask if he wants to talk about it…stuff like that. He usually doesn't though."

Brenda sighs, "And now Brandon is coming. I'm so happy he is, I miss him so much and Olivia adores him. But why do I feel with Brandon coming things are going to get even more crazy? And he's pretty loyal to Dylan, why I haven't a fucking clue." Donna laughs.

Kelly looks down quickly. The mention of Brandon making her nervous again. "Maybe you can have a fling with Brandon Kel? Keep his nosey ass occupied." Brenda giggles.

Kelly's head shoots up as she looks at Brenda then Donna. Donna nods. "Oh no…don't get me involved in this mess. Brenda you're on your own with juggling Jax, Dylan and your brother."

"You sure about that?" Brenda smiles. "I have 2 missing bottles of wine that say otherwise."

"What wine?" Donna looks at Kelly.

Kelly clears her throat, "I'll pay you back." She shakes her head.

Brenda smiles, "No need, just bring over 2 bottles tonight when you come over for dinner. I'm having a barbecue to welcome Brandon back to LA, you're all invited, spread the word."

"Sounds fun…me and David are there, it will be awesome seeing Brandon again." Donna and Brenda look down to their menu finally wanting to decide what they want to eat.

Kelly stares off into nothing, "Yeah…yeah it will." She says quietly. Agreeing but why does it make her feel so nervous too.

Brenda and Dylan walk through the airport both holding Olivia's hand. With security they are forced to wait for him at the baggage claim. They sit on a near by bench to wait. Dylan smiles as he sees Olivia take a book out of her little back pack and makes herself at home on the ground and begins looking through her book.

He looks at Brenda who is also watching her with a smile, "You excited to see Brandon?" His arm comes around her, he lays it across the back of the bench turning towards her a bit.

She looks at him, her smile widening, "Yeah, it's been a while."

His fingers lightly touch her back, he takes her t-shirt to his fingers and gently pays with it. Touching her back fondly yet subtly. Brenda doesn't even think it's weird. "When's the last time you saw Brandon?" She asks interested.

"Ummm." Dylan shakes his head, "Maybe a year…2? It's been awhile."

Brenda nods, "He's excited to be back…and nervous."

Dylan smiles, "Well…he's not the only one. Kelly asked me of all people what she should wear tonight." Dylan chuckles as Brenda joins in. "I told her clothes."

Brenda laughs, "Those two…should be interesting, I've talked to Brandon a lot about Kelly over the years but I've never seen them as a couple. Talked to them on the phone, when we were in London." Brenda looks at Dylan as his eyes meet hers. "They seemed happy. Makes me wonder what happened and why they didn't go through with their wedding." Brenda shrugs, "Brandon has been pretty vague about the whole thing, but it definitely doesn't seem like the feelings weren't there."

Dylan shrugs, "I don't know…sometimes you get confused on what you want. Sometimes you get side tracked I guess."

Brenda looks at him knowingly, "With Kelly you mean." She shakes her head, "You two are hopeless. Toxic almost. Sorry." Brenda shakes her head again, "That sounds mean."

"No…it sounds right." Dylan's thumb caresses her back tenderly, "Me and Kel…we are so much alike…but…Kelly is more noble then me. She's more serious. Expectant. I know this might be weird to say to you of all people, with our pasts and everything. But Kelly and I were always good at the fun…the physical for lack of a better word. Then when it came time to really connect on another level, on a soul level, it just didn't click? Does that makes sense?"

Brenda swallows hard and nods. "I don't know…me and you…we had that physical thing. I mean the kind you ache for. The passionate, screwing on the dinner table." Brenda laughs and looks down, "Getting to 3rd base in secret in a elevator kind of vehement need for each other." Brenda laughs harder, blushing slightly. "Then we had those nights of pure intense passion and love making. The kind you feel in your soul or makes you cry." Brenda looks into his eyes. "But we talked, we supported each other, even in our bad times. We were friends. We had a connection. We got each other. Kelly and I never had that. We got along so much better, when we moved out of a romantic one and into a place of friendship. It was a eye opening experience. There was no expectations or guilt, we were finally able to look at our shared childhood and connect as friends. Kelly and I were all swinging from chandelier types, always waiting for the other show to drop, or the chandelier to give way and completely fall from the ceiling. She was different with Brandon."

"That's makes sense." Brenda smiles, "And where does that leave her and Brandon now? Why didn't it work, were they missing passion?"

"I don't think so. She had it with Brandon. I just think that at the time. They had moved into an adult relationship and maybe she mistook the comfort in him for passion missing. But we know that that raw sexual energy, only takes you so far in a relationship. I think the good ones have both. I mean we had both."

Brenda and Dylan stare into each others eyes. They had the comfortable stable type, but the lust and physical need for each other never waned, still after 3 years, 12 in total if they add the years they have known each other. Brenda clears her throat, thinking about Jax. Maybe it was too early to tell? It seemed they were all swinging from chandeliers.

"I guess I know how Kelly feels about Brandon but I don't really know how Brandon feels. Brandon and I have remained close over the years, but there was just some conversations that were off limits. And even though it was okay with me to talk about Kelly because that part was done for us, maybe it wasn't comfortable for Brandon."

Brenda nods, "I know my brother, he has never gotten over Kelly. So much so that I bet the first thing that comes out of his mouth, after seeing us and getting his bags, will have Kelly's name in it?"

Dylan smiles and holds out his hand, as Brenda's meets his, "You're on. I say he doesn't bring her up until the two of you are alone. And maybe even when you ask." Dylan reaches into his pocket and takes out a twenty dollar bill. His arm that was around the bench takes the other corner of the bill as he holds it out. "20 bucks."

"Deal." Brenda smiles. Dylan shoves the 20 back in his jeans. "Speaking of the devil." She looks out to see Brandon walking towards them. Olivia sees him as she gets up and runs to him. Brenda and Dylan smile getting up from the bench as they watch Brandon catch her in his arms and hugging her tightly. Brandon's eyes close as he holds her, kissing the side of her head lovingly. Brenda and Dylan walk towards them.

"Uh." Brandon grunts as they hug, "Oh Oli girl…I missed you!" He finally looks at Brenda and smiles. He sets Olivia to the ground and reaches to pull his sister into a tight hug. "I missed you too you know."

Brenda closes her eyes and smiles, "God I missed you too." She hugs him tighter.

Olivia stands by her father reaching for his hand. "Uncle Brandon…this is my dad."

Brandon and Brenda finally let go of one another as Brandon smiles widens seeing his old friend. "I think I know him." Brandon jokes. "What's up buddy?" Brandon holds out his hand.

Dylan meets him in a hand shake as the two men pull each other into a firm hug. They pat each other backs sincerely , "Ah…B…it's been too long man."

They separate and smile at each other fondly. Brandon looks back and forth between Brenda and Dylan, "You guys look good. California does you well." He comments not seeing either of them in this town in years.

"Well it looks like Washington is treating you good too." Dylan and Brandon make small talk. He watches Dylan pick up Olivia as they absently walk towards the baggage claim. Brenda smiles, seeing Dylan holding Olivia and Brandon and Dylan together as it should be again. A small vision of how it should be creeps into her mind as she quickly pushes it away.

It doesn't take long for Brandon to get his bag and soon they are walking to the parking lot. Dylan lifts the trunk as Brenda straps Olivia into her carseat. Brandon looks at Dylan setting his bag in the back, "Its good to see you man. With Olivia and Bren." Brandon nods.

Dylan smiles, "It is something. It's good to see you too." They share a smile. As Brenda walks to the back of the car, just as Dylan closes the trunk.

"Hope you aren't too tired, I invited everybody over, they are all so excited to see you."

Brandon nods, silence spreads over them. "I'm excited to see everyone too. Is Kelly coming?" He asks nonchalantly.

Brenda looks at Dylan with a huge smile, "She is." Dylan purses his lips together and nods.

Brandon doesn't get the exchange as he smiles and nods, opening the passenger door climbing in. Brenda holds out her hand, as Dylan rolls his eyes and slaps the 20 dollar bill into her hand. "Told ya." She giggles as she turns to go to the side of the car. Dylan smacks her butt gently causing Brenda to laugh out loud.

"Smart ass." He shakes his head, moving towards the drivers side getting in. Brenda is still laughing as he sits and looks over at her. She moves her hand to the back of his hair, playing with it gently before setting it on the drivers seat.

Brandon looks between them, some things change and some things stay the same. At that moment he doesn't bring it up but quickly wonders if and when he'll be meeting the new man in Brenda's life. From the looks of these two, things seem to be more comfortable then ever.

Olivia then starts telling her uncle about her new house, her father, grandma Iris and Erica, dance camp and her new best friend Maddie. Brandon listens intently, but out of the corner of his eye he sees the looks Brenda and Dylan give each other through out the drive from LAX to Beverly Hills. Brandon is happy to be home and it looks like this trip is about to get a lot more interesting than he thought it would be.

 _Hit review people! Next up, the bbq, Dylan and Brandon have a heart to heart and Jax meets Brandon. Don't forget Brandon and Kelly seeing each other and all the chaos that it entails. Dylan and Olivia will have their moments too. If not in next chapter then the next. They will be spending some quality time together and Dylan may say something to her that he shouldn't have. Stay tuned!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter 21_

 _In The End…We Only Regret The Chances We Didn't Take_

Brandon takes a sip of his beer as he sit at the counter in Dylan and Brenda's kitchen. He watches them flirt and work side by side preparing the food.

Brandon looks around, "Man you guys this house is insane. It's amazing." He says in awe.

"Thanks bro." Dylan says with a smile.

"I never thought it would be too small for us but lately it's been tight." Brenda smirks as Dylan smirks back, them sharing some inside joke or secret. Brenda looks at her brother, looking clueless. She adds, "We've had Iris and Erica here, it's been cramped."

"That's right. Where are they anyway?" Brandon asked curiously.

"My mom and sister will be back for dinner. They extended their trip and went and checked into the Belage. It was tight around here and they knew you were coming in. They offered…I didn't fight it." Dylan chuckles as Brenda smiles.

"They didn't have to do that. I could have stayed in a hotel, I'm sure even Steve would have taken pity on me and let me back in the Walsh house. Or I guess it's the Sanders house now?" Brandon smiles and shakes his head, "Still weird to imagine."

"Uh uh no way brother…you're staying here with us. It's been forever since I've seen you, even longer since the three of us have gotten to hang out. We figured it out. I'll bunk up with Olivia and you can have my room."

Dylan dries his hands and moves behind Brenda as she mixes the salad with tongs, he presses his body into hers, leaning his lips to her ear. "Or Brenda can bunk up with me." He says seductively. Brandon smirks as he brings his beer to his lips pulling a sip from the long neck.

Brenda pushes her butt into his crouch to give them some distance, "You wish." She went to smack him lightly in the gut with her tong but he moves out of the way with quickness, bringing his hand out quickly and tickling her side. She laughs out loud as Brandon watches these two long lost lovers flirt to high hell.

"Dylan…be a dear and stir the beans and grab me the pepper hun."

"Sure thing." He comments and does what she asks. Brandon shakes his head shocked just how perfect they are together after all these years. How could these two be platonic? They sure as hell don't act like it.

Dylan comes back to the counter looking down at what Brenda is doing, now she is mixing potato salad. She sprinkles pepper and stirs again. He leans into her and without words Brenda knows he wants a taste. She takes a spoon from the counter and dips it in the bowl bringing a taste it to his lips.

"Does it need more salt?"

Dylan chews quietly and nods, "A little. Mmmm so good." He talks with his mouth full a little giving a moan of appreciation.

Brandon takes a sip of his beer again, they are different but the same. It's oddly comforting with a side of what the fuck. He realizes he hasn't seen Brenda and Dylan as adults together.

"So…how is it living together?" He says cheeky. He smirks at them when they make eye contact with him.

Brenda and Dylan look at each other then back at Brandon's amused expression, "It's good." Brenda says, "It took some getting used too." She jokes and Dylan laughs out loud. It definitely hasn't been smooth sailing.

"It's like riding a bike." Dylan jokes too, he wraps a tight arm around her waist bringing her into his side. He kisses her head sweetly before letting go.

Brandon sets down his beer and chuckles, "I have to be honest with you guys. I didn't know if this was the best idea." He says heartfelt. "I mean…with your past and stuff but you guys seem tight. Strong even. It's good seeing you two getting along and doing the parenting thing."

"We're doing good." Brenda leaves it at that as she pushes the potato salad towards Dylan. "Keep stirring slave boy." She adds salt. Making a whipping noise with her mouth.

"Oooo that's hot." Dylan smiles and giving her a wink.

She rolls her eyes playfully and begins chopping mushrooms and onions to grill for the steaks.

DING DONG

Brenda looks down at her onion hands. "Can you get that Dylan?"

"I got it." Brandon's hands came out.

"You sure." Dylan asked still stirring.

"Yeah…you guys have been slaving away and you're letting me crash here. It's the least I can do." He gets up with a smile and heads to the door.

He clears his throat covering his mouth as he reaches for the handle. Opening up the door he's greeted with a friendly smile. "You must be Brandon." Jax says holding two bottles of wine, a red, a white and two six packs of what looks like beer. His hands are full.

Brandon reaches to help. "Here let me help." He takes the six packs from him as Jax makes his way inside. Brandon holds out his free hand. Carrying one of the 6 packs under his arm and the other hangin from his fingers.

"And you must be Jax." They shake hands, "Brenda has told me a lot about you." Brandon smiles nicely.

"Likewise…it's nice to meet you man." They follow each other into the kitchen setting down the booze.

"Hey sweetie." Brenda smiles widely. Jax comes to her side of the counter with an equally happy grin.

"Hey beautiful." He leans in and they kiss. It's a loud smack of a peck.

Brandon eyes their exchange, seeing him kiss her temple softly after her lips. "Hey man." Jax holds out his hand and Dylan meets his in a friendly hand shake. Brandon just observing this whole crazy thing.

"Thank god you're here. Kelly drank all my wine, thanks for bringing some. Do you mind opening the red and pouring me a glass?" Brenda pouts and tries to look cute.

Jax smiles, "How can I say no to that face." Brenda giggles as Jax smacks her butt and then proceeds to open the wine for her. Brandon eyes Dylan. Who is acting fine, no scowl, no roll of the eyes. Just preparing the steaks.

Brandon thinks about what Brenda said. "Kelly drank all your wine?" He asks curiously.

Brenda and Dylan both laugh, "She needed it…I guess."

Dylan nods knowingly. "She's bringing some though…so we'll have plenty for dinner." Brenda adds.

Brandon eyes the beer Jax brought. "Ballast Point…Grapefruit Sculpin IPA? Any good?"

Jax comes over and takes a bottle out of the pack, "You got to try it. It's a beer brewed down in San Diego. But they have a Brewery here in Long Beach now." Dylan looks over interested as well even though he can't drink it. " Jax looks at him, "I just got a few cases to try out at the After Dark, people are loving it."

Dylan nods, "Nice. What's that one?" Dylan directs to the second six pack.

"This is for you. Another addition to the club. It's non alcoholic, its actually pretty good." Jax gives him a nervous smile. He isn't sure how he'll react. Brenda smirks and pretends to keep busy with dinner.

Dylan is quiet and then looks grateful, "Wow man…thanks. That's awesome. Let me try one of those." Jax hands him the bottle and then hands the IPA to Brandon. All the boys use the bottle opener.

Jax holds out his beer, "Welcome home Brandon."

Brandon leans his bottle in Dylan following, they all smile at each other, "Wait me too." Brenda grabs her glass of wine and moves next to Jax. He wraps his arm tightly around her waist. She holds it out among the beers, "Welcome home Brandon." She repeats.

"To old friends and new." Brandon adds, giving Jax a warm smile. They all clink their drinks together as they sip their own.

"It's good. Thanks man. This was cool of you." Dylan nods appreciatively. No one has ever thought of Dylan like that. It wasn't hard for him not to drink at their gatherings, but no one had ever really thought about doing something like this and it touched him. Plus it felt good to hold a beer bottle again. One he was allowed to drink. "I might have to bring a case home from the club." He jokes before taking another sip.

They all chuckle a little. Jax helps and sticks the beers in the fridge to keep cold.

"Jaaaaax." Olivia runs into the kitchen.

"There is the princess of the house." He picks her up, "I was wondering where you were."

"Was getting ready…it takes some time to look this cute…duh!"

The kitchen chuckles as Jax smiles at her. "Silly me."

"You met my uncle Brandon?"

"I did. You are the luckiest girl I know. All these awesome people around you."

"I know." She says knowingly. "He lives in Washington…DC not the state mommy said. He's my favorite uncle."

Brandon smiles, "I'm your only uncle Oli."

Olivia gives a cute shrug, "It was an easy decision."

Brandon laughs out loud, reaching for his niece. She willing goes into his arms. "I forgot how much fun you are Olivia. I miss you to pieces, you know that?" He tickles her as she laughs out loud. She hugs him tightly around the neck. Brandon closes his eyes. He hates not seeing this angel everyday. He looks at Dylan as he visually melts hugging her.

Dylan nods, "I know man." He gets it.

DING DONG

"Alright." She picks up the large pan of steaks, "Grill master." She hands the pan to Dylan, "You boys start the meat and I'll get the door." Brandon sets Olivia down as she takes his hand.

"Come on uncle Brandon, come see me ride my bike. I love my bike, I love it so much. Thank you by the way. Daddy says he is going to teach me how to ride it without training wheels." She talks and talks pulling him out back. The guys follow listening to every word she says like it's the most important information they'll ever hear.

Brenda opens the door with a smile seeing Kelly. She stands looking nervous. "Hey you." She allows her room to enter.

The give each other a hug, "Kelly carries a 6 pack cardboard case of wine, "The replacements and extra." Kelly holds it up with an embarrassed smile.

Brenda laughs taking it from her. "Come on in. The boys just started grilling and I have an opened red if you want. Or we have white." She lifts having a little of everything at this point.

"Red's fine." Kelly swallows hard and takes off her sweater setting it on her purse on the table. She rubs her hands nervously down her jeans. "Am I early?" She looks around following her into the kitchen.

Brenda sets the wine on the counter, "Right on time, Donna called, her and David should be here any minute. Steve is on his way I think. Olivia, Dylan, Jax and Brandon are out back." Brenda pours Kelly a glass of wine. "You okay?" She takes the glass taking a sip and nods. Brenda smiles and moves towards her. "Kelly don't be nervous. My brother adores you. He always has."

Kelly smirks shaking her head, is she that obvious? "I'm sorry." She peaks out the back not being able to see anything, "It's been so long. I know its dumb. It's just Brandon."

Brenda smiles holding out her glass for a cheers, "It's just Brandon." She reiterates.

Kelly takes a deep breath clinking her glass against hers, Brenda turns to grab a tray of appetizers. "It's just Brandon." Kelly whispers as she follows Brenda out the back.

"Oh my god I remember you." Brandon laughs, "Jaxson O'Neill…dude…we met a bunch of times when we would cover all the sports between Beverly and West Beverly. I can't believe I didn't put it together. Now I see it you look the same man."

Jax laughs out loud, "You are that Brandon Walsh? Holy shit." He shakes his head, "What a trip."

Brenda smiles looking between her brother and boyfriend, "What did I miss?" She says confused.

Brandon stands against the railing of the covered patio. His crystal blue eyes meet Kelly's as she stands next to Brenda. His eyes are intense as he takes her in. Strappy heels showing her manicured toes, tight blue jeans that rest low on her slim hips. A satiny shiny emerald green tank top hugs her upper body. An inch of her midriff shows showing pale porcelain flawless skin across her slim waist. Her shirt is out lined in black lace and shows tasteful cleavage. Her hair longer than her shoulders a darker golden blonde, a darker than he's ever seen it. A casual grin spreads across Brandon's face as his eyes meet hers.

Jax pulls Brenda into his lap, "I actually know your brother." He shakes his head still thinking it's crazy.

No one really noticing the fireworks of reunion on the patio. Except Dylan. It's either notice them or stare unwillingly at Brenda sitting on Jax's lap. "Hey Kel. You remember this guy right." He jokes with a smile. Sipping his new favorite party drink, his non alcoholic beer.

Brandon stands up straight, he shakes his head, "Kelly Taylor, still as beautiful as ever." He says without shame. He steps towards her. They stare at each other for a few more seconds before he wraps his arms around her. Kelly finally breathes. His embrace familiar and warm. She smiles, "Brandon." She whispers closing her eyes. Her hand coming to the back of his head as she feels his hair.

Brenda looks up at Dylan meeting his eyes. A smirk on both their lips. Jax leans in to Brenda's ear, "This is better than a movie." Brenda giggles quietly and nods.

Brandon pulls away and keeps his hands on her hips, "God…it's been forever. How are you?"

Kelly's smile is bright, she looks down before looking into his eyes. "I'm great. How's Washington?"

He shrugs a little dropping his hands, "It's Washington…political and conservative."

"Like you're ever there." Jokes Brenda.

"Touché." He moves and sits down on the wide outdoor couch. He pats the space beside him. Kelly moves finally and joins the group sitting close to Brandon.

"Brando!" Steve is loud and boisterous. "Door was unlocked." He moves as Brandon stands. They hug roughly, "God man…sight for sore eyes." He slaps his back a couple times and pulls away. "Not cool man…not cool. Staying away from me and Beverly Hills is not cool." He reprimands him.

Brandon chuckles, "I know…I know." He holds up his hands. Janet smiles and moves in kissing Brandon on the cheek, "I can't believe your still with this guy."

Janet laughs, "Tell me about it." She jokes.

They make their way around the group, giving kisses on the cheeks, hugs or hand shakes.

"Grab a beer, cooler and fridge are stocked." Dylan says nicely, "Wine inside if you want Janet."

Brenda gets up, "I'll get you one, white or red?"

"Red thanks." Janet smiles and takes a seat. Steve grabbing a beer from the ice chest set to the side. Donna and David come, Iris and Erica and soon they are sitting around the outdoor table eating, drinking and laughing their asses off. This group can always pick right back up. Maddie and Olivia chatting away and having the time of their lives.

After a few hours most of the gang heads home. Olivia going home with Steve and family claiming she is having her first slumber party. The only ones left are Jax, Brenda and Kelly who are in the kitchen cleaning up, Brandon and Dylan catch up on the patio enjoying the fire pit.

Brandon eyes Kelly through the window. She is smiling and chatting inside with Brenda. Dylan notices where his eyes are, "So…how was it?"

"How was what?" Brandon looks at Dylan confused.

"Seeing her."

Brandon shrugs, "It was good seeing everyone."

Dylan leans his elbows on his knees, "You can talk to me about her…you know that right? We're friends…nothing more. It's not weird for me what so ever. Kelly and me have been just friends for over 3 years. It's better that way and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Brandon smiles his tongue running across his teeth as he takes a deep breath, "I know man."

Dylan leans back, "Well I wasn't sure. All the times we met up over the years she never came up."

"Funny because all the times we met up before, my sister didn't come up much either. I mean not really anyway."

Dylan nods, "I know. I wanted to know how she was doing, what she was doing. I was a little nervous to know more."

Silence falls over the two best friends. Finally Brandon speaks up. "I'm sorry man."

Dylan looks at him surprised. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about your daughter. I wanted too. I just…felt like it wasn't my place." He says honestly.

Dylan sighs, "I know B. She's your sister man. I don't blame you for not telling me."

Brandon gets serious, "It wasn't because she told me not too." He admits, "When I left here. I was suppose to marry Kelly. I had gone to Washington after we called it off for a summer internship. They offered me the job right away and the only thing I thought about was leaving her. Not living in the same city. But when I came home to make that decision she had moved on. She was dating some lawyer."

"Matt." Dylan says and rolls his eyes.

Brandon chuckles and nods, "She was opening her store with Donna. She was happy without me. So I took the job and left." Brandon looks sadly at Dylan. "There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about her. And then you come back here. And after time she lets you back in just like that. My sister sends me an email of this positive pregnancy test and I was floored. I called her and she was hysterical. You had left her and she was pregnant and alone" Dylan looks down sadly. "I was so mad you at you. For leaving my sister again. Coming out here and trying to get Kelly back. I was a jealous ass. She didn't want me to say anything and that came easy because I didn't think you deserved to know and that was just my screwed up way of being angry." Dylan looks at him, "We started talking again and meeting up and slowly that anger faded away. But if I didn't ask about Kelly, that anger stayed faded. I was angry for a long time about the two of you. For my sister who struggled so much in the beginning." Brandon takes a deep breath. "It wasn't fair of me to involve my personal feeling especially because you did deserve to know."

Dylan reaches over and grabs his shoulder with a squeeze. "I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to hurt Brenda or you." Dylan breathes out. "There is so many regrets man." He shakes his head.

"There is no point in looking back Dylan. You can't change it. It's how you deal with it now that counts."

Dylan and Brandon look into the windows of the kitchen when they hear deep laughter. Jax pulls Brenda to him and kisses her softly. Dylan stares. Brandon's attention going to Dylan's

"So…this guy Jax is he a good guy?"

"You know him apparently." Dylan says simply peeling the label from his beer. A little bit of jealousy in his own voice.

Brandon laughs, "I knew him in passing really. We talked a couple times. He was always a cool guys. Good writer. But that was so long ago. I have no clue what kind of man he's become."

Dylan takes a deep breath, he looks at his best friend, "Honestly." Brandon nods once, "He's great. I even like him. He treats her right. He worships the ground she walks on. Olivia likes him and he's sweet to her. Believe me I want to hate him. I did hate him for awhile, I've always owned Brenda's heart and maybe I'm an asshole for saying this. But I knew it. I knew no other women would ever love me like Brenda did. The thing is she owned me too."

Brandon groans and leans back in his chair. "It should be you." He says simply.

Dylan smiles sadly at his old friend, "It's not."

Brandon leans forward, "Come on man. I see the way you look at her. I see the way she looks you. They just started going out. You can't tell me your okay with this?" Brandon shakes his head, "You guys are a family. She should be with you."

Dylan chuckles and shakes his head, "You think I don't want that Brandon? You think I haven't tried? She's happy with him. I fucked up and hurt her. She let go."

"But you love her." It's not a question.

Dylan eyes him. He looks down, "I love her so god damn much it kills me to see her with him but what can I do?" His eyes meet Brandon's.

"Fight for her. You say you have these regrets what the hell are you going to do about it?"

Dylan shakes his head, "Brandon…you're like a brother me. Sometimes I even thought maybe one day we would actually be brothers. I'll tell you right know, I have done some messed things in my life, but the biggest regret I have is leaving your sister. I don't have a doubt in my mind we would be married, I wouldn't have missed anything with Olivia. Maybe we would even be expanding our family by now. I wrecked her and you know it and I know it and there is just nothing I can do to take that back."

Brandon looks at Dylan he shakes his head. A small smile appears on his face. "Jax can be great, he can be all those things you said he is but you're forgetting one huge point here."

"Whats that?"

"He isn't you. Please don't question my intelligence. I watched you in the kitchen all over each other. She might be happy and trying with this guy but she's still in love with you. You do still own her heart and it would take an idiot to not see that."

Dylan looks at Brenda through the window. She smiles a beautiful smile at Kelly then her eyes meet his. Her smile changes but its still as glorious as the one before. He sighs, "B she completely owns me too. She always has."

Brandon turns his head and looks as Kelly's eyes meet his through the window. She smiles at him, "Everything will work out like its suppose too bro. You'll see." Brandon smiles back.

Dylan grins, "With Kelly too?"

Brandon looks at Dylan quickly knowing their exchange was caught, "Anything is possible."

"Damn Straight." Dylan smiles as they clink the long neck of their beers together again.

Brenda peaks her head into Dylan's room. She sees him sitting up in bed with a book in his lap as he reads. "You got a sec?"

"For you always." He closes the book setting it on his end table. "Pull up a seat." He pats the empty side of the bed with a smile.

She smiles back and moves into his bedroom. She climbs into his bed taking a seat next to him, her back resting agains the head board. "It's weird without Olivia." She states.

Dylan looks at her with a nod, "It is." Her eyes meet his. "I thought you were staying at Jax's?" Dylan swallows hard, hating the thought.

Brenda shrugs, "It's Brandon's first night back. He understood." She leaves it at that. The truth being he did understand and was also disappointed. It wasn't everyday Olivia didn't sleep at home.

"You know how Kelly wasn't going to drive because of the wine." Dylan nods. "I was locking up the house she isn't down there. And my bedroom door is closed." She eyes him.

"Really…huh?"

"You think their doing it?" Brenda's smile widens.

"God I hope so." Brenda smacks his chest as Dylan laughs out loud. "What? She needs to get laid."

Brenda shakes her head, "But ew! It's my bed. I'm going to have to wash my sheets and buy a new mattress."

Dylan wraps his arm around her shoulder bringing her into him, "It's not that bad. And its not that surprising either. They have been eye fucking each other all night"

Brenda groans, "They have haven't they?" She feels him nod against her head.

Silence fills the bedroom.

"How is it so easy for them?" Brenda says seriously.

"What do you mean?"

She sits up and looks into his eyes, "They haven't seen each other in five years, it only takes them one night before they're sleeping together. I mean whether they are actually doing anything to not. They felt comfortable enough to share a bed.

Dylan lifts his fingers and plays with her hair, "I mean…we almost slept together the first night, it's kind of the same thing isn't it?"

"We really only kissed." She smiles.

Dylan gives her a questioning look, "No I had ever intention on sleeping with you."

Brenda laughs. Silence stirs around them again. Dylan shrugs, "Different story Bren. Different relationship, different obstacles. They're not us."

"So it's easier somehow, to just go there?"

Dylan shrugs quickly, "You want to make love? Let's go." He leans in trapping Brenda against the mattress with the upper half of his body. She giggles trying to get away.

"Dylan…come on." She laughs and he joins her.

They are laying now, close, staring at each other with heat and familiarity. "I should go to bed." Brenda goes to get up.

"You can stay." His hand reaches out stopping her.

She shakes her head and smiles a sad smile at him, "That's not a good idea."

"Why not? Olivia's bed is tiny. You would be so much more comfortable here. Can't two friends share a bed?" Dylan's hand caresses her arm, his intense eyes staring into hers.

Brenda lets out an uncomfortable laugh and gets up. She stands looking at Dylan.

"I think there is nothing wrong with two friends sharing a bed, but that's not us babe." She takes a deep breath, "Let's not do something that we may regret." She smiles a little and begins to walk towards the door.

"Bren?" She turns in the doorway, resting her hand on the frame.

"In the end…we only regret the chances that we didn't take." He watches her lovingly.

She seems to be thinking. Quiet and contemplative. Nervous and maybe even thinking about it.

"You know you're always welcome in my bed." Dylan says lightening the mood, seeing her discomfort.

Brenda laughs and shakes her head, "Good night Dylan."

He winks at her, "Sweet dreams Bren." He watches her leave and he breathes out.

Maybe Brandon was right. Maybe everything would work out how it was suppose too? Dylan did always know that he owned Brenda's heart and maybe that was something he always subconsciously took advantage of. He wasn't going to now. He feels it in their touch, he sees it in her eyes, he still owns her heart and she owns his right back. She may be with Jax for now and thats okay, because no matter how great he is, he can't make her love him. He can't make her heart feel something it won't. Not when its his. And he has every intention in the world to make her see that.

 _Hit review my loyal readers. So Brandon and Kelly? Are they? Aren't they? Too fast? Maybe they're just sharing a bed? Tell me what you're thinking. Sorry I didn't go to detail into the party and everyones interactions. I thought it was more important to focus on Brandon and Dylan's heart to heart. Next up, Dylan and Olivia spend some quality time together and he probably shouldn't have said what he tells her. We find out what happened with BK and Brandon and Brenda discuss what the hell she's doing, him showing her exactly what team he's on much to her disappointment. Already started working on the next chapter but I do intend to update London as well. It's a light hearted chapter that revolves around Tyler and Angie a little. Hope everyone likes it. Thanks for reading. And trust me with this story. The ending will make everyone SOOOOO happy!_


	22. Chapter 22

_this chapter is dedicated to my friend and loyal reader starlite22. Not only is she a huge BD fan she also is a big fan of Jax! Heres a little smut for ya! And to everyone else enjoy!_

 _Chapter 22_

 _Confusions Of The Heart_

Brandon kisses Kelly deeply. His tongue meeting hers in a frantic need. "God it's been so long." He breaths into her mouth going in and kissing her longer.

"Should we be doing this?" Kelly whispers but attacking his mouth with hers.

"I have no idea." Brandon says quickly so his lips don't have to leave her long. His hand cups her face, she moans as he ravishes her. He pulls away and looks into her eyes, "All I know is that I've been wanting to do this all night." He reaches and unties the small tie in front of Kelly's breasts. "I've thought about it for 5 years….I've dreamed about it and nothing came close the real thing." He kisses down her neck gently. Kelly closes her eyes.

"Me too." She breathes. "What does it mean? You live so far? Why now? It's been 5 years Brandon and this feels so right…God I want you. Maybe we shouldn't do this? Maybe I should go home? What does this mean Brandon?" He hushes her with a hot needed kiss.

"Did you always talk this much?" He smiles at her knowing that she kind of did. Kelly laughs out loud.

"I'm sorry." Her hand comes to her face embarrassed.

His hand comes to her face as she looks into his eyes again. He pushes her hair from her face. Her eyes showing bright in the darkness of the bedroom. "I don't know what it means but I do know that I missed you." He breathes. "Everyday since I left."

"You have?" Her voice soft and high.

He nods and kisses her softly, "And if I don't get inside you soon…I'm gonna combust." He attacks her again and she giggles loudly.

Brenda lays with her eyes open, turning her head to the giggling sounds of Kelly next door. She growls and grabs the pillow over her head. "You have got to be kidding me." She grunts into it. The pillow flops back onto the bed as she stairs at the ceiling. "I should have had more wine." She shakes her head. She makes a face hearing her brother groan loudly and then the fast pace bang of the headboard against the wall.

"Holy shit…hell no." She grabs Olivia's pillow and blanket and walks into the hall.

She runs into Dylan. Shirtless in his boxers looking amused, "Do you hear them? They're going at it."

Brenda grunts grabbing his arm and pulling him towards his bedroom. It's farther down the hall and the sounds of sex get a little quieter. Dylan watches Brenda throw down her pillow on the couch he has in the sitting area of his master suite. "He's buying me a new mattress." She says stating a fact. There is no way she is sleeping in that bed. Her head turns towards the wall. It's a lot quieter but the moans of Kelly and Brandon and the headboard still surround them. "Remind me never to have sex in there when Olivia is home."

Dylan's face transforms from amused to pissed. "I'm reminding you now, don't even think about it!" he says too firm, too stern, on edge and jealous. _Unless its with me_ he thinks.

Brenda laughs. She looks at the wall again, "Holy shit they're…" she speechless.

"Fucking…and it's about time. I think Kelly might have cobwebs." Dylan says and Brenda looks at him quickly.

"Gross." She winces throwing her pillow at him. He catches it easily with a chuckle.

"You're seriously going to sleep on that couch? Brenda I have a big bed. We won't even touch each other." He walks slowly towards her. Setting the pillow down on the couch, looking down at her, his eyes intense.

There is that look again the contemplative reflective one. Dylan takes matters into his own hands. He bends down quickly and throws her over his shoulder.

Brenda squeals, "Dylan…Put me down." Dylan smacks her butt walking towards his bed.

"You're so stubborn." He tosses her on the bed with a bounce. "Go to bed." He reaches down bringing the covers over her.

Brenda lays quiet as she watches him walk over to his side. He sits and then lays down. She sighs out loud, "This is so wrong." She says it out loud but its more for herself.

Dylan looks over at her, "Jax isn't going to know. It's pretty obvious the only ones getting laid tonight are Brandon and Kelly. Nothing is going to happen. Close your eyes and get some sleep." He moves his head straight again and closes his eyes.

Brenda swallows hard. Dylan's bed is so comfortable. She hasn't been in it before. She moves a little getting comfortable. Her thoughts go to Jax and she groans.

"What now?" Dylan is annoyed. He's annoyed at the blatant sex noises coming at him from Brenda's room. He's annoyed that Kelly and Brabndo are catching up and getting down to business and he's not with Brenda. He's annoyed that Brenda's first time in his bed is just two friends sharing one.

"I'll know." She looks over at him.

"What?" He says confusion written all over his face.

"You said Jax won't know…I'll know." She says it softly.

Dylan takes a deep breath, "You want me to sleep on the couch?" His voice clearly still annoyed and disappointed.

Brenda swallows hard and shakes her head. "I'm being dumb." She closes her eyes. Dylan looks at the side of her face. After a few seconds he looks to the ceiling again. He sighs out loud and closes his eyes. The head board hitting the wall faster louder. "God…Brandon." Kelly moans loudly.

"Ugggghhhh. Have they no shame?" Brenda grabs the pillow bringing it to her head. "Distract me."

Dylan moves, scooting closer to her. He picks up the pillow from over her face and looks down at her. Brenda's eyes look into his. His brown eyes blink down at her. The sounds of Kelly and Brandon fade even though they haven't stopped. His eyes sends electricity humming in her veins. He smiles, she smiles quiet surrounding them and in one swift motion their lips touch. Dylan opens his mouth and her delicious tongue finds his, heating every part of his body. Their kisses are languid and deep, chasing and tasting. They sizzle like fireworks on a hot summers day. Dylan's mouth claims hers, no it demands hers. Warm lips pushing hers open. They kiss eagerly, their tongues dancing a familiar dance and melody. Brendas hand comes to his face and then into his hair as she feels the soft waves move through her fingers.

"Dylan." She whispers heated and wet with need.

"Bren." He whispers back before taking her lips to his own again. The kiss softer now. Like a whisper of promise and truth. His tongue dips into her mouth licking her top lip and then pulling her bottom one between his teeth. Brenda moans while Dylan groans. They separate and silence surrounds them.

"I think they're finished." Dylan whispers against her lips. She doesn't even remember why she was annoyed. Her mind is mush. Dylan moves to his side of the bed and closes his eyes.

Brenda is surprised as she looks over at him, "Are you serious right now?" His eyes meet hers. "What the hell was that?"

"You said to distract you."

"Distract me from hearing them have sex."

"I did didn't I?" Dylan smirks proudly.

"Well." She breaths out, "Why did you stop?"

Dylan scoots over and pecks her softly on the lips, "because…you're not mine. And when I push inside you the next time, our souls will shift, our minds will come apart. It will be forever changed. You'll be mine forever, not you going back to your boyfriend the next day. I won't share you."

He moves to his side away from her, "Night Bren." He says calmly.

Brenda looks at the ceiling. _What the fuck just happened? And how the hell was he able to just turn the tables on her like that?_

Brenda wakes up in an empty bed. She takes a deep breath and sits up. She feels stunned, embarrassed and confused. She can't believe she would have had sex with him. She is thankful Dylan is stronger than her. _You'll be mine forever…I won't share you._ Her hand runs down her face. She throws the covers off and pads down the hall and down the stairs. She sees Kelly and Brandon drinking coffee making eyes at one another.

"Morning." She says with a yawn grabbing her own cup.

"Good morning dear sister, how did you sleep?"

She sips her coffee turning around and facing them. "Would have slept a lot better without all the noise." She smirks at them. Kelly looks down with a smile blushing furiously.

Brandon clears his throat embarrassed but not caring in the slightest, "That's my cue." Kelly gets up. Brandon grabs her hand and pulls her down to him. He kisses gently but the smack of the kiss echos in the kitchen as Brenda watches with a small smile. "I'll call you later." Brandon says softly and kisses her again.

'You better." Kelly smiles, her voice resembling a small child. Brandon watches her leave. And then his eyes land on his sisters.

He laughs, "What?"

"Seriously? One night? What does this mean?" She smiles and moves towards the table sitting down across from him.

Brandon shrugs, "It's never just one night with Kel, you know that." Brenda still stares at him, "We haven't worked out all the details. But she knows how I feel about her." He says it like its the simplest thing in the world.

Brenda sets down her coffee cup, "But you don't live here? How is that gonna work?"

Brandon shakes his head, "We haven't talked about it yet, were just enjoying being together again."

Brenda shakes her head, "Typical…typical you would sleep with her and connect and leave again. You're glutton for punishment."

"You're one to talk. Where did you sleep last night?"

"What do you mean?" Brenda acts stupid.

"I mean…Kelly and I got up and passed Olivia's room and you weren't in her bed. Sooo that leaves Dylan's room. So what happened there?" He finally smiles at her.

Brenda sighs, "Nothing. We're just two friends sharing a bed because my brother and his ex fiancé decided to screw for hours and not give a shit other people including his sister by the way could hear every moan and groan and fucking headboard bang!" Brenda says loudly. "And by the way you are buying me a new mattress before you leave." She calms.

Brandon smiles and looks down, "Fine…so don't get mad at me if I use it to its fullest capacity…someone should be." He raises his eyebrows at her as he takes a sip of coffee.

"Oh…don't go there…I have plenty of sex thank you very much. Me and Jax are animals."

Brandon covers his ears, "LA LA LA LA."

Brenda grabs his hand annoyed, "Seriously? I just heard you and Kelly doing it last night."

Brandon laughs feeling light and happy. "So Jax is cool."

Brenda smiles, "He is cool, and amazing and good looking and sweet and trustworthy and he gives goooood woo." She groans a little.

Brandon makes a face, "I feel like calling it woo means maybe it's not that good."

"Oh it is." Brenda drinks her coffee and eyeing him with a nod.

Brandon is silent for a second, "What about Dylan?"

Brenda sets down her mug, "What about Dylan?"

"Brenda." He breathes out, "Come on…I'm your brother…your twin for god sakes."

Brenda looks at him funny, "I don't know what your talking about."

"Im talking about being in love with Dylan…and dating Jax."

"I thought you were happy for me?" She says surprised.

"I am happy for you, I like Jax, he seems really into you. Like more into you then you are him."

"That's not fair and not true." She shakes her head.

Brandon laughs, "You act like I don't know you. I saw you flirting in the kitchen last night and you slept in his bed. No cuddling…no kissing? I find that hard to believe."

Brenda opens her mouth to speak but nothing come out. _Well shit._ She sighs _,_ "It's complicated Brandon."

"Oh course it is…love always is. All I know is that you've been in love with Dylan since you met him. You have a daughter together. You both are so in love with each other its obvious and you're pushing him away and taking advantage of a nice guy that clearly is too stupid to see that his girlfriend is still in love with her ex boyfriend. It's not right Brenda.

Brenda gets up, "Woah…Brandon! I'm not taking advantage of Jax, he's amazing and I love spending time with him. Dylan is history and yes maybe a little of my heart will always love him but I'm moving on. Why can't you be happy for me?" She storms off.

"Because your lying to yourself Brenda. I'm your brother its my job to call bullshit when I see it."

Brenda whips around, "That's right you are my brother, your job is to support me and be there for me but you never could when it came to your friendship with Dylan. Where's my loyalty Brandon? Why do you always take his side?" She yells.

Brandon gets up angry, "Loyalty? Are you serious? I've been loyal to you! Keeping Dylan in the dark about Olivia, for 4 years I lied to his face. That wasn't fair either, it wasn't fair to me, mom, dad, Iris and most of all it wasn't fair to Dylan. We kept your secret Brenda because we love you."

Tears fill her eyes, "You kept my secret because you were mad at him Brandon. You were mad he was back with Kelly and because he left me. Don't pretend you didn't have selfish reasons."

Brandon takes a deep breath calming his anger, "You're right…I was mad at him. I was mad at him for hurting you. I was mad at him for leaving you and I was mad at him for coming back here trying to get Kelly back. And yes I loved Kelly and it hurt like hell but I love you more. You're my best friend Brenda. You're my sister and my family. I would just hate to see you settle without your greatest love because of pride and purpose. You belong with Dylan. Fate brought you too back together so he could meet his daughter, so he could get you back."

"I like Jax Brandon, please don't think that I don't" she pleads.

Brandon sighs, "I know you do. And he's a good guy Brenda. You would be lucky to end up with either guy. I just know you and Dylan well enough to know, it isn't over. No matter how much you want it to be. It's just not."

Brenda wipes her nose quickly, "Like you and Kelly?" She tries to lighten up the mood. She doesn't want to argue with her brother his whole visit here.

Brandon breathes out a laugh, "Exactly like me and Kelly." He moves solidly and hugs her. "I love you Bren…I just want you to be happy."

Brenda nods gripping him tightly, "I know." They pull apart as Brenda wipes her face. "Where is Dylan anyway?"

"He went surfing, said he was going to pick Olivia up after and take her to The Belage to go swimming at the pool with Erica."

Brenda nods, "Okay. What are you going to do?"

Brandon smiles, "I'm gonna call Kelly and give that mattress another round before you make me replace it."

Brenda groans, "You're disgusting." She moves from him. "I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Please don't call her until I'm done and gone." She jokes as Brandon laughs.

"I'm going to lunch with Steve…don't worry." He laughs at himself.

"Thank god…have fun." She lifts her hand and waves as she climbs the steps.

Brenda closes her eyes letting the hot stream of her shower relax her muscles. She leans her head back closing her eyes to wash the rest of the shampoo out. Brandon's words going over in her head. _It's not over no matter how much you want it to be_. Dylan's kiss to distract her. Her fingers come to her lips. The heat rising back to her. Things have been weird with her and Dylan. They had a comfortable friendship and partnership but as she thinks about it more they seems have everything but the physical. Then with Jax she has a whole a lot of the physical. But she has that comfortable camaraderie with him too. She sighs out loud reaching for her body wash. In one shift motion before she can even react to the noise of the shower door opening strong hands are around her from behind. Her body wash falls to the floor with a loud thud. "Oh my god!"

Jax chuckles against her neck. He kisses it gently moving his lips up to her ear. "Well shit I have good timing."

She turns in his arms and smiles, "What are you doing here?"

Jax hands are around her waist as he smirks. "Brandon let me in. He was on his way out, lunch with Steve or something like that. He said you were in your room and Dylan and Olivia went swimming. What he didn't tell me was I was right on time to see you naked." His eyes sweep down her frame hungrily. Brenda swats at him.

"You literally scared the shit out me and that would be weird for my brother to tell you that."

Jax chuckles and nods agreeing. He leans in taking his lips to hers kissing her softly. Just a nip of his lips against hers. It's fire in Brenda's veins. He pulls away and looks into his eyes.

"I missed you last night." He says against her skin as he hugs her to him. The warmth of the shower enveloping them.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay the night."

He smiles at her, "It's okay I understand." _See he's so sweet and understanding. Brandon is a fool. I like Jax as much as he likes me._ Brenda thinks.

Jax leans again this time his mouth opens on hers hungrily. His tongue sweeps inside and warmth floods her belly. He kisses across the top of her chest, moving lower to pull a beaded nipple into his mouth. Brenda gasps her head falls backwards. He pulls the sensitive skin between his teeth then soothes it with his kiss. Bending froward, Brenda kisses his head, his soft hair and he rises to cover her mouth as his hand cover her breast. Brenda moans into his mouth.

He leans back a little and Brenda's eyes look at his naked body in front of her. Her hands are on his body, smoothing the planes and lines, tracing the rippling muscles with her fingers. She feels him tighten his abdomen with a groan. He is like a work of art. She traces down his hard arms, and glides her fingers over his tattooed strong forearm. Her eyes lower as his prominent erection stands full mask, thick and hard and big reminding her that it's there. Her eyes find his, he's smirking watching her take him in hungrily. Her obvious gawking not a secret. He lowers himself in the shower as Brenda reaches for his face. His mouth moves across my navel to her hip.

"Oh god." She groans as his fingers touch her core. The first pass of his tongue over her center causes her knees to buckle, "Oh…" she moans.

"Mmm…so good." He speaks against her sensitive skin, his scruffy cheek from his beard roughing her inner thigh. Brenda grips his shoulders to find balance, but he doesn't let up. He is not slowing down. He's hungry. He grips her thighs digging his fingers into them roughly and it feels hot and right. He pulls her closer to him, kissing and sucking eagerly at her bud, twisting feverish desire in her belly.

"Jax…Uh…Jax." She chants his name as streaks of pleasure climb her legs like vines, centering in her core, drawing tighter with every pass of his tongue. Tighter…tighter…her orgasm approaches and in one swift moment he pushes two fingers into her and she's gone. She is flying high, light explodes behind her eyes as she cums hard against his face. Brenda cries out loudly glad they are home alone. The echo of the shower making her seem even louder. Her legs tremble as he cups her ass. He is up in an instant. Reaching for something she can't see on the ledge of the shower. Then it comes into view and she sees the foil wrapper of a condom. _Well he thought of everything_. She smiles. He has it rolled down over his engorged member in an instant. He grabs her hips roughly turning her so her butt is against him.

"Is this okay." He whispers hungrily in her ear. Brenda nods quickly. He tilts her pelvis a little, pushing her down so she is bending over and in one fluid move, he is inside her.

Brenda gasps pleasure shooting through her again.

He grunts in response, he thrusts back and forth faster. Brenda's hand finds the wall of the shower for support. His thrusts stronger, plunging deeper, impossibly deep as the sound of slaps ring the quiet space. The pace increases, he's pumping hard into her and little noises ache from her throat with every hit. It's so good, her second orgasms burns hotter than the first. Stars shoot behind her closed eyes. Her insides erupt in shimmering spasms of pleasure as she comes.

"Fuck yes." His back arches and with a low groan he joins her in the abyss. He holds Brenda roughly by the hips, steadying himself as she feels him break and pulse inside her. They stay attached for a moment before she feels him slip lout of her. He is gentle now. Turning her slowly. As he kisses her sweetly.

"You're so incredible and beautiful." He whispers against her mouth. He pulls off the condom and ties it at the end. Cold air hits them as he discards it quickly and shuts the door so the hot steam of the shower can fill their space again. The body wash is eventuality picked up as they wash each other. Brenda doesn't speak a lot. A million things flooding in her mind. He's so wonderful. She should tell him where she slept last night. She should be honest. As Jax kisses her softly and looks lovingly into her eyes, she chickens out. She can't break his heart, she won't, she refuses too. She cares and respects and likes him too much to. A part of her heart may love Dylan still but Jax is definitely in there. He has a piece of it too.

Dylan smiles as Olivia comes up for air. She takes a big breath coming up with a smile, "Did you see me daddy?"

"I did." Dylan's voice excited for her.

"Why don't we do it one more time then we get out and have some lunch?" He tries to bargain with her.

"Okay daddy."

"Okay…1…2…3…big breath baby." Olivia submerges underwater. Dylan let's go taking a step back as she moves her little arms and legs kicking to get to him. She reaches him clinging on to his arms. She comes up with a big breath again. "Did you see that! You swam baby girl…you swam!" Dylan lifts her in the air, throwing her up and catching her excitedly. Olivia is all giggles and pride.

"No floaties daddy! No floaties!" Dylan brings her to his chest and hugs her. He kisses her head, closing his eyes, his chest filling with so much pride.

"You did it sweetie." He whispers into her wet brown hair.

They sit on the loungers at the hotel pool, both covered with big plush towels. Olivia takes a bite of her ham and cheese sandwich and gives her dad a toothy grin.

Dylan watches her in awe, he never knew he could feel this much love for someone in his whole life. She is the moon, and the stars and everything good in between.

Olivia looks around. "Where's Auntie Erica?"

Dylan looks at Erica sitting irritatingly gorgeous in her tiny bikini talking to a college age kid on vacation with his family. "She is a McKay." He says simply.

"A McKay? I don't know what that is daddy." Olivia asks curiously.

Dylan chuckles, "It's my last name, I'm a McKay…Erica is a McKay…Grammy and you. You're a mMcKay too."

Olivia looks confused, "But My name is Olivia Dylan Walsh."

Dylan gives her a sad smile, "I know. But you're still part of me." He points to her heart, "In here, you're a McKay too." He looks sadly at his burger and fries. She should be a McKay. Her name should be Olivia Dylan mcKay and Brenda should be too.

"Maybe I can be…Olivia Dylan Walsh McKay?" She smiles wide.

Dylan laughs, "Well that's a long name."

"But…I don't get it. If you and mommy are married then how come she isn't a McKay?"

Dylan took a deep breath, "Uh well…me and your mommy aren't married actually. So Walsh is her last name."

"I thought you had to be married to have a baby."

 _Oh fuck fuck fuck_ , Dylan clears his throat, "You actually don't have to be married to have a baby, but you should be. You definitely should be." He emphasizes.

Olivia thinks and Dylan watches her nervously. He knows something is coming and he is scared to know what question is next.

"So…why don't you ask mommy to marry you and then she'll be a McKay and I'll be a McKay too."

"Come on Olivia finish your lunch sweetie."

"But daddy…you love mommy and she loves you…it's so easy."

"Come here." He reaches for her. She climbs into his lap easily, "I do love your mommy. But sometimes its not easy. And its adult and complicated and someday you'll understand what I mean."

Olivia takes both of her hands to his face, so he looks at her, "But you have to try Daddy."

Dylan kisses her hands taking them in his, "I do try baby. I did try. Your mommy is with Jax. They're together."

"I don't think Jax would mind if you asked mommy to marry you."

Dylan chuckles, "I think he would baby." Olivia looks sad.

"I asked your mommy to marry me a long time ago. Before you even came to us. But she said no."

Olivia flinches like he slapped her. "She said no?"

"Afraid so. Let's finish your lunch." Olivia crawls to her lounger and sits quietly eating her sandwich. Dylan watches her knowing from her new somber mood, he shouldn't have said that.

 _Hit review people! It's getting pretty interesting huh? Please tell me everything!_


	23. Chapter 23

_I want to start by thanking everyone for your reviews. Still have so many mixed feeling but I'll chalk that up to doing a good job of invoking such feelings lol I do want to explain that Brandon hasn't forgotten he wasn't the best brother back in the day. It's not said outright but implied that Brenda and Brandon have been very close over the years since he left Beverly Hills. Maybe I didn't do a good job reiterating that but he has proven his loyalty over the years and has lied to Dylan for 4 years about his kid. Yes he was upset about Kelly but he was more upset Dylan left his sister again for Kelly, like high school. So maybe I wasn't totally clear._

 _Another thing Brenda is so confused right now. And the coming chapters will only confuse her more. She isn't stringing people along. She likes Jax and she is really trying to move on. I think people are taking her actions like what Brandon said about taking advantage of Jax but that was Brandon being an ass, he knows nothing about her feelings. I think people are being a little too hard on Brenda. She isn't trying to hurt anyone, she is trying to protect her heart and move on. I hope that clears up some feelings. If not that okay too. I'm thrilled people are still reading and I love that you are invested, even if you hate it so far lol Here is the next chapter. Things are definitely getting interesting._

 _Chapter 23_

 _Truth or Dare_

Dylan carries Olivia in his arms as he unlocks the front door. He had spent the day with his mom and Erica at the Belage and after a fun filled day it didn't take much for Olivia to pass out of near exhaustion. The front door opens easily as he hears laughter and voices from the living room. He shifts Olivia in his arms, her little head resting on his shoulder and the crook of his neck. She was fast asleep and even the laugher and voices wouldn't wake her. Dylan walks around the corner to see what the commotion is. He sees Kelly, Brandon, Brenda and Jax laughing and hanging out. Brenda's smile huge as she laughs at whatever Dylan has missed. Her eyes find his quickly.

"Hey." She says happily, everyones attention turning towards Dylan "She's out huh?"

Dylan gives them a small smile, "Yeah…she was exhausted. Big day swimming without floaties." His smile widens as Kelly, Brandon, Jax and Brenda smile at him. "I'm going to put her to bed." Dylan whispers not wanting to wake her up.

Brenda keeps her smile and nods, and watches Dylan turn and head upstairs. After a few minutes he comes back down and sits in a chair, noticing Jax not there anymore. He looks around and notices the evidence of a game. With cards spreading their coffee table. Jax walks in from the kitchen carrying a few beers. He hands one to Brandon, has one for himself and reaches to Dylan handing him one of the non alcoholic beers from the fridge.

Dylan takes it politely, "Thanks dude." He tilts the long neck and takes a drink. As Jax sits in his seat next to Brenda again. "What are you guys doing?"

"Playing this game…it's hilarious." Brandon smiles taking a sip of his new beer.

Dylan looks around the table, getting a sudden feeling of being a 5th wheel. Kelly and Brandon had dated when Dylan was dating Brenda in London. But the 5 of them had never had the chance to hang out as a 4 some. He can't help but think this seems so weird. That it should be the four of them.

"You want to play?" Kelly smiles holding her wine.

Dylan smiles at her and shakes his head, "Nah…it's cool. I'll probably just leave you guys to it." He goes to get up Jax's voice stopping him.

"Dylan, I got to head out of here soon anyway. I had Felix start things without me at the club but he has to leave in a half hour, so as soon as I finish this beer I'm gonna head in. You can take my place." His arm is lazily around Brenda resting on her hip. Dylan's eyes look to it and then his face. "She is going to need a partner. You'll do me proud…since were kicking these two's ass anyway." Kelly and Brandon laugh.

"Oh please. You got lucky." Brandon smiles.

"It's cool." Dylan shakes his head.

"Oh come one Dylan…please…I need a partner…pretty please." Brenda tries her hardest to give him her best pout and puppy dog eyes which causes Dylan to smirk.

"How can you say no to that face?" Jax says and kisses Brenda's temple.

Dylan stares at her, he wonders the same. "It's actually pretty easy." Brandon jokes and Brenda throws a couch pillow at his head. Brandon laughs out loud.

"Come on man, it's pretty fun." Brandon encourages him.

Dylan puts his hands up, "Alright alright…I'll watch until Jax leaves, then I'll take his place. What game is this anyway?"

"Truth or dare." Kelly smiles.

Dylan laughs out loud, "How adult." He jokes.

The small group laughs and Kelly grabs a card, "Ok…our turn. Brenda truth or dare?"

Brenda thinks for a moment, "Truth."

Kelly reads her card and smiles, "What is the song you are most likely to get it on too?"

Brenda laughs. She writes down her answer on the game pad. Jax writing what he thinks her answer is. Brenda doesn't make eye contact with Dylan as she turns her answer for the group to see.

"Keith Sweat…Nobody."

"Damn it." Jax laughs, He turns his pad around, "Usher…nice and slow."

"Oooh that's a good one too." Brenda laughs. Then her eyes finally meet Dylan's. They stare at each other going back in time. It's 1996 and that's their go too sex song.

"Keith Sweat is the king of baby making music, I should have known." Jax rubs his nose across Brenda's cheek and kisses her neck, "I'll have to remember that."

Brendas eyes don't leave Dylan's until she clears her throat and looks down. Dylan looking down from Jax's kissing. he can't look anymore. Kelly and Brandon taking sips of their drinks. Seems Jax is the only one missing their exchange. "Ok their turn then Dylan takes over?" He looks at him.

Dylan nods quietly, "Yeah…sure."

"You and Bren have known each other a long time. I know you'll do me proud." He chuckles and picks up a card. "Brandon truth or dare?"

"Dare." He smiles and Kelly giggles.

Jax reads, "Pick up a random book and read it in the most seductive voice you can manage."

The group laughs out loud, even Dylan is throughly entertained.

Brandon rolls his eyes with a smile, he gets up and heads to the book shelf and grabs the first one he sees. "Wuthering Heights." He smiles and opens it to a random page. "My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary." Brandon speaks slowly and in his best sexy voice. Kelly giggles as Jax laughs. Brenda and Dylan stare at each other.

Brandon rolls his eyes again and places the book back on the shelf. "Hey don't hate on the classics." Brenda jokes her eyes finally leaving Dylan's.

"She's right, Bronte wrote one of the best love stories of all time." Dylan chimes in.

Jax shakes his head, "I don't know about that. Heathcliff was an asshole. He didn't deserve Catherines love. And she married someone else, so she agreed. They were the couple you don't route for. Highly dysfunctional. Making each other jealous and fighting. That wasn't true love."

Dylan looks at Jax, "Catherine and Heathcliff were soulmates. They grew up together and escaped their fucked up life together. They had a very strong bond and they leaned on each other in comfort. By the time they were teenagers they were very deeply in love. Their love lasts through years and even transcends in death. Few, if any, works of literature describe a passion as wild and intense as this one. She married Linton for Heathcliff, Catherine is well aware of her social surroundings and she was able to avoid being a servant to her brother by marrying Edgar. Her reasons to marry Edgar Linton were based on helping Heathcliff, social status and finally getting the best of both worlds. He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same" Dylan quotes from memory, "Essentially, they are one; the same person. This symbolizes why their love is not suited for this world. Given the time period and the way events followed one another, their love was best suited in the next realm. Linton was everything she needed in this lifetime whereas Heathcliff was everything she wanted in every lifetime to come. They were soulmates."

Brenda stares at Dylan, her heart beating fast. "I'll agree to disagree with that one. She married Linton because he was the best choice for her. The better man."

Dylan shakes his head, "Whatever you say." This topic getting a little more personal than intended.

"On that note." Jax laughs, "I got to get out of here." He stands and reaches his hand to Dylan, "Good debate man." He smiles a warm smile at him. Dylan smiles and shakes his hand with a nod. "Brandon and Kelly…good game. Let me know who wins." He says innocently.

Kelly and Brandon nod with a smile, quiet and reflective on what just occurred.

"I'll walk you out." Brenda announces and follows Jax to the door.

The group is quiet Brandon and Kelly look at Dylan. He knows what they are thinking. He doesn't say anything looking towards Brenda and Jax at the front door. He takes a sip of his beer and watches Jax kiss Brenda goodbye. His heart aches but secretly glad he gets to take Jax's place in this game.

As Brenda comes back to the living room she looks at Dylan. "You ready to kick some ass?" She smiles at him. Trying to push the awkward energy from the small space. She pats the space next to her. Dylan smiles at her and gets up and takes Jax's vacated seat. "It's your turn Brandon."

Brandon nods and picks up a card, "Dylan…truth or dare?"

Dylan thinks for a moment, "Dare." He smiles.

Brandon chuckles, "Well now we're talking…Lick whip cream off your partner's stomach."

Brenda's hands go to her face as she blushes, "What? We did not have any of these dares before."

Dylan smiles as he gets up and walks to the kitchen. He grabs the whipped cream can from the door of the refrigerator and quickly joins the group again. He sits next to Brenda. He lifts one eyebrow with a smirk, "You want to lay down or stand up?"

Brenda laughs, "Stand up." She shakes her head, knowing laying down would maybe be too much. She stands, Dylan's head at perfect height at her abdomen. She covers her eyes embarrassed with one hand and uses the other to lift her shirt. Kelly smiles and leans a little to watch. She looks at Brandon, them sharing a private knowing look.

Dylan looks at her flat stomach. Her jeans sit low on her hips, his hand caresses it and then he presses the white tip. Whipped cream comes out making a noise as Brenda giggles.

Dylan draws a heart, her belly button in the middle of it.

"Ready?" He looks up at her. Her hand comes away from her eyes as she looks down. She breathes out as she sees the heart perfectly constructed on her belly. She gives him a nod.

Dylan learns in, his eyes looking up to her. His tongue darts out and Brenda yips leaning back. Dylan's hands go to her hips as he pulls her against him. His mouth opens and closes on the whipped cream. His tongue following the outline. Brenda laughs and shakes her head. Dylan hungrily kisses and licks the whipped cream off her stomach as Brenda watches. She closes her eyes. Warmth quickly spreads down her whole body, igniting fire. She feels the wetness pool in her center. This was more of a turn on than it should be. Dylan's eyes don't leave hers.

When Dylan is finished he gently pats Brenda's butt as she brings her shirt down. She flames red and sits, her eyes finally meeting a smirking Brandon and Kelly.

She laughs shyly and grabs her wine. She looks at Dylan who is wiping his face, "Delicious." He speaks and Brenda playfully rolls her eyes. "Who's up?" Dylan changes the quiet energy that surrounds them.

Brandon shakes his head with a smile, "You are." He chuckles.

He nods and grabs a card, "Kelly…truth or dare?"

Kelly laughs, "Well if the dares are like this." She looks at Brandon and smiles, "I'll take dare."

Dylan reads, "Spell out a secret message for your partner on their back. If they get it right, they get a special favor of their choosing. If they get it wrong, they have to do something special for you." Dylan smiles.

Kelly laughs, as Brandon turns his back towards her. She thinks for a moment and then silently ising her index finger to spell out the words, I missed you.

Brandon smiles and turns towards her, "I missed you too Kel." He answers and leans in kissing her check. "Hmm my favor?" He asks seductivly.

Brenda groans, "Please save it for later. Preferably at Kelly's house." She jokes and the group laughs. Brandon leans in and whispers something into Kelly's ear causing her to blush.

She doesn't say anything as she gives him a nod, grabbing a card, "Brenda…truth or dare?"

Brenda takes a deep breath and looks at Dylan, she states, "Truth." Keeping it safe.

"Wuss." Brandon laughs. As Brenda sticks her tongue out at him.

Kelly reads, "Who was the first person that ever went down on you and when was it?"

Brendas hand goes to her face again, "Are you kidding me?"

Brandon makes a gagging noise and shakes his head.

She writes down her answer as Dylan does as well. She turns her card around. "Dylan…10th grade."

Dylan chuckles, turning his card around, "Me…the futon in my house, sophomore year."

Brenda shakes her face in her hands again as Dylan wraps his arms around her pulling her into his side. Brenda's hands come from her face as his lips hit her cheek, "That was a good day."

Kelly giggles as Brandon groans. Brenda doesn't say anything.

Dylan grabs a card, "Brandon truth or dare."

Brandon smiles, "Truth." He says simply.

"What is the dumbest thing you've ever done?" Dylan reads playfully.

Brandon takes a deep breath being incredibly serious and looks at Kelly, "Calling off my wedding." He says seriously as Kelly beaches out. They share a long stare and Brenda sadly looks at Dylan.

The group is silent as Brandon grabs a card. "Dylan…truth or dare."

Dylan raises his eyebrows at Brenda, "Dare of course." Trying to lighten up the energy.

"Of course." Brenda shakes her head.

Brandon holds up the card and smiles, "Play 7 minutes in heaven with your partner and take a naughty picture to prove it."

Dylan laughs out loud and Brendas face hits her hands again,. "You guys are killing me." She sighs and looks at Dylan. He lifts his eyebrows.

"This is a good game." He jokes and Brenda smacks him which causes Dylan to laugh out loud.

Takes a deep breath grabbing her wine and downs it, "Alright alright." She gets up and Dylan follows. Kelly and Brandon smile and watch Dylan grab his phone and follow Brenda.

Brandon hits 7 minutes on his iPhone and turns it, "I'll start it as soon as you guys close the door. You can show the picture to Kelly, I'm good on that." He jokes.

She opens the closet that is off the living room thankful it is big enough to walk in. The door closes and Brandon hits start on the timer. He leans in and kisses Kelly, deciding he'll play his own 7 minutes now that they are alone.

Brenda swallows hard as she stands in front of Dylan nervously. "This game." She sighs.

Dylan stares down at her and nods, "Fun though right? Did I miss some good ones before I got home?" He asks and swallows hard not sure if he really wants to know.

Brenda chuckles and shakes her head, "No…the dirty stuff came later." She laughs, "I had to sext a message to Kelly's phone." Brenda shrugs and Dylan laughs. He takes a small step towards her. It's quiet, the only sounds are their breaths.

"What are we going to do for the picture?" Dylan whispers moving closer to Brenda.

"Maybe…just…here." She takes his phone bringing up the camera. She holds it out with flash and presses her lips against Dylans. The flash lighting the closet for a second. She pulls back and looks down at the photo. Dylan looking down at it too.

"Well that's not very naughty." He smiles.

Brenda laughs, "I'm not taking a picture of body parts Dylan, Kelly has seen us both naked already." She is serious then and Dylan sighs.

"Brenda…come on. Don't be like that. Come here." His arms wraps around her waist as he pulls her against him, "You know it's not like that with her."

Brenda shakes her head, "I know."

Dylan leans his lips against her forehead and inhales, He runs his nose across it and down her cheek. Brenda breathes out. His hands running up the sides of her waist. His lips find themselves in front of her mouth. His breath tickles her lips. Brenda swallows hard as his lips finally touch hers. She deepens it almost instantly. Her hands find his hair as she pulls it roughly. He groans softly, "God Bren."

They kiss hungrily, his hands find both breasts as he squeezes her through her shirt. She moans quietly into his mouth. They are in a full make out. His hands grope her roughly. Just as quickly as this turned into heat, Brenda stops it by pushing him a little. "Dylan." She whispers and covers her mouth with her hand. "We can't keep doing shit like this."

Anger creeps into Dylan's eyes, "How many times Brenda…how many times are you going to push me away?" His voice is filled with hurt.

She drops her hand from her mouth looking at him dead in the eyes, "Until it sticks."

Dylan's heart breaks as he shakes his head. Quiet surrounds them as the hear the beginning of Keith Sweat Nobody play in the living room. "3 minutes left love birds." Kelly says with a giggle out side the door.

 _I want to tease you_

 _I want to please you_

 _I want to show you baby_

 _That I need you_

 _I want your body_

 _'Till the very last drop_

 _I want you to holler_

 _When you want me to stop_

 _And who can love you like me (nobody)_

 _Who can sex you like me (nobody)_

The words from their song ring out. Kelly and Brandon being funny. Dylan looks at Brenda.

"Do you love me?" He asks, his voice emotional.

Brenda is quiet for a minute. "It's a simple question Brenda." His voice a little sharper.

She looks into his eyes, they tear up quickly, "It's not a simple answer."

"Of course it is." His hands find her waist again. "If he loved you with all the power of his soul for a whole lifetime, he couldn't love you as much as I do in a single day." Dylan quotes Bronte. "Be with me always, take any form, drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I can not find you!" He continues and Brenda's eye close. Dylan used to read her Wuthering Heights all the time. They'd cuddle for hours as he read aloud to her. Brenda recognizes the quotes fondly.

"Dylan don't." She breathes.

"As long as it takes Brenda…I'm not giving up on you. You're my Catherine…whatever our souls are made of…yours and mine…are the same."

Brenda's tears fall down her cheeks as Dylan's kisses her roughly. His tongue seeking hers in the darkness. She kisses him back passionately.

"Times up." Brandon can be heard from the outside.

Dylan slows their kisses, his forehead finds hers, "I love you Brenda. Don't you ever forget that."

He moves then opening the closet door stepping out of it. Brenda's hand finds her heart as she exhales. She moves slowly and takes a step out of the closet. Kelly and Brandon's smile fades.

"You okay?" Kelly steps towards her.

Brenda shakes her head quickly, turning on her heels as she rushes the stairs.

Kelly looks at Dylan, "What did you do?"

Dylan shrugs and shakes his head, "Told her the truth."

Brandon looks down. "I'll clean this up tomorrow. You guys staying here?" Dylan changes the subject, knowing their little game is over.

Brandon nods, "We got it, we'll clean up and lock up."

"Night." Dylan says quietly with a nod as he walks towards the stairs. He climbs them silently. He stops in front of Olivia's closed door. His hand reaches up to it. His forehead rests on it. He wants so much to go in. Talk to her, hold her, kiss her but he knows Olivia is sleeping.

"Bren?" He says quietly.

No answer.

He grips the knob and turns, he opens it slowly and peaks inside. "Bren?" He whispers now.

He sees little Oviva sleeping peacefully and Brenda is not there. He closes the door silently and walking down the hallway. Her bedroom door is ajar and empty, so he follows it down and comes to his bedroom.

Brenda lay on her side sobbing. Dylan comes in the door quickly closing it behind him. He comes to his bed looking down at her. He doesn't say anything and either does she as she cries. Dylan moves and crawls into the bed with her. He spoons her from behind, holding her close to his body.

"I'm sorry." He breathes. He never meant to upset her. He doesn't like to hurt her, no matter how many times in his life he's done so.

"You promised." She sobs quietly, "You promised you'd let me let you go."

Dylan squeezes her to him, his lips press the back of her head, "I can't." He breathes now crying with her. "I can't do that."

Silence fills the bedroom. Tangled together on his bed. "I always somehow find my way back to you and I hate it." Brenda breathes. "It's an awful feeling to love someone so much that you absolutely hate them for leaving you. For hurting you."

Dylan's eyes close, "You don't hate me." He shakes his head.

"I wish I did." Dylan nods his tear falls in her hair.

"But you don't." Dylan breathes. "Most people know that their first loves won't be their only love. But for me you're both. It's always been you. I'll fight for you Brenda…for us. I'm not giving up what's mine."

Brenda eyes close as his warm words pulse through her. Dylan holds her tightly closing his eyes.

"I don't want you too." Brenda whispers, "But…it's only because I don't want you to go anywhere. It's selfish…I know but I can't lose you again."

"You won't." Dylan breathes kissing her head again. Brenda grabs his hand and pulls it to her heart.

Sleep finds them both quickly. Both emotionally spent and drained. She needs to figure this out. She can't continue like this. Holding on to Dylan but grasping on to Jax. She knows the conversation she has to have with him won't be easy, she doesn't even know how to start it. She cares about both of them.

 _So hit review my people. Poor Dylan and poor Brenda. She is lost in feelings. Next up Brenda finds out about what Dylan told Olivia. And Jax and Brenda have a heart to heart about feelings that confuses her even more._


	24. Chapter 24

_Chapter 24_

 _Those Damn 3 letter words_

" _I can not believe your drinking like this again." Brenda said disappointed. "You've been doing so well…for so long."_

" _What do you care, you're leaving again." Dylan spoke roughly, long blinks as he tried to focus on her._

" _It's my job Dylan, they need me on this tour."_

" _No…I need you! I need you here!." Dylan yells loudly. "You don't care." Dylan takes a long sip of his beer._

 _Brenda sobs, "How can you say that? I do care! I love you!" She says defensive to his guilt trips. They aren't new, they have argued on and off over her tours for the past year. She watches Dylan drunkenly sway and he hits the wall in their apartment. A picture of the two of them kissing, Big Ben in the background, falls to the ground with a shatter._

 _She moves quickly, her knees hitting the floor. She picks it up, it's her favorite photo of them. "Leave it I'll get it." He grumbles._

 _Brenda ignores it and picks up the little pieces of glass from the front of the photo. The frame is ruined but the picture doesn't have to be. Silent tears fall down her cheeks. She looks at the photo of them. It was during the first year he was here in London. They were happy, finally together after everything. The past felt behind them. She knew he was drinking because of her touring or because he was alone a lot more. He was in a fragile place and she knew every time she left him, he went farther down this hole, his demons and loss drawing him. He drank more, she worked more. It was an achingly painful cycle. Dylan drops to his knees beside her. His breath smells of scotch and beer. She stays silent as she tries to clean the glass from the floor. His hands shake as he reaches towards her face. His fingers wrap around her hair, his hand finding her neck so he can see her face without the mask of dark chocolate curtain hiding her tears._

" _I'm so sorry baby. I love you so much."_

 _Brenda keeps her eyes on the photo of perfection in her hands. Again him being drunk and sorry nothing new. He wasn't drunk everyday but whenever anything hard came up, he dealt with it this way._

" _Marry me Brenda."_

 _She ignores him, looking down at the picture she holds in her hand still. Wishing they could go back. Go back to the bliss of reunion that lasted a couple years. Blissfully together, alone, away from the drama and past hurt, away from his loss of his late wife, naked and connected and euphoric. "Bren." He whispers roughly. "Marry…me." He breathes._

 _Her eyes meet his. They're glassy and red, from drinking and crying and whatever else he did to himself tonight. She wants to say yes. She wants to kiss him and make love to him on this fucking floor and say yes twenty times. Instead she doesn't say anything. She looks into his eyes and says nothing. He isn't serious. This isn't real, he's drunk and desperate for her to stay. To keep her from her tour in Amsterdam. She gets up instead, holding on to the picture as she walks away from him. He reaches for her, but his slow reflexes misses her by a mile. He sloppily hits his back against the wall, closing his eyes. His fingers reach into his front pocket. This wasn't how he planned this. The news of her upcoming tour and 3 month separation ruined his elaborate plans. Then the scotch and beers that followed simply annihilated it. He looked down at the beautifully simple vintage eternity diamond ring he had purchased a week prior. It wasn't massive in size, a simple one and half carats of beauty and all Brenda. He had planned to bring her to Paris again. Propose right on the Pont_ _A_ _lexandre at sunset overlooking the Eiffel Tower. Where they had been so many times before. Where they talked about their future and possible children. She had said nothing of his shitty proposal. He hadn't even been able to show her her ring. Her silence had been a no in his mind._

Dylan's eyes opened quickly. He sat up fingering his hair. He took a deep breath and looked to Brenda's side of the bed, now empty. Brandon had been here visiting for over a week and Brenda had slept in his bed every single night since his arrival. It was innocent and harmless even though he was pretty positive her boyfriend wouldn't agree. He thinks about his dream or flashback. God he had fucked that proposal up. Being drunk and overly emotional after an argument. He remembers the fight, and hours later he remembers making love to her. He remembers conceiving Olivia that night, and leaving the next day. He reaches for his side drawer in his night stand and opens it. He grabs the box from the back bringing it to his lap. Swallowing hard he lifts the top of the box to see Brenda's ring sitting in a elegant pillowed display. They didn't talk about that proposal ever again. Even in the hours of Dylan sobering up and cuddling for hours with her on their shared couch did he bring it up again. Maybe it was stupid to wait for her to ask about it. What did he expect her to do? Hey Dylan…about that proposal? That was stupid. If she only knew how much he had meant it. How serious he was in taking their relationship to the next level. It was bad timing on his account he knew this now. Being drunk and after an argument was the least romantic thing he could have ever done. But he had meant it, fuck he had meant it.

He continues looking down at Brenda's unknown ring hearing the front door slam shut. He tucks it in his drawer safely knowing Brenda was returning from taking Olivia to preschool. She had just started this month and was enjoying it so far. Dylan shoves the side drawer closed as Brenda stands at his bedroom door. He is about to smile at her but holds back seeing her glare. Her hand on her hip, he knows the look of angry Brenda. He's known her long enough to know when she is pissed at him.

"In what world did it seem appropriate for you to tell our 4 year old daughter that you asked me to marry you and I said no?" Brenda's voice is stern and angry but she is trying to stay calm. She wondered why Olivia had been distant from her this week. Finally Brenda asked her what was causing her sudden attitude problem when Olivia blurted out. _How could you say no to my daddy? That she wanted to be a McKay too._

Dylan's eyes close as he sighs out. He gets up and looks at her guiltily, "It just came out. She was asking a lot of questions and was confused." He shook his head disappointed in himself, "I…just wanted her to know that I cared about you. That she was made out of love. That we were serious about one another. She had the right to know that."

Brenda's hand comes off her hip, "Well…now she is angry at me. Does that make you feel better? To turn her against me?"

"Of course not Brenda." He takes a couple steps towards her but her hand comes up telling him to keep his distance. He stops respectfully, "Look…she's young, she doesn't understand all of this. She thinks people fall in love, get married and have babies Bren. She isn't understanding break ups and hurt. She only understands what's in front of her. You and me having her and you dating another man."

Brenda laughs out pissed off, "Oh so this is my fault? My fault I'm moving on. It's my fault you left me high and dry pregnant to fend for myself. It's my fault that I never answered a bullshit proposal only said out of drunken desperation? That wasn't a real proposal Dylan…but she doesn't know that right? She doesn't know you were drunk and grasping at straws. She doesn't know that you only asked me because we were fighting and you wanted to keep me there…away from my tour. That you only asked me not because you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me but because you were dependent on me being there for you through all your bullshit!" Brenda screams at him. Tears now flowing down her cheeks. "No…she wouldn't know that now would she?" Ice in her tone.

"That's what you think? You think it wasn't real? You don't think I loved you?" Dylan asks shocked. "I know it wasn't a grand gesture romantic proposal Brenda…but it was real. It was real to me and you didn't even give me an answer." Dylan raises his voice back.

Brenda shakes her head crossing her arms, "It wasn't real. You were just mad I was leaving for three months. And then you left just to prove that point."

Dylan shakes his head and moves toward his end table, opening the drawer reaching for the ring box again. He holds it out for her. It takes her a few beats before she cautiously walks towards him. She reaches for the box and opens it. There in a red velvet box shines a beautiful engagement ring.

"Not real? I've had this ring for 5 years Brenda. I bought this ring a week before that night. I had planned something. Something perfect and romantic in Paris but you show up after rehearsal with this news of leaving and being away from me again for 3 months. I did ask you out of drunken desperation Brenda but it wasn't because I was dependent on your support. It was because I loved you with every beat of my soul. I didn't want to spend time away from you. I wanted you to be my wife!" His voice breaking. "Yeah and maybe I fucked up the way it came out and maybe my plan was shot to hell but don't you stand there and tell me that it wasn't real. It was real. We were real. Too real. I got scared. And I left. I left because of that and I left because your silence was enough no for me." Brenda's hand comes to her mouth. He moves towards her, both of them calming now. His hand comes to her cheek, his thumb caressing it gently as they stare at one another.

"Please don't doubt my feelings for you Bren. I know I've said and done a lot of things that I'm not proud of. But you…are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me."

Silence falls over them. Brenda looks back down at the perfect engagement ring in her hand.

"It's beautiful." She whispers. She closes the top quickly. She can't look at it anymore. If she would have known this was his plan. If she would have seen this perfection of an engagement ring and knew that sentiment was real, she would have said yes in a heart beat. She looks into Dylan's eyes as she passes it back to him. He takes it quietly. "Why do you still have it?" She asks innocently.

Dylan grips it in his hands and shrugs, "I don't know." Which is half a lie. He doesn't really know why he's kept it, but at the same time he does. It never felt final with Brenda. If he got rid of this ring, it would be in his mind. Maybe a small part of his heart and soul, thought one day she'd actually wear it?

Brenda swallows hard and nods accepting that answer.

"I'm sorry for telling that to Olivia. When I saw how sad she became knowing it, I knew it was a mistake. Want me to talk to her?"

Brenda shakes her head, "It's okay."

The rest of the day seems to go about with silent energy. Brenda does discuss things with Olivia and it seemed to help a bit. Kids are pretty resilient and Brenda knows how much her daughter loves her. She'll move past the disappointment eventually or plainly forget about it. Four year olds are pretty easy to distract. Things with Dylan were a little uneasy. Knowing he was serious in his plan to propose to her and seeing that ring was hard to move past. Dylan was giving her the space to process all of it. After putting Olivia down, Brenda heads to Jax's house. Welcoming the separation from Dylan and the house, planning to sleep there for the first time and be back in the early morning before Olivia wakes up. The intense dejected look of Dylan with this news fresh in her mind as she left. She gets it, she does. If Dylan was seeing some girl and moving towards a serious relationship with her, Brenda would feel the same. She knows this. If Dylan was spending his nights with another woman and sleeping at her house she would be dejected too. At some point she knows she'll have to deal with that. She hopes it won't be for a while.

Brenda lays across Jax's chest blissfully sated in post orgasm glow. She feels his electric touch caress up and down her back in delicious slow movements. Her hands making small circles and gentle passes over his toned abdomen. She feels him set a long kiss to her head.

"I love you Brenda." He whispers into her hair. Her movements freeze. Awkward silence kills the blissful setting like a stroke of lightening touching the concrete feet away from her. After too long, she knows the silence is too long, she lifts her head where her eyes meet his.

"What?" She whispers knowing she heard him correctly. He shifts smoothly. Lowering himself so his face is inches from hers.

"I love you." He repeats.

"You do?"

He smiles softly at her with a nod, "I do." He's so sure. She can tell. He is so sure she freaks out getting out of bed quickly. She reaches for her robe she has packed in her overnight bag. Silence fills the bedroom as she unconsciously paces as Jax patiently watches her. She stops and looks at him. Fear and anxiety in her eyes.

"You don't love me…not yet." She tries to calm her fluttering heart.

Jax cool as a cucumber gets out of bed. Reaching for his boxers and hoisting them over his hips before he faces her. "I do…I have been wanting to tell you for awhile." He admits. "You don't choose who you fall in love with Brenda. But you choose whether you open your heart to love?"

Brenda breathes out. Her eyes meeting his. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Jax takes a step closer to her, "How about…I love you too Jax." He smirks at her trying to keep this as light as possible. Knowing he's freaked her out a little and not wanting it to ruin their first all night together.

"How about I like you…I like you a lot…so much." Brenda whispers the last part. God this is scary. His silence making her anxious she continues to talk, "This is all happening really fast. What about getting to know each other and having fun? You know its not that simple for me to get into a serious relationship, I have a daughter to think about."

"Don't do that." His tone less playful than before. "Don't hide behind Olivia."

"I'm not hiding." Her tone way too defensive.

"This is about Dylan." He states calmly.

Brenda is already shaking her head, "It's not." It's the truth. Isn't it?

Jax takes another step towards her, "I may not have known you for the last 12 years Brenda but I like to think I've gotten to know you. Your hiding behind something."

Brenda crosses her arms knowing it must look like she is acting like a child. He walks so he is standing now in front of her. So close she has to look up to look into his eyes. Her arms drop to her sides.

"Yes you are. And you want to know what I think?" He looks at her, "I think you do love me. Or you could love me but your just too stubborn and scared to admit it because the last time you gave your heart to someone…it got broken."

Tears fill Brenda's eyes suddenly. Jax continues, "And I get that. I've been there. But somewhere along the line you gave up on the idea that you deserve to feel this way again. But you don't see what I see Brenda. You do deserve this. You deserve to feel something for someone that hasn't hurt you." His thumb caresses her cheek softly. He looks into her eyes with adoration and it makes Brenda look to her feet before meeting his stare again. "So I'm going to try this one more time." Jax takes a deep breath, "I love you…I'm in love with you. I'm so lost and completely in love with you, I have been every since I saw you pissed off and rolling those gorgeous eyes at my employee for ignoring you at the bar when you were trying to get a drink. I watched you huff and try to hide your frustration and annoyance with her and I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I saw you Brenda all of you in that moment…and I knew you were special."

Brenda breathes out. She wasn't aware she was holding her breath. She feels strongly for him. Could it be love too? She isn't sure, she has never been in love with anyone but Dylan. She knows she has to speak, she is can actress for god sakes she could say it back. It should be easy right? The words are caught in her throat and is pisses her off she can't make it better. She doesn't know if the feelings she has for this incredible man before her is love but she does know that she likes and cares about him too much to tell him those three words to appease him.

She answers the only way she can, "Jax…I care about you so much."

The look of heartbreak on his face almost kills her. He breathes out too, like he was holding his breath also waiting for her reply. He pulls the mask that men have to protect themselves over himself quickly. He is clearly upset though and embarrassed.

"It's okay." He breathes, "Someday…you'll let someone other than Dylan in…today is just not that day." He speaks kind and understanding and it makes Brenda feel more guilty than before.

"I don't want this to change anything Jax, I don't want to lose you. I want to be with you." She tries to reassure him. Desperately hoping he won't end things because of this.

He shakes his head and gives her a sad smile, "It won't. You were right. I know we just started dating and it was too soon. It's just you overwhelm me sometimes. When were together it feels right. I don't want to freak you out Brenda but I…I don't know if I have ever felt this way about someone before."

Brenda swallow hard. Jax continues reassuring her, "But I know…I know it was too soon, and I'm sorry for freaking you out. It wasn't my intention." He smiles at her more comforting now.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't expect that I guess." Her heart calming a little.

His arms come around her waist as he pulls her into him, "Tell you what? Let's go back to bed and enjoy you sleeping over for the first time. We'll forget this ever happened?"

Brenda's hand comes up and caresses his cheek softly, "I don't want to forget it Jax. I know you don't want that too." Brenda says honestly. She may not have told him she loved him but this conversation tonight was important. It was important in their story and their feelings.

Jax leans in and sweetly kisses her forehead, "I just want to enjoy my girl staying at my place. Going to bed with you in my arms and waking up with you tomorrow. Is that so bad?"

Brenda leans in and kisses him gently. Her arms circle around his neck as she keeps her lips close to his.

"No…no that's not bad." His lips meet hers gently again. Things get heated quickly, her robe and his boxers find home on the floor again. She thinks they are going to go in for round two but instead Jax kisses her softly and cuddles her into him. He said things wouldn't change then how come it feels like it already has. She may not be able to give Jax those three little words yet but she can show him how much she cares about him in other ways. With her body at least. Is that the wrong thing to think about? Brenda doesn't have a clue. She leans up and kisses down his chiseled abs. Her tongue dipping in-between the hard lines of perfection. Her little hands wraps around his length tightly, stroking him, he becomes harder under her touch. His body physically not being able to deny its need for her.

"Bren." His hand meets hers over him stopping her movements. Brenda in return wraps her mouth around him ignoring his protest. He breathes out a soft moan. "Brenda" his voice is breathy but waning. "Come on sweetie, you don't have to do that." He stops her.

She leans up, her eyes showing rejection, "It's not that I don't want you." He reads her expression, "I love your mouth on me, you know what you do to me." His hand finds her hair and then her neck. "I'm…I'm just not in the mood I guess." He sighs wanting to be honest with her.

"You said things wouldn't change." Tears fill her eyes again knowing that it has. Gone is the blissful lust he always has with her.

He pulls her down next to him, Brenda moving her back towards him to try hide her tears. She ruined this. Jax spoons her tightly. His naked warm body against her back. His lips come to her ear.

"Nothing has changed baby." Brenda's eyes close as a tear escapes. He hasn't ever called her that and the sentiment reminds her of Dylan and it's too much to take, she doesn't like it from his lips. "Nothing has changed between us." He tries to reassure her.

"I just…I just wanted to show you what you mean to me. I don't want you to feel embarrassed or weird about telling me how you feel and I just wanted to show you how I feel." Brenda says tearfully. She can't help it. She doesn't want to hurt this man.

He kisses her neck, her head, "Brenda." He breathes, "The only thing I'm feeling right now is fucking lucky. Lucky you are giving me the chance, lucky I met you, lucky you're mine." His hand runs up her flat stomach as he grips her breast with a squeeze. "Lucky I'm the man who gets to touch you and love you." His hand travels down to her folds just to reiterate his claims. He circles her core, and Brenda moans out.

A small smile spreads across her face, "I thought you weren't in the mood." She breathes feeling the pleasure of his touch consume her. He keeps satisfying her as he reaches for the foil package sitting on his end table. He puts it on effortlessly and soon he is hovering over her.

"I changed my mind." He says simply lining himself at her entry. Brenda smiles at him. He pushes slowly, the tip teasing her. Her eyes close in anticipation of him filling her.

"Look at me." He demands as her eyes fly open. Her eyes hold his as he pushes into her deep. He leans on his elbows, his hard magnificent body pressed against her. He kisses her deeply. Holding himself still inside her clutched heat. Brenda moves her hips, wanting him to move but he keeps still.

"Jax." She whispers needy. "Please." She begs unashamed.

He smiles at her, liking the way she begs. He moves so slowly. Out…in…out…in…out. It's almost painfully slow as goosebumps spread over her body quickly. He lowers his lips to hers as he eases himself inside her again, moving his hips in small circles, until he had slid deep and wet into her, moving slowly, prolonging the moment, teasing her.

"Please." Brenda breathes this feels heavenly but she is aching to be fucked.

Jax smiles, his lips against hers, "Where's the fire?" He says playfully.

"You don't feel it?" Brendas whole body is on fire.

He chuckles, "Oh I feel it." He pushes into her still slow but rougher this time. Brenda screams out and cusses. "God you feel so good." He breathes as he keeps his thrusts slow and deep. Brendas hands practically claw at him. Pulling him tighter against her. She can't get enough of him.

He leans his full weight on her. It doesn't hurt her she actually loves it. The feel of his hard body against hers, warm and a bit sticky. His hands glide up the sides of her body, a slow caress as he pumps into her. His hands move down her arms taking her hands in his. He lifts them above her head and holds them down as he speeds up. Her noises foreign as she loudly enjoys the speed and new intensity. His thrusts are fast and deep as he kisses her neck, then his lips are at her ear.

"Come with me, Brenda. Come with me."

She stares into his face, his breath coming in short, rasping pants that matches her own. She shifts her hips, grinding against him, and that was all it took. She screams her release even as he moves his face down to her to swallow her cries. Her hands held over her head. His fingers clasp hers tightly.

She whimpers into his mouth, tasting him. Wetness, so much wetness. Her climax seems never ending, spiraling higher and higher as he tenses above her. His gasps turn to moans in her open mouth. She swallows his breath and clenches her body around his as he comes hard against her.

He stays in her, letting her hands free, his breaths heavy as he lays his head on her bare breasts. Her fingers find his hair as she gently plays with it. "I would never hurt you." He whispers in the silence of the dark.

Brenda's eyes close, "I know." She whispers back. And she does know this.

Brenda sits at the kitchen table drinking her coffee in silence. She left Jax's this morning so early. She needed to think. Yesterday being a cluster fuck of emotions. On one hand the man who she has loved practically her whole life showed her a ring. A beautiful ring bought for her in hopes they would share their life togehter. It was easier to ignore that proposal thinking Dylan was desperate and drunk and just saying it to hold on to her. It was another thing to see the planning, the going out and buying an actual enganemt ring to propose with. It made it so much more real. But sadly, it made him leaving her that following day even more real too. Then her night with Jax. He bared his soul to her. Told her how deeply in love he was with her. She stares into her mug thinking.

"You're back early?" Dylan's voice causing her too jump a little. She lifts her mug to her lips taking a sip as she looks at him.

He is wearing a pair of grey pajama pants, they hang low on his slim hips. He is shirtless, the muscles in his back flex as he pours himself a cup of coffee. His body is so different than Jax. Jax is bulkier, chiseled well muscled.

He turns towards her giving her a view of the front of him. He is definitely more slim. His body is also toned, sexy but in a less obvious way. Dylan smiles watching her eyes rack over his chest. "What?" He laughs a little.

Brenda shakes her head, what the fuck is she doing, checking him out like that. "Sorry…didn't sleep well last night. I'm tired." She says simply.

He walks over and sits across from her, "Why didn't you sleep well?" He shakes his head changing his mind, "Nevermind…I don't want to know."

Brenda smiles and shakes her head too, "No…it's not like that. Just didn't sleep well. I guess I had a hard time turning my brain off."

Dylan watches her silently. Her eyes looking into her cup. She absently runs her finger around the rim of her coffee mug, "Whats wrong Bren?"

Her eyes meet his quickly, "Nothing." she lies.

Dylan smiles a little bringing his cup to his lips, he sips his coffee, his eyes staring into hers, "You've always been a shit liar Brenda." He jokes.

Brenda laughs lightly and gives him a cute shrug. "Talk to me." He sets down his cup and leans his elbows on the kitchen table. His hands clasp together as he leans into her. "You can talk to me about anything. What's going on?"

Brenda takes a deep breqth, "It's too werid." She shakes her head.

"Try me." Dylan presists.

She bites her lip and sighs, "Jax told me he loved me last night." Dylan's eyes widen but he keeps himself collected, "I couldn't say it back."

He nods understanding, "Why?" He leans back swallowing hard. So maybe she was a little correct, this was weird.

"It's soon right? I mean…I know I don't have tons of relationship experience, but it feels fast?"

Dylan shrugs, "I don't know. I don't use those words lightly. I have told two girls in my lifetime that I loved them."

Brenda looks at him. A small clench of her heart reminds her she still cares. It still affects her he would love someone other than her. She ignores the jealousy.

Brenda leans her arms on the table and covers her face, "He told me how he feels and I couldn't say it back. God I'm such an asshole."

Dylan smiles and reaches his hand taking hers in his away from her face. "I wouldn't get to caught up in your head about this Bren. Sometimes those 3 words are often felt on different schedules. You can't blame yourself for not feeling the same. That's not fair to you and it isn't fair to him just to say it because you feel bad."

"I know that Dylan but that's the thing, it's not that I don't feel that way for him, it's like physically the words wouldn't come out."

Dylan takes a deep breath and breathes out, "Im sorry…this is weird talking to you about. Just forget it honestly."

"No…no Bren, I'm not upset to hear you say that. Well I mean it's not the best thing I've ever heard" Brenda laughs a little, "But that's not what I was thinking. I'm thinking maybe it wasn't the words Jax said to you. Maybe you just weren't ready to hear them?"

Brenda looks at him, his eyes piercing his, "Or maybe…you just aren't ready to feel them yet?"

"Mommy…daddy." Olivia comes running in interrupting their moment.

"Morning baby girl." Dylan scoops her up and sets her between them. Olivia wraps her little arm around Brenda and the other around Dylan as she hugs them.

"You hungry honey?" Brenda gets up but Dylan reaches for her hand. She looks down at it then back at Dylan. He squeezes it. His eyes telling her, its going to be okay. She nods as she moves towards the kitchen counter where she makes breakfast for them so Olivia can get to school on time. All the thinking and the talk with Dylan didn't make her feel any better about all of this. Brenda is well aware her feelings are all over the place and she is more confused then ever before.

On one hand Jax makes her feel again. He brings out all the bliss of falling in love and getting to know someone. She loves being with him and he is an amazing man. Thoughtful and patient and loving. On the other hand, her heart if filled with so much love for the man that sits talking animatedly with Olivia that she isn't quite sure there is any room for Jax in there. She has a man, giving himself entirely to her, showing her, proving himself to her. Showering her with love and affection and then she has the other that she knows loves her as much a she loves him but she also knows he'd hurt her over and over again even if it wasn't intentional. That's what they did to one another. It was passionate and consuming and so emotional. When you love someone with that much of your heart, with your soul, it's easy to hurt each other because the feeling are so deep. They're engrained into your whole self. Falling in love with Dylan was easy. Loving Dylan is hard. Falling in love with Jax is difficult but loving him is easy. Which one is right? What is it suppose to be? Brenda doesn't have a damn clue.

 _Hope you enjoyed the update. Things are heating up and moving along huh. Next up, A girl from Dylan's past comes back around making things even more confusing. What are your thoughts on Brenda's feelings? Is she just afraid? Which is the appropriate feeling? Shouldn't love be easy? Stay tuned hehe._


	25. Chapter 25

_Alright so we have hit the climax of this story here. I have pissed people off on and off with this story for a while. I doubt this chapter will be any different. It's a doozy. Trust in me. I would say enjoy! but I don't think many of you will. You love me! Please love me still LOL_

 _Chapter 25_

 _Witness to hell_

Brenda hooks her arm through Erica's as they make their way into the After Dark, Dylan following behind them. The bouncer lifts the hooked rope at the sight of Dylan.

"Thanks Tony." He smiles as he then leads Erica and Brenda into the club.

It was crowded for a typical Saturday night but they knew Jax was hooking them up with a table. Erica was going back to school, she was able to register for her classes online but classes were starting the following Monday so the gang decided to celebrate her going into her senior year at Berkeley and send her off the best way they knew how. Brenda smiles when she sees Brandon, Kelly, Steve, Janet, Donna and David holding down the fort. They all greet with hugs and affection as always. Jax had hooked them up with their regular tables on top of the platform over looking the dance floor. Leaving the group Brenda and Erica make their way to the bar. Brenda smiles as she watches Jax hustling behind the bar, helping the bartenders with orders.

"God do you see the ass on him, is it weird I want to bite it?" Brenda looks to her right seeing two women checking out Jax.

"Weird god no…I want to sit on his face. That man could do anything to me and I would happily let him." Her friend said back. Brenda eyes glare at them. She looks at Erica and receives the push to give these women a little show.

"Jax." Brenda calls out. The curious eyes of the women checking Jax out look at her with a glare of their own.

She ignores their looks and leans on the bar with a smile as he makes eye contact with her. "There's my beautiful girl." Jax smile widens as he hands a beer to a patron. He makes his way over to them wiping his hands on a towel he has hanging from his jeans. He places both strong hands on the bar and leans across to kiss her. The women gasp.

"Hi." He whispers hungrily with a smirk.

"Hi." She smiles back.

Brenda leans in and kisses him more hungrily, her tongue meeting his as he deepens it. So fine it was for those bitch girls benefit but so what? Jax pulls back with a sexy smirk.

"Mmmm." He groans resting his forehead against hers before leaning back.

"Jax baby, can I get a sex on the beach?" The blonde women leans in trying to interrupt his moment with Brenda. Her voice dripping with sexual innuendo. Jax rolls his eyes, not looking towards the annoyance.

Jax grabs Brenda's hand intertwining their fingers, "Dawn…can you get that?"

Dawn nods and comes in front of the seething jealous woman. Heather grunts disappointed at being bluntly ignored. It's not the first time she has tried to get his attention. It's not the first time she has tried to get anyone's attention. She is known around this club, she is a regular. Heather watches Jax hold Brenda's hand tightly lifting it over another bartender as he rounds to come on the other side of the bar.

He holds both hands now raising them slightly out to the side, "You look incredible." Jax's eyes travel down her tiny figure taking in her small black fitted dress and knee high boots. He raises his eyebrows at her, bringing her into him kissing her again.

Erica clears her throat playfully, "Ah hem."

Jax chuckles and holds Brenda against him, "Erica you look incredible too."

"Thank you." Erica nods happily for the compliment she completely fished herself.

"I got a surprise for you." Jax smiles as he keeps one of Brenda's hands in his and reaches for the small drink menu at the counter. He brings it up between them pointing to one of the new drinks.

"The Brenda?" She smiles and looks at him. He smiles back.

He shrugs cutely, "The staff at the meeting all came up with names for their favorite drinks. That was mine."

Brenda laughs and looks at the menu, "What is it?"

"A martini…of course." He wraps his arms tightly around her. Her arms meeting around his neck.

"A dirty one?" She lifts her eyebrows.

He chuckles, "Oh yeah…filthy." He kisses her hard.

"Ugh…gag." Erica rolls her eyes.

Brenda and Jax pull away with a smile, "It just reminded me of when we first met." He winks, Brenda blushes.

"Well…I will have one of those then. Erica?" Brenda looks towards her with a smile.

"Same." She said bored looking at her nails.

"Two dirty Brenda's coming up." Brenda's smile widens.

Jax laughs smacking her ass on the way back around the bar.

"You guys are disgustingly sweet." Erica looks at her.

"Thanks." Brenda looks back at her touched. They hadn't talked much about Jax since their fight but Jax and Brenda had moved from the awkward I love you night thankfully and things were going really well. He kept his promise and things hadn't changed. Actually if we were being honest it was better than ever.

"You got a problem?" Erica stands up straighter looking at "Heather" the blonde slut that was checking out Jax. She is eyeing Brenda up and down.

The girl rolls her eyes as Brenda tries to hide her smile. Jax smiles setting down both martini's. He shakes his head entertained. "Stupid slut has a staring problem." Erica is a no bullshit girl. Brenda knows this and her outburst doesn't surprise her. She takes a sip of her martini, "Jax touch that bitch I'll end you."

Jax laughs out loud, "I wouldn't touch that girl with Craig's dick." He pats Craig who is standing next to him which causes Jax's employee to laugh out loud.

"I appreciate that." Craig smiles looking at Erica.

Brenda laughs with a shake of her head and grabs her drink.

Erica leans into the bar, "Hi Craig." She smiles her best flirty smile, which causes Craig to drop a glass nervously.

Jax shakes his head again this time with a laugh, "Erica McKay…Craig Housman."

Erica holds out her hand. "Pleasure." Brenda grabs Erica's other hand pulling her away.

"See you honey." She turns and waves giving the blonde a dirty look as she passes. Erica smirking and looking her up and down as they pass.

"I'll be over in a sec." Jax calls out after her, he helps his bartenders catch up a little.

Brenda hears Heather talking but can't make it out as she tries to head back to the table through the throngs of people. "Yes Heather…she's my girlfriend." She hears Jax reply. Her smile widens as she tugs Erica's hand across the dance floor. Take that Heather.

Erica plops down next to Dylan as Brenda takes the seat across from them. Erica glares at the blonde still staring. "I swear to god that bitch has one coming to her tonight."

"Who?" Dylan looks at his sister surprised.

"Heather." Brenda and Erica feign disgust as they say her name out loud.

Dylan smiles and looks towards the bar, "Ah…Heather."

Erica's head whips towards him, "You." She points at him, "Uh never mind, I know the answer already." Dylan chuckles.

Brenda looks at him, "Gross." is all she comments as she shakes her head. She isn't surprised.

"Oh come on." Dylan reaches for Brenda's hand, in which she pulls away and looks towards the dance floor. "She's not that bad."

"She is that bad and that's the type of girl that keeps on giving…as in herpes. Plus she was starting shit with Brenda."

"She was?" Dylan looks towards Heather, sure enough she is staring their direction, she notices Dylan and smiles waving her fingers at him. Erica grunts and roll her eyes.

"Who's starting shit with Brenda?" Brandon leans in.

"Oh my god…can we drop it already." Brenda sighs annoyed. "Erica let's dance." Brenda sips her martini and gets up. Soon the girls follow each other to the dance floor.

Dylan sips his non alcoholic beer and watches her. She moves her hips to the beat, smiling and talking to Erica.

"How's it going?" Kelly slides in to Erica's abandoned chair.

Dylan's eyes move from Brenda's dancing as he looks at Kelly. "It's going." Dylan's eyes moving towards Brenda again. Kelly's stare follows his.

Jax and Craig appear in front of the girls and soon they have dance partners.

Dylan leans his elbows on the table, "What am I doing? This isn't me." Dylan whispers.

"What isn't you Dylan." Kelly sets her hand on his shoulder.

"This." Dylan leans back, "This pathetic brooding tortured asshole."

"Well…?" Kelly looks at him. I mean that is him to a T. Maybe not pathetic but brooding and tortured most definitely.

"Shut up." He looks at her. "You know what I mean. You know what fuck this." Dylan grabs his beer and gets up.

Brandon leans into Kelly as they watch him approach the bar. "What was that about?" Brandon asks clueless.

Kelly shakes her head, "I don't know…but I have a bad feeling about tonight." He brings his arm around her and pulls her in.

Dylan sits slumped over his desk. He swayed a little looking into his glass. Two years of sobriety fucked. He couldn't help it. He was sick of wanting something he couldn't have, he was sick of keeping her at arms length, he was sick of seeing her in the arms of another man, a seemingly better man that had his shit together and fell in love with her. Dylan tried to stay friends with her. He had hoped after their kitchen conversation that maybe because Brenda had not said those three words back to Jax that maybe there would have been some awkward pause in their relationship. But the past week had proven the opposite. They were closer, he was around more, she slept at his house a couple times coming back early in the morning to tend to their daughter. The fact Jax had said I love you had done the opposite. She looked to be in love with him too.

Dylan brought the glass of scotch to his lips and tossed it back. He was hiding out. He knew he couldn't get drunk in the open. Too many people, all of the gang to be exact knew he was sober, well used to be. One in particular he couldn't see the disappointment in her eyes. He picked up the empty glass and threw it towards the door. It shattered loudly. It was too late, he had fucked up already. He only had two glasses of this scotch, which he had hidden for literally years in a locked filing cabinet, not even Jax had the key too. Only two but he knew he was drunk. After two years of being sober, it wasn't going to take much. He closed his eyes and ran his hands gruffly down his face. He swiveled his chair towards the security camera against the south wall. There were 6 of them but his eyes were glued on one in particular. Brenda, Erica, Kelly and Donna danced around each other looking like they were having a blast. The guys no where to be seen. It was a packed night at the After Dark. His eyes scanned the other views, Jax behind the bar. He wasn't a bartender, but by the looks of the crowd down there, they were positively slammed. That was Jax for you. Pitching in, working hard, he was the manger at this club but that was him. He was always helping and never sat around with an ego that none of what he did around there was in his job description. Dylan angrily grabbed the scotch bottle and chugged it straight from the bottle. His heart began to beat wildly, he tried to catch his breath. He opened his side drawer hasty, grabbing the amber colored pill bottle. He popped one in his mouth to calm his anxiety. He hadn't had to take one in so long. He chased the Xanax down with another swig from the scotch. He remembers getting half way through it before his head fell back against the chair, as he closed his eyes, passing out almost instantly. The pills and booze surrounding him in darkness.

His dreams were vivid. Tales of I'm sorry, what did you expect me to do? I didn't know. I was jealous. All of it confusing to him. Was Brenda saying sorry for something? Then the dream turned sexual. Kisses and groping. I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry. It's ok…I forgive you. I still want you. God I want you too.

The pull of his jeans and zipper jerked him into consciousness. Eyes opening and closing, his eyes dropped again closing in a long blink. How long had he been out? Felt like forever. He groaned, his hand finding the side of someone's head. Soft lips worked his shaft quickly. His eyes open as he looked down. Brunette, chocolate brown hair, his hand softly pulled the brown curtain away from the face. She deep throated him, taking him fuller into her mouth and he groaned out.

"Fuck." His eyes closed again. Fuck that felt good. He tried to pry his eyes open again, blurred vision embraced him as he tried to focus. Her face came into his mind. The only face that ever came into mind.

"Bren?" The voice that came out of his mouth sounded foreign, it was muffled and slurred and didn't come out making sense. He tried to focus, Brenda was giving him a blow job? His mind was playing tricks on him. Was that dream real?

"I missed you." She whispered before taking him into her mouth again. Her voice familiar but in the whisper he couldn't make it out, he couldn't concentrate, not when his dick was in her mouth. His dick that hadn't had pleasure in months. He must be dreaming. He reached down gripping his hands around her shoulders, lifting her a little. He closed his eyes and pulled her to him. If he was dreaming about Brenda he wanted all of her. His eyes closed and his lips crashed into hers. Their tongues danced together deliciously. He propped her on his desk and moved between her legs. His vision blurry but he saw the light skin, chocolate locks of thick brown hair, black dress. His hands groped her, _God Brenda_ his mind raced with lust. He had been waiting for this. He had dreamed about it. He had thought about making love to her for months…no make that years. In every women he had been with he saw her. Dylan reached palming his dick, yep ready and willing to take her, to finally take her. He shoved his pants down to his ankles. His hands roughly griping the little black dress as he shoved it up to her waist. Her panties ripped as he flung the offending lace to the floor. She reached into her little black purse, the shine of the foil wrapper in between her fingers. Dylan watched as she tore it with her teeth. She smiled at him reaching down rolling it over his tip and down his thick shaft.

"We don't need this shit, I want to feel you." He slurred out reaching to take it off. He didn't need a barrier with Brenda. He never used a condom with her. It had only been her. Proof of that in a brown eyed four year old was proof enough of their carelessness.

Her hand flung at his, away from his center. "Leave it."

He squinted a little willing his eyes to focus, that didn't sound like Brenda. "It's been so long, do you forgive me?" She cooed her hands find his hair. She grips it roughly and brings his lips to hers again. He pulls back, and looks at her. Blurred Brenda comes in and out of focus. She grips his dick in her hands and lines him with her center. She scoots closer to him and soon he is emerged with warmth. His eyes close and his head falls back. He moves slowly, in and out as he cusses. _Fuck yes I forgive you._ He thinks in his mind.

Her moans not right. He picks up speed, she moans out louder. He shakes his head, it's not her. Is it her? He thrusts into her harder. He can't help it, she feels good, it's been so long. He hasn't had sex in forever and pleasure surrounds him. His eyes close tightly. His mind envisions Brenda and Jax, kissing, cuddling, making love, he slams into her harder.

"You're mine. Not his." He mumbles, he takes her rougher to prove a point.

"What?" The voice says confused. Familiar but it doesn't sound like Brenda.

He grips her hips painfully hard and shoves his manhood in her over and over. The door to the office opens and a gasp…then a sob. He squeezes his eyes shut as he pumps in and out of her hasilty, his head falling back as he groans. "Fuck…Bren. Brenda uhhhhhhh" He groans.

"Oh my god…I'm sorry." He hears her voice. She realizes her name is said. He must want her to leave but she can't move. Her feet cemented in place.

His eyes fall on who is standing now in his office. Brenda looks horrified at the scene in front of her. She is stuck in place. She can't run away. Their eyes meet. Hurt, confusion…disgust look back at him.

Dylan shakes his head to get the visual out of his mind. Things coming into focus as he looks around his office. It wasn't a dream, it was real. His eyes focus on the women he is still attached too. Gina stares back at him.

Gina covers herself embarrassed and hides her face in Dylan's neck.

Dylan movements have paused, everything shocking his senses. It's a zap of lightening awaking him from his drugged and drunken stuper. Brenda apologizes again. His eyes meet hers then feels Gina covering herself with the front of him. He pulls her roughly from him so she can see her face.

The woman he is having sex with, is not Brenda. She resembles her. Same frame, a little smaller, same height, same thick straight brown hair. Her eyes a brown not grey blue. Her lips too full, her complexion too olive, her beauty mark prominent on the right side of her face an inch away from her mouth. His eyes meet Brenda's again.

"Oh god." He feels sick as he pulls out of her. "Gina that the fuck?" His hands go to his hair. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He is so lost, so clueless. He wasn't even talking too her. He was mad at her, what the hell was he doing having sex with her? The dream? Had he forgiven her?

"I came to talk to you. You said you forgive me." Gina says hurt now. She looks at Brenda guiltly, "Are you with her? You said you still wanted me too." She was as confused as Dylan was.

The replacement brunettes, the first replacement brunette ever is staring wide eyes at him. This type of thing used to work back in the day. It wasn't working now. Now that he had Brenda back in his life and she wasn't just a ghost of a memory. Not with the actual Brenda staring at him like he had just struck her in the face. Brenda's eyes narrow on Gina. Her eyes welling up with tears. Betrayal crossing her face. He knew it. He had seen that look before. In the park, with Kelly. This one was worse.

"I can't believe this." Brendas voice soft, surrounded with tears. "Her of all people!" She yelled loudly.

He reaches down grabbing his pants, "Fuck…Brenda?" He says as he hoists them over his hips. Brenda finally coming back to reality, turns quickly. Her hand coming over her mouth as she runs out of the office. Dylan securing his pants as he runs after her.

"Brenda." He calls out as she flies down the stairs. She is heading for the exit. He flees after her, not even doing his belt up. Brenda runs past Jax, he tries to reach her but she escapes his grasp. Dylan runs past Jax as he grabs his arm strongly, stoping him.

"What happened? What did you do to her?" Dylan flings his arm out of Jax's death grip.

"Stay out of it." He shouts, Jax's face is confused, "Just let me talk to her, give me 5 minutes." He says nicer. He needs a moment without Jax's interference. Jax nods once, as Dylan runs after Brenda. He gets five minutes…and thats all.

Brenda flings the door open as cool LA air hits her face. She breathes finally. She looks around, there is a girl being held up by her friends waiting on a cab, there is a couple making out against the wall in the parking lot. People waiting in line because the club is at capacity.

"Brenda…wait."

Brenda shakes her head, "Leave me alone. Please leave me alone."

"Please…let me explain."

"There is nothing to say. I saw you!" Her voice breaking, "We aren't together, it just wasn't easy to see." Tears roll down her cheeks. "God!" She cries out loudly, "Her off all people. She kept you from me, she kept you from knowing your daughter!"

"I thought it was you." He breathes. That was NOT the right thing to say as she swings around to face him, he panics. "I drank…I fucked up. I took pills. I fucked up." He tells her again. "I thought it was a dream…I thought it was you, baby I thought it was you."

Her hands come to her face as she sobs out loud, "Oh my god…do you know how sick that sounds." She glares at him. She shakes her head, "You're single, you can screw whoever you want. But her? SHE RUINED EVERYTHING!" She screams.

Dylan moves quickly, Brenda turning around quickly, he grips her arms and turns her towards him. "I fucked up. I don't remember even talking to her. Please believe me I would never…I would never do that."

She tears her arms from his grip, "News flash Dylan…you did do it. I saw you. You were having sex with her right in front of my eyes. And you just forgave her, for keeping those messages from you, lying about it. She was the reason you missed the first four years of your daughters life!" Dylan's hands grip his hair. This is not happening…this is not happening.

"Brenda…I love you. I love you so fucking much. I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. It wasn't me, I wasn't myself. I hate her for what she did. She did ruin everything. I haven't forgiven anything. I was out of it. I fell off the wagon. I love you…Please believe me." He was crying now…begging. "I thought it was you."

It wasn't Dylan having sex with someone else. Brenda had been doing that for over a month. She had no claim on who he was sexual with, who he dated. It was who it was. Maybe he was telling the truth but that didn't take away the fact that it happened. Not only did Brenda walk in to see Dylan literally fucking some woman but that woman was the reason for everything wrong in Brenda's life, that was far worse then him leaving her, him being drunk, him cheating on her with her best friend. This betrayal topped them all.

Brenda's hands came to her face as she cried loudly. "I can't believe this."

"I know . . . I don't have any excuse other than I was fucked up . . . but you have to forgive me. We can figure this out." he says.

And Brenda laughs. A real laugh. Despite her tears, she finds herself laughing; She's losing her mind. This scene isn't playing out like in the movies. She's not holding herself together. She's not handling the news elegantly with a simple gasp or a single tear trailing down her cheek. She is crying, pulling at her own hair, and she is barely able to control her emotions and form a full sentence.

"Forgive you?" She laughs madly. "She ruined my entire life—you know that, don't you? Months I spent in tears, waiting for you to call me. Waiting for you to return those messages. Raising our daughter alone. You didn't get them because of her and then you stick your dick in her!"

He shifts a little, his eyes turning quickly noticing Jax now standing in the wing, he let them have five minutes but he wasn't giving them more.

"Bren, please. You know I love you, I know you do. Let's go home, please, and I will tell you everything that I remember."

"Home? That isn't my home. It never has been; we both know that." Brenda begins to walk away but Dylan grabs her hand bringing her back to face him. He is close now. His eyes on hers, not caring there are people in this parking lot, staring, Jax himself stares at the scene in front of him.

"What can I do? I'll do anything," he begs. With his eyes still focused on hers, he bends down. Brenda is confused for a second before she realizes he is getting on his knees in front of her. "Please baby…I didn't mean for this to happen…I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't know what I was doing…Tell me what to do."

"Nothing. There is nothing you can do to make this go away." Brenda looks past him, "Jax?" She calls out, "Can you take me home or somewhere?" She shakes her head realizing she doesn't have anywhere to go, thankful Olivia is sleeping with Iris at the hotel. She could go there? But Dylan would look for her there.

He reaches in his pocket to take out his keys, "Yeah Bren." He silently walks towards her, not exactly sure what happened but not hesitating to take Brenda wherever her heart deserves.

Dylan is still on his knees, he is crying quietly, "Brenda…don't leave…don't take my daughter from me…please." He begs fear in his voice.

Jax takes her hand in his, "I would never take Olivia from you. I would never hurt our daughter like that. But I…I don't want to have anything to do with you. Do me a favor and do not be there tomorrow when I come to get my things. I'll have my lawyer in touch with you so we can agree on a visitation schedule." She turns to walk towards Jax's car.

Dylan gets up, he isn't giving up just like that. "Brenda…where are you going to go? Where are you going to stay? Don't do this."

"It's not your business. She gets to Jax's car.

Dylan reaches for her taking her arm again, "It is my business where my daughter lives, it is my fucking business." Dylan slams his hand on top of Jax's mustang angrily. Brenda jumps frightened. Jax's hand comes to Dylan's shoulder. "Don't fucking touch me." Dylan throws his hand off aggressively. Jax has seen enough.

Jax grabs Dylan's shirt in his grip and slams him against his car, Brenda opens the passenger side door seeing her chance to escape. She slams it shut to block everything out.

"Leave. her. alone." Jax speaks between his teeth.

Dylan smirks at him, his eyes glare into his, "You may have my girl for now…but you won't have my daughter, they will not live with you." Dylan seethes, "I'd rather die first."

"You're drunk?" Jax smells the booze on him in an instant. "You're drinking again?" Dylan tries to get free from Jax's hold. He's stronger than him, in this instant with the scotch and the drugs wearing him thin he feels weak against Jax's strong arms.

"You come in here, take her away from me. You have my club, my girl…I will not give you my daughter. I won't share her with you." Dylan says the chemicals still swarming his system.

Jax shakes his head and slams him against the car again, then lets him go. "You're pathetic. Yeah right… _I_ took her away from you. Dylan man…you did that all by yourself." He moves away from him and walks steadily around the car. He glares at him, "All I did was show her she deserved better than you."

Steve and Brandon come out of the club quickly. They must have heard there was a problem. News travels fast when security is involved. "Make sure he gets home and Erica." Jax calls out to Brandon. "I got Bren." He tells them as Brandon nods. He gets in and starts his car, Dylan leans down looking into the window at Brenda. She keeps her eyes forward.

"Baby…please." He says heartbroken. Jax pulls away and drives towards the exit. Brenda looks to the rear view mirror and watches Dylan fall to his knees for the second time that night.

 _Hit review. *hides under a rock* There is a method to my madness, there is a reason for this hardship. And the number one reason is, people are too in love with Dylan right now. People feel bad for him, they are talking crap about Brenda and the truth is, Brenda is a victim. She is a victim of Dylan's stunts and shit and some reality needed to happen. Trust in my crazy ideas. Brenda was too conflicted between these two guys. I needed to even the playing field a little and not with Jax and Brenda and Dylan. Jax is a stand up guy. His only fault is he loves a girl that will never entirly love him back. Thats his only fault. Dylan has some serious issues he needs to over come. Let me know what you think. Yes yes BD will be HEA. Dont worry, they will ned up together._


	26. Authors Note

An Author note

It's really hard to write these stories. I look to you guys as chapter to chapter critics and inspiration. I have to thank most everyone for always having my back and being supportive. I also want to say thank you to the haters as well. Sometimes their opinions base my chapter ideas. With that being said. When someone is a guest on the site. I can not reply to your review. It sucks for me because I can not engage with you, I can't give you spoilers or encourage you to hang on and trust in me. I can't defend my choices etc. This story has A LOT of guest reviews. One or two in particular that I find unfair and actually hurt my feelings a little. Which is hard to do because in all honesty I don't know you. Maybe you like to be a guest so I can't reply to you. Who knows? But below is a 2 reviews that I can NOT not reply to. So if this is the way I have to do it, then I will. Also maybe some of the other readers will get my logic from my responses too.

 _:Ok, you want the truth? I love all of your stories but this was one of my favorites. I was so excited to see an update, but absolutely I hated this chapter. He has done everything he could to make it right and you still make him the bad guy. She blames him but she's at fault too. She has done nothing but lead him on and play with his heart. I will continue to read your other stories but I'm done with this one. You are an amazing writer and you should do it for a living, but this last chapter was so out there and honestly…ridiculous._

In response guest reader #1, first off thank you for your review and thank you for taking the time to read my story. I'm sorry you hated this chapter, I'm sure you are not the only one. Hence why I hid under a rock LOL These characters are so beloved, its hard to write "bad" Dylan. I've done it before in my writing and its never easy, because he is one of my favorite characters BUT Dylan had demons, he wasn't perfect and sometimes he made stupid decisions. He isn't the bad guy in this story he had a bad night. Brenda blames him for who he slept with her reaction is exactly that reactive. She isn't even thinking as of now…about pills and booze. She is just betrayed and reacting from what she saw. Brenda HAS lead him on and confused him and she'll figure this all out. I'm bummed you are "done" with this story. How can you just say F it no this sucks an stop reading? It's your choice and I'm saddened to see you go as a reader. But you have no idea where I'm going with this story, you don't know if Dylan will redeem himself or if Brenda will take the blame you can't judge anything yet because this is just a chapter. So that being said, I hope you reply to this as well and I hope you continue reading. I don't think in the end you will be disappointed. I also am very aware you can't make everyone happy. I try but sometimes fail. This is not how the story ends there is more, more soul searching and more explanation. I do hope you'll hang in there. Thanks again for reading.

 _:I agree, powerfully written. I love your attention to detail and how I can picture everything you describe._

 _So because people don't like Jax you make Dylan the bad guy over and over and over? I like the idea of Jax but with someone like Valerie. Or if you want Jax and Brenda, then find someone for Dylan to be with in a nice relationship that makes Brenda jealous. Dylan has become pathetic lately, it reminded me of Season 10 and how he pined over Kelly while she was with Matt. Blah! It wasn't attractive then and it isn't in this story either._

 _Brenda is far from a victim. She has brought the majority of this on herself. Rubbing up against him in the kitchen, kissing him, sleeping in the bed with him, she would have slept with Dylan that one night after she asked for him to distract her. She's not a victim, she's a tease! I found this to be so far fetched with Gina. Heather would have been more believable._

 _I'm not sure where you are going with this, or how this will work out. Losing Brenda is one thing, but Olivia is a totally different story. It's not believable that she would trust him with her anytime soon. I see a continuing downward spiral for Dylan._

Response to guest reader #2

I get it…I do. And making Dylan the supposed bad guy this chapter had nothing to do with Jax and more to do with Brenda. My readers were down on Brenda, and sometimes rightfully so. So yes people were pissed at Brenda so I wanted to turn the tables a little. Even the playing field. I also needed something pretty major to happen for her to get some space from all the kissing, cuddling and flirting. I needed her to be able to get closer to Jax. Heather wouldn't have made the impact that Gina would have done. Brenda has no right to be angry at who Dylan sleeps with, she's sleeping with someone else, she is in a relationship that is quite serious with another guy. She has no right to be angry at Dylan sleeping with anyone. Heather would not have had the impact this did. It needed to be a big deal. I would have had those same readers reviewing and saying, Brenda is a tease, she cant have her cake and eat to too. Thats my reasoning for it. I mean Dylan hasn't been drunk for 2 years. Mixing pills and a half of bottle of scotch could absolutely make him like this. It's not far fetched, maybe far fetched it was Gina because he's pissed at her, but he was in another world. Confused and messed up. So thats my explanation on that. Its a story people not real life. Maybe you can't picture being so messed up this would happen to you, but far worse things have happened to addicts I know. I have a friend who I lived with for a year in my late teens and early 20's. She was an alcoholic and in recovery. She woke up butt naked from the waist down in front of a 7/11 with two guys she didn't know. That was her bottom. There are girls stories of them passing out drunk and being raped by guys and not even knowing it happened. This is NOT far fetched at ALL. And this goes along with the guest #1 also when they said the chapter was out there and ridiculous, was it? Things happen, things people aren't proud of and this was one of Dylan's. He'll get help and he'll redeem himself. In the beginning of this story I explained that Dylan used women. He used them for sex to replace his loss of Brenda. That right there is MESSED up lol but no one said anything about that. Also I do not intend to have Dylan, go down a down hill spiral with drugs or alcohol again. He had a set back, a relapse. He isn't going to continue this behavior.

In conclusion, those are the two reviews I felt like defending myself too. You can still feel the same but I felt like it was important to explain myself a little. It's not fair to be harsh and not let me explain myself. Please please keep reading, please keep reviewing and please trust I have a bigger picture for this story.

PS Dylan did not go bare back with Gina, he went to take it off but she stopped him by flinging his hand away. I think some readers missed that or I probably wasn't detailed enough with it. I had a couple people include it in reviews or ask, so no don't worry people Dylan used a condom. LOL

This is awesome...I might continue to do little notes like this throughout my other stories as well. It's fun to have a discussion about the chapter. I guess when all is said and done, when we have debates like this about a story, then it must be a good story then. To have reaction and passion and feelings. So I'm pretty excited about that lol The more input you have regarding a story, the better it is in my mind LOL Thanks guys!

Love you all,

DylanLovesBrenda


	27. Chapter 26

_Well I felt with the last chapter I owed you a little conclusion or something amazing after that emotional roller coaster. I think it turned out good but I'll let you guys be the judge of that. Thanks for the replies and posts after the authors note. You guys are the best. I do this for me and to keep this amazing couple alive but I also do it for you guys. If no one was reading, there would be no point. Guest #2, you're the best! Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 26_

 _Brandon...The Voice of Reason_

Brandon opens Dylan's front door, walking through it and moving to the living room. His hand comes down his face as he looks around. The place was trashed. A broken lamp, pillows thrown about, Dylan's vinyl collection bin tipped over, records spewed about. The coffee table thrown and lay on its side. He knew he should have drove him home. He had been staying with Kelly lately but tonight he knew it wasn't a good idea to leave him alone. Brenda had called him to let him know she was sleeping at Jax for the night. Olivia was safe and ignorantly blissed not knowing a thing sleeping with Iris. Steve had text Brandon saying he and David had dropped Dylan off at his house and walked him in, that he was still a little out of it but home safe. Brandon shook his head, he picks up the coffee table righting it, he grabs the couch pillows off the floor and tossed them on the couch, he rights a sideways lamp. He walks through the kitchen, everything seemingly in it's place thankfully.

"Dylan?" He calls out. Silence surrounds him as he climbs the stairs. Brandon peaks in Olivia and Brenda's bedrooms, all seems normal. He walks down to Dylans. His hand comes out and pushes the slightly open door so its ajar.

"Dylan?" He says softly. His room is dark. _Damn it Dylan if you bailed again_. Brandon can't help but think to himself. Brandon can't see anything. He reaches blindly for the light switch shifting it to the on position as light fills Dylan's room. There Dylan sit back against the closet on the floor. His eyes squinted not used to the light. Brenda's box sit beside him, pictures sprawled out over the floor, his finished albums from Brenda and Olivia he had received for his birthday just this month all finished and wonderful surround him. Dylan clutches the ring box in his hands he finally makes eye contact with Brandon.

Brandon sighs and moves towards him. He lowers himself to the floor beside him. He reaches for a stack of photos next to his foot and brings it closer to look at. He smiles a little. It was one of him and Brenda, she's pregnant as Brandon makes fun of how big she was as she flips him off. "We took this in London. She smacked me so hard in the head." Brandon laughs, "Don't ever tell Brenda or any woman for that matter…Damn you got big." Brandon chuckles, "I thought she was going to literally punch me in the face." He said with humor in his voice. Dylan stares at the floor. Brandon flips to the next one. He looks at Brenda and Dylan kissing on the Westminster bridge, Big Ben in the background. "She had this one up in her apartment in London. For a while. I don't even know if she ever took it down to be honest."

Dylan looks towards it. "I broke the frame the night before I left. I was drunk and fell into the wall."

Brandon looks at Dylan, his eyes meeting his sadly, regret all over his face, "She put it back up, even after you left, it hung in that same spot. By the door." Brandon set the pictures back onto the floor, "What's that?" His head nudges towards the ring.

"Ancient history." Dylan said opening the box. Brandon looks at the ring sitting in the box.

"When did you get that?" He asked solemnly.

"Five years ago. Should probably get rid of it now huh?" He slaps it closed.

Brandon sighs, "I don't know about that. I remember I kept Kelly's ring." Dylan looked at him, "The one that I bought her the first time. When you offered her a trip around the world. Do you remember that?"

Dylan rolls his eyes, "Yeah…I remember that."

"Tracy found it, a girl I was seeing. I got so mad at myself for not moving on. I had a beautiful girlfriend that was absolutely crazy about me and I was holding on to this piece of jewelry like it was this magical thing keeping me connected to Kelly. You know?"

Dylan swallows and nods understanding, Brandon continues, "I took it back. Telling myself I was going to move on. I was going to try harder in my relationship with Tracy and put Kelly behind me once and for all."

"It didn't work though" Dylan says lamely.

Brandon shakes his head, "No it didn't work. I told Steve I was returning the ring and he in turn told Kelly." He looked at Dylan, "She went and bought it back. I didn't know for while she did that. But when I found out I asked her why…she told me because it was ours. She didn't want anyone else to have it. She wanted to hold on to the magic too. She still has it." Brandon smiles. "I just saw it the other day. Man talk about foreplay."

The right side of Dylan's mouth comes up a little begging to smirk. Silence comes over the two long time best friends. Dylan shakes his head, "God I fucked up. Two years….two fucking years without a drink and I mix it with it a sedative. Two years of sobriety down the fucking drain."

"About that…you going to get back into meetings? AA?" Brandon asked worried.

"I don't want to drink Brandon. I don't even miss drinking for the most part."

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know." A tear falls down this cheek quickly. Like he was holding it in without blinking. "It's what I do. It's how I cope. I felt like I was losing her. And it scared me. I never wanted to force Brenda to be with me. I wanted her to realize it on her own. So I waited patiently, for the most part. Was her friend. Then I saw them getting closer. He loves her and she loves him too. Not only did I see myself losing her for good, I also saw me losing Olivia too. I couldn't deal with it."

"You're not going lose Olivia Dylan, I know Brenda is upset right now but she would never keep her from you again. Not ever. I know my sister, you won't lose your daughter Dylan."

Dylan looks at his old friend, tears in his eyes, "I already have. They're moving out."

Brandon took a deep breath, "Don't hate me for saying this but its not a terrible idea for them to move out." Dylan's eyes heartbroken, "Look I know you don't want to hear this, Brenda sure didn't when I told her. I know you guys wanted this fairytale family situation but it isn't realistic. You can't harbor feeling towards one another and live together platonically. You just can't, you're in love with one another. You're too passionate and brutal and heavy and consuming to be anything other than lovers. We all know it, you two know it. I know you loved having them here Dylan but it just wasn't healthy." Dylan looks down, "She is dating someone else man. You're having to look at that every day. She stays the night there and he comes into your home, then you wonder why you lost it tonight…I mean it's not that surprising."

"When Brenda found out she was pregnant she tried to call me."

Brandon nods, "I know."

"My girlfriend at the time, Gina erased the messages and told Brenda she had the wrong number. I drank yes but because I was out of it, I had sex with Gina tonight thinking it was Brenda and Brenda walked in on us."

Brandon's hand comes to his cheek as he wipes it across his mouth. Now understanding a little more about why Brenda seems to be so upset. "Brenda blames her for me not knowing and I do too a little, so seeing us together like that…"

"Dylan look. I love my sister she is my best friend. She is also a highly emotional woman. Seeing you in that position probably tore her heart out but…you aren't with Brenda…maybe it wasn't the best decision to have sex with Gina but you are free to do so."

"Bran…I was literally balls deep in the enemy when she walked in, she'll never speak to me again."

Brandon smirks at his wording and shakes his head. "Right…like how she said she'd never speak to you again when you hooked up with Kelly?" Brandon laughs a little, "Because Brenda is so innocent? Please she is sleeping with your employee Dylan." Dylan cringes, "You think I'm stupid…she has been sleeping in your bed. You guys walk around here pretending to be best friends, you think I didn't notice the profound stare downs, the not so innocent touches, you guys eye fuck the shit out of each other when her boyfriend is in the same room."

Dylan looks at Brandon, "You think everyone sees this? Even Jax?"

"Dylan man…we all see it, that guy sees it too. He just gives her the benefit of the doubt. He probably tells himself you guys are connected because you share a romantic past and a daughter, who by the way notices too. Olivia is the smartest little girl I know. She sees it too."

Dylan covers his face with his hands, "What am I going to do Brandon? Losing Brenda is hard enough, losing Olivia is not an option."

Brandon turns a little being serious, "You know what you do Dylan, you stop using alcohol and drugs as a crutch. You go to counseling and learn healthy ways to cope with shit. You sit Brenda down when she is ready and you talk to her. You apologize, grovel and explain. You take the blame that's yours…only yours cause she isn't innocent in this either and you come to an agreement on how to handle things with Olivia. I love you both but she is the most important person in this equation right now. It's not about unresolved feelings and who is having sex with who…it's about that little girl that has no idea her world is about to blow up."

Dylan face morphs together as he sobs out, breaking down. He hates this. He hates ruining Olivia's every day life. Her routine, taking her away from her home.

Silence fills the room as Dylan cries it's overwhelming and long. Dylan looks at him, "Brenda is not going to happy you are taking my side in this." He jokes, half serious half joking.

Brandon smiles, "Oh I'm not taking your side. You got drunk and fucked Brenda's arch enemy. Thinking and wishing it was her, that's messed up man." Brandon laughs an shakes his head. "Did you at least stop when she walked in?" He smiles at him.

Dylan looks guilty, "Not at first."

Brandon gets up, "Jesus Dylan."

"I really thought it was her, I know that sounds crazy but it's true. They're always her. I always want them to be her. I never meant to hurt her. It kills me I did."

Brandon looks own at his friend an takes a deep breath. He nods, "Everything will work out. It will. I know my sister, she can't ever hate you and she can't stay mad at you forever. Maybe just start over. Fresh start, get help and let Brenda come to you."

Dylan nods, he leans his head against the closet door and breathes out. Brandon goes to walk out but Dylan stops him. "Bran?" He turns towards him.

"Thanks…I love you man."

Brandon smiles, "I love you too brother."

Brenda walks up the porch fidgeting and nervous. She had to tell Jax she didn't want him to come with her. He offered, he held her when she cried an listened to the story silently but she couldn't involve him more than he already was. This was her problem. Her family. Being the nice guy he was he didn't make any of last night about himself but she saw it in his eyes. Red flags were being waved everywhere in them and she knew she had her own conversation that had to take place with him after things settled. Jax was nothing but sweet and caring, he deserved a conversation.

Brenda unlocks the door and walks in. God she hoped Dylan wasn't here. She had decided she was going to stay with Iris at the hotel. It was neutral territory. Olivia wouldn't think it was too weird. Plus she loved hotels so she would be distracted enough with living in one. It would buy her time to figure stuff out, find an apartment since she forfeited her lease the theater had offered. Her and Iris had discussed her staying in town longer to help out even though Erica was going back to school.

She walked into the living room finding Brandon on the couch watching TV. She gave him a small smile glad he was there. Brandon reachs the remote towards the TV turning it off.

"You okay?" Brandon asked concerned.

Brenda nods and breathes out, "Yeah…I'm okay." She answers back not very convincingly.

Brandon smiles and opens his one arm to her as she moves quickly. He wraps his arm around her and rests his face on the top of her head.

"Is he here?" She asks low and emotional.

He nods against her head, "Yeah…but he said he was going to stay in his room. Not bother you."

She nods. Silence surrounds them.

"You know I love you Bren…right?" Brandon asks after a few moments.

She leans up looks at her brother, "Of course."

"He feels like shit. Woke up today hung over and miserable. He is feeling guilty and emotional and I haven't ever seem him like this. He is worse today then he was last night. And last night wasn't pretty."

Brenda sighs, "Why the hell would he drink? Why the hell would he throw away 2 years of sobriety?" She looks at her brother heartbroken.

"Because that's how Dylan copes. He takes a shitty situation and makes it worse for himself. He is his own worse enemy. He knows…he actually called a therapist and made an appointment. He knows he can't continue this path."

"Do you think I should keep Olivia from him, until he's proven to be okay not drinking again?"

Brandon shook his head, "No I don't think you should do that. Dylan doesn't want to drink Bren. He doesn't want to lose his little girl. That's his biggest fear right now. It's not my decision but if it was, I wouldn't do that. He needs to work on his coping skills with a professional and he would never hurt Olivia. You know that too. She isn't in danger with him. It was one night, a relapse and I really believe that's all it was."

Brenda nods. In her heart she believes this too. She sighs again and gets up, "I should start getting stuff together. I can't stay here."

Brandon nods agreeing, "Where are you going to go?" He looks at her.

"The hotel with Iris. I think it's the best thing for right now. Iris gets grammy time and to help out. It's neutral and not Jax condo which wasn't even a consideration. It's too soon to live together and to take Olivia down that road isn't a smart idea."

"Good." Brandon nods thankful she isn't. Silence again, "Bren I'm sorry he hurt you. He wasn't himself. It's not excuse I know but that man would literally die for you. He is crazy in love with you but it doesnt excuse his behavior. It couldn't have been easy seeing it."

Tears fill Brenda's eyes, "I overreacted a little. Dylan is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants and yeah Gina was a slap in the face but…Brandon." She whispers guiltily, "I would have reacted the same even if it was some random girl. It wasn't easy seeing him like that, intimate with another woman. And I know he's had to see me in that way too, maybe not as graphic." She lets an uncomfortable chuckle escape her lips as she wipes her nose with a finger, "But I can take half the blame on this. I know he was hurting."

Brandon smiles, "Well my job here is done." He jokes. "I'm meeting Kelly over at the pit. Want to join us?"

Brenda shakes her head, "I'm gonna pack some stuff for the week. Give this some space. I leave for Arizona with Jax next week and hopefully when I come back, things will have settled. Olivia can stay with Dylan while I'm gone and hopefully by then we can discuss how to do this thing."

Brandon nods, as he walks over to her. He takes her into his arms and hugs her tightly. "Everything will work out Bren. You and Dylan are in each others lives now…forever. You guys will figure it out."

"Thanks." She lets go of her brother as he leans in and places a sweet kiss her cheek. He walks toward the door, "Love you Bran." She says after him.

Brandon smiles as his eyes meet his sisters, "I love you too Bren."

Brenda is busy packing clothes for both her and Olivia. Dylan stays true to his word and stays in his room. She looks around her bedroom. She was lying last night when she said this wasn't her home. She felt more home here then anywhere in the last few years. She closes her door silently wheeling the suitcases behind her. She stops and looks towards Dylan's closed bedroom door. Her mind screaming not to do it. To leave well alone, her heart beating wildly in her chest pushing it toward his door. The string that connects them reeling her in like a fish on a line. She leaves the bags in the hallway and walks towards his door. Her hand lays softly on the wood of it. Without even thinking she knocks. Not waiting for an invitation she pushes the door open. She is not prepared to see the sight in front of her. Dylan is crying. Sitting in bed, looking like he lost his best friend. His eyes meet hers, pain and sorrow are replaced with shock she is there. He wipes his face embarrassed.

"Dylan." She breathes, her heart breaking at the simple sight of him. He guiltily looks down, not able to look at the pity and sadness in her eyes.

She leaves his door open as she walks in, silently she crawls on his bed and rests her back against the headboard. They both look into their laps, deafening silence surround them.

"I'm sorry." The both whisper at the same time. Their eyes meet. Tears escaping both their eyes as they look at each other.

Dylan begins, "I was stupid and jealous and hurt…but its no excuse for what I did. I know I can't change it or take it back and I might have ruined everything between us." He whispers, "But I want you to know. That I would never hurt Olivia. She is my everything Bren and I may have fucked everything up with you, but I won't do that with her. You have to believe that, she is the most important thing to me…and I can't lose her too." Brenda looks at him tears flowing freely unashamed own his face.

She stares at him an then nods, "I know."

She looks at her hands, "I can't blame this all on you. I can't even blame this all on Gina. She was just a girl, an insecure girl that was trying to protect her relationship. She didn't know that what she was doing would hit a domino effect. Last night I didn't see that but…I can't blame her. I could have reached you but I think somewhere in my heart, I was scare too. I was scared to think you'd come back, just for her and not me. That I'd have to share my girl with you and whoever you were dating. It was easy to blame you, for not returning my calls, it was a goo excuse so I couldn't blame myself. Then it was easy to blame Gina when finding out she kept them from you. It was easier to place blame on everyone else then to accept I had the power to tell you the whole time."

Silence fell over them as Dylan took in her confession. He close his eyes, "I'm sorry I slept with her Bren."

"Dylan..I"

"Please…just let me say this." He looked into her eyes. "I really thought it was you and I think underneath the pills and the scotch, I knew it wasn't. But I wanted it to be. I can imagine how that felt to see me like that. I see you in a relationship with Jax and it literally kills me." He shakes his head emotionally, "If I saw you and him intimately like that." He blows his breath out loudly, "No…I wouldn't have dealt well. No way." Brenda laughs a little at the truth he isn't even saying in those words. It was plain awful. It would have been for him too.

"Yeah…it was interesting." Dylan looks at her. She is trying to be light about it, he sees it but in her eyes, there is devastation there. He reaches for her hand. She allows him to take it.

"I'm sorry." Brenda nods accepting his apology.

"Where you gonna go?' Dylan voice breaks, knowing maybe this isn't the time for this question and fearing the answer.

She lets go of his hand and Dylan instantly feels the loss of it. He swallows hard and waits for her answer, "I'm gonna stay with Iris in the hotel this week. Olivia can stay with you when I go to Arizona and then well figure out a living situation when I come back?" She looks at him for agreement.

"Okay." He breathes out relieved. He was so scared her and Olivia would be living with Jax.

"Come here." He whispers wrapping his arm around her. She allows it resting her head against his chest as she closes her eyes. She feels him kiss her head and rests his cheek against her hair.

"I can't live without you Brenda. I don't want to live without you. And I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it to you. I'm going to talk to a therapist Tuesday afternoon. I need to learn to cope better with the shit life throws at me. I want to be a better person, for myself, Olivia and you. But I know I can't live without you in my life now. I've tried, and failed miserably."

Brenda shifts as Dylan does too. They are laying side by side now, face to face. "I have learned the hard way how to live without you. I know I can live without you Dylan." Her hand comes to his cheek, "But I don't want too. I don't ever want too. We're kind of stuck together." She says to lighten the mood.

Dylan chuckles softly, then take a deep breath. He hugs her to him, her head resting on his chest again. "Don't you wish we could start all over again? Go back and do things different."

"All the time." Brenda whispers.

"I mean we could." Dylan whispers planting a kiss to her head.

"Like how…like our first date." She jokes.

Dylan smiles, "No…that was one for the books. I'm talking the first time we met. Start over, from scratch. Clean slate." He utters the words she had told him before.

She looks up at him. She wishes it was that simple. He looks at her lovingly. "So you're Brandon's sister." His tone the same as all those years ago, in front of the lockers at West Beverly.

Brenda laughs out loud. She smiles and looks at him. "Yeah" she bods with a small smile. "I'm Brandon's sister." She says back. Her words echo in his head. She'd spoken them with the voice of a grown woman, but they conjured images of a girl with brown hair and innocent eyes. Staring intently into his. Shy, beautiful and intriguing. The hallway of school disappearing just in that stare.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan." He says seriously. His eyes intently looking into hers.

"Nice to meet you too…I'm Brenda." She says back.

 _Well…did I redeem myself a little? These two have quite a way to go. But things will move toward happiness a little. Next up Brenda will go to Arizona with Jax and realize everything at once. Dylan will continue to seek help and learn to grow and become a better man. Spend time with Olivia. Stick with me folks. It's about to get BD hot in here, in the coming chapters. You won't want to miss how it all unfolds. Show me some love._


	28. Chapter 27

_Chapter 27_

 _Braving Arizona_

The plane ride from LA to Arizona was a short one. One hour and 19 min. Literally it felt like they took off, had a drink and began their decent. Brenda hadn't talked much so far, she was nervous to meet Jax's family. You can tell a lot about someone by their family. What if they didn't like her? What if his brother and sister were protective or unfriendly? Or what if they were as amazing as Jax was? Him and his siblings were close, he made that clear. Did they know about Olivia? Dylan? It was all so nerve wracking. Another cause for her anxiety was Jax hadn't been very talkative either. They had seen each other this past week but less frequently then the norm. Brenda was getting situated with Iris and she wanted to spend as much time with Olivia as she could. Knowing Dylan had her over this long weekend. She hadn't been away from her for that long before. She would be staying with Jax at his brothers house Thursday through Sunday. The very house that his brother and Jax's ex shared. I mean how weird would that be? Could she trust herself to not let her automatic dislike for this woman show? Who falls in love with their fiancé's brother? Jax may be a forgiving guy, maybe it took a long time even but Brenda had hoped her face wouldn't give her judgement away.

Brenda brought the whiskey on the rocks to her lips as she shot it back. It was strong and warmed her body. She normally didn't drink things like this but the flight was short and she needed something strong to calm her nerves. Jax's hand came to her jean covered her thigh giving it a squeeze.

"You okay?"

Brenda looked at him. His eyes were warm, his expression caring. She nods, "Yes…I'm just nervous." She admits.

Jax smiles at her, "Don't be nervous. They're going to love you as much as I do." He says leaning in for a sweet peck. Brenda smiles at him. No this wasn't the first time since the initial I love you but he hadn't said it in that context since. It was joined in with things like, they're going to love you as much as I do, there's my love or I adore you. Which meant the same thing and was much easier to say out loud. Brenda had thought a lot about Jax this past week and truthfully, she loved him back. He wasn't perfect. He worked too much, he got quiet and didn't share his frustrations with her as much as she wanted, whether is was about work or even Dylan. She wanted this to be a good weekend. A weekend where she could be away from her normal everyday life, away from the thoughts of what happened with Gina, Dylan and Brandon and Kelly, which had been inseparable since he returned. She had her own issues in love to deal with and she realized she hadn't talked to either about what they meant. Was Brandon going to stay there? Were they just hooking up? Jax interrupted her thoughts.

"Hey." He grabs her hand, "I know this week has been rough. And I know I have been distant. I know we have stuff to talk about and we will. Hopefully this weekend away from LA we can talk…reconnect. But you know how I feel about you. My family is everything to me and I want them to meet you. I do love you Brenda and I want to share this part of my life with you."

Brenda looks at him. She looks deeply in his eyes squeezing his hand.

Then the words fell out like it was the easiest thing to say in the world, "I love you too."

Jax's eyes widened surprise on his face. His perfect lips spread into a slow beautiful smile, "Yeah?"

Brenda nodded, she did it was the truth, "I do." She whispered.

His mouth descended on hers, his tongue plunged into her mouth igniting every possessive nerve in his body. She melted into him, the weirdness of the week evaporated behind shared lust and primal need. He pulled away with a small groan. He bit his lip, his eyes slowly opening. "You tell me now on a plane with 125 other people." He smiled playfully, his eyes showing his desire bright.

Brenda giggled and shrugged, "Sorry."

Jax smile was huge and his cutest attribute, he kept it with a shake of his head. He growled sexual frustration evident as he wrapped his arm around her sitting back in his seat. "Now I have to wait to get you alone…knowing my family that won't be till way later." He chuckled and Brenda joined in.

She kisses his cheek. He looks at her, his face softer, almost lighter. "It will be worth the wait." She tells him.

He nods sweetly, "I'm counting on it." So much more than a night alone behind that meaning.

Arizona is dry and hot. It's actually not as bad as the summer months but the Scottsdale's summer was bleeding into September. The dry heat made it a little more doable. Brenda looked at the scenery, everything was beige, sandy and the definition of a dessert. It reminded her of Palm Springs a little. The neighborhoods were nice and the houses nicer. She could tell just from the drive this was an expensive part of Arizona. She reached to turn the radio down in their rent a car.

"How long has your brother lived here?" She asked interested. Knowing his family was from Los Angeles.

"Him and Amy moved here close to four years ago. He is a computer engineer and his company moved their headquarters here. Amy is a part time teacher now, with the kids and everything so it was easy to relocate."

"About Amy…is that going to be weird?" Jax smiled.

"Maybe." He was being honest. "Look it took me two years of not talking to my brother to be able to come here." Brenda's face saddened. "I didn't talk to them for while. When we broke up in '99, Amy became pregnant right away. I missed the first year of my nephews life and when she became pregnant with her second I knew I had to move forward. Amy and I are close. Like I told you before they didn't mean for this to happen. But on that note, I'm sure it will be weird for you…and her."

Brenda faced froward, "Great." She breathed.

"Hey…if I can come back here, you can surly do it." He joked and Brenda smiled. "And silver lining, she's pregnant again so at least you can drink to calm your nerves she can't. That's all it will be is nerves, at least from her side I'm guessing. My sister you'll love. She is fun and witty and she has been texting me for a week excited to meet you."

"Okay." Brenda shook her head trying to calm her nerves, "Remind me of everyone's names."

Jax laughs, "My bother is Jacob…we call him Jake. Amy, you know. They have two boys, Maverick and Colton, a girl on the way TBA." Jax smiled. "My sister is Juliet…we call her Jules. Her husband James and their daughter Riley and son James Jr. We call him Jamie."

Brenda took a deep breath trying to memorize the names quickly, she smiled wide, "Jaxson, Jacob and Juliet? How cute" she joked.

Jax rolls his eyes, "My mother is Jenny and my dad is Jared. Yeah so cute." He rolls his eyes embarrassed with their J household.

Brenda laughs, "Really? Twins named Brenda and Brandon. Come on now I can't judge."

Jax laughs and reaches for her hand getting serious, his eyes bounce from the road in front of him to hers, "I'm glad your here."

"Me too." She smiles back, and she is.

They park outside a modern Spanish style home in a cul-de-sac. Not huge by Beverly Hills standard mansions but definitely bigger than the Walsh House. Jax grabbing their bags, leading the way to his brothers home. He rings the doorbell and looks into her eyes. He leans in, his lips opening up around hers sensually. It's not a long kiss but a sexy slow one that makes Brenda's knees week. She is about to go in deeper when the front door opens swiftly. Jax smiles wide, a hint of embarrassment across his face on being caught. Brenda clears her throat.

They are greeted by an amused handsome man, dirty blonde hair, darker than Jax's, same blue eyes, a face resembling Jax but more manly, older and distinguished. Jacob being the oldest in his family.

"Maybe I should show you to your room already." He says playfully and suddenly the smile seems boyish. He is incredibly good looking and has kind eyes.

"Fuck off." Jax smiles.

Jake laughs and ushers them in, as Jax sets down their bags. The two brothers hug fiercely with smiles, patting each other on their backs making a loud patting noise. Their love is evident in that moment and it makes Brenda smile. Had to believe these two have the history they have.

Jake smiles at her. There is nothing fake or awkward about it. "You must be Brenda." He says nicely.

She smiles back at him. "And you must be Jake?" Brenda holds out her hand, "Nice to finally meet you." Jake's hand meets hers. He smiles, "When Jax said you were beautiful, he wasn't kidding." The sentiment wasn't creepy, it was playful almost for Jax's benefit.

Jake smiles at Jax with a nod and a wiggle of his brows. The look he gives him approving. "I'll fucking kill you." Jax jokes with a laugh. Well that's a good sign that they can joke about it. Jake just laughs it off.

Two boys come barreling towards us, "Uncle Jax Uncle Jax." They say in unison. Jax bends down picking them up at the same time. Their small butts resting on his strong forearms.

"Look at you." Jax's face lights up and Brenda smiles again. He kisses them both, as both boys hug him fondly. "My main men." He says back to them. "How are you guys doing."

"Good…great." Is their little response. The cute little reunion stole Brenda's attention and that is when she see a pregnant brunette smiling at them. Amy stands naturally beautiful. She is wearing a tight royal blue maxi dress, strapless with bathing suit stings tried around her neck. The dress hugs her perfectly round belly. The rest of her is toned and thin. Her chocolate brown hair rests in a messy bun, her eyes pop against her fair complexion and seem brighter blue against her dress. Her eyes move to Brenda's and she smiles nervously. Brenda smiles back, hoping to god she doesn't see the nervousness and insecurity in her eyes. She is gorgeous in a I don't try way and she feels small as Amy sizes her up. Her lips are full and glossed pink. No makeup with a little mascara. Jax sets down his nephews and smiles at her. His eyes are warm and affectionate.

"Hey Ames." He says nicely calling her by a nickname.

"Jaxson." She responds with his full name, Brenda has never heard anyone call him it.

He walks toward her, "Look at you." His eyes look at her little belly, his arms out a little, "You look beautiful Ames." They hug. Brenda's eyes find Jake, he just watches with a smile. Jax and Amy's hug isn't long or inappropriate as he moves towards Brenda. His arm comes lazily around her, resting on her hip.

"Amy…Mav…Colt…this is Brenda." He says.

"Hi Brenda." Maverick smiles. Colton gives her a toothy grin, "You're pretty." He says sweetly and Brenda laughs a little.

"Thank you." She responds keeping her smile.

"You have a beautiful home, thanks for having me." Brenda responds. Jake sets his arm around his wife as they smile back at Brenda. They do look gorgeous together. Jax looks too hard for Amy. She has a slight prude or stuffy like exterior but matches well to the clean cut Jacob compared to Jax, with his bad boy charm, tattoos and muscles. Brenda can't picture them together. Then again she wonders if Jax was always the way he was. When did he get his tattoos? She makes a mental note to ask him sometime.

"It's so hot out. I hope you brought your suits?" Amy smiles, "Jacob is gonna barbecue if you guys want to get settled and come out back? I told the kids they couldn't go in until you got here." Amy smiles at Jax.

Jax nods reaches down and grabs their bags, "Same room as always?" He asks her and she nods in answering. I follow Jax up the stairs. Jake and the boys make their way deeper into the house out of sight, her eyes meet Amy's. She looks at her a second too long before she smiles at her, then moving into the house. Weird…it was.

Brenda eyes Jax as he pulls on a pair of board shorts over his bare butt. His body was not even funny. Ripped and tanned. She looked down on the bed, she brought two swimsuits with her. One a sexy one piece that made her boobs look good but was modest and covered her stripes of motherhood. Then she brought her normal go to. A sexy black bikini with a haltered top and barely there side tie bottoms. She looks at Jax again busy putting his clothes back in his bag. Then she thinks of Amy, skinny and perfect even pregnant. Brenda remembers feeling like a cow when she carried Olivia, she knew hands down she didn't look like her. Why was she feeling insecure?

"You okay babe?" Jax is looking at her now, sitting on the bed.

Brenda smiles shyly at him, she takes a deep breath, "I don't know which to wear?"

Jax looks down at the small pieces of fabric. "What would you usually wear?"

"The bikini." She shrugs, "But…it's your family."

Jax laughs, "Please…nobody cares about that. Jules will be irritating wearing a small piece of cloth I'm sure and Amy will have a two piece on too…even with the belly." He jokes warmly. "Be yourself around them." He adds.

Brenda swallows hard and goes to put the black bikini on. "So Amy is nice." She doesn't look into his eyes as she clasps the back of her top. Stepping into her bottoms and pulling them over her narrow hips. She turns to look at herself in the full length mirror they have set in the corner.

His arms are around her center in an instant, her gaze looks to see him behind her in the mirror. He kisses her shoulder then her neck. His eyes meet hers, "Was that weird for you?"

"Very much." Brenda admits, "But I'm not exactly sure why?"

Jax hugs her tighter against himself. "She's harmless." He kisses her neck again. His hands caressing her waist now and hips. "I just realized I haven't ever seen you in a bathing suit before. I like it." He whispered huskily.

"She is pretty too." Why that fell out of her mouth she isn't sure. Jax stops and looks at her in the mirror. He turns her around to face him.

"What's going on?" He asks concerned and sweetly. He wants her to feel comfortable.

"I don't know." Brenda sighs, "She's very nice don't get me wrong, just I feel her eyes are sizing me up? I guess I didn't expect her to be so beautiful."

Jax smiles, "Brenda…do you see yourself?" He turns her towards the mirror. "You are gorgeous, and sexy with this hot little body. Sure she's beautiful but she is also very pregnant and meeting my girlfriend for the first time, who's exquisite. I'm sure she's thinking the same thing." He stares intently at her in the mirror.

"Is she protective, does she always do this when you bring girls over?"

Jack chuckles, "I wouldn't know you're the first one I've brought home…well since her."

Brenda sighed loudly. "Hey." Jax turns her again, this time wrapping his arms tightly around her wait. "I promise she's harmless. My sister will be here in a couple hours and you'll love her. She is everything that Amy is not and she'll have you laughing your ass off. If it makes you feel better, she isn't Amy's biggest fan. I won't leave you alone with her. Okay?"

Brenda nods as Jax leans in and kisses her. It turns heated quickly as usual and Jax smiles pulling away. "Let's go before I say to hell with them and bury my face in between these sexy thighs."

Brenda giggles, warmth flipping her belly. He places a soft kiss on the slope of her breasts and then breaths out shaking his head slowly, "Fuck…I like you in a bathing suit." His eyes lustful.

Brenda playfully smacks him, grabbing her cover up and pushing him to the door.

Brenda sips her sangria and watches Jax flip his nephews and play with them in the pool, She smiles at them. His love for them evident. She looks towards the kitchen seeing Amy preparing dinner and she instantly feels like an asshole for not offering to help. She wasn't that comfortable around her. She sets down her drink and gets up to offer. Her mother would be so disappointed in her. That wasn't how she was raised. She walks hesitatingly to the open French doors as Amy's head pops up and her eyes meet hers.

"Can I help you with anything?" Brenda asks nicely.

Amy smiles, "No…I prepared most everything last night. Just finishing up. We won't start cooking until Jules gets here anyway. Can I refill your sangria?"

"I'm okay…but thank you."

Amy looks at her, a little bit sadness flickers in her eye, then a fake wall comes up, "Go enjoy the pool. You're our guest."

Brenda nods and turns around to go back to her chair. She feels her eyes on her but her eyes find Jax. He smiles when he sees her expression. He swims closer to the ledge and playfully splashes her.

Brenda laughs, god that feels good. It's hotter than shit in Arizona. "Come in." he beckons her.

"I'm good." She shakes her head not feeling comfortable with Amy's eyes on her. His eye brow goes up. He's plotting. His strong arms come to the ledge as he easily hoists himself out of the water. Brenda looks him up and down unashamed of her gawking as he stares at her hungrily.

"Don't you dare." She holds out her hands as he stalks forward at her.

"If you want to keep that little dress dry I suggest you take it off." His voice is like honey. He takes her hands and pulls her to her feet. "1…2."

"Okay okay." She laughs. She crosses her arms across her chest lifting her sundress over her head. She tosses it on the chair.

"3." Jax picks Brenda up quickly bridal style causing her to laugh out loud and allude attention to them.

Jake smiles as he watches Jax jump in the pool with her. The kids cheer, cannon balling after them. As Brenda comes to the surface with a smile. She pushes her wet hair away from her face. She sees Jake and Jax laughing, the kids having fun and then she sees Amy. Straight faced, judging, and hardly amused as she watches them. Brenda's gaze goes to Jax as he grabs her around the waist. Her legs circle around his.

"Feels good right." He says happily.

Brenda doesn't say anything and kisses him. It's not inappropriate or too much. Jax smiles leaning his forehead against hers. She glances quickly at Amy and looks back at Jax where she kisses him again.

Brenda gets up to to refill her wine, "You mind grabbing me another beer babe?"

"Sure." She collects what empties she can carry and walks to the French doors.

"Jacob…where is your sister? We haven't even started cooking, this is so typical go her." Amy's bitchy tone makes her stop.

"Hey…baby…relax. You need to calm down. She'll be here any minute you know Jules." Jake is sweet and loving as Brenda peaks in at them. His hands are sweetly on her prominent belly. He kisses her forehead tenderly. Then her lips.

"Yeah…I know Jules." She scoffs.

Jake chuckles and kisses her again. As he pulls away to leave the kitchen, Brenda times it so it looks like she is just walking in.

Jake smiles, "Hey Brenda. Let me get that." He takes the empties from her to dispose of as she carries her empty glass into the kitchen. Amy looks down still upset.

"You okay?" Brenda asks nicely.

Amy forces smile and takes a deep breath. "Yes…my patience is tested so much with this pregnancy." Her hand touches her abdomen. "When I was pregnant with the boys I was always in a good mood." She lightly laughs and shakes her head. "This one not so much."

Brenda smiles, "When I was pregnant, I once told off my costar for grabbing the last KitKat. It was just left over candy someone brought in, it wasn't even mine." Brenda jokes and Amy smiles widens. "I mean not told off, try yelling and practically ripping his head off…over a KitKat."

Amy laughs, "That's right, Jaxson said you have a daughter. She is 4 right, what's her name?"

Brenda comes into the kitchen feeling a little more relaxed. "Olivia."

"Ah that's pretty name. You didn't want to bring her, she probably would have had blast with the kids?" Her voice is too sweet but she seems to be trying.

"She's spending time with her dad this weekend." Brenda pours herself a refill from the sangria pitcher.

Amy walks closer to her. "That's right. Jaxson's boss." The sweet voice changing.

Brenda looks at her, "Right." She says oddly.

"The one your still in love with. You live with him yes?"

"Excuse me?" Brenda is taken back.

Amy laughs, a bitchy fake laugh and Brenda is suddenly aware she isn't allowed to punch a pregnant woman.

"Did I do something to offend you?" Brenda's voice like steel, "You know you have been sizing me up since I got here."

"I don't know what your talking about dear." Amy turns pretending to do something, step ford wife press play.

"I don't know exactly what you have against me…"

"Don't get too comfortable sweetie." She pats Brenda's hand that lays on the counter and turns, "He'll get tired of being second choice. Or just tire of you period."

Brenda ignores the jab, "Hmmm…at first I thought…I don't know maybe you were protective. But it looks like maybe you're not the only one in the room, who thinks someone is still in love with their ex." Brenda says brazen.

"You don't know anything about me…or Jaxson." Amy says straight faced, gone is the goodie gum ball persona.

Brenda chuckles, "I know you fucked his brother when you were engaged." The girls stare each other down as Jules makes herself known. She has witnessed unknowingly the whole exchange.

"Hey Amy." Jules says out loud. Then her eyes meet Brenda's.

"Excuse me." Amy tries to hide her tears as she leaves the kitchen.

She looks at Jules frightened and embarrassed, _what have I done?_ Jules stares at Brenda then she laughs out loud. A hardy laugh that echos into the kitchen. "Hell yes…you must be Brenda." There is humor and excitement in her eyes.

"I'm going to hell." Brenda's hand comes over her mouth. "I just made a pregnant woman cry."

Jules laughs out loud again. "Jules." She holds out her hand and they shake, "And you Brenda…are my fucking hero." She wraps her arm around ger, "Come on."

"Wait…my wine." She goes to reach for it.

"Fuck the princess Martha Stewart shit Amy wine. I brought something better." She holds up a plastic bag. Brenda grins, "Where's my baby brother at?" She says amused, instantly liking Brenda's cut throat attitude.

The girls walk out, Jules arm around Brenda proudly. Jax looks up and smiles. "Jules!" He gets up excitedly. They embrace tightly. "Sight for sore eyes, how's my favorite sister doing?" Her hands cup his face tenderly.

"Freaking awesome and I'm your only sister smart ass." She smiles.

Jax laughs, "I see you met my Bren" His hand touches the small of Brenda's back.

Jules smiles, "I worship your Bren. Jakey!" She moves to her older brother, they hug so tightly he lifts her off the floor, "Where are the monkeys?"

Jake leans out from her, "Upstairs I think…I'll go get them."

"Don't be silly sit, they'll come down. I brought an appetizer." She pulls out a bottle of Screwball. Which makes both brothers say, _oh shit here we go_. They sit as Jake lights the propane fire pit. Jax pulls Brenda into his lap so there is enough seats for everyone.

"Where's James, the nuggets?" Jax asks wondering where the rest of the family is.

"Total 2 year old meltdown. Jamie forgot Mr. Frog…and poor James just drove both kids back to the hotel. They'll be back though."

"So Brenda…tell me everything about yourself, besides being bad ass."

Brenda looks down uncomfortably with a small smile.

"Leave her alone Jules." Jax whines.

"Don't you guys have a grill to man or something?" Jules jokes.

Both brothers laugh. Jake getting up to start cooking. Jax leans in kissing Brenda's temple. "You good?" He asks before joining his brother.

"She's fine…she'll be 15 feet away from you. Go leave us…girl talk." Jules pours four shots of screwball. She hands two of them to Jax.

"I'm good." Brenda reassures him. Jax holds the shots but looks at Brenda making sure she is cool, they lean in and kiss softly.

Both girls watch him walk away. Jules hands Brenda a shot glass. Brenda looking indifferently at it. "It's peanut butter whiskey. It's amazing I promise." She smiles. Jules holds out her shot glass, "To finally getting to meet you and putting that stupid bitch in her place." Brenda shakes her head not proud of her behavior.

"I'm really sorry about that." She sets it down.

"Oh please Brenda I heard what she said to you. Pregnant or not she deserved it. I know how she is."

"Still." Brenda sighs, "It wasn't right. You and Amy don't get along?"

"Shot." She urges her. They clink them together and shoot them back. Brenda is surprisingly pleased. The whiskey doesn't taste like whiskey at all, it taste like a spoonful of peanut butter, rich and nutty. She looks at the bottle.

"Wow." Brenda comments.

"Right." Jules smiles at her. She leans back in her chair and takes a deep breath. "It's not that Amy and I don't get along. I love Jake and the boys. But she isn't my favorite person in the world. The first time I met her she was gaga and engaged to Jax. The second time I met her she was all of a sudden in love with Jake and pregnant." Jules shrugs like that should be enough of an explanation.

"I think she is still in love with Jax." Brenda comments her inner dialogue. Her eyes snap up meeting Jules. She really doesn't have a filter today.

Jules smiles at her and pours two more shots, they take another quickly. "I'm sure she does but not like you think. Jax hasn't ever brought a girl to any of our family things. You're the first. She just doesn't know how to handle it. Plus she's hormonal and bitchier than normal."

Brenda looks at Jax. He is smiling holding a beer chatting with Jake. He looks light and happy. His gaze finds hers, his smile widens with a wink before he turns his attention back to his brother.

"He's happy with you." Jules catches their exchange.

Brenda turns to look at her quickly.

"He's different with you then he was her. More himself. I can talk bad about Amy and what she did to this family at that time but…in breaking my brother, she opened him up."

At that moment Amy comes out. Any trace of her tears or being upset wiped clean. Amy carries the tray of meat to Jake.

Jules pours two more shots, "You think she'll tell Jax what I said to her." Brenda says lowly.

Jules picks up both glasses handing one to her again, "No way." Jules laughs a little. "Jax would literally go off on her if he knew what she said or how she has been treating you. He knows she owes him this happiness. He wouldn't be mad at you, he'd go bat shit on her ."

Jules holds up her shot glass again, "It's really great to meet you Brenda, its a long weekend, don't let her make you feel anything other than welcome. She's been the outsider for a long time, don't let her reverse the rolls." She smiles.

Brenda smiles back, "Thanks Jules." They take the shot quickly again. Brenda takes a moment to look at Jules. She has blonde hair, a pretty face. Her and Jax look more alike then Jake does. She dresses casually, almost hippy like. She has a calm and fun energy.

"Fuck it's hot here." Jules lifts her white tank top over her head, she stands and takes off her cut off shorts. Just as Jule's husband and kids come wondering through the French doors. Jules smiles. "Brenda…this is my James. Jamie," The toddler looks like a he's had a rough day two years old can be hard. "And Riley." A sweet little girl that looks to be about Olivia's age. James is a devastatingly handsome guy. His hair is dark and unruly. He has bright green eyes and deep dimples. Brenda almost blushes as they shake hands. "Right?" Jules smiles at her when James goes to say hello to his bother in laws. "Man is sex on legs, has the biggest heart I know and a huge dick." Brenda laughs out loud and Jules joins in. "Come let's cool off. Arizona sucks balls."

Brenda gets up and nods, taking her cover up off once again. Jax was right, Jules is awesome and finally Brenda feels more welcome and comfortable then she has the whole day.

When Jax and Brenda finally call it a night. They lay down in the guest bed, full and a little tipsy. "Did you have a good time?" Jax whispers as he cuddles her to his chest.

"Yeah." She says simply.

"I'm sorry about Amy." He says softly.

Brenda looks up at him, "How did you…"

"Come on Bren. You think I didn't notice the way she was looking at you. Or notice the little comments here and there. I heard the kitchen shit too." Brenda hides her face embarrassed as she hears Jax chuckle. His finger finds her chin, lifting her face to his. His lips descend on hers. His tongue darts out and sweeps slowly against hers. "I'm proud of you. I don't know what came over her and I don't care. You had every right to put her in her place. I don't even know why she was acting like that. She doesn't care about me like that."

"Mmmm I don't know about that." Brenda comments.

"Brenda." He shakes his head, pushing her hair from her face. "I know it was hard to tell today, but that girl lives and breathes my brother. Ignore her and if she continues she is going to hear about it."

"Please don't." Brenda begs.

Jax smiles, "Thank you for coming. My bother loves you and Jules is enamored with you. She is already talking about coming out to LA." Brenda laughs.

"Jules is the best." Brenda says back, the feeling is very mutual.

"The weekend will get better, I promise." He brushes his lips gently against hers. His hands gripping her back pulling her so she is closer to him. His tongue demanding attention as Brenda feeds it back to him. The kiss is hot and wet and sears a jolt down her whole body. "I can't stop thinking about you in that black bikini. I had to adjust my hard on all damn day." He voice husky.

Brenda's hands go to his face as he moves to hover over her. His words like fire in her belly. He pulls back reaching for a condom and rolls it over himself like a pro. He searches her gaze as he positions himself at her entrance, Brenda's lips fall apart when he pushes his way into her tight warmth, stretching her until her legs feel numb. Jax fills her so completely she feels it in her stomach and the weight of his attention makes her feel like she is the only woman in the world. Like in that moment, she was his world and it frightens her. She thinks about Dylan. For the first time since being with Jax she had never thought about Dylan when they were intimate. Those three little words had been said and this intimacy was different than normal. Jax was about to make love to her.

He drops his head and kisses her hard, thrusting his hips as he lets Brenda taste his lips and tongue. And the more his hips rocked, the more she feels like she is floating in a foamy sea of pleasure.

"Brenda." He whispers like she was too good to be true. "Fuck you feel so good."

"So do you." Brenda's husky voice whispers back, relishing in the way he feels sliding in and out of her. His shaft driving deep again and again. It was hell and heaven all rolled into one. Brenda's hand holds the side of his face. And she lifts her spread legs higher on his torso. The thrust grows deeper then and she moans out loud unashamed. She closes her eyes to cope with the sensory overloud, but it was no use. The heat pooling in her center begins to bubble as Jax squeezed her thighs, encouraging the pace of her rocking hips against him. She opens her eyes to meet his gaze so he could see how blissfully lost in pleasure she is at that moment.

"I love you." He says studying every flicker of her expression as she grinds against him. Before she can say it back, her eyelids grow heavy and just before they fall shut, she curls forward, crying out as she comes against him. At the same moment, before Brenda even has time to gasp for breath, Jax bucks against her orgasm, burying himself inside her as he holds her hips down with large hands, groaning as he climaxes.

When he lifts his eyes to hers, his jaw is slack, anger flashes in his eyes. He gets up hastily, disposing the condom in the wastebasket and silently hoists a pair of grey sweats over his hips. Brenda sits up, holding the covers to her breasts now. He is quiet but anger is radiating off his back. He wordlessly gets up and leaves the bedroom slamming the bedroom door on his way out.

Brenda sits stunned, looking at the closed door. What in the hell just fucking happened?

 _*Hides in the corner for leaving a cliff hanger* Hit review people. Next chapter is Dylan and Olivia sharing a moment. And we find out why after what seemed like a good love making session, Jax is PISSED. Any guesses?_


	29. Chapter 28

_I know I know you guys are so spoiled! You're welcome! But I better get full reviews on both chapters posted today. Or next time I'll make you wait HAHA! Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 28_

 _What a Soulmate Does_

Dylan cuddles Olivia into his side as he finishes reading the book in his lap. She sighs at its happy ending. Showing her romantic side even at her young age. She looks up at her father. Dylan smiling at her sweet face.

"Daddy? What's a soulmate?"

Dylan smiles, "Where did you learn that word from?"

"Samantha Fuller says her mommy and daddy are soulmates."

"Hmm…Samantha Fuller again huh?"

"What is it?" She asks innocently.

"Uh…it's like a best friend…but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone that makes you a better person. Actually they don't make you a better person you do that all by yourself…because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or…when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love them. Nothing can ever change that. It's the person you would do anything for at any hour to save them…to help them. And it means you have a soul connection with them, like your heart and their heart are one."

"Do you have a soulmate?" She smiles her little mind wandering.

"I do. I think I have two." He watches her eyes widen.

"Two? You can have more than one?"

"Sure. I think so." He gives her a small little shrug.

"Well? Let's hear it daddy don't keep me in suspense." Dylan laughs out loud.

"Well…you of course. I think you are my soulmate…don't you think?"

Olivia thinks her little lips pursing together, she nods thinking about the definition. "Yes…I think so."

Dylan chuckles. "And…whose the second." She adds.

His smile fades a little, "Well." He doesn't even have to think about it, "Your mom." He takes a big breath, "Your mom is definitely my soul mate. Always has been."

Olivias smile wides. She cuddles back against Dylan, "I wonder who my soulmate is."

Dylan smiles and kisses her head gently, "You'll meet them one day. And you'll just know."

Olivia sighs happily and stays quite. Dylan thinks about Brenda. In Arizona for the weekend with Jax. He wonders if she is having fun. If his family is being nice to her. If she is enjoying the time away from the drama here or if he has crossed her mind at all.

Brenda gets up and looks to Jax's side of the bed. It didn't look like he had been back. The house is quiet as she throws on some yoga pants and a tank top. She pads down stairs entering the kitchen. Jax looks out the window by the sink lost in thought.

"Hey sweetie." She says softly. He doesn't turn around.

"Where is everyone?" She looks around noting how quiet the house is. It's only about 9:30 in the morning but she also knows with kids your days seem to start early. "Jax?"

"They left to meet Jules for breakfast at the hotel." He says quietly. His voice soft.

"You didn't want us to join them?" Brenda takes a couple steps in the kitchen. She reaches for the pot of coffee sitting on the counter and pours herself a cup freely. The silence making her uncomfortable. She sips it eagerly, staring at the back of Jax's white t-shirt.

"Where did you sleep?" Brenda asks trying to rouse the silence.

She sets her mug down on the counter with a bang, "Are you going to tell me what the fuck this is about?" Her voice raises. Then she holds her breath as he finally turns around.

Tears are in his eyes. Anger on his face. "You don't have any…idea do you?" His voice breaks.

Brenda's hands come out, 'No." She shakes her head clueless. "I had such a good night. Last night was wonderful and it felt so different than any other time, like we were connected." She moves towards him. He takes a step back as she gets close to him.

He scoffs, "Yeah…I thought so too."

She moves towards him quickly this time not giving him a chance to back away as she wraps her arms around his waist. His arms staying at his side, "Then what's wrong, why are you angry with me?" Tears fill her eyes in her confusion. He looks at her. The pain and hurt so visible in his eyes she swallows hard. He shakes his head looking away towards the wall. "Jax…please." She breathes begging. He walks out of her hold away from her. "Jax look at me." She is crying now. She doesn't understand any of this. Then she wishes she hadn't asked for that. His eyes are full of tears when he finally meets her eyes and he breaks.

"When you came hard against me…you cried out his fucking name!" His hands clench in fists at his side. "We were making love and you cried out Dylan's fucking name as we came together!" His voice louder this time, repeating it.

"What…No…no I didn't!" she cries out defensively.

Jax laughs wildly and then he shakes his head looking away from her as tears spill down his handsome face, "I…I honestly can't even look at your face right now. You literally sicken me." He tells at her.

Brenda sobs out and moves towards him, her hands go to his face as he moves it away from her. His head falls as he looks at his feet, "Jax…I'm sorry I didn't…I didn't mean it. It was an accident or something, I…I didn't even know I did…fuck." She breathes out. Knowing that no explanation can make this seem okay. None…nothing she can think of or lie about will take this back.

He looks at her finally, "Was it always like that? Every time we were together you were thinking about him? Wishing it was him?" His voice barely over a whisper. He looks to his feet again shaking his head.

"No Jax. I swear on my life. I swear on my daughter…you know I wouldn't do that if I wasn't telling the truth. I haven't had sex with with Dylan in five years. I have never thought about him during any of our time together like that…except…"

"Last night." He finishes her sentence.

"It was only..only for like one second." She says honestly stuttering, "I was looking at you, I was feeling you. I was making love to you."

Jax looks down again. Brenda takes a step towards him, "Jax." She whisper cries, "I love you. I'm in love with you. Please believe me." He looks up to see her standing right in front of him. His eyes searching hers for any truth to anything that's coming out of her mouth. His heart pushes him forward as his hands grip her face hard as he forces her lips to his. He kisses her urgently needing some sort of proof that this isn't bullshit. That the feelings she has for him isn't a lie. His tongue plunges into her mouth roughly as Brenda moans out. He grabs her ass forcefully lifting her so her legs can wrap around his center, he moves quickly and she hits the wall hard with fevering passion. He presses his center into hers, a gasp of breath is heard loud in the echo of the kitchen as they catch their breathes. Then their lips are fused together once again. He kisses her franticly lowering her so her feet touch the floor and before she can even wonder why her yoga pants are being shoved down her legs. She steps out of them frantically watching him shove his sweats down too. He grabs her again, hoisting her around his hips. Without protection, he slams her down on him as they both cry out loudly. He stills, they stare at each other, chests heaving in huge breaths. His eyes stare into hers, the feeling of her warmth bare around him. He pulls her up, slamming himself inside her again as Brenda cries out ion pleasure. He shakes his head lifting her like she is weightless in his arms and pulling out of her.

His hand comes over his mouth. "I can't" he whispers. Backing from her.

"I…I can get a condom." Her voice barely audible.

He looks at her, "It's not about a fucking condom Brenda." He sobs out, "I can't fuck him out of your head. And I shouldn't have too." He grabs his sweats off the floor, putting them on with a hell of a lot less rushed then when he took them off. "I can't do this anymore. You need to go…go back to LA." He wipes his face quickly.

Brenda swallows hard, "You want…me to leave? What about your fam..?"

Jax shakes his head cutting her off, "I'll tell them you had an family emergency back home." He doesn't want to talk about this with his family anyway.

"Jax." Brenda breaths.

"Brenda…I…I can't…be with you right now, I can barely look at you. Go home. Figure out what the fuck you want." He picks up her yoga pants off the ground tossing them to her. She catches them against her stomach, tears flowing freely down her face. She steps into them quickly. She stares at him hurt knowing she deserves his coldness. She goes to leave the kitchen to pack up her things.

"Brenda?" He stops her. He shakes his head not being able to finish. He wants to change his mind and forget this ever happened. He doesn't want her to go and he sure as hell doesn't want to lose her but he knows…deep in his heart he has too. He has to let her figure this out. Without interference, without pressure. "I'll be here when you figure it out." He says simply. Finally his eyes meet hers.

She breathes out the breath she has been holding and she nods knowing that this is for her own good, for his own good. She turns to go pack her things as he whispers, "I...love you."

She stops abruptly, "I love you too." She says before ascending the stairs to pack up.

"You have to have a flight at sometime leaving Phoenix to Los Angeles." Brenda begs the airline desk.

"Ma'am I told you, everything is booked up. This is a very popular connecting flight." She types into the computer loudly, "I could get you a possible standby flight? If someone cancels out doesn't show. But tomorrow night for sure?"

Brenda growls, "Fine…book it." She says setting her credit card on the counter, "and put me on standby." The woman nods and does her job.

Brenda rolls her suitcase to a bunch of empty seats. She knows she is in for a long night. Waiting around all day in case someone doesn't show and through tomorrow for sure at the worst. She thinks about Jax. The pain in his face, the tears in her eyes and she pushes it away not wanting to cry in the airport. Her cell rings as she pulls it from her purse quickly. Maybe Jax was checking on her? Changing his mind? She sadly smiles when she sees a picture of Dylan and Olivia cheek to cheek.

"Hello?" She answers knowing it's her daughter.

"Hi mommy!"Brenda breaks down, her eyes closing as she sobs out.

"Hi baby." Her voice is music to her ears.

"Mommy…what's wrong, are you crying?" She is about to tell her she is just happy to hear her voice when the phone makes muffled sounds changing ownership.

"Bren?" Dylan is on the line. "Brenda?" His voice panicked

"Dylan." She cries harder.

"Where are you? What happened? Brenda are you okay?" Dylan gets up away from Olivia and goes into the kitchen.

"I'm…at the airport." She sobs, "In Phoenix."

"Why?" Anger runs over his body, "Did he do something to you?" He says loudly, protectively. "I'll fucking kill him."

"No." She wails. "It's me…I did it."

"Brenda" his voice breaking, "Come home…come home baby." The sound of her cries breaking his heart. He swallows trying to keep his own tears at bay from just hearing her so upset.

"I can't…I'm sitting here at the airport on standby. I couldn't change my flight until tomorrow night. I'm just gonna sleep here I guess and wait to see if anything comes up." She wipes her face trying to calm herself down.

"I can be there in 5 1/2 hours Bren. Sit tight and charge your phone. I'll text you when I'm close."

"No…Dylan…you don't have to do that. What about Olivia?"

"Olivia can stay with Brandon and Kelly or Iris. Don't worry about that. I'll be there Bren. I'm leaving in a few."

Brenda cries harder touched. "Brenda…I'm coming." He says sternly.

She nods even though he can't see as she presses end on her cell. Taking a big breath she wipes her face. Getting comfortable wondering what she can do to pass time for the next 5 hours.

Time went by like a snail race but soon Dylan had texted her saying he was 10 minutes out. He had made the drive rather quickly in a little over 5 hours. She waited by the curb and noticed Dylan's car pull beside her. He got out meeting her at the trunk opening it up, taking her bag from him and placing it inside. He shut the trunk door and looks at her. His hand coming up to her face cupping it her cheek sweetly.

"Thanks for coming to get me." She said sadly and moves out from him to walk to the passenger side.

Dylan gets in, silence reigning the small space. "You want to talk about it?" He pulls out in search of the 10 freeway.

"No." Her phone chips in her hand. Dylan looks down at it then his eyes find the road again. She opens up the text message. It's from Jax.

 _You get off okay?_

She simply texts back

 _Yes_

She hits her phone to off and puts it back in his bag. She sighs loudly. "He hates me and yet he still checks on me." She shakes her head.

Dylan smirks, "Come on…I'm sure he doesn't hate you. You guys have a fight?" Yes he is being nosy…no he doesn't care.

Brenda looks out the window, "You can say that."

Dylan laughs out loud and Brenda looks at him like he's insane. "I was just remembering the last time I had to come pick you up after you got in a fight with your boyfriend." He chuckles again.

Brenda rolls her eyes, "Yeah lets talk about that time when you uncomfortably denied my subtle advances."

Dylan pouts, "Oh come on. It's funny right? I mean if I can't rescue you…who can?" He repeats his line from then.

"Good question." She says just like she did all those years ago.

Silence fills the car. "You know that I wasn't denying your advances right?"

She looks at him, raising her eyebrows. "I told you I was still in love with you and you looked like you wanted to jump onto the freeway into oncoming traffic."

Dylan smiled, "That is not true."

"That is most definitely true." She shakes her head.

"If I remember correctly, I was actually about to say, It wasn't that I don't love you."

"Right…you just weren't IN love with me. I get it."

"You didn't let me finish. I was surprised. You had seemed so over me and into Stuart. I mean you were going to marry him. I just thought you were saying it because you were sad, I was going to say its not that I don't love you, I just thought you weren't thinking straight in that moment."

Brenda laughs and snorts from being overly tried, "Nice try."

Dylan smirks and rolls his eyes. "Brenda do you think that if I didn't love you, I would have driven to Palm Springs to get you? Do you think that if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have came over to visit you and talk to you about my problems or to listen to yours? Do you think that I would have went to 5 religious shops in downtown LA looking for a St. Genesis metal for your opening night? Or what about that stupid fucking rumor that Steve started about you sleeping with Roy Randolph that I was the first to debunk to everyone of our friends? Or the time when I almost kissed you and told you I still loved you in the kitchen at your parents house when you thanked me for that metal? Do you think I would have done any of those things if I didn't love you?"

Brenda looks over at him. Dylan's eyes meeting hers. "Things were complicated back then. I tried to get you back at the start of the year when we went fishing, but you denied me. How was I suppose to know, after you just had called off your engagement months before and still wore that ring that you were serious about me on that ride home?"

Brenda is quiet for a long time. "I think Jax broke up with me." She says quietly and starts to cry.

Dylan looks at her a little surprised. "Why?" His voice breaks.

Brenda shakes her head, "I'm not going to tell you that." She says seriously.

Dylan swallows hard, his heart beating fast in his chest, "Is it because of me?" He says quietly.

Brenda looks at him, his eyes meeting hers. "Yes." She admits. Dylan looks back to the road. So many questions.

"Do you love him Bren?" Dylan asks as he hold his breath.

"Yes." She answers back honestly.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes…but if I could stop…I would." Brenda whispers as she looks out the window.

And just like that Dylan feels only what he assumes Brenda felt that night back in college driving home from Palm Springs that she did. Denied, emotional and feeling sorry for himself.

 _AWWWWWW okay okay. I know most of you may be happy with these turn of events but if I can just say…it KILLED me to do this to Jax. Like literally killed me and I feel bad cause I love him. I wish he was real and my boyfriend. LOL Brenda can have Dylan…I want Jax. Or maybe I just want Charlie Hunnam same difference. Well there it is people, 2 chapters in one day. You're so welcome! Have a Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate. Also the soulmate definition in the beginning of this chapter is totally stolen from Dawson's Creek. So lets give credit where credit it due. More to come soon!_


	30. Chapter 29

_A surprise update for you guys! Hope you have a safe and delicious holiday. Eat a lot drink a lot and have an amazing day! Please excuse the typos or lack of proofing. I tried to quickly and have stuff to do but thought it was important to post an update today. SOOOO SORRY ahead of time._

 _Chapter 29_

 _All Is Fair In Love And War_

Brenda and Dylan arrive back in Beverly Hills at 11 at night. Stupid LA traffic at the most random times. Brenda feels like a zombie, she can't even imagine how Dylan feels. He drove over 10 hours today and besides telling him thank you for the hundredth time she isn't sure how she could ever make it up to him. She also knows that he knows she would have done it for him in a heartbeat. Brenda walks past the living room, all she is wanting at the moment is a hot shower and her bed. Dylan had checked in with Kelly and Brandon during their drive. Kelly had said they had chowed down on pizza, watched Tangled and Olivia was already sleeping when they had checked in at about 8 o'clock. She felt Dylan's eyes on her. His concerned look, eyebrows furrowed together, he was worried about her.

"Can I make you something to eat or anything?"

Brenda shook her head, she had nothing to eat all day except a bag of chips in the airport but she wasn't hungry.

"I'm just going to bed." Brendas voice was dejected and quiet. All she saw before she climbed the stairs was Dylan nodding and a worried expression on his face.

Brenda let the hot water cascade down her frame. The water was almost painfully hot and it felt good against her tensed muscles. She tried to relax in the shower then she remembered Jax in this shower with her. She closed her eyes, remembering the way he took her, the pleasure he brought her. His strong hands on her every time they were alone together. She hadn't thought of Dylan then, she hadn't thought about Dylan anytime they were intimate. Why that night? Why when things were going so well with Jax did he come into her mind? She hadn't even known she did it. How fucked up is that? She put herself in his shoes. Making love and then hearing the one name that has brought their relationship so much grief. She pictured her and Dylan in London. Crazy about each other, all over each other, the raw passion they had for one another. She could see it, having sex with him, moaning, enjoying each other, then having an orgasm only to have Dylan moan Kelly's name at his release. Her hand came to her stomach. Physically sick from imagining it. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears burned behind them. Jax had been wonderful with her, understanding and patient. He never showed the frustration of having Dylan in her life even though she knew it bugged him to some degree. She hung her head and let the tears free. She broke his heart and in return it broke hers.

Dylan pushed her bedroom door open a little. He carried a steaming cup of tea in. She hadn't wanted anything but he thought maybe tea would relax her a little. He saw the bed empty and the bathroom door ajar. The sound of the shower was the only sound in the room. He walked in to leave the tea on her dresser when he heard sobs coming from the bathroom. His heart sank, as he set it down and went to the doorway his heartbreaking at the sight. Sure it wasn't appropriate but Dylan had known Brenda for so long. He had seen her naked more times than even possible to count. He had had his mouth and hands on every part of her. He had her entire body memorized. He stood in the doorway.

"Brenda…are you okay?" He said to her. She had her head resting on the tile as she cried. She didn't respond. Dylan did the only thing he knew how. He reached behind at the base of his spine and pulled his t-shirt off over his head. He pushed his jeans off, socks and shoes left on the floor. He looked down at his boxers. He knew he should keep them on. This wasn't about sex or anything of that nature. He went to push them down and changed his mind keeping them in place. He padded across the bathroom. He reached for the shower door opening it and stepping into the shower. As soon as the shower door closed behind him she was in his arms. He held her against him, sobs wracking her whole body. Dylan stayed quiet, caressing her back, kissing her head. His heart was breaking. He never liked to see Brenda like this and she kept her emotions at bay most of the time. He thinks back to the first time they broke up, then the second when he literally had broke her. He hadn't ever remembered her being like this. She never showed him. Then he remembers how she was when he left London. She was like this…maybe worse. She begged him and sobbed telling him not to go. Then he realizes she is crying like this not for something he has done, this is over another guy.

After time Brenda's sobs died down and soon she slowly removes herself from his strong arms. She looks down at his wet briefs and breathes out a laugh. She is tired, delirious at this point.

Dylan looks down, "What?"

She looks at him on the eyes, a smirk on her lips, "Like I've never seen your dick before."

"True." Dylan is being serious even though the conversation is anything but. "I was trying to be respectful." He gives her a sexy smile.

She rolls her eyes, lathering soap on a washcloth. "Since when?" She runs the wash cloth over her abdomen and feels eyes on her. She looks up catching Dylan looking at her, "You can go now you know." Her voice playful.

His hand goes to his heart, "You wound me." She tries not to smile and shakes her head.

Dylan pushes down his wet boxer briefs and kicked them to the side.

Brenda's eyes widen, "What are you doing?"

He takes the wash cloth from her and starts washing his chest, "What does it look like I'm doing, I'm showering."

She moves her hands over her breasts, "Well now it's weird." She turns her body towards the wall. Dylan smacks her bare ass. The slap echoes in the stall and her butt stings, then as he rubs the sting away, it feels nice. She turns around, trying to keep one arm covering her breasts and a hand over her center.

"You were fine with me seeing you naked when I was comforting you." He smirks at her, "We're just two friends sharing a shower." He is smiling and washing himself. There's that line again, like the bed.

Brenda laughs, "Friends don't share a shower Dylan."

Dylan mocks offense, "Sure they do."

Brenda lets her arms drop purposely as Dylan's eyes run down her frame slowly. He bites his lip, then his eyes find hers again. Brenda smirks, "Do they have a boner when they do it too?" She looks at his hard member and back at him and raises his eyebrows.

Dylan shrugs, "Someone somewhere in the world is taking a shower with their friend right now, and they might have a boner." He says innocently.

Brenda rolls her eyes and moves to get out. Dylan's arms are around her, his naked body pressed to hers. His hard on pressed against her stomach as she exhales. "You are so beautiful, it's been a long time since I've seen you like this." He whispers. Her heart is beating rapidly in her chest. She visibly swallows hard and looks into his eyes. She moves by him, her whole body rubbing him as she does so getting out of the shower. Dylan doesn't say anything and she towels off. She sees him wash his hair and finish up.

When Dylan comes in, a towel around his waist and one toweling off his dripping hair he notices Brenda sitting on the floor in her robe holding her tea looking conflicted.

"What are you doing on the floor?" He asks curiously.

She looks up at him. "I forgot about Brandon and Kelly fucking in my bed, probably more than once." She looks like she's going to cry again.

Dylan laughs, a deep chuckle from his stomach, his shoulders shaking with laughter. Then Brenda joins in. He opens her top drawer grabbing the first panties he sees, then opening the second drawer pulling out his West Beverly Wild Cat shirt that lays folded on top. He reaches for her hand. Brenda takes it without a fight as he helps her off the floor. He leads her down the hallway to his bedroom.

After brushing her wet head, brushing her teeth and getting into Dylan's bed. She turns on her phone finally. Her phone alerts her with multiple texts. She sees they're from Jax.

 _Jax: Did you get home okay?_

 _Jax: Brenda?_

 _Jax: Please answer me…I'm worried._

 _Jax: Fuck…I shouldn't have let you leave by yourself._

 _Jax: Babe? Are you safe? Please answer me_

She stares down at the phone and takes a deep breath. She can feel his panic in reading his words. She types out a response.

 _Brenda: I turned off my phone earlier. Yes I'm home._

 _Jax: Okay_

That's his response. Then she watches the three little dots indicating he's typing. They go on for a minute as she waits in suspense then they stop. She types out what is in her heart.

 _Brenda: I'm sorry_

She watches the dots again, then disappear, she frowns. Her phone has turned dark waiting so long. Finally it dings.

 _Jax: Me too_

 _Brenda: I love you_

 _Jax: Are you at the hotel?_

Brenda squeezes her eyes shut. FUCK

 _Brenda: No…my house._

 _Jax: Good night Brenda_

Brenda closes her eyes again, a tear running down her cheek. Dylan comes out of his bathroom and walks towards the bed. He watches her set the phone on the end table as she wipes her face. He sits in the bed looking at her.

"What happened with Jax Bren?" She looks at him.

"I can't tell you." She answers simply.

"Bullshit Brenda…you said it was because of me, what happened? Did he get mad about your reaction to seeing me with Gina? My reaction to you?"

Brenda shook her head, "No. If he did he didn't say anything."

Dylan exhaled loudly frustrated. He knew it wasn't his business but it was bugging the shit out of him that he was so in the dark. Something had happened. "He broke up with you?"

Brenda shrugged, "Sort of."

He looked at her, "What does that even mean? What did he say?"

"He told me he couldn't do this anymore and to figure out what I want?"

Dylan's heart fluttered in is chest. He reaches for her. She pulls away laying on her side her back to him. He moves automatically and spoons her. His arms circling around her stomach tightly. He flattens his hand on her abdomen pulling her impossibly closer to him. His lips at her ear. She doesn't move away.

"Brenda." He breathes into it. "Baby…what's going on?"

It's quiet for a long pause. Finally Brenda speaks out, "He wants me to choose between you. He wants me to figure out what I want." She whispers into the dark.

Dylans eyes close as he breathes out and squeezes her. The hole in his heart squeezes shut. All of this like deja vu, except its not him making the decision. It's not him having to choose between his high school girlfriend and her best friend. This is her choice now. And he prays to god she doesn't make the wrong decision like he did.

Jax sits outside staring into the fire. The flames lick at each other fiercely. He looks at his phone again. Reading the response over again. She is at his house. Dylan's house. Her house not the hotel she's been staying at for a week. She was suppose to move out. After this weekend she was going to look for a place of her own. Will she still do so?

"Will you stop looking at that phone." Jules sips her cocktail looking at her brother.

He sets it down and takes a deep breath.

"She didn't have a family emergency did she?" She asked already knowing the answer. She knows her brother better than that. He would have left with her.

"No." He says simply.

She sighs, "Jaxson you are so head over heels for this girl." She shakes her head. "You open your heart too easily."

Jax looks at her offended, "I do not. I haven't even had a serious girlfriend since Amy."

Jules gags, "Wait…did she leave because of Amy? What was with her anyway."

"No fucking idea."

Jules smiles, "I like her a lot."

Jax looks at his sister, "Me too."

She sets down her drink, "Whats going on?"

"It's complicated and her fucking ex is always around."

"So? Your fucking ex is always around too."

Jax looks at her like she is not funny, its not the same thing. Jules laughs at herself. Jax is quiet.

"I broke up with her."

"You WHAT?" She says to loudly. She covers her mouth knowing that tJake's kids are asleep and the only reason she was staying there was because she knew Jax needed her, even if he didn't ask for it. "Why the fuck would you do that?" She whispers harshly.

"Because…she still loves him and I can't do this anymore."

Jules hakes her head. She leans back taking a sip of her drink.

"What Jules, stop judging me and just spit it out."

"You're a coward." She shrugs. "You're in love with her and you already are giving up on her."

Jax throws his arms out, "What am I suppose to do? She lives at his fucking house."

"She lived at his house when you starting seeing her, that hasn't changed. You love her and she loves you."

"Maybe not enough." Jax says sadly. "How can I have her whole heart if part of it will always be his?"

"Love is risky Jax…it's consuming and glorious and sometimes it's agony."

"Yeah that helps." He sips his straight liquor he's been drinking to drown his sorrows.

Jules turns serious which isn't often, "All I'm saying Jax is giving up without a fight will surly push her back to him."

"I'm not going to pressure her into being with me Jules."

"Oh because you have up until now? Look Jax she may love him and maybe they're meant to be but you know she loves you too. Maybe she's scared. It took you how long to get over Amy and start talking to them again? Maybe her feelings are deep and it scares her because she never felt it before with anyone but him."

Jax looks at his sister with tears in his eyes, "What if I try and she chooses him?"

"What if she doesn't? And It's better to have loved and lost…then to have never loved at all. None of us thought you'd ever love again like you did before. And you did. So what? At least you know you tried. You gave it your all and you're heart is open to love again?"

Jax looks down contemplating what his sister says. "I'm gonna go to sleep." She gets up and wraps one arm around her brother. "I love you little brother." Jax rubs her back.

"I love you too sis." He says quietly and watches her move inside the house.

He looks down at his phone. The whiskey making him emotional yet brave and open. He debates sending her a text. It's almost 3 in the morning. He doesn't knowing that he has a decision to make. He can try, show her how much she means to him and not give up. Or he can hang back, let her come to him. He doesn't know which approach to take but what he does know is that he does still love her and he doesn't want to just give up.

Brenda moves in her sleep waking up a little. She feels Dylans arms around her tightly. His quiet breaths against the back of her neck. She presses her back end into Dylan's front as he tightens his hold around her. His breathing is even, thinking he is still asleep she turns gently so she can see him. He isn't sleeping at all, he is staring at her, his eyes on hers intensely.

"I thought you were asleep." She whispers.

He shakes his head keeping his stare. His eyes glance down at her lips then back into her eyes. Her stomach flips with anticipation. Being this close to Dylan awoke ever nerve ending in her body. Something was different n his expression.

"I never thought I'd have to fight for you. I know that sounds egotistical but it's true. Jax wants you to figure things out and choose. I just want to be able to show you. To have the right to fight back…to fight for what's mine." He breathes out.

"I'm not yours." The denial comes out as a whisper, a silly little breathless lie.

"Yes you are." Dylan says forcefully. "You always will be. And I think I'm done playing nice about it." Dylan thought about Jax. How he had had his girl for almost 2 months.

Dylan didn't give her a choice or bother stopping to evaluate where this fits into his master plan to get Brenda back. His lips just force their way into hers, rebranding the skin that used to hold his mark. It was harsher than he'd intended, but the jealousy burned a toxic path through him. Dylan had to wipe away the last inch of that guys kiss and words with the taste of her mouth.

Prickly sparks shot up his spine as she breathed out turned on. His cock went from slightly pissed off to diamond hard at the thought of her. His dick didn't want to hear his head whine any more about being patient. He'd waited five long years for this, and she tasted too much like sweet memories and promise to turn back now.

Dylan's hand tangled up into her hair. Turning her so he had a better angle to suck on her bottom lip. He knew he should stop, He knew it. But greed wouldn't let him. Neither would her low needy whimper. It gave him the perfect opening.

His tongue plunged into her mouth, igniting every possessive nerve in his body. Both his hands slid down her hips till he cupped her ass and pulled her flush against him. She melted into him, the fight and resistance breaking away instantly.

"I hate that he's touched you. Fucking Hate it." He barely pulled back to murmur his angry words against her lips. "Fucking hated every second you were with him."

One of her hands threaded into his hair at the back of his neck, tugging him hard back towards her. He forced his tongue back inside her mouth, thrusting it in and out. Circling slow with hers. Withdrawing just enough so she'd feel it good when he drove back deeper, demonstrating what he really wanted to do to her. She gave as good as she got. Dylan didn't know how he ever expected this post Jax kiss to be some trophy her kiss. A sailor coming home to dip his girl over his arm. They never worked that way. They never kissed syrupy sweet on the front porch. Not from the very first time in front of his dad's suite where he enveloped her whole body and kissed her like his life depended on it. The first kiss was raw and intense and one of his favorite memories of her.

Kissing Brenda always felt like everything but the final act. Pulling closer, grabbing harder. Brutal, hungry lips. Biting. Hot, heavy breathing. Grinding, prating for pauses to catch a hold of a single breath. Her lips had always been a full fledged addiction all their own. With absolutely no tolerance, he should have prepared himself to get fucking stoned from the first hit of her newly single status.

She moaned against the continued onslaught. Her nipples in his worn PE shirt pebbled against his chest, coaxing him to dig his fingertips harder into her ass. He nestled her fully against his tortured cock. That poor bastard had activated his homing beacon and was desperate to feel any part of her rubbing up against him. He wasn't going to feel ashamed for trying to frantically dry hump her.

"God. So. Fucking. Good." He groaned.

His teeth plucked against that pouty top lip. As he was about to lift one of her legs up against his hip, to give his shaft a better angle, her two fists loosened their death grip on his shirt. The reared back instead to push him away.

Getting the hint and drawing away, he looked down at her with hooded eyes. He watched in disbelief as her face morphed from sheer need to undoctored anger. Her mask of pride snapped fully back into place. It looks funny next to her tiny, swollen lips.

Her index finger jabbed into his chest, "You can't…we can't…do that again." She dragged the back of one hand across her mouth, like she naively believed it could wipe is away. "You can't just grab me and kiss me all neanderthal like and act like you have some stake of territory with me." She said out of breath.

"Neanderthal? Is that what you want to call what just happened here?"

She nodded but Dylan didn't miss the way her breath still caught in her chest. Dylan smirked knowing she was full of shit.

"Fine. Tell you what. I'll wait until your ready for this. I'll wait for you to come to me, is thats how you want to play it. I'll wait for you to beg even, if you want. But know this. I'm done playing nice Brenda. You never liked nice anyway. I think the times finally come for me to start reminding you. I already told you the next time I'm pushing inside you, that will it for us. I'll wait until it's the right time."

Brenda's shocks expression watches him move away from her. He faced the opposite direction like he was just going to try to go back to sleep as she stared at his back.

"I know in the past I didn't fight for you Brenda. I have every intention to now. He's had his chance to woo you…it's my turn now."

Brenda's heart beat wildly in her chest. She didn't comment back but the thought of it excited her more than she would let on. Dylan was done playing fair and nice that much was obvious. As her phone dinged on the bed table. She reached for it seeing it was a text from Jax. All it read was.

 _Jax: I'm not giving up on you._

Brenda swallowed hard. It seemed both guys were gearing up for war.

 _Happy Thanksgiving! Hit review my friends and show me some thanks and love! LOL Let the games of winning Brenda begin!_


	31. Authors Note 2

Hey guys!

I just wanted to wish you all a belated happy holidays. I know I have been lagging on my updates but I wanted everyone to know I have not forgotten about any of these ongoing fics and I fully intend to update sooner than later.

I just wanted to say right after Thanksgiving my cousin of 38 years old died of a spontaneous stroke. He was a relatively healthy guy not overweight just his premature time I guess. He was a cousin on my dad's side and a close friend. He also had been dating my good girlfriend as well for the last 10 years. The loss was a huge blow. When I wasn't working I stayed the night with my widowed (sort of), close friend, being there for her and her family and mourning my friend. 3 weeks later, another friend of mine and his girlfriend, also my good friend attended her company Christmas party. They enjoyed themselves and drank. He ended up having too much to drink passed out in an uber ride home and my girlfriend was unable to wake him. He wasn't breathing and was rushed to the ER. Come to find out. He had put a wad of chew/dip or chewing tobacco in his mouth passed out and actually choked on it. He was revived at the ER but was in a coma and on a ventilator. Much like Luke Perry he was deprived without oxygen to his brain for up to 45 min and was pronounced brain dead about 5 days into his hospitalization. He was a donor, so 68 people received his organs and he was pronounced dead right before Christmas. He was 35 years old. Would have been 36 yesterday. These two guys were in my close knit group of friends. They were close friends themselves the two of them. It's been a devastating loss for me and my close friends that I call family. So that is why I haven't been writing. It's been a very very tough couple of months. It's been awful. Crying and full depression. Shock and disbelief. Especially because after the first one passed away. The second one mourned him with me. All to soon after that happened to him. He and that family and group of friends didn't even make it to my cousins funeral because he was still fighting for his life in the hospital. Thats how close everything was thing wise.

That being said. Thank you all for being patient and wanting more and wanting an update. You guys are literally the best fanfic fans ever! Please know I appreciate you all and I have not forgotten about these stories. Just give me a little more time to get my shit together. Live each day like it may be your last. Life is so short. Tell the people you love how you feel about them and never take a day for granted. I love you BD fans. You make writing fun. You make me want too be better, do better and continue these stories. Stay tuned I have not forgotten you or the precious and best couple ever…Brenda and Dylan.

Love always,

DylanLovesBrenda


	32. Chapter 30

_FINALLY I know I know! Thanks for your patience. Its a hot one. Rated M. Oh and Happy Valentines Day! This is fitting!_

 _Chapter 30_

 _The Ranch_

Dylan heard Brenda run up the stairs in a rush to grab Olivia's forgotten sweater so she could leave to get to school. He took the 30 seconds he knew he had to approach Claire. She had been helping out here and there between classes as usual. He looked up the stairs making sure Brenda was out of sight.

"So you're okay with picking Olivia up from school today and keeping her for the day?" He spoke quietly.

Claire smiled, "I told you I got this." She brought her voice down a little, "Where are you taking her?"

Dylan smiled and shook his head. He was about to give her some information but instead Brenda trotted down the stairs with Olivia's sweater in tow. "Here you go sweetie." Brenda said in a rushed breath. She knelt down and helped her daughters little arms through the sweater. She kissed her, "Have a good day." She smiled at her. Claire winked at Dylan before grabbing her hand and leading Olivia towards the door.

"Bye guys." Claire called out, a small sense of knowing behind her voice.

"Bye baby girl." Dylan raised his with a small wave.

"Bye mommy bye daddy." Olivia called out before the front door closed.

Brenda took a deep breath moving towards the kitchen. Dylan watched her then silently followed.

The truth was things were beyond weird at the McKay residence lately. Since Brenda arrived home from Arizona things had been on and off. The first few nights she was still sleeping in his bed but since a few days prior that had changed. Brandon had purchased Brenda a new mattress as promised and that had put a damper on Dylan and Brenda's sleeping arrangements. Brandon had been staying with Kelly and unfortunately to Dylans dismay there wasn't an "excuse" for her to stay with him anymore. So the last three nights had been lonely. Dylan reached for her a couple times a night to find her side empty now. Brenda had been quiet too but Dylan was going to try to connect with her, hence the plan to have Olivia taken care of.

Dylan silently watched Brenda as she cleared breakfast dishes. "Will you go somewhere with me?"

Brenda washed a dish, "Where?" She didn't even look his way. Dylan was wondering if the last few nights was weighing on her too. She looked tired and emotionally drained.

Dylan walked towards her. He reached and shut the water off. Brenda finally looking up at him, "Dylan!" she said annoyed reaching for the faucet. His hand came over hers stilling it. Her eyes met his again.

"Will you go somewhere with me?" He repeated, standing close to her now.

Brenda turns towards him, setting down the dish in her hand, she dries her hands in silence setting down the towel on the counter, "Go where?" She said frustrated setting her hand on her hip, she wasn't herself, she hadn't been since Arizona. "I can't up and leave, I have to pick up Olivia from school. It's my day off Dylan, I have 100 errands to do."

Dylan reached for her hand, "Look Brenda, I know it's been a shitty week. Claire is picking up Olivia and taking her to her house after school. It's all settled. I want to show you something that I think you'll enjoy and I want to spend some time with you."

Brenda swallowed hard looking deeply into his eyes. "Ok." She nods, "I'll go somewhere with you." She gives in.

Dylan smiles squeezing her hand. "Go get ready. We have a little drive ahead of us."

Brenda smiles a little, a small huff of a laugh, a little sparkle of excitement in her eyes. "Where are you taking me?" Her tone teasing now.

Dylan chuckles, "It's a surprise." He leans in kissing her forehead as he walks away.

"Dylan?" Brenda whines, "A hint? I don't even know what to wear."

Dylan turns at the bottom of the stairs smiling at her, "Wear whatever you want." He stops, "On second thought wear jeans and closed toe shoes or boots would be better." He ascends the stairs leaving it at that.

Brenda huffs, what the hell kind of clue was that? That just confused her way more.

It isn't long before they are on the 405 freeway heading south. Brenda looks curiously at him, his eyes steadily on the road, "Please tell me you aren't taking me to Baja?" She jokes.

Dylan laughs out loud, "No we aren't going that far south. It's only about an hour and half drive."

Brenda looked out the window with a million places in her head on where they could be headed. Finally about twenty minutes off the freeway they had pulled into a dirt road. She looked at Dylan, He looked back at her and smiled.

"George Gordon Stables?" Brenda asked curiously as Dylan pulled into a makeshift parking spot.

He turned off the ignition and gave her a small shrug. "I thought maybe you'd want to go riding with me."

Brenda smiled, she loved horses and she loved to ride. She hadn't been on a horse in years. Probably since the last time her and Dylan took her cousin bobby horseback riding. She watched Dylan get out of the car, as she silently followed. They walked into the stables as Dylan headed for the last stall in the back. Brenda looked around.

"Aren't we suppose to sign a waiver or pay for the ride?" She looked at him curiously.

Dylan smiled and shook his head, "Nope." He unlatched the door.

Brenda looked left, then right nervously, "Dylan…we can't just ride someone's horses."

His smile widened as he ran his hand over the smooth, white and black tobiano pattern of the horses neck.

"Bren…meet Lord Byron." The horse neighed softly leaning into Dylan's touch. "Or Byron for short."

"Byron?" Brenda chucked then it dawned on her, _George Gordon Byron Stables_. "Do you own this horse?" Her eyes excited.

Dylan reached for her hand and pulled her gently out of the stall, "I own all of them. I own the ranch."

Brenda's mouth dropped as she turned in a full circle looking at the full stable. There were 6 horses. Each with a name plaque above each stall. Byron, Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Balzac, Dickerson. Brenda froze, "Mr. Pony?" She whispered.

Dylan stood closely behind her, his hands caressed up and down her arms softly. His lips came to her ear. "He's yours."

Brenda turned quickly to face him. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped, "Yo…you bought me a horse?"

Dylan laughed then nodded once, "I did…four years ago, recused actually. All of them were facing slaughter. Mostly retired racehorses. Except Mr. Pony. He's Dickerson's son. She was pregnant when I brought her here." Dylan shrugged shyly, "I guess…he reminded me of you. Gorgeous, brunette, strong…stubborn as all hell."

Brenda huffed out a small laugh then looked at Mr Pony again. He was a gorgeous bay color Quarter Horse with a white stripe down his face. "Oh Dylan." She whispered, she moved unlatching the stall door walking up to her horse. She ran her hand down the side of his face, her polished fingernails scratching a little as she did. Mr. Pony leaned into her touch. His tail swishing back and forth in his stall. He nuzzled her softly as Brenda smiled widened.

"Oh my god Dylan." Her fingers ran through his mane. "He's beautiful."

Dylan leaned in the frame of the stall door watching her. "You're beautiful." He stared in awe.

She looked at him with a small smile, then brought her attention back to the horse.

"Señor McKay?" A small hispanic man stood at the door of the stall now.

Dylan kicked off the wall where he was perched and turned to his ranch hand, "Juan, Como estas amigo?" He stuck out his hand to meet Juan's hand nicely.

"Estoy muy bien gracias." Dylan smiled and nodded.

"Juan…Esta es mi chica Brenda." Juan smiled at her. He took a few steps into the stall and out reached his hand.

"Gusto en conocerte Brenda." Brenda shook his hand.

"Um…thank you…er Gracias."

Juan held Brenda's hand and looked at Dylan with a smirk, "Tu novia es bonita."

Dylan nodded, "Sí mucho."

Juan bowed his head at Brenda finally letting her hand free and left them alone. Brenda looked at Dylan, She tilted her head. "Your girl? Your girlfriend?" She playfully rolled her eyes as Dylans mouth dropped. "Yeah I speak Spanish…I lived in Spain for a month."

Dylan laughed being caught. He had introduced Brenda to Juan as his girl. And Juan in reply told Dylan his girlfriend was pretty in which Dylan responded yes very much.

"Juan and his son Xavier run the ranch while I'm in LA. I try to come once a month to ride. It's been a while though." His eyes ran down Brenda's frame unintentionally. She looked like a country girl in this atmosphere. Tight skinny jeans and boots. She looked phenomenally sexy. He cleared his throat.

"You want help saddling him up?" He changed the subject. Petting Mr. Pony on the mussel.

Brenda shook her head, "I got it." Her voice thick with excitement.

Dylan smiled and left to prepare his horse for riding. Once both horses were suited up with their riding pads, saddle, girth and bridle. They both guided the horses into the warm sunlight.

Dylan moved towards Brenda to help her, but instead he watched in awe as she put the toe of her boot in the stirrup, reached one hand up to grab the horn, and heaved her opposite leg up and over. She shifted her weight a little getting comfortable. Brenda smirked when she saw Dylan's face, tossing her long chocolate locks behind her shoulder.

"What? It's like riding a horse." She smiled and Dylan laughed out loud. "He's four?" She took the reins in her hand and petted Mr. Pony. Dylan heaved himself up on to Byron much like Brenda did. Dylan nodded getting comfortable.

"Well…Mr. pony let's see what your made of." Brenda kicked gently into the horses side, flicked the reins and she was off. Mr. pony in full force into the California countryside.

Dylan laughed, "Wait up." He called after her, nudged his boots into the horse and off he went to catch up.

Brenda laughed as Dylan and her trotted along finally coming to a slow walk. Their horses walked side by side enjoying stretching their legs. They rode silence taking in the quiet of the country setting away from Beverly Hills. The sun was high, not a cloud in the sky as Brenda looked up to let the warm sunshine hit her face. Dylan watched her close her eyes and inhale a deep breath finding the peace and comfort he had always found when he visited his ranch. He wished he knew what she was thinking but didn't ask for fear of ruining her calm and silence. They came to a small creek where Dylan thought would be a good place to set up for lunch. Let the horses rest, eat and drink.

"Let's stop here." Dylan watched Brenda pull back lightly on the reigns. She watched Dylan swing his leg over and hop down off Byron. Bringing the reigns to the front of his mussel as he lead him over to a large tree. She did the same, petting and quietly whispering to her horse. When the horses were secured, they started grazing on the grass, and drinking from the creek. Dylan took a bag down from Byron's saddle Brenda hadn't even noticed was there. He lay down a blanket, bottles of water, sandwiches and grapes. He sat getting situated and Brenda smiled. He looked at her patting the space beside him. Brenda chuckled quietly and moved sitting next to him, wrapping her arms loosely around her knees.

"You feel better?" Dylan spoke quietly handing her a sandwich.

She smiled brightly and nodded, "This is amazing."

Dylan looked out across the creek, "I know." He breathed, "It's amazing how much calm an hour and half out of the city will give you."

Brenda chewed her bite of her sandwich turning towards him. "Why didn't you tell me you had this place, and why the hell don't you live here full time?" She joked.

Dylan laughed, "There is a small ranch hand cabin on the land but no house yet." He shrugged, "Maybe we can build one." He looked into her eyes. She smiled looking down into her sandwich again.

"We should not tell Olivia." Brenda got serious and shook her head.

Dylan smiled, "Why not?"

Her eyes met his, "Seriously…she is gonna tell everyone her daddy bought her a horse."

Dylan laughed out loud, "Rimbaud would be a great horse to learn to ride on. He's 10 and gentle as can be." Brenda looked at him disapproving. "She'd probably want to rename him though." Dylan said seriously, "To something like Tanya or Horsey or…"

"Mr. Pony?" Brenda said laughing.

Dylan joined her, "Yeah…totally." They chuckled a little letting the silence reign around them once more.

"Thank you Dylan." He looked at her. "I needed this. It's been a shitty week."

Dylan wrapped his arm securely around her shoulders bringing her into him. She cuddled close as he kissed her head. "I know it has. And…I've missed you in my bed." He said honestly.

Brenda looked up at him, his eyes piercing hers. She nodded once, "Yeah…yeah me too." She breathed. "We're insane." She whispered cuddling close to him again.

Dylan kissed her head, "No…were in love. No matter how many times you try to tell yourself otherwise."

Brenda leaned out surprised and looked at him. "I don't try to tell myself I'm not." Brenda got up with a small huff and walked a few feet toward the creek looking out of it. "I don't deny my feelings Dylan. I've never denied them. Not even when we were kids. You know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you. I'm just a fucking coward and I'm weak and sadly my memory is long." She said softly more to herself but Dylan heard.

He got up and walked behind her. His hands laying on the top of her arms. His lips pressed the back of her head. "You're the bravest woman I know." His hands caressed her gently, "You're forgiving, fun, smart as hell, talented, you're an amazing mother, and you know how fucking sexy you are." Dylan pressed his hard on into her ass to show just how much she effected him. Brenda chuckled, then closed her eyes relishing in the closeness. "I love you so much." He concluded.

Brenda nodded, staying quiet. "I know I hurt you. I wish I hadn't let you down." He turned her gently, wrapping his strong hands around her waist. She looked up at him. Doe like, her blue eyes bright and glistening with unshed tears. "Don't ever think you are weak. You are strong, but your fragile too. I never worry about you though. You're like a cat…you always land on your feet."

Brenda let her eyes wander over every inch of Dylans face, as if she was just noticing him for the first time. Even though that was far from the truth.

"I love the way you see me." She whispered, her hands resting on his chest.

Dylan swallowed hard, his heart picking up speed as she leaned in closer. Her hands fisted in his shirt, her eyes on his lips.

"I know you, every part of you. Even the parts you try to hide. I just see you with my eyes Bren."

"No." She argued, her lips centimeters from his, her sweet breath invading his senses. "No, you see me with your soul." She swallowed, eyes flicking to his before they fell back on his mouth. "And I feel you with mine."

Dylan's lips touched hers tentatively at first, feather light, each of them releasing a shaky anxious breath. They felt that tiny, almost nonexistent touch in every inch of their bodies. A wave of chills rushed through them, lips hovering, breaths hard and heavy with want…with need. Then Dylan's hands slid into her hair, and he pulled her into him, claiming her mouth like no other man had touched her.

Brenda moaned, melting into him as he deepened the kiss, his lips hard and hot on hers. Her hands twisted in his shirt before she let it go completely, sliding the warmth of her palms beneath the fabric and over his stomach. Dylan shivered at the touch, groaning against her kiss and pulling her even closer.

Kissing Brenda wasn't like kissing a normal girl. It was like kissing royalty, like kissing a goddess, like being hand picked by the heavens to surrender your heart forever in exchange for just one, tender, earth shattering moment.

Dylan surrenders to that moment, to that sacrifice, letting his hands roam her curves, his lips savoring the pressure of hers, his tongue tasting the sweet taste buds of her own. He pulls her closer, tugging, reaching. His hands grip her thighs hoisting her legs around his waist. He takes the few steps with ease and lays her down on the blanket. He hovers over her, kissing her like he's never kissed her before. The heat of her center, even covered in jeans rubbed against his hard on, he bites her bottom lip, sucking in a groan and releasing her mouth on a panting breath that felt like he had been sucked back down to earth and landed flat on his back. Her hands reaching for the button on his jeans.

"We can't." Dylan breathed, pressing his forehead against hers. Brenda's chest heaved, her hands still under his shirt, lips parted.

"What?" She breathed shakily. Shock written on her face.

Dylan swallowed, "Not like this." He clarified. He reached under his shirt for her hands, folding them in his and bringing her knuckles to his lips. "I have dreamed about making love to you again but not in a field. You aren't mine yet, I promised myself."

Brenda pulled her hands from his. Dylan knew the look well, it was rejection with a side of pissed off. She leaned on her elbows raising a little, "Fuck your promise Dylan, I want you."

Dylan leans back on his knees sitting up, "Yeah now…until later when you're talking to Jax on your phone." He hadn't meant the hardness and jealousy in his tone. His words made her flinch as if he slapped her.

"That's not fair." She whispered. "Today has nothing to do with him and you know it." Her voice raised. "Am I ready to be us again…no. But I do love you and had the best day with you. I've been trying so hard to figure this all out…just being with you." She sat up, her hand in her hair frustrated trying to find the right wording. "It's just been…amazing. I've tried to fight it, tried to convince myself it wasn't a good idea to go there with you. I just want you…now like this, it feels right."

Dylan searched her eyes, and when he found nothing but sincerity there, he didn't know if he wanted to jump and throw his fists in the air or curl into her and fucking sob. Because it did feel right. In that moment, it didn't matter that Jax and Brenda were still talking. That she wasn't ready to get back together with him. He knew. In that one moment, in her eyes, he saw what he always knew. She _was_ his. She had always been his. He dropped to his knees in front of her.

"I'm going to ask you once more to kiss me again, Dylan McKay, and I'm not going to ask twice.

Dylan's lips were on hers before she could even say the words. Brenda let herself feel. Feel what she had been pushing against for months. She hadn't realized how much a kiss could feel like a vacation. She didn't realize how much a person could feel like home.

"I've wanted you for so long." Dylan breathed against her lips, breaking contact just long enough to whisper the words before he claimed her mouth again. "And now, if we go here I don't think I'll ever be able to stop."

Every breath was a trembling, shallow sip of air. Brenda's body didn't know how to react with these new feelings. They had been close before. They had made out before. But this…this was a new feeling. A need and energy so thick it was overwhelming. Brenda's mind wandered. She hadn't meant to. She thought of Jax. His lips, his hands and it was nothing like this. Dylan's hands held her face bringing her back to him. Almost like he knew. He looked at her like she was a treasure he had hunted for his entire life and had finally found. He peppered her with kisses before holding her to him longer, slowing it all down, caressing her lips with a passionate, silky kiss. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth, tasting her, drawing her bottom lip between his teeth and releasing it with a groan that she felt all the way to her toes.

This wasn't a kiss. This was a dream, a fantasy and every part of her body surrendered to the impossible realism of it all. He was going to break her again. Or her him and she didn't fucking care.

His hands gripped the button of her jeans. He slid the zipper down in a slow dance that made Brenda gasp with need. His strong hands grabbed both sides, puling them forcibly, her lifting her butt to help him. He tossed them to the side, looking down at her lacy covered center. He licked his lips, anticipation running through his veins. He pressed his face into her and inhaled. Closing his eyes. Memories and heat surrounded him. He growled turned on.

"Please." Brenda breathed. The anticipation was killing her too. His finger traced her opening over her panties and Brenda moaned loudly. "Fuck." She hissed.

Dylan smiled liking her reaction. He lowered himself, his lips hovering over hers "I'm not fucking you here." He said stern now. He watched Brenda's face conform into disappointment. "But…I'm gonna make you cum so hard you'll forget your name."

Brenda smiled widened. "Thank fuck." She breathed relieved.

Dylan lips wandered like lost travelers over the hills and valleys of her rib cage, sliding down the middle of her abdomen, traipsing the freckles between her hips before he settled in between her thighs. His eyes were dark and hooded as he gazed up at her, and with that look of sin holding her captive, he pressed one feather light kiss to the wet center of her panties.

She moaned, back arching up off the ground as her fists twisted in the blanket. When he slipped his thumbs under the straps of her lace thong and slowly trailed it down her thighs, she couldn't help but watch, and she loved the way his eyes darkened even more when she was bare beneath him. The second Dylan had her panties off her ankles and dropped somewhere on the side of him, he dragged his tongue up the inside of each of her thighs, and then pressed that same brush of a kiss to the same spot. Except this time there was no lace between them. Every inch of her trembled at the warmth of that kiss, and even more so at the loss of it. Brenda gripped the blanket again, like it could ground her, like somehow it could steady her shaking nerves.

"You're trembling Bren." Dylan whispered against the spot he'd just kissed, his breath hot and wet and sending another wave of chills over her.

"I'm so nervous I feel like I could pass out." The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself from admitting it.

Dylan laughed, he leaned up to look into her eyes, "Why nervous? It's just me…it's just us."

"I know." Brenda smiles feeling only a little embarrassed by her admission. "It's just been…it's been 5 years since we were together like this. I've had a baby." She shrugs shyly, "things change…maybe…"

Dylan leans up and presses his lips to hers silencing her. "Shush. You're beautiful. Be quiet and let me eat you out." He smirks a sexy smirk only Dylan knows how to delver and Brenda laughs out loud.

"Do it already Dylan…you're driving me crazy." She lifts her middle into him causing him to chuckle.

"Patience baby." He whispers and lowers himself in between her legs again. He smiles and winks at her, without another tease or much as a warning his mouth is on her.

On her, as in, his lips surrounded her clit, his tongue tracing the sensitive bud in a circular rhythm before he drags it back and forth slow, in long rolls.

Brenda grips the blanket again, her entire body convulsing at the feel of his expert tongue. Memories surround her. Warmth, fire, pleasure. It's coming back like a freight train as she moans loudly.

"Yes." She chants. "Yes…yes…yes." He breathes. She couldn't wrap her head around anything he was doing, and as soon as she felt like she was used to the sensation, his tongue would start a new pattern, or he'd suck her clit between his lips or drag his tongue between her lips and dive inside of her before returning to her clit again. Every second was a new feeling but at the same time familiar and comforting.

He growled into her. The vibrations creating yet another new feeling. "God." She breathed, "I forgot how good you were at this."

Dylan chuckled but didn't stop devouring her. She didn't have time for another thought because in the next breath, he slid a finger inside of her, right up to his knuckle. She was so wet, so wet for him it slid in effortlessly yet she felt every inch of him stretching her open. Brenda gasped, head rolling into the blanket beneath her, "Fuck." She breathes.

She grabbed the blanket harder, she needed grounding, she needed something to keep her from flying out of the universe entirely at the feel of him inside her and sucking her at the same time.

After working her open he added a finger inside of her, his tongue rolling in a new way as he curled his fingers inside of her. She felt it building, like a slow, glowing ember that caught oxygen and exploded into flames with another flick of his tongue.

"Dylan," she moaned, heart racing, legs trembling, "Oh god. Dylan…Dylan." She felt like she screamed out. His hand gripped her ass, pulling her even more into him, the other working its magic inside her. And when he circled her clit faster, faster, giving her the friction she needed, she completely spiraled.

Fists into the blankets be damned. She flew into the atmosphere, every part of her alive and burning, stars invading her vision as she succumbed to the darkness and panted out each rolling, euphoric wave of her orgasms.

She was floating.

She was soaring.

She was nothing at all and everything she'd ever wanted to be.

Her heart was still racing in her chest, breaths loud and heavy in the space between them as Dylan climbed his way back up, trailing kisses along the way. When he settled between her numb legs, he smirked, brushing her wild hair away from her face and kissing her.

She tasted herself on him. It was sweet and tangy.

"Fuck that was hot." He breathed against her lips, "You are so fucking incredible. God I missed that so much." He admits.

"Dylan." She breathed back. At a loss for words. Wow she did forget her name and how to speak apparently. She threads her fingers into his hair and pulls his mouth to her own. She kisses him long and hard, feverishly like she needed it to take her next breath.

As the numbness fades in her limbs and the kisses slowed. Dylan rested his forehead against hers. His breaths as rushed as her own. In one swift motion Brenda pushes him down so he is flat on his back. Her leg moving to his hip straddling him quickly. She bends down and kisses him deeply. They smile against each other's lips.

"My turn." She said with a strong voice. Everything happening in a blur for Dylan until Brenda's hot little mouth encircles his cock, making him forgot his name as well.

 _So…these two. I hope you enjoyed this nice long chapter. I freaking owe you so much. I know it's been forever since I've updated and I knew I owed you something great. I hope you thought them fooling around was great. This story is going to take a surprise turn that I had always planned but wasn't sure how or when. I'm excited for you guys to see where I go with this. No Jax isn't gone and he's still a sweet guy and are things completely over with them, afraid not. But we get to see Brenda and Dylan now getting the physical side of their relationship back, and Jax showing it's more than that with his exchange with her. If you remember this was missing from Brenda and Dylan and the communication and other parts of the relationship was missing with Jax and Brenda. The roles are reversing a little but Dylan is NOT giving up on making Brenda his forever. I'm so sad about Shannen. It's unfathomable that we may lose her too. I pray for her daily and it makes writing a little more necessary at the moment._


	33. Chapter 31

_It's getting hot in here…so take off all your clothes. HAHA Rated M my lovies!_

 _Chapter 31_

 _Fuck Casablanca_

Brenda lay on her side on the couch flipping through the channels. Dylan was out with the gang celebrating because Janet had just received a promotion and Olivia was already fast asleep. They had invited her of course but after the day at the ranch, Brenda felt like maybe they needed a bit of space. Ok maybe it was her who needed the space from Dylan. Olivia was a likely excuse, no sitter. The feeling of being intimate with Dylan again had took over her whole being. The ranch…Mr. Pony…all the excitement…nostalgia…his kisses…his tongue…and simply him, was more than she could take. She came to a black and white movie and groaned.

"Fuck Casablanca." She mumbled. She was about to change the channel when a soft knock came from her front door. She sat up laying the remote on the coffee table looking curiously towards the door. _Who the hell could it be?_

Brenda got up and made her way to the door. She opened it cautiously and there stood Jax. Handsome, casual in a plain white t-shirt and jeans. They hung loose on his slim frame, his shirt tighter around his muscled arms. Brenda's eyes drank him in. She hadn't seen him since Arizona. They had talked regularly but she almost forgot how hot he was. She took a deep breath, her eyes meeting his. She was well aware she had on a pair of yoga pants and a tight tank top and no bra. She crossed her arms over her chest to try to hide the strain in her nipples from the light breeze that had cascaded in from the door being open.

"Is this okay?" He looked into her eyes. Truth…honesty and utter fear showed bright in his eyes.

Brenda gave him a nod, "Of course it is." She opened the door further, allowing him entrance. She cleared her throat as she closed the front door. "It's good to see you."

Jax nodded, he breathed out loud. This was too awkward. Too weird. He didn't want it to be. He looked over at her and smiled his adorable handsome smile. "It's good to see you too." He looked at her chest. "Your boobs are at least happy to see me." He joked.

Brenda flushed red and chuckled as she shook her head. "There is that smile." He tilted his head and looked at her as he closed the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. She responded by wrapping hers around his neck. They hugged tightly, adoringly.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her hair.

She pulled away to look at his face, "For what?"

He stepped away from her with a sigh, "For making you leave my brothers house. For being rude."

"You already apologized to me for that." Brenda stated.

"Not in person." He replied, a serious and sweet expression on his face.

"I'm sorry too…for…all of it." Brenda's face was serious. They stared at each other a beat to long before Jax looked into the living room.

"What cha doing?" He asked to break the ice a little.

She shook her head out of serious and began to walk into the living room. Jax following her. She sat on the couch reaching for the remote to turn off the TV. "I was just watching some TV."

"Casablanca." He sits next to her on the couch, noticing the movie.

"Casablanca sucks." She said without even thinking.

Jax's laughs, "What?" He chuckles, his eyes are wide, his lips curled into a smile. "Casablanca has to be the most popular choice for a favorite movie, when asked with that impossible question." He say playfully.

"It's not my favorite." Brenda responds seriously.

"That's actually surprising to me. You've always been one for the classics."

Brenda just shrugs not wanted to divulge why she can't stand this movie.

"Good." He leans closer, "Because it's total bullshit."

"Excuse me?" Brenda smiles.

Jax leans back into the couch now, gone is the awkward energy, "The whole thing is a parable how duty is more important than true love. Bullshit." He replies.

"It's World War II. Defeating the Nazis is more important that true love." Brenda states. No she isn't sticking up for this movie, she literally hates it. She imagines Dylan and Kelly, sitting closely watching it together. She pictures Dylan bringing out his charm and intelligence by telling her how amazing these old movies are, how romantic they are. She knew all about that move. This was the kind of stuff he did with her when they started dating. That made girls with half a brain swoon. No she didn't hate Casablanca because it was a bad movie. Jax was right it was a classic. Famously so. She hated this movie because of what it represented. It represented Dylan's betrayal. It represented Dylan's forte. Did Kelly think she was the only one who watched this movie with him? That it was their thing? Brenda would be the first to kick her off her high horse back then if she had known. She had seen this movie with Dylan years before he showed Kelly. But…they'll always have Paris right? _Fuck Casablanca._

"Nothing is more important than true love." Brenda comes back to Jax as he speaks answering her last comment.

"Not even World War II?" She smiles, teasingly.

"Not any war ever." He shakes his head. "You can't believe what Rick and Ilsa had was true love. They barely knew each other."

"Well…" Brenda was about to agree. But Jax kept talking.

"And he treats her like a child." Jax leans towards her, his fingertips brushing against her arm. "He's a fucking asshole actually. He chooses Ilsa's destiny for her, then scolds her for wanting to leave the husband she doesn't love like she's some amoral piece of shit."

Brenda is having fun with this conversation. "But he loves her enough to sacrifice his happiness for her."

Jax shakes his head, "No. He decides what the right thing is and he forces her to do it. That isn't love. That isn't even respect."

Wow…man he has a point. She wished Dylan was here to hear this. Brenda never could bring this movie up without a fight in the past. The supposedly beautiful thing about Casablanca is the way it ends, when Rick, Humphrey Bogarts character, tells his love interest, Ilsa, that she needs to stay with her husband because the "problems of the three little people don't add up to a hill of beans." He's telling her that her problems are irrelevant, that what she wants isn't as important as what he thinks is right. Like Kelly telling Dylan, he should stay with me because the problems of them being together are bigger than them coming out with their betrayal. I know it's not war…but fuck if it didn't feel like it back when she was 18.

"So Mr. Knows all." Brenda smiles playfully, "What is love then?"

"Victor Laszlo (Isla's husband) letting her choose if she wants to be with him or Rick, that's love.…that's sacrifice. That's giving up your happiness for the woman you love."

"Ilsa does end up with Victor." Brenda states, even though she hadn't ended up with Dylan back then and she isn't naive on the similarity of her predicament now either.

"Yes. But it's presented as this great tragedy. This bullshit about putting duty ahead of love." He holds her gaze. "But nothing is more important than love. Nothing."

Brenda swallows hard, the pull to be near him on alert. Jax breaks his intense stare then. He shrugs playfully. "You're right about one thing."

Brenda looks down with a smirk, "What's that?"

"Casablanca sucks." Brenda laughs out loud.

"Told you." She giggles.

He laughs with her and they settle into a comfortable quiet vibe as the movie plays. They watch the movie the two of them seem to despise in silence. As the credits roll Brenda turns to Jax. His kind eyes imploring hers.

"This was fun." She says with a smile.

Jax nods, "Yeah…thanks for letting me hang out. I just…missed you. I mean I missed spending time with you." He corrects himself.

Her hand comes out and rests over his, "I miss you too." She gives him a half smile to relax his slip of the tongue.

"I should go." He removes his hand from hers and rubs his thighs of his jeans nervously before standing up. Brenda follows leading him to the door. His fingers brush against her lower back. The same gentle buzz moves through her body. It's nothing like the electric current that comes with Dylan's touches but its pleasant and charged. She turns to say good bye. He's so close, close enough to grab her and press her against the wall. _Get a grip Brenda_ , she thinks to her self. That Ranch day and the sexual frustration she has been experiencing must be stroking her hormones so Brenda nods a goodbye and offers her hand. Jax ignores her hand and hugs her goodbye. It's a classic hug, tight, the kind of hug you give your best friend.

She can barely breathe, his scent encircling her. She tries to stay calm, to keep her raging hormones in check. He leans out from her and looks into her eyes. His smile is a bit sad as he leans in pressing his hot lips to her forehead. Brenda closes her eyes. He walks towards the door, Brenda's head turning to follow him.

He turns the knob, opening the front door, turning towards her as he gives her a genuine smile, "This was nice." His voice quiet, "Can we…maybe do it again sometime?"

Brenda grins, "Definitely." She nods.

"Night Bren." He says, his voice sexy and even.

"Night Jax." She takes a deep breath as the front door closes behind him. She closes her eyes she exhales. What the fuck is up with that stupid fucking movie? _Fuck Casablanca._ She shakes her head going back to her perch on the couch.

Jax walks to his car. He flips through his keys to find the right one to unlock his door as he hears a car door slam. He looks up and sees Dylan. His hands in his pocket as he approaches him. His car parked behind Jax's.

"What are you doing here?" Dylan's voice tense.

Jax shrugs coolly, "Hanging out with Bren."

They stare at each other and Dylan shakes his head. "Dick." He mumbles walking past him towards the house.

"Fuck you too Dylan." Jax says out loud with a smirk as he gets into his car and drives away.

Dylan makes his way into his home, anger radiating off himself. He stops and sees Brenda laying on the couch, flipping through the channels. She sits up and smiles. "Hey how was Janet's celebration?" She asks sweetly.

Dylan says nothing moving quickly. He can barely control himself as he sits on the couch, pulling her into his lap and pressing his lips into hers. All the tension in his body releases, and Brenda melts into him. She straddles him, the fabric of his jeans rubbing against her thin yoga pants. He feels so good under her, so good touching her.

Brenda isn't sure what the hell has come over him but in that moment she doesn't even care. Her brain doesn't understand the concept of the future, tomorrow. It quickly passes the reins to her body, and her body does not know or want anything but Dylan.

Dylan sucks on her upper lip, gently at first, than harder and harder. Their lips part and his tongue slips inside her mouth, swirling around with hers. A wave of heat spreads through her body. Every inch of him wants her and he wants it now. Promise forgotten. They aren't together, Jax can fuck off. Dylan and Brenda have everything. They have respect and friendship. They have a partnership in raising their daughter but they don't have this passionate sex life…not yet anyway. Not for 5 years to be exact. The ranch aside, this…this has been missing from their relationship.

Brenda pulls his shirt over his head and presses her fingers into his hard chest.

God his body feels even better than he looks. His back and chest are strong, and when she slides her fingers across them, he groans and bites her neck. His hands find her ass, pushing her crotch into his.

He's hard. Painfully so. Brenda thinks about seeing him again. Up close and personal at the Ranch. Her lips and tongue moving over his long thick member just like she remembered. Dylan may be skinny, less lanky than his teen self but his dick had always been big. Brenda hadn't even known in high school just how big until she started sleeping with other men years later.

Dylan slides his hands around the curves of her hips and waist, then along the neckline of her tank top. He traces it with his fingers, down and up and down and up again. His touch is so light she can barely feel it. Yet consuming at the same time.

Brenda squeezes her thighs around him, but he doesn't change his pace. Finally when she thinks she will explode if he doesn't touch her where she wants him too, he pushes the tank top out of the way. Under her breasts so she is on display.

Dylan takes a long look, his hands on her hips, his dick straining against his jeans.

"God…you're beautiful." He says and he strokes her breasts, his thumbs rubbing against her nipples. Pangs of pleasure shoot through her body, her sex screaming with desire.

She presses her mouth onto his, sucking hard on his lips. She grabs his hand, bringing it between her legs.

Dylan smirks, "Such impatience." His smile widening. He brushes his fingertips against the center of her yoga pants. She groans at the intimate touch. He presses harder, firmer over her pants. His lips against hers, "Tell me what you want." He breathes.

"Fuck me. Dylan…please." I beg, her voice needy.

"We aren't even close to ready for that yet." He informs her, a wicked glint in his eyes.

He lifts her effortlessly, laying her on her back. He peels the yoga pants down her thighs, tossing him carelessly to the floor. He moves over her, His lips kissing her, hard, his fingertips flirting with the edge of her panties.

"God." Brenda breathes. She tries to remember if it was always like this. It was but the time apart has made it more needy, more urgent.

Dylan presses his lips to her neck. A soft kiss, then harder. His lips press into her shoulder. Harder. His lips press into her collarbone. Harder. His lips close around her nipple.

"Fuck." She groans and arches her body into his. Her hands digging into his hair.

His tongue feels soft and wet as it swirls around. Then his teeth, she jumps from the pain as he bites it gently. It's a cross between pain and pleasure and makes Brenda moan loudly.

He slides his fingers up her thighs again. But this time, he strokes over her panties. Pressing the smooth fabric into her sex.

She is ready for him, desperate for him. He is torturing her. She isn't sure why. He was the one that came in here all horny, aggressive and cave man like. He has barely said more than two words to her since he walked through the door.

His fingers slip into her panties and finally she feels them against her bare skin.

"God, you're so wet." He mutters.

"Don't make me beg." Brenda whispers.

"I told you I would." His eyes playful and sinful.

Brenda's face must mirror her true feeling, disappointed, maybe frustrated is better. He stops touching her, his eyes burning with desire but careful. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No…I want you to fuck me." She says like it's obvious.

"Soon." He promises.

Dylan pins her to the couch and his lips trail down her body, kissing and sucking and nibbling. He lifts her ass, pulling her panties down to her knees and then off her feet. He pushes her legs apart, pinning her knees to the couch.

He nibbles her thigh, higher…and higher, his tongue slides over her clit and her body screams with pleasure. He presses his lips around her clit, sucking it gently. His tongue feels warm and soft and familiar again. She moans and tugs on his hair. His eyes, those goddamn brown eyes, fiery and intense, lock with hers and he smiles. Then he is back to his task, his task of lavishing her sex with attention. Brenda is so wet, and so close and even though she doesn't want to end this way, she wants all of him this time but she does nothing but absorb the sensations, the pressure in her center of his soft wet tongue.

Dylan moves faster, pinning her knees to the couch again. She feels his tongue, sliding around the edges, sucking on her lips. She feels his fingertips sliding up and down her thighs as his tongue makes his way around her. Back to the bud, as he presses fast firm circles into it. The tension inside her builds, harder and deeper as she gets closer with every lap. She starts to shake, she is so close to the edge and then he pulls back and Brenda is sure she is going to collapse. She reaches for him nails scratching his back and then she feels his tongue on her again. God he is driving her crazy. He gets her close so close again and stops.

"Damn it Dylan." Brenda says almost angry. Is this payback? Is this punishment for Jax?

"Tell me Bren what you want." He stands and looks down at her. Brenda pants staring at him, he smirks, "I can wait."

Brenda shakes her head vigorously, "No, no, no. No more waiting. I want you inside me now."

A groan escapes Dylan's lips, "Say it again."

"I want you inside me." Brenda repeats.

He moves faster now, shoving his jeans and boxers off his lean hips. A small giggle escaping Brenda's lips. He is over her in an instant and it doesn't seem so funny anymore. He kisses her, feverishly yet loving, affectionate, adoring. He reaches down grabbing his thick member rubbing her center with it wetting himself with her. Then without even a warning, he slides into her. Dylan's eyes go wide as she takes him in, like he can't believe it has finally happened. He groans loudly and presses his lips her hers again.

"Fuck." He hisses. And Brenda moans loudly. She brings her hands to his shoulders, then they slide tightly around his neck. Dylan thrusts slowly, sliding into her fully, then back to his tip, just to feel him enter her again. Dylan groans and digs his fingers into her skin but keeps the pace. He holds her tightly, kissing her neck, running his tongue up to her earlobe. "Baby." He breathes. It's intimate and needy and sexy. He rocks into her, filling her farther with every thrust. Brenda loses her self in the feeling. Her body pulsing with pleasure. No flooding with it.

Dylan shudders and Brenda knows he's close, she's close too. They've wanted it for too long. Dylan stops, his cock filling her as he kisses her softly. His lips suck on her lips, his teeth scraping against them gently. He stays inside of her still, lowering his head to her chest. He sucks on her nipples until Brenda pants. She brings her center against his, hinting to move again. He leans up a little. Looking into her soul. Suddenly he wraps his arms around her back, lifting her off the couch. Staying inside her as he lays her on the floor.

"Maybe I should carry you to my bed?" He says quietly. Knowing the couch is awkward to move, even though you couldn't tell by watching them before.

Her hands cup his cheeks, "No please. Too far." She presses her lips to his firmly. Dylan smiles against them. He leans his face to look at her. His hand moving her hair away from her face. His eyes staring into hers.

"I've dreamed about you. Ive been dreaming about you for five years." He says so honest Brenda swallows hard. "You feel just as amazing as you did all those years ago. Maybe better." He admits. Brenda reaches down and grabs his ass pulling him deeper, savoring the feeling of him inside of her again. He rocks his body into hers. Thrusting slow, powerfully and deep into her.

"Harder." She moans.

He squeezes her tighter, thrusting into her again and again and again.

She matches his movements to his, her hips rocking to meet him, to push him deeper inside of her. To hold him inside her for longer.

The tension builds, again and it hits her quickly this time. She clenches as he moves earning a low guttural groan from Dylan. His movements grow frenzied, She rocks her pelvis into him quicker, deeper.

Harder.

Faster.

Dylan matches her movements, his cock slamming into her now. She digs her nails into his back.

Almost. So close.

She feels all his skin on hers, his chest on her chest, his arms around her tightly. Their bodies pressed so tightly together sweat forms between them. They are hot, sticky and lovely compressed as one it almost seems.

"Come for me baby." Dylan pumps harder. His eyes on hers. Then all the tension releases as she does just that hard against him. She is holding on to him so hard she is scared she is drawing blood. The pleasure is more intense than anything she has experienced in her entire life and it feels like it isn't stopping soon. She knows she is moaning loudly, uncaring about anything but riding this out. The look on Dylan's face is magic. Some kind of lust and need she hasn't seen in forever.

He groans and shudders and Brenda breathes into his ear. "Come with me." Her orgasm showing no sign of ending. His teeth find her neck and he bites hard, then sucks. The pain and pleasure overwhelming. Brenda is sure he will leave a mark but doesn't even care.

He holds her tightly as he launches into the final thrusts, hard and fast and deep.

"Fuuuuuuck." He groans it out loudly and long as he comes, Brenda's orgasm spiking to the top again. His entire body clenching with the force of it as he spills into her.

He stays on top of her for a while after he finishes. Catching his breath, his arms around her, his breath on her neck. Eventually, he shifts, moving away and instantly Brenda feels the loss. He collapses next to her, pulling her body into his. She slides her head into the crook of his neck and he kisses her cheek.

"Should we talk about this?" Brenda whispers coming back to reality.

"Yes." He sighs, "But not now."

"So I guess the party tonight was fun?" Brenda can't help but talk anyway.

"It was alright. Why was Jax here?" Ahhh now it all making sense. His claim on her as he came in.

"He came to hang out. We watched a movie and then he left." Brenda says honestly.

"What movie?"

Brenda smirks, _here we go_ , "Casablanca." Dylan stills, freezes. Silence surrounds the living room. Brenda looks up at him his eyes slowly meeting hers.

"You hate that movie." He says quietly.

"He does too." She keeps his eyes in hers.

He groans and shakes his head, "Well…that's interesting isn't it."

"Is it?" Brenda plays coy.

He growls possessively and moves so his face is in front of hers. "Fuck Casablanca." He spats, his hot breath moves across her lips.

"Exactly." She snaps back before Dylan's lips crash with hers again. He laces his fingers with hers. His tongue mixing with hers eagerly. Kissing her harder, possessively. Brenda grabs his face, passionately deepening the already hard kiss, "Fuck Casablanca." She repeats. Yeah Brenda could be just as possessive as he is. That fucking movie and that fucking summer. As she moves over him, straddling his hips she knows this is happening again…but this time she is in control. It's her turn to act like a jealous caveman.

 _*Hides out and peaks at you* Hit review my loves. God it's hot in here. *fans herself* Oh and FUCK CASABLANCA!_


	34. Chapter 32

_Thank you for the reviews. I know all of you are relieved at this sudden (not so sudden) intimate reunion between these two but you also have a lot of questions. So I mentioned a couple chapters ago that things were gonna change a bit. Roles were going to be reversed. Jax was going to be more of a friendly support and Dylan was going to be the one sexing her up. Don't worry Dylan will still be loving and supportive, they will just have an added complication (or not complication). I'm not gonna say much else but It's gonna get good now. Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 32_

 _Branded His_

Dylan carried Olivia into the kitchen. He sees Brenda making breakfast. He stares at the back of her remembering the night before. That primal need to make her his after seeing Jax so comfortably leaving their home. The sex downstairs on the floor and couch, twice. The sleeping next to each other only to find her side empty in the morning.

"Morning mama." Olivia sang out cheerfully as Dylan sat her in a chair at the kitchen table.

Brenda put on her best smile and turned, "Morning baby…pancakes?" She lifts the plate and walks it over to her, setting it in front of her.

"Mmmmm." Olivia chews appreciative after taking a big sticky bite.

She looks at Dylan a slight awkward energy in the air. His eyes staring into hers. She turns to pour coffee for herself to get away from his demanding eyes.

"Hey." Claire sings as she enters the kitchen. "You almost ready to get dressed nugget?" She sets her hand gently on Olivia's head as Olivia chews quickly with a nod. She looks around at the silent energy ,"Um…morning?" She didn't mean for it to come out like a question but the tension is thick in the kitchen, and its not the normal sexual tension Claire is used too.

Dylan takes a deep breath, "Morning Claire." He gets up, "Come on Olivia let's get you ready for school real quick. I bet if I count to 20 you can finish that fast." Olivia gets up with a smile. She takes her dads hand pulling him from the kitchen and up the stairs.

Claire watches until they're out of sight. She stares at Brenda, the wheels in her mind turning and turning, around and around. And then she gasps.

"Oh…MY…GOD!" She shrieks.

"What?" Brenda eyes her over her coffee mug.

She takes a few steps towards the counter, "You shagged Dylan."

"Wh…what?"

"Oh my god this is major!" Claire exaggerates.

"I don't know what your talking about." Brenda plays dumb.

"It's written all over your face…and his for that matter. Every time I'm in the same room with you guys, I get hot from the sexual tension and this morning." She snaps her fingers, "Totally gone…now just morning after awkward." She leans on the counter. "Tell me bloody everything."

Brenda blushes 5 shades of red, and Claire laughs out loud, "Oh my god…look at you…this is unbelievable, When…how…where…did this happen?"

Brenda sets her coffee down and moves closer to her, "Will you keep your voice down." She shushes her.

Claire closes her mouth pretending to zip it. Her eyes widen, her head tilts and her expression screams _give me something_.

Brenda sighs and looks towards the stairs before meeting Claires excited eyes, "Last night…Dylan and I had sex." She says rushed. Claire squeals, "Twice." Brenda concludes.

Claire jumps up and down clapping. "What does it mean? Are you guys back together?" She presses her palms together like she is praying.

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it."

"Well…do you want too?"

At that moment Olivia comes barreling down the stairs, "Claire and Mama I got ready in 18 seconds." She says victoriously. The girls clapping for a dramatic effect. Dylan following behind her with a smirk.

"Call me later." She tells Brenda quietly and receives a nod.

Silence fills the kitchen as Brenda turns her back to Dylan, pouring him a cup of coffee. He sits on the counter as she sets it in front of him.

"We need to talk about last night."

Dylan sips his coffee and shakes his head, "We really don't."

Brenda's eyes widen, "We don't?"

"We had sex…good sex for that matter…no biggie." He acts nonchalant.

"Excuse me?" Brenda is half crushed and half pissed.

Dylan clears his throat, "I mean…we don't have to have some big talk about what it means. It happened, it was great. I'm hoping we can do it again sometime." He smiles.

"Are you fucking serious?" She raises her voice. Fuck the crushed she is pissed. "You don't want to have…some big talk?" She is shocked. "It just happened?" Okay here comes the crushed part again. "You're an asshole!" Brenda yells.

"I'm an asshole!" Dylan gets up and moves to the side of the counter Brenda is on, "I'm an asshole? Because I don't want to be rejected again. So you can tell me what a mistake last night was, how you aren't ready for us to be us again? I can't do it Brenda…I can't keep having the same conversation over and over again." Dylan exhales looking down, "It hurts too much." His eyes lift to hers. A vulnerability in his eyes she hadn't seen in a long time.

Brenda looks deeply into his eyes, "I wasn't going to say it was a mistake." Her voice quiet and hurt. "I wasn't going to reject you."

"You weren't?" Dylan swallows hard staring into her eyes as they face each other.

"Dylan…I know things are messy. We've both made mistakes in our relationship…but last night was not one of them. It was wonderful…and I don't know what it means yet. Can't we just be ourselves and see where it leads." She says honestly. "I don't want to stop this new connection, I just need a little time to process it."

Dylan's face softens and a smile spreads across his handsome face until his body is only a few inches from hers. Brenda moves backwards, her ass hits the kitchen island. Dylan is so close, she can feel the heat of his body, hear his breath. Her heart pounds against her chest. Her skin tingles from the anticipation.

"You want to continue to sleep with me and not be with me?" He whispers his eyes intense.

"No…I mean…I don't know. No…I don't know…" Dylan presses his lips against hers. His hands grab her hips, he kisses her again. He kisses her making her knees weak and then pulls away slightly. "Ok we _do_ need to talk."

Brenda stares surprised, "You…you said you didn't want to talk."

"I didn't have anything to say before but now I do." Brenda braces herself for the worst. He wants all or nothing.

Instead Dylan leans into her again, "I don't want you having sex with Jax."

Brenda blinks, that wasn't what she expected, she shakes her head quickly, "I haven't", she says quickly, "Not since Arizona."

"Really?" That information seems to surprise Dylan.

Brenda nods. Dylan's fingers graze her back. A soft stroke, "Has he tried?"

"No." A jolt of electricity runs down her spine, "I've…I only just saw him last night." She stutters. Dylan's touches doing weird things to her.

His hands reach the top of her yoga pants, his finger dipping in the waist band tracing it slowly, "And…he didn't try last night?"

Brenda swallows hard, her body buzzing, "No."

"Did you want him too?" His voice soft as he lowers his eyes on hers.

Brenda shakes her head, "I wanted you."

Dylan smiles and moves closer. He drags his fingertips back up her spine. His eyes are possessive as he looks at her. He leans in and kisses her neck. It's soft but there is a hunger to it. A need. Like he can't wait another minute. She's his.

"I'll give you time to figure this out, but if were sleeping together, you aren't sleeping with him." His voice is quiet and soft, but commanding.

Instead of answering, she leans into his kiss. His lips are soft and warm, and every kiss sends sparks through her body. His strong hands are at her hips again, this time he is sliding her yoga pants to her ankles. Brenda clumsily steps out of them her t-shirt is long, it's Dylan's, something she grabbed from his bedroom when she woke up. He grabs her butt over the shirt, lifting her onto the counter.

Brenda yelps. His eyes scan her thinking he hurt her, "You okay?"

Brenda smiles, "It's cold."

Dylan chuckles, he fingers the hem of the shirt before lifting it over her head. His eyes rake down her completely naked form. No bra, No panties, just glorious Brenda on the counter in their kitchen. His eyes finally find hers, he watches her as he slides his fingers over her nipples, she groans and bites her lip. Her breath heavy, "Don't stop." She pleads.

"Do we have a deal?" His voice more commanding than before but still soft, his hands still gently caressing her breasts.

Brenda's eyes close, tingles flowing through her peaks down her entire body. She shudders with warmth.

"Brenda." Dylan's voice steely. "Do we have a deal?" His tone not forgiving.

"Yes." Brenda whispers, her eyes closing. Enjoying the feel of his hands on her.

"Good girl." He says seductively.

Dylan kisses her, hard, his tongue plunging into her mouth as he rubs his thumb over her peak. He drags his lips across her cheek, her neck. His finger traces the hickey he left and he briefly wonders if she knows it's there. His mark on her, his claim on her making his stomach flutter with satisfaction.

He brings his mouth to her ear, his breath warm, "Spread your legs." His voice is demanding and sexy. It doesn't seem like a request, even though Brenda knows Dylan better than that. There is a possessive tone to it that isn't missed by her. Like she is his. She closes her eyes, she can be his, at least when they're like this. She can refrain from sleeping with Jax if that's what he wants if they are being intimate. She isn't with Jax for a reason. Actually Jax broke up with her. He wants her to figure stuff out. This is figuring stuff out right?

Brenda spreads her legs as asked. Dylan's eyes reeling in the sight before him. There is so much want in his eyes and his hands are so close.

He takes a long look at her, like she is his favorite thing in the world. Then his lips press into hers. It's hard, intense, like he is branding her. His hands caressing her thighs, closer and closer, until they meet her heat. He strokes her with the lightest touches.

She's his.

He continues to kiss her, Brenda surrendering to it. Parting her lips to make way for his tongue again. She is putty in his hands. Dylan mentioned at the Ranch, if they went there again, as in sex, he wouldn't be able to stop and she now agrees. It's like this whole world opened up her greatest sexual release. The door is wide open with no need or want to shut it. Dylan's hands gently push her so she is laying on her back now. She arches up the cold of the granite hitting her spine. The move only makes Dylan grab her breasts with both hands and squeeze.

His lips are on her hipbone, her thigh then he is pulling her legs up, spreading her and his tongue is on her.

She giggles, aware he is feasting on her on the kitchen counter island. "Breakfast?" She whisper moans.

Dylan chuckles and groans nodding his head only making the sensations more intense as his arms wrap around her thighs. Pleasure spreads through her quickly all the way to her fingers and her toes, making her feel so good she moans even louder. His tongue devouring her now. Fast circles over and over and over again. Brenda's body responds quickly.

"Oh god." Her voice low and breathy with pleasure. She reaches for him but only can get the counter. He digs his fingers into her thighs, pulling her closer, holding her in place. His tongue is demanding but soft and wet, she's his.

All his. Only his.

The pleasure is building, it's too much, she is at the ledge, teetering off until Dylan shifts. He takes her hand and pulls her to her feet. His hands on her hips as he presses her against the counter. Their chests, stomachs, thighs, every part of them touching.

Brenda leans in and presses her lips to his, their kiss is frantic and needy, tongues sliding wetly around each others.

She is his.

Brenda digs her hands into his back but his t-shirt is in the way. He is wearing too much clothing. She pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his slim muscled smooth skin. He groans, leaning her into him so his bare chest is against hers. Brenda fingers his lounge pants he sleeps in. Pushing them down with a rush. He steps out of them instantly and then her hand is around his painfully hard member. She rubs him slowly and Dylan sighs. Kissing her neck softly letting out a growl. Chills spread through her and goose bumps stand proudly. Brenda looks down at him, he's straining, he's more than ready for her. She watches her fingers around him, stroking him. He groans, biting her earlobe. He pulls back and his eyes find hers. They're heavy with need, desire and lust and so telling. He wants to fuck her. It won't be sweet, it won't be slow and that's more than okay with her. He wants to claim her again.

His mouth comes to her ear again. "Turn around." He growls. It's demanding and shoots a tongue of pleasure through her center.

Brenda presses her body against his as she turns around. He grabs her hands and plants them on the counter. Her legs shake and her skin tingles.

Then his lips are on her neck again, soft and sweet. He kisses her shoulder, sliding his fingertips over her thighs.

Brenda sucks in a shallow breath, "Dylan."

He nibbles her skin, grabbing her thighs and pushes them apart. She is open and ready for him. Her hands dig into the counter. His hands on her hips, his lips on her back. She arches into him, tilting her neck so she can kiss him. He grabs her hair, tugging gently and presses his lips to hers.

He moans into her mouth then releases her. The anticipation practically killing her.

He teases her opening driving her crazy. Like he's waiting for permission.

"I'm yours." Brenda whispers. And that simple admission makes Dylan slam into her so hard Brenda cries out.

"Fuck yes." He breathes enjoying that more than he probably should. He groans loudly, thrusting deep and hard. She can feel every inch of him branding her. She can hear his heavy breaths, his grunts and groans as he enters and exits her relentlessly. He grips her hips almost painfully then they are on her back. Caressing it lovingly, then his hands are in her hair again, tugging her to kiss him again. The angle isn't that comfortable so instead Dylan's lips hit her neck. Brenda hand winds back digging her fingers into his hair, breathing out as he thrusts into her.

She's his.

He thrusts into her harder, deeper, faster…again and again and again. Her body hums with pleasure. She never wants this to end. Her mind going where she has ignored. The part she has been pushing away to protect herself. The part of her brain and heart that loves this man so completely. The part that tells her he's the only man for you, the only man you'll ever love. The part that tells her she never wants anyone but him inside her again. It's like she is wrestling with these thoughts, they are surprisingly strong. She pushes them away, they fight back. Her heart pushes so much its winning until he pinches her nipple and her sex clenches and gone are any thoughts at all.

"Dylan." She moans loudly.

"Come for me." His voice gets caught in his throat. He squeezes her again, his breath so heavy with desire and lust. It's strained, groaning faster and closer together like he's holding back.

Harder, faster, deeper.

The pressure building and building, both close.

Closer.

She's his.

Brenda reaches back, her nails scrape against his thigh. He groans loudly.

"Fuck Bren."

She sucks in a breath, "Harder." She demands.

So close

He trusts into her, harder still, deeper. His hands find her hips for leverage as he holds her steady.

"Harder." She urges.

He groans turned on further and it sends a ripple down her whole body.

He compiles again, taking his time with every thrust.

Brenda's legs shake, the tension deep between them. Everything inside her builds and builds until her orgasm rocks through her like lightening hitting the ground. She screams so loudly she is sure the neighbors heard.

"That's it baby." Dylan breathes feeling her clench him tightly over and over, keeping his pace to take her through it.

Brenda closes her eyes, listening to his heavy breaths and low moans. He keeps the pace, thrusting into her over and over, his groans getting louder and louder.

"Bren." His voice is a whisper of praise and longing as he squeezes her hips, his nails sharp against her skin. Another thrust, another groan and he comes, his breath releasing, his grip tight on her hips.

He breaths heavy, catching his breath as he slowly leans over her, pressing his chest against her back. Their breathing even and in sync. His arms wrap around her, hugging her tightly, his lips kiss her back, his cheek rests against her skin. He squeezes her tightly. "I love you." He breathes. "Baby I love you so much." He confesses sweetly. The demanding voice gone.

Brenda closes her eyes, her heart pushing her protective mind out of the way with a hard shove. "I love you too." She breathes back. This just got a lot more fucking complicated.

 _Oh man. These two opened that door and now…it's open. There is no going back. Next chapter Brenda hangs with the girls and Jax. Dylan is jealous for no reason making this new sexual relationship/non relationship hot and cold. I bet you can guess now where I'm going with this. Brenda is being a stubborn ass but it won't last too long because something is coming. Also I know it seems these two are going into more of a physical relationship but they'll have moments too. Just a little bit more confusion before the HEA. Patience! Hit review…before you take your cold shower._


	35. Chapter 33

_Man we miss you like crazy Luke Perry. I can't believe it's been a year. This is for all you Brenda and Dylan fans. Brenda and Dylan forever._

 _Chapter 33_

 _Fighting Fair is Overrated_

Brenda walks in happily accepting the ring of arrival from the Peach pit door. She spots Donna and Kelly smiling and talking closely waiting for her at a table by the old jukebox.

"Ladies." Brenda smiles hanging her purse on the back of the chair and sitting across from her old friends.

"Hey Bren." Kelly smiles lifting her cup of coffee to her lips. "Hey Bren." Donna says hello too.

"What did I miss?" Brenda leans both elbows on the table.

"You know what this reminds me of?" Donna smiles, "When we used to meet here every week to gossip and catch up that first year of college. When we were all together and swore college would never break us up."

Brenda smile fades, "We did good for awhile…then it did change."

"Excuse me…it most definitely did because you missy left to live in London." Donna gives her a hard time. "But I'm so glad you're back."

Brenda smiled again, "Me too. So if I remember correctly this is when we go around the circle and get any new gossip." Brenda looks at Kelly, "You first…what's going on with you and my brother?" Brenda leans in.

Kelly blushes, "I mean…it's good."

"It's good? Please Kel…details." Donna urges her.

"Ok…ok…Brandon is looking to maybe transfer back to LA."

Brenda and Donna's mouth drops at the same time, "Are you serious? This is huge." Brenda leans even more forward.

"This is massive…enormous no…colossal." Donna overreacts.

Kelly laughs, "You guys come on. Me and Brandon are old news…I want to know about Brenda…and Dylan."

Brenda gasps, "He told you!"

"Told her what exactly?" Donna and Kelly stare at Brenda now.

Brenda crosses her arms, "I can NOT believe he told you we slept together." She says quietly.

"You SLEPT WITH HIM?" Donna shrieks.

Kelly covers her mouth shocked, and then she starts laughing out loud, "Oh my god…Dylan would never tell me that." She cracks up shaking her head.

Brenda leans forward again, "Then who told you?"

"Ah you just did." Kelly smiles.

Brenda's hand covers her mouth, "Shit, you tricked me, you acted like you knew."

"No I didn't, I can't help it if all you think about is sex with Dylan when you hear his name." Kelly shakes her head with a laugh as Brenda pouts, "Brandon said you too had been sleeping in the same bed. That's why I went with him to get you a new mattress. He didn't say anything about sex."

Brenda's mouth opens then snaps shut.

"Uh uh no way…too late for that now. Spill." Donna urges her now.

Brenda sighs, "We had sex." Kelly and Donna lean in, "A…few times."

"Forget colossal…this is ginormously monumental." Donna exclaims.

Brenda laughs, "Please." She shakes her head. "Me and Dylan doing it is far from monumental…for god sakes we have a kid." She tries to play it down.

Kelly chokes on her coffee, "Um…Bren…last we heard you were with a very very sexy Jax. Which we'll come back too. But it is a big deal. You and Dylan haven't been together in 5 years. He's your first love, he's your baby daddy…and your roommate. This IS monumental."

Brenda looks down shyly with a small shrug.

"Alright first things first, what happened with Jax?" Donna's face now serious.

Brenda takes a deep breath, "I went to Arizona and I think all this Dylan drama finally caught up with Jax. I ended up leaving early after a fight and Jax sort of broke it off with me. He said I should figure out what I want. As in him…or Dylan?"

The girls listen closely with wide eyes. Brenda swallows hard and leans in. She hadn't told anyone this. Not Claire or Brandon or even Dylan, who she really didn't want to know about this. "I was with Jax in bed." She runs her hand over her mouth nervously then rest in on her cheek, "I said Dylan's name like…during it."

Brenda watches both her friends cover their mouth. "I know…I know. I didn't even know I had done it." She growls mad at herself.

"Wow." Kelly breathes.

"I know." Brenda shakes her head.

Donna's expression getting over the shock smiles, "So…then you decided to sleep with Dylan then?"

"Decided? It was more like a hostile take over from both sides." She jokes.

The girls giggle.

"I don't know, I told Dylan I just wanted to be us and see what happens. Whatever that means. I don't know if I'm ready for the whole Dylan and Brenda saga to be honest. I love Dylan and I feel like the physical side of our relationship needed an out but…now were stuck in this middle phase."

The girls stare at her. Their expressions unreadable. Brenda leans back in her chair, "Donna…you have to have some news…lets talk about something else."

Both girls relax their stance, Donna reaches across the table and sets her hand over Brenda's. "It will all work out how its suppose to work out. Dylan loves you and you love him. Stop stressing about it and do what feels right." Donna leans on her elbows, "And I do have news. This weekend I'm putting on a fund raiser and you and you." She looked at Kelly, "are going to participate. It will be fun." Her excitement was a little contagious.

Brenda smiled, "What kind of fund raiser?"

"There is this amazing organization that raises money for kids that are in need of heart transplants. My father did so many pro bono surgeries and worked with them since I can remember. It's something that David and I have continued since he passed away."

It was Brendas turn to cover her hand over Donna's, "He'd be so proud of you. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

Donna gave her a sad smile, "You had your own stuff going on. A beautiful little girl that we all adore. I understand and it's ok, I have great friends." Kelly hugged her to her side. "Plus you're here now."

Brenda laughed, "I'm in." Of course she was in. Donna was one of her oldest friends. She felt guilty about not being there for her when her father died. Dr. Martin was always accepting and nice to her when she knew him. So unlike Felice. They hadn't known each other all that well except for run ins and when Brenda used to spend the night but Brenda knew Donna was a certifiable daddy's girl and that was something Brenda could relate too. "So what do I have to do?"

Donna smile gleamed as she raised her eyebrows. "The only thing you have to do is of course dress to impress, and put together a picnic basket with anything that would make for an amazing date?"

Brenda and Kelly looked at her curiously. She laughed at their expressions, confusion marring their pretty features. She continued, "There will be a silent auction of stuff people donated but the main auction will be a date." She smiled, "With you girls."

Brenda laughed and Kelly shook her head, "Come on Donna. A date with who?" Kelly asked curiously.

"Whoever pays baby." Donna jokes.

"Let me get this straight, You're pimping us out?" Brenda shakes her head with a smile.

"It's not just you there are 35 women participating. It's one evening. You set up your basket however you want. The date will take place the night of the event at the After Dark, so you'll be in public. It's for charity…please."

Kelly sighed, "I don't know Don…things are pretty serious with Brandon. Charity or not I doubt he'll be ok with me on a date with some guy."

"Then there is only one thing to do." Donna smiled again, "You pack your basket with things that you know Brandon will know it's yours. Or tell him. Have him open his wallet Kelly. If he wants that date…he'll pay for it. Bidding starts at 100 dollars."

Kelly laughs with a shake of her head. "Fine…I'm in."

"I'm in too." Brenda lifts her water and the girls join in. They clink their glasses together.

"Ladies." The girls turn towards the familiar voice and the delicious smile of Jax. His eyes settle on Brenda's and she smiles back. He grabs a chair, turning it the opposite way as he straddles it and joins them. "How have you guys been?"

Donna and Kelly smile and answer with a simple good. He looks at Brenda, his eyes kind and lustful. "You?"

She shyly shrugs, "I'm good."

"Good." He answers as he continues to stare at her. Donna and Kelly look at each other with knowing smirks.

"Well…I should get back to work." Jax announces. "See you ladies later." His hand rubs Brenda's back fondly as he gets up. Brenda watches his cute butt as he grabs a to go coffee from the counter and makes his way back to the After Dark. Brenda sighs and looks to her friends. Their smiles and eyes looking at her questioning.

"What?" Brenda acts indifferent.

Kelly shakes her head with a smirk, "Nothing."

Brenda then looks at Donna, "Oh Bren. I don't envy you."

"What are you talking about?" Brenda shakes her head.

"Dylan…Jax…I mean I wonder who will bid on your basket." Donna jokes.

Brenda looks at her friends. "Shit." Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Kelly and Donna laugh at her expense as Brenda sighs. What has she gotten herself into?

Brenda packs her basket for the event that is suppose to start in two hours. She fills it with homemade hummus, veggies and pita bread, grapes and strawberries, her signature pasta salad filled with cheese, salami, peppers and her balsamic vinaigrette. She also made to die for chicken salad sandwiches. With avocado and roasted peppers. It was her thing, she created it when she was pregnant with Olivia, and she has been serving it to anyone and everyone who would try it ever since.

No alcohol because that was the main rule. All alcohol sales from the night at the After Dark go to the charity and the After Darks liquor license forbids bringing in your own. She secures the secret ingredient to the red and white checkered lining to ensure he will know which basket was hers. At first she didn't want to make it known. Dylan or Jax or whomever could bid on the basket based on food. She didn't want to make it known to anyone because it honestly didn't matter. This event was for charity, it was a fun idea and it really didn't matter much who her date was with. But at the last minute Brenda added something that would definitely give her basket away. To one person at least. She closed it quickly as Dylan walked into the kitchen.

"You aren't going to let me peak?" Dylan smiled making sure he looked at the color and shape of the basket.

Brenda smiled, "Nope."

Dylan pouted a little, "How am I suppose to know which is yours?"

She kept her smile and gave him a little shrug as she fastened the basket. "Fate." She replied.

Dylan chuckled, he then took in her outfit. She wore a red dress, strapless that hugged her entire frame. His hand came to the small of her back. He leaned his nose into her neck and inhaled.

"Mmm." He softly moaned, "Fuck the basket…you smell good enough to eat." His arms enclosed her waist tightly moving her so he trapped her against the kitchen counter. "You know I can't look at this counter the same and I am sort of hungry for you." He smiled and leaned into her.

Brenda swatted him. "Down…no time."

Dylan growled disappointed, "It doesn't start for a couple hours."

"I told Donna I'd help out." Brenda says as her attention goes to gathering her things.

A distant older car honk rings out. "I got to go." She hurries to grab her clutch and her picnic basket.

"Who's here?" Dylan asks innocently. Knowing that honk is a 65 stang.

"Jax." Brenda is still gathering.

Dylan walks closer to her, "I could have taken you." His voice is jealous and it makes Brenda look up at him.

"I know." She says simply, "He offered…I thought it was easier. He has work to do at the club I didn't think you wanted to sit there for a couple hours." Brenda explains.

She turns to leave as Dylan lightly grabs her hand. "I'll take you."

Brenda laughs lightly, "Don't be ridiculous he's here already." She grabs her phone and texts Jax quickly that she'll be out in a minute. All she needs is Jax coming to the door at this moment.

"Brenda." His voice telling her he isn't happy, "We had a deal."

Brenda looks at him like he's crazy, "We had a deal I wouldn't sleep with him not that I wouldn't talk to him, besides it's a ride Dylan. That was not the deal."

"Then I want to renegotiate the terms of our agreement." He says sternly.

Brenda huffs, "Why are you doing this? This isn't like you. This isn't you at all." She raises her voice.

"What's not like me?" Dylan sets his hands in his pockets, speaking matter of fact and calm.

"This possessive cave man mentality. You aren't the jealous type. It doesn't suit you."

Dylan forces a laugh, its not a haha laugh it's an I can't believe you laugh. "Well things change I guess."

"Nothings changed…I'm still the same girl Dylan. I kissed people all the time in my plays back in London and you didn't even act like this then. Actually for the most part you were even supportive."

"I didn't like it then…but that's your job, I didn't have much say." Dylan's voice now louder.

"You don't have a say now." Brenda yells back

"Why you plan to kiss him? Is that what your saying?" His hand comes out now…pissed.

"NO! UH!" Brenda loudly, Brenda lifts the picnic basket from the counter.

"Brenda!" He yells after her. She turns easily which surprises Dylan, he half expected he'd have to chase her.

"I'm not doing anything wrong…stop acting like this. You never used to act like this."

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU NEVER GAVE ME A REASON TO!" Dylan roars.

Brenda flinches from his tone and volume. She sighs loudly over this conversation. She takes two steps towards him, "Listen to me…it's one thing to be all possessive when were intimate but its an entirely different thing to be a controlling asshole." A knock at the front door interrupts her. Jax. "Maybe we _do_ need to renegotiate our terms because this isn't working for me." Brenda turns and moves towards the front door. She opens it as Dylan slams it closed again. Hard knocking follows, Brenda knows Jax is worried.

Dylan leans in kissing her hard. So hard she falls roughly into the front door. His hands are on her face, claiming and demanding. His tongue pushes roughly into her mouth as she gasps against his lips. His lips are hard and commanding. He traces her lips with his tongue as she whimpers. Fuck he's good. He pulls away slowly, as Brenda slowly opens her eyes. His eyes are hard and lustful and intense.

"What the fuck was that?" She whispers…no breathes. Her whole body tingling from that kiss.

"Foreplay." He slowly backs away from her.

Brenda's sex clenches and she clears her throat. She struggles to find the door knob, fumbling with it nervously. Finally able she turns it as she opens the door. She swallows hard facing a worried Jax.

"You okay?" He reaches for the basket, his eyes on hers, she nods still speechless. Jax looks at Dylan, he smirks at him. Ego and self confidence staring back at him.

"Jax." He even stands a little straighter.

Jax looks confused as his eyes fall on Brenda's again. Searching her face, then her form to make sure she's okay. He reaches for her hand, Brenda taking it willingly. Jax gently pulls Brenda to the porch, his eyes staring into Dylan's like he's ready to pounce. Dylan just stares back. With a shit eating grin now. So maybe this Christian Grey attitude wasn't him. Or maybe it was now. All he knew was he spend 5 years without Brenda and now even just if it was sexually, she was his and he wasn't going to let her go again…ever. Jax could kick rocks.

The event was going without a hitch. People bidding on the silent auction, drinking and having an amazing time. Dylan eyes Brenda from afar. She was ignoring him that much was for sure. She held a glass of wine smiling and chit chatting with anyone and everyone. She looked smoking hot in her red tight as sin dress. Her hair up in a messy bun only girls know how to create. Dylan's eyes lowering taking in her whole entire body slowly.

"You need a room to yourself?" Brandon appears beside him a playful smirk on his face. Dylan looks towards him quickly then back on Brenda.

"Maybe." He answers the smirk prominent in his voice.

Brandon smiles shaking his head. "So I found some news out today that I definitely didn't need to know." He says calmly.

Dylan turns his body towards Brandon but his eyes are the last to find his. "Like what?" He brings the non alcoholic beer to his lips, taking a long pull from the bottle.

"You're sleeping with my sister again." Brandon says straight out.

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "And how do you know that?"

Brandon shoves him playfully, "Kelly told me."

"Kelly? Really?" Dylan nods like it's interesting. "Guess Brenda couldn't keep it to herself."

"Who are you?" Brandon laughs with a shake of his head, it wasn't like Dylan to be so open. "What does it mean?" His expression turns more serious, protective.

Dylan looks away from Brenda's ass for a moment. "Come on Bran…you know how I feel about your sister. It isn't a secret."

Brandon nods, "True…but are you back together?"

Dylan clears his throat a little, "Officially…not really."

Brandon takes Dylan's silence as if it was up to him they would be. He decides thats also all he is going to get from him. "You gonna bid on Brenda's basket?"

Dylan smiles, "I got to figure out which is hers but of course."

"She didn't tell you what she put in it? Kelly made a list of the exact components." Brandon chuckles. "Which was fine by me. I don't want her going on a date with any of these assholes." Brandon looks around at the business types. Doctors and charity goers. Hell no.

Dylan chuckles, "Maybe you can help me."

Brandon nods as they make their way to the table. Brandon points out Kelly's. It's all fruit and salad and Kelly things, which makes Dylan laugh a little. He walks slowly down the row of open baskets.

"Maybe this?" Brandon points out. "Brenda does really like gouda…and chocolate covered pretzels." He smiles as Dylan shakes his head. They move slowly as Dylan stops abruptly.

He smiles. A big happy grin. It's hers. Brenda's chicken salad…pasta salad and one for sure sign. He looks at Brandon. He is still reading the contents. He finally looks over at him and smiles.

"Number 21." Dylan nods.

Brandon laughs and nods. "The chicken salad is a dead giveaway." He shakes his head amused.

Dylan lifts his fingers and touches the cold gold shiny object that hangs from the lining. "What is that?" Brandon leans forward for a better looks.

Dylan reaches into his pocket and pulls out his fathers watch chain. He shows it to Brandon, there lies the exact gold shiny object. "It's the half heart I gave Brenda for Christmas back in high school. She has one half…I have the other." Brandon's eyes soften as he looks at his best friend.

"You still have it?" Dylan nods.

"I've never taken it off."

"And…she still has hers." He states the obvious.

Dylan sets his watch chain back into his pocket. "I guess she does." He says softly as he turns towards Brenda. Their eyes meet. Brenda noticing he is in front of her basket her eyes soften then harden as she looks away from him with a huff.

Brandon chuckles, his hand clasps Dylan's shoulder. "You got your work cut out for you." Seeing Brenda's pissed off expression towards Dylan.

Dylan looks at his friend with a knowing smirk. He knows he does…but with that half heart hanging in the lining he knows…he really doesn't.

The event gets down to business as Donna and David MC. The two of them reading cards with he contents of each basket. The bidding starts at 100 dollars. Baskets going for about that amount…sometimes a little higher. Brandon paid $500 for Kelly's date. But that's where he started the bidding.

"Next up." Donna shuffles her cards, "We have homemade red pepper hummus, pita and veggies. Chicken salad sandwiches with avocado and roasted red peppers and a balsamic vinaigrette pasta salad with sinful Italian means and cheeses. Do I hear $100." Donna smiles as she looks around.

Dylan opens his mouth as he hears a familiar voice, "$200." He looks towards Jax as he smiles happily facing the stage.

"I have $200…do I hear $250?"

"$250." Some guy says from the back.

"450." Jax calls out. Dylan is standing in shock.

"$450…do I hear $500." Donna looks to the stranger in the back. Brandon bumps him with his elbow. Dylan comes too.

"2000 dollars." Dylan calls out loudly. Brenda's eyes widen as they look at each other. Then Dylan's eyes meet Jax. He is fuming with anger that he can even see from across the room.

Donna giggles, knowing it's Brenda's basket, "Oh ok." She says giddy, "$2000. Do I hear $2100?" She asks knowing that that's far fetched. She looks at Jax.

Jax rocks back on his heels and raises his hand, "$2500." His eyes meet Dylan's intensely. He acts tough even though he knows when it comes to money Dylan has this in the bag.

Dylan smirks before Donna can even say anything he raises his hand. "5000 dollars." Dylan says easily.

"Oh my god." Donna say in her microphone unashamed. "Wow…5000 dollars?" She looks at Jax not exactly sure what total she should even ask for. Jax shakes his head looking to his feet defeated. $2,500 was already pushing it.

Dylan's smile grows, "$5000 going once…going twice…SOLD to Dylan McKay. Come collect your date." Donna smiles excitedly.

Dylan moves fluidly through the crowd as Brenda steps forward. He takes the basket and her hand in the other. They stare at each other as he leads her to the tables of dates that have already started.

He sets down the basket and eases into the seat. Brenda stands looking at him. "Five thousand dollars Dylan…really?" Her hand goes to her slim waist.

Dylan smirks and gives her a small shrug, "It's for the kids."

Brenda shakes her head, "Yeah…right." She slides into seat next to him. He watches Dylan take some of the contents out of the basket setting the table up for their very public date.

"A pictures for the heart association newsletter? You got the most money for your basket so far." The young photographer smiles politely.

Dylan wraps an arms around Brenda's shoulders pulling her tightly into him. They smile and pose for 3 pictures as the guy thanks them and walks away.

Dylan keep his closeness, "You still mad at me?" His lips close to her ear. His breath sending a wave of lust down her entire body.

She looks at him, "Yes." She says quickly.

Dylan smirks, "Good." He kisses her shoulder.

"Good I'm mad at you?"

Dylan nods, "Uh huh." He leans again, his lips at her ear, "It should make for an interesting evening when I fuck you later."

His words make Brenda's sex clench with need again. Butterflies whirl around her belly and she feels the wetness pool in her center. She swallows hard pressing her thighs closer together needing friction.

"Eat up…you'll need the energy." Dylan smiles and looks down taking his sandwich in his hands. He takes a bite and winks at her.

Finally Brenda smiles and shakes her head. She rolls her eyes but takes the sandwich in her hands. She looks around for a moment her eyes finding Jax's instantly. Sadness…hurt…despair…anger looks back at her. She instantly feels like shit.

Dylan notices their exchange. "He'll get over it." He says nonchalantly.

"Don't be mean." Brenda says setting down her sandwich not feeling hungry at all.

"I'm not being mean. I won."

Brenda huffs, "Please Dylan…it's not a shocker. You have a lot more money than Jax. I mean $5000 for a date with someone you are sleeping with anyway. Someone that has meals with you everyday for free."

"I didn't say I fight fair." Dylan takes a huge bite of his sandwich and smiles as he chews. "This is phenomenal by the way." He says enjoying the chicken salad. His picks up a piece of pita dipping it heavily into the hummus. He moans enjoying their spread. "You didn't fight fair either. I saw our heart pendent."

Brenda smiles a little that he noticed as she pushes his shoulder with his playfully. She looks back where Jax was giving them the eye but he's no longer there. Her eye catches his back as he heads into his office, the door closes forcefully.

She sighs, "I don't like hurting him." She says out loud.

Dylan sets down his sandwich and leans into her. "He's a grown man Bren. He'll be ok once his ego recovers."

Brenda stares at him and takes a deep breath. Knowing that it's true. Jax is probably a little jealous but she is sure his pride is more wounded than a meal with Dylan. She picks at the veggies and takes a bite.

Dylan smile widens. "What are you smiling about?" She smiles back.

Dylan chuckles, "I'm happy. And I know for a fact." His wraps his arm around her waist pulling her closer, "You put out on the first date." He wiggles his eyebrows at her seductively. "You're worth every penny."

Brenda shakes her head with a laugh and pushes at him. He takes her hand in his. Kissing her palm and leans into her. His lips touch hers tentatively. Sweetly and soft. It's not demanding like the other kisses they have shared recently. He's calm and relaxed.

"You're not mad anymore." He breathes against her lips. It isn't a question.

She shakes her head. "Disappointed? Since you like to have angry possessive sex now apparently." Her eyes twinkle with playfulness.

Dylan smiles and shakes his head, "No."

"No?"

"I got other plans for you."

"I'm intrigued."

Dylan raises his eyebrows and then winks again. He stares into her eyes. "Let's get out of here. We can take this home and enjoy it in bed." He starts to set the contents back into the basket.

Brenda swallows hard and nods. She helps him and then fastens the basket. He picks it up and takes her hand.

"Leaving so soon?" Brandon smiles watching them try to sneak out.

Dylan chuckles, "Enjoy your date." He calls from ahead and hears both Kelly and Brandon laugh out loud.

The drive in silent as Dylan caresses her thigh. Soon they are making out and walking backward. Brenda leading him to the couch.

"Uh uh." Dylan lifts her bridal style. "My bed this time." He leans in and kisses her softly as he takes the stairs two at a time.

Her dress is discarded frantically and Dylan's suit joins it on the floor. She sits slowly on the bed and pushes to the middle of it. Dylan's eyes looking down her hot body greedily. He's over her in a second.

"Hey." She smiles at him.

"Hey." He smiles back.

It's sweet. Innocent even. Like they're kids about to kiss for the first time. Not their first kiss, sweeter…younger.

It feels like the first time with her. It's been so long since they made love. Forever it seems. But his body knows hers. His lips know hers. There is something instinctual about it, comforting.

Dylan brings his hand to the back of her head and he pulls her into a slow deep kiss.

Her lips apart.

Her tongue slides between them. Tasting his, claiming his but soft and passionate. They kiss for a what seems like a long time. He slowly slips his hand in between her legs and receives a breathy moan that makes him even harder than he was before. She's already wet, ready. Needy. He strokes her anyway. Softly. So softly her groan is more whine than anything else.

"Dylan." She breathes, "Please." She begs.

"Please what, Bren?" His mouth finds her nipple as he sucks it hard into his mouth.

"Fuck me." She rolls her hips, grinding against him. "Please."

Dylan kisses her harder now. The tightening in his balls clouding his mind. He wants to take this slow. He wants to worship her, make love to her, show her how much he loves her. How is he suppose to do that if she is begging like that?

"Slow Bren." He breathes as he kisses her abdomen. Licking and nipping her slowly. He leans up and kisses her lips again. She uses it to her advantage as she pushes him gently so he flops to his back. Her knees plant outside his legs. Her wet heat against his hard center. Her thighs squeeze his hips. She leans down, her fingers curl into his hair as she kisses him fiercely.

She lifts her center, lowering her body onto his. She is in control this time. That much is obvious. She eases down slowly, taking him deeper and deeper.

"Fuck." Dylan's eyes close as he breathes out heavily. Pleasure floods his senses. Something else too. This satisfaction, this wholeness. He's exactly where he's suppose to be. This is more than sex, it's always been more than sex. It's her body against his. It's her heart in rhythm with his own. It's their souls embracing.

Dylan knots his hand in her hair then pulls her into a slow deep kiss. Her lips part for his tongue. Her hips shift. She raises herself up then drives down on him. He slips his hands to her hips guiding her. Rocking with her. He moves one of his hands to her clit. He rubs softly, then harder, higher. There. She groans against his mouth. Drags her teeth against his lip. Dylan keeps the same pressure, same speed, trying to take it slow and deep. She drives down on him again and again. They kiss hard and deep. Moans and groans fill Dylan's bedroom as they make love. Their bodies know something their minds just got.

She's his.

He's hers.

There will not be anyone else. Ever.

They stay locked together, kissing, groaning, moving together until she's there.

She pulls back to groan louder. Her nails dig into his shoulder. They rake down his chest. It's hard, aggressive, hot as fuck. It pushes Dylan to the edge. She sits up, riding him like an ocean wave as her head falls back. Dylan sits up, Brenda moaning louder as he hits her deeper. He pulls her flush against him. Their eyes lock. Dylan's arms wrapped so tightly around her as he moves with her. In sync, in a perfect rhythmic motion. He feels her sex clench him tightly. He moves a little faster, as she comes hard.

"Yeah…baby." Dylan whispers. He feels her come apart over and over against him. Then he is spilling into her not even a moment later. They are grinding together riding the same wave. Their bodies tremble with their orgasms as he holds her close to him.

The catch their breaths, their eyes staring intently into each others. In that moment they both know. They always knew but at this moment there is no denying it or underplaying it. Whatever happens later, tomorrow.

He needs her to be his.

Forever.

Ring…Wedding…more kids…all of it.

He needs to give her everything…always.

"Baby." Dylan whispers emotionally. His fingers play with her hair then caress her cheek.

"I know." Brenda breathes back. She does know. He wants to give her everything but she has to be willing to take it.

 _So how did I do? Things are hot and cold and fire with these two. Next up things get more complicated…for the better. I meant to have this chapter posted for Luke's death anniversary but I have been so busy with this corona virus bullshit. (I work in healthcare) Working longer, busier, mom stuff, you know life. But I'm glad I at least got it done. Hit review people. You're gonna wanna see what happens next._


	36. Chapter 34

_Well hello my fellow quarantined friends. How is everyone doing? I know everyone is bored to death probably having to stay home. I've been trying desperately to update any of my stories because of this reason. I work at a hospital. Not just a hospital but at an Urgent Care that runs like an emergency room open 24 hours a day. It's been pretty interesting and scary. Then the kids are home. Having to take care of them 24/7 more than ever. Home schooling, working, trying to stay safe and for fuck sake making sure we have god damn toilet paper. HA Well here is a much needed update to this story, a nice long one. I know you all will NOT be disappointed. Happy quarantine my BD fans. Enjoy! And heres to more updates on all my stories soon!_

 _Chapter 34_

 _I know how to love you now._

Brenda knocks lightly on the After Dark office door. It's partially open but she waits not feeling comfortable just going in. It had been 6 weeks of confusion, fighting her heart, connecting with Jax more as friends and endless sex with Dylan. It was time to stop stringing Jax along. Brenda wasn't sure about what her future held with Dylan but she did know her heart belonged to him. Their little family was the most important thing in her life.

"Come in." Jax called out.

Brenda pushes the door open and was met with Jax's handsome face, as a smile spreads across his features.

"Hey." She smiles back.

Jax gets up and moves fluidly to the other side of his desk, "Hey what a nice surprise." He hugs her tightly, his hand caressing her back up and down. They slowly separate. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…I just thought we could talk a little."

Jax looks into her eyes and nods. Not having the best feeling about this conversation. He takes her hand gently and guides her to the couch in the office. They both sit, Jax rubbing his thumb over her hand absently. Silence surrounding them.

"Jax…Brenda." They both say at the same time. They smile at each other. "Go head." Brenda offers.

"I think I know why you're here." Jax states. "You're choosing Dylan." He says. Calmly no anger in his tone at all.

Brenda sighs, "I'm not choosing Dylan." She shakes her head, "I don't think it was ever a choice at all. Jax." She takes a deep breath, "I met you and instantly liked you. There was a connection right away with us. Then I fell for you. I fell in love with you."

Jax takes Brenda's hand, "Then what's the problem? Didn't I make you happy?" There is a sadness in his voice and it hits Brenda right in the chest.

"Yes…you made me happy. You showed me that a man can be kind and dependable. You showed me how it was to trust someone and feel that new excitement in a relationship again." Brenda's hand goes to Jax's cheek, he leans into it, kissing her palm. "All that being said, it wasn't fair to you because I met Dylan when I was a kid. Falling for him came easy at that age and the feelings ran deep. No matter how much I want to move on from him, he's there. He's in the far part of my mind, he's in the daughter we share, he's branded…in my heart. So no I didn't choose Dylan. Actually if I had a choice, I probably should choose you. But I don't have a choice, there was never a choice to be made."

"He's the one." Jax says quietly wiping a tear quickly.

Brenda shrugs slowly as tears fill her eyes, "I wish he wasn't sometimes. It's just always been him and I've realized that the more I fight it, the more it surrounds me. I don't know whats going to happen with Dylan to be honest but I owe you honesty. You've trusted me in this and it's the least I can do."

Tears fill Jax's eyes again as he looks at her. "This is harder than I thought it would be." He says quietly. "I knew…in my heart and in my head…the whole entire time but it still doesn't make losing you any easier." His forehead falls gently against hers. "He's gonna hurt you again." Brenda swallows hard closing her eyes. "And when he does…I won't be here."

Dylan jiggles his keys climbing the stairs heading to his office. His goal get the month end statements and get the F out of there. Conversing with Jax on the weekly has been shit. Dylan comes to the partially open door.

"I love you Bren. It's something I never thought I'd do again after Amy."

Dylan ducks quickly, his back silently hitting the wall as he listens.

"I love you too." Brenda whispers.

Dylan's hands ball into fists at his sides.

Jax's breathes into her mouth, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss is soft at first, sweet, slow pecks that make your toes curl. Brenda turns a little, her hands find his shoulders, needing the support because she is melting in this last kiss with Jax. Then the kiss becomes more intense, their mouths move together, not rough or needy, it feel like goodbye. Jax tilts his head to the side, urging her to give him better access and Brenda gives it freely. Tongues mix in pleasant harmony.

Dylan moves and peaks inside and swallows hard seeing the scene in front of him. Brenda and Jax kissing, like really kissing and his stomach feels sick. Nausea rolls through him quickly and his hand touches his abdomen in protest. Their deal…their stupid obviously futile deal. Dylan backs away and quickly descends the stairs. He is livid, he is pissed, he is so beyond hurt it's not even funny. Had she been doing this all this time? All the days she was busy with Jax and with him at night? Was this what the girls went through that short time all those years ago when Dylan got caught up with the history and love for Brenda and the newness and excitement of Kelly?

Dylan wasn't going to give her the benefit of the doubt. He was over this. He was over the punishment of breaking her heart all those years ago. Enough was enough. He stalked the exit but before he left. He picked up a glass from the stack that was drying on the counter and threw it against the wall. It shattered loudly before he left all this shit behind.

Brenda and Jax jump apart. Jax's head turns towards the door, "What was that?"

Brenda covering her mouth, "I'm sorry I got carried away." Ignoring the noise but happy it interrupted.

Jax smiles, "We both did." He squeezes her hand and pulls her to investigate the noise. The club is empty. The evidence shattered all over the floor is the only proof they heard what they heard. Jax looks at Brenda shrugging a little. "That's weird." He comments. He turns his attention to Brenda.

"I hope he knows what he has." Jax comments, a small sad smile on his handsome face.

Brenda takes a deep breath, "Me too. But something tells me he does now."

"Good luck Brenda. I've only ever wanted you to be happy." Jax smiles deepens, "I'm like Victor Laszlo in Casablanca. Sacrificing his happiness for his love." He jokingly rolls his eyes.

Brenda laughs, "Isla ends up with Victor." She states again.

Jax cutely shrugs, "True but we all know she shouldn't have." His eyes are sad. "You're an incredible woman Bren. It's going to be hard getting over you."

Tears fill Brenda's eyes, "Well…we always have Paris." She jokes. And Jax laughs out loud and shakes his head.

"Well the metaphor is there but one thing is still for sure." He smiles.

"What's that?" Brenda smiles back.

"Casablanca still fucking sucks."

Brenda laughs loudly, her hand coming to his shoulder. She leans in and hugs him tightly. She breathes out, taking in his scent and warmth for the last time. If things were different this man would be her dream come true. Her hand comes to the back of his head as she leans away from him.

"I'll see you around." She says quietly.

Jax nods, "Bye Brenda." They peck sweetly.

They grab hands, squeezing in fondness. She turns to head out.

"Bren?" Jax calls out.

She turns and looks into his eyes, "If Dylan fucks this up. You tell him I will happily beat his ass for you. It's a long time coming."

Brenda chuckles with a nod, "Thanks and I will."

Jax nods once as he watches Brenda Walsh walk out of the club and his heart for good.

Brenda struggles to carry the groceries into the house with plans to make a romantic dinner for Dylan. Olivia is content with sleeping with Iris tonight at the hotel. She wants to tell Dylan, she's decided. She hears music and giggling as she rounds the corner to the living room. She freezes at the sight in front of her. The bags of groceries thump to the ground getting the attention of Dylan and a familiar brunette.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Anger flashes in Brenda's eyes.

"Hey Bren…you remember Michelle." Dylan's cocky son of a bitch voice is directed at her.

Michelle smiles, getting up and moves towards Brenda. Her hand comes out, "It's nice to meet one of Dylan's roommates finally."

Brenda shakes her hand with a huff, "Roommates? huh."

Brenda's eyes burn Dylans. His eyebrows lift testing her. Silence fills the living room. Brenda's eyes find Michelle's. She's pretty yet her clothes look like she is trying too hard for male attention.

Michelle looks down at the groceries. "Here let me help." She picks up a bag. Brenda moves quickly taking the bags from the floor, she reaches for the one in Michelle's hand, she takes it back with force.

"I got it." Brenda seethes. She tries to reign in her anger. It isn't this bitches fault. She is just a willing victim in Dylan's games. "Well…if you'll excuse me, I should put these away." Brenda rounds Michelle and heads for the kitchen.

Brenda looks down at the counter, her palms flat as she breathes out. Her eyes close as she tries to calm her breaths and push her tears back where they belong. What is she doing? She hears giggles come from the living room and her anger builds. This was not Brenda. This was not like her to allow this shit and in her own house. She remembers Palm Springs and catching Dylan with a girl. She thinks about Jax and his tears and utter heartbreak over their talk. Hell no Dylan doesn't get to enjoy his evening with Michelle. She stands up straight, letting her anger fall over her. She walks with confidence into the living room. She sees Michele standing over Dylan shaking her hips from side to side to the song as it rings through the living room. Holding a glass of red wine in her right hand. Brenda's wine. Brenda charges. She takes the wine from her setting it on the coffee table.

"Get out." Her voice stern, sure.

"Excuse me?" Michele's head turns to the side sizing her up.

Brenda takes a step towards her, "I said…get out." She says through her teeth.

Michele laughs an uncomfortable laugh, she shakes her head, "I don't understand. Dylan?" She looks to him for some help.

"GET OUT!" Brenda yells loudly. She moves around Michelle and grabs her purse from the living room chair.

"What are doing?" Michelle walks after her. Brenda opens the front door and tosses Michelle's purse on to the porch.

She follows it in a rush, "You crazy…" Michelle says as Brenda slams the door on her.

Dylan leans on the arch way, "Was that necessary?" His voice like ice.

Brenda turns, she is pretty sure this is the moment in cartoons smoke would come out of her ears. "You." She shoves him, "You son of a bitch." She shoves again. "What the hell kind of game are you playing?" Tears spill now, unable to keep them in. Brenda has never been more angry at him.

"I'm not playing a game Bren." He says calmly. "You made your choice, I was simply calling an old friend."

"An old friend you used to sleep with? Mature Dylan…really mature."

Dylan laughs, "Because throwing Michelle's purse out on the porch is a sign of maturity?" He eggs her on.

"You'll never change." She shakes her head. "And to think." She breaks down, "To think I chose you over a better man. He's a better man than you." She flees the stairs.

"What are you talking about?" Dylan yells after her.

Brenda stops, she turns towards Dylan at the bottom of the stairs, "The groceries…tonight…I was going to tell you." Brenda shakes her head, tears running down her face. "I chose you…for nothing it seems." She runs up the rest of the stairs. Dylan stares after her hearing her door slam shut.

Dylan takes a moment to process what he just heard. He takes the steps two at a time. His hand coming up as he bangs on Brenda's bedroom door. "Brenda!" He reaches the knob, locked. "Brenda…open the door please."

Nothing

Silence

Dylan leans his head on the door, "Please Bren…open the door." He gives it a moment. Nothing.

He turns his back resting against the door and closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath in and out. He slides down Brenda's door, sitting his back against it. He knows she's one the other side of it. He feels her there.

"I went to the club today. I saw you and Jax." Dylan speaks quietly knowing she is listening. "I saw you kissing and heard you guys. My world shattered. I was so angry I called Michelle to get back at you. For playing games, for leading me on, for breaking my heart again. Nothing happened with her. I didn't touch her. I used her to get back at you. I didn't know what I saw today was good bye. I'm so sorry Bren." Dylan sighs emotionally exhausted, "Please believe me Brenda. I have changed. I know in all this it doesn't seem like it but I have." Dylan gets up quickly and runs to his room. He opens his bed side table taking out his journal. He returns to the bedroom door.

"I wrote you something yesterday. I was waiting for the perfect time to read it to you. I think maybe this is that time." Dylan opens the journal to the page thats folded. Brenda leans her head on her side of the door. Her hand on it as she waits.

 _My broken promises broke your heart_

 _Time and time again_

 _I let everything fall apart_

 _I was such a fool back then_

 _But you loved me once I know_

 _So many sorrys ago_

 _There was a time when I held your hand_

 _I would have died to keep you safe_

 _That's why it kills me that I'm the man_

 _That put those tears on your face_

 _I don't blame you for moving on_

 _And maybe all of my chances are gone_

 _I see that look in your eyes_

 _You're scared_

 _And I understand why_

 _So am I_

 _But here I am and I just pray_

 _That you will listen long enough_

 _To hear me when I say_

 _This brand-new man won't let you down_

 _If you'll let me show you_

 _I know how to love you now_

Dylan closes his journal and takes a deep breath. "I want you to know…that all those times I hurt you, I didn't understand what I was doing. But I do now Bren. I didn't love myself enough to let you love me."

Dylan moves closer to the door, "I love you…and I'm not going to stop loving you. I know how to love you now. That man you always wanted me to be. I am that man. And I can be a husband now and I can be a father, and I can give you everything that we were always meant to have. And maybe I'm too late and maybe I should move on but I can't. I have tried like hell but all that happens is I get better at lying to myself. I don't want to do that anymore. You and me Bren. That's how its suppose to be. You know that." Dylan moves his index finger caressing the wood of the door like it's her cheek. He closes his eyes hearing her quietly cry on the other side of it. "Brenda" he whispers, "It's Olivia and you…and me." He breathes.

Dylan's head rests against it and after a few moments he hears the lock unlock echoing in the silence of the house. Dylan looks up at the knob quickly, standing just as fast. He reaches for the doorknob and twists, the door opening wide as he pushes it open.

Brenda is standing there, 4 feet from him. She looks beautifully broken with tears running down her face. Dylan takes a step towards her.

"You and me and Olivia?" He pleads with his eyes.

Brenda shakes her head no and looks to her hands. Only then Dylan notices she is holding something. Her hands cover it as he tries to see what it is.

Brenda takes a step towards him, "No…It's you…and me…Olivia and one more." Her palm reaches out, her fingers slowing opening revealing what she is holding. Dylan's breathe gets caught in his lungs as he sees what she has. There in her palm lies a positive pregnancy test. "I'm pregnant." She adds.

His eyes meet hers. A gush of breathe leaves his lungs finally reminding him he needs to breath. He takes a step towards her, now close enough to look down at the stick and see the evidence in plain bright pink lines. Their eyes meet again.

They stare at one another for what seems like several minutes. Brenda swallowing hard, "Say something…Dylan." She pleads.

"You're pregnant?" Dylan whispers, "Pregnant?"

Brenda nods. "I found out yesterday. I was going to tell you tonight after dinner."

A slow smile spreads across his face. A beautiful exquisite grin. His arms circle her waist quickly, lifting her as he spins Brenda around causing her to giggle. Her feet hit the floor, "You're pregnant." He breathes against her lips. His forehead lays against her.

"Are you happy?" She asks quietly.

Dylan leans out and looks deeply into her eyes, he smiles, wordlessly, he presses his firm, smooth lips around hers. Time seems to stop as they kiss. His tongue slides between her lips into her mouth. She moans softly as he deepens the kiss.

"You've made me the luckiest guy in the whole entire world. I missed everything with Olivia and here I get to do it for real. Not just dream about it. Tell me again." His forehead finds hers again as he closes his eyes.

Brenda smiles, "I'm pregnant." Dylan hums as he smiles. He envisions hearing it in London. His eyes open as he picks Brenda up effortlessly, laying her on her bed. He takes her t-shirt, pulling it over her head. Her bra follows, Dylan's eyes feast on her bare breasts. His hand reaches behind him pulling his shirt over his head to join the rest of their clothes. He lowers himself, kneeling before her on the edge of the bed. His lips clasp over one of her nipples and his tongue swirls around it, bringing it to a hard nub. Brenda lets her head fall back and moans. Her nipples are sore but sensitive and it feels glorious. Dylan moves over to do the same to the other breast, she arches her back, pushing her breast harder into his mouth.

He grazes his teeth against it and Brenda lets out a cry. She brings her head up and watches him suck her tender flesh. His lips find hers, his tongue swirling around her mouth making Brenda warm all over. When Dylan's hands reach for the waistband of her jeans she closes her eyes. The warmth turns to fierce tingling. Dylan tugs down her pants and she leans back to push her hips up so he can slide them all the way off. Her panties are next and are discarded quickly.

"You have too many clothes on." Brenda breathes, feeling exposed in a good way but seeing Dylan dressed from the waist down.

He ignores her. His hand caressing her abdomen gently. He stares down at her flat stomach in awe. He leans down and presses a kiss below her belly button. Brenda's fingers find his hair as she closes her eyes. He might have missed enjoying her being pregnant with Olivia but Brenda missed this too. This adoration and love that a man has as his unborn child grows inside the women he loves.

"Dylan." Brenda whispers overtaken with emotion.

"Open your legs Bren." The sternest in his voice sends desire shooting up her spine. Brenda does as he says, parting her thighs. She can feel the dampness between her legs as she does. It feels erotic and different this time. The way his eyes drink in the most intimate part of her. She watches him as he dips his head. She sees the smile on his lips as he nears his little piece of heaven. His lips press to her mound and the kiss he lays there sends a burst of pleasure up through her.

"Oh." Brenda breathes, the pregnancy bringing things up several notches. "Oh." She moans.

Dylan kisses her again and again until those kisses turn to long, luscious licks. He feels incredible and Brenda's fists ball into the comforter. Every time she presses her hips against him, he swirls his tongue harder, making the feeling grow in intensity. Brenda's orgasm is hanging by a thread.

"Please Dylan…I need you." She knows she is begging but she wants to feel him.

He gets up wanting the same as he shoves his jeans down with the quickness. He is gloriously naked as he stands over her. Her hand reaches for him and he happily obliges.

He rubs his thick member against her wet folds. Then he stops, nervous now.

"Is it ok…will it hurt the baby?" He asks softly. Naively and it makes Brenda smile at him. She shakes her head.

"No…people have sex all the time in pregnancy. The baby is fine."

Dylan smiles widens, "Thank god." He breathes out relieved.

Their smiles only last for a second because then he pushes the tip into her slowly.

They both moan out. It's intense and a fabulous full feeling as he fills her. Brenda's eyes are closed tightly. She is much more sensitive now.

"Are you okay baby?" Dylan whispers noticing.

She nods, "Yeah, keep going." She urges him.

Dylan pushes further, deeper and deeper. He groans loudly, "You feel so good Bren." He grunts.

Brenda opens her legs wider as he pushes the rest of him until he's fully inside. He kisses her hungrily as he stays still feeling the warmth, wetness of heaven enclose him. He pulls out slowly and thrusts into her. Brenda runs her hands over his back, loving the feeling of his muscles flexing as he grinds against her. With each pump, a spark of pleasure starts to grow. Her breath catches in her throat and soon she feels a deep surge of need.

Dylan makes a sound in this throat and kisses her deeply again. He draws out almost alll the way then drives into her harder and deeper than before sending a rippling surge of pleasure down their entire bodies.

"Fuck." He groans.

He keeps his pace and kisses her with utter love and passion. His lips find her neck, sucking and biting. Brenda moans loudly now as Dylan thrusts deep hard drives into her over and over. They are completely lost in pleasure and each other they can barely breathe. His hips quicken as his thrusts turn harder, again and again. Slamming into her. The bed squeaks the room fills with sexual sighs and moans. The slap of skin to skin fills the room.

"Dylan." Brenda cries out. He clamps his mouth to her pebbled nipple and she arches into him. "God…oh god." She chants.

Dylan grunts loudly over and over against her breast. Brenda's hands cover his head. She pulls him to her. Kissing him fiercely. She presses her lips to his ear. "I'm gonna cum." Her hands run down his back and over his smooth muscled ass. Feeling his butt flex as he pushes into her over and over.

"Cum for me baby." He breathes into her ear as he pumps into her over and over again. She tethers over the edge for a split second and then she's over the ledge. Her orgasm is overwhelming and sparks through her. Tingling from her center all over her entire body. She screams loudly riding her wave of ecstasy. Dylan lets out the breath he has been unknowingly holding. His ass tightens as he pushes in one last time and he cums hard against her. His body trembles with intensity.

"Bren." He groans loudly, holding her tightly, moving his lips up to kiss her neck.

They hold each other like that for a long time. Finally Dylan moves to her side, cradling her against him.

They lay like that for what seems like hours. Dylan kisses her temple softly. His hands tightening around her mid section. His lips rest against her head, "They forget everything the minute they were together again." He utters words from Wethering Heights. His lips kiss her head again as Brenda sighs recognizing the many lines Dylan has said to her over the years.

"He's more myself than I am." Brenda whispers back.

"Whatever our souls are made of…" Dylan squeezes her to him tighter.

"His and mine are the same." Brenda finishes. She looks up at him. "I love you." She whispers so heartfelt tears brim her eyes.

Dylan stares into her eyes. His hand comes to cup her face. He leans in and kisses her softly. "As I love you."

He chuckles a little thinking after a few silent moments.

Brenda rests on her elbow looking at him, "What?" She smiles.

"Olivia is going to be over the moon about this." Dylan smiles widens.

Brenda chuckles and nods. "Yeah she is."

Dylan's hand covers Brenda's flat belly, he shifts downward so he is eye level with her, "I want to be involved in every part of this pregnancy. Every part no matter how small or gross or embarrassing." Brenda laughs, "I mean it Bren. I want to know everything. Promise me."

Brenda looks into his eyes, her hand coming to his face tenderly. "I promise."

Dylan smiles and leans in kissing her gently. Then he pulls her into him so he can cuddle her into him again.

"Another baby." Dylan whispers. "I'm not sure how I deserve this."

Brenda looks up at him, "What do you mean?"

"Happiness. Everything I've ever wanted. My girl back, a perfect daughter and another baby. How did I get this lucky? Guys like me don't get the happily ever after Bren. It's too good to be true." Dylan breathes out seriously. "How is it that all my faults, my regrets, mistakes led me here. What? There just gone now?"

Brenda shakes her head, "Not gone…past?"

Dylan nods, "Exactly. Which means it's still hanging around. I just…I don't know, its like raindrops in a barrel and just one more rain drop and the whole thing washes over the side…I mean I get a do over. Nothing can bring back what I missed with Olivia but now I get to experience all this with you like its the first time. It just seems to good, you seem too good to be true that I get be with you, that you're choosing me when I should have chosen you a million times." Tears fill his eyes.

Brenda smiles, "I get to experience this too. I was all alone the first time. Heartbroken and wondering if I was making the right decision in having her." Brands swallows hard, "I know..I know…we've hurt each other, we have our past but sometimes once in your life, someone gets into your blood stream…consumes your heart, your soul, it doesn't matter how much you failed each other…you must choose each other and I choose you exactly the way you are. And I'm gonna love you forever." Dylan smiles as his lips attach to hers. "And ever and ever." She murmurs against his lips as they kiss over and over again.

"Amen." Dylan murmurs. He pecks her quickly getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Brands whines watching him leave her bedroom. She pulls the sheets over her as she sits up.

Dylan stands in the doorway in all his naked glory. He holds something in his hand as he walks towards the bed.

"I'm not drunk." Brenda looks at him funny, "I'm not grasping for straws." He breathes out, "I'm not desperate for you to stay. I'm not asking because were fighting or because I want to keep you from your tour." Dylan speaking the words back to her, "I'm not asking because we have daughter." He continues, "Or because we're having another baby." Dylan kneels down at the bed side. "I'm asking you because I love you with my whole entire heart. I love you more than my own life. I'm asking because I want to spend every moment of forever with you." Dylan opens Brenda's ring box. It sits on display in his palm, "I'm asking you to marry me Brenda. To spend the rest of your life loving me. No we're not in Paris…or London but were in our home. You're my home, Olivia and this baby is my home. Let me be your home too?"

Brenda looks at her beautiful engagement ring that Dylan has had for 5 years. She can really really look at it now. It's perfect and it's so her. Her eyes meet his, tears run over her eyes down her cheeks. She nods silently. His eyes begging for an answer. A real answer.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you." She throws her arms around him tightly. His hand moving to the back of her head.

His eyes close, "You answered this time." He whispers "You said yes."

Brenda laughs through her tears as Dylan gets up off his knees and sits on the edge of the bed. He slides her ring on her left ring finger. They look down at it in awe.

"it's so beautiful. I love it so much." Brenda whispers not taking her eyes off its beauty.

Dylan kisses her face, "You asked me why I still had it?" Brenda's eyes meet his.

"I kept it because someday…I knew you were going to wear it."

Brenda smiles and breaks down as they hug tightly. Dylan groans, "God I love you."

Brenda keeps her arms tightly around his neck as she looks at him. "It's always been you." She sobs happily. "Only you." Their lips touch powerfully. Opening against each other in sync. Tongues mixing in harmonious circles. So maybe Dylan didn't wait for the grand gesture, he really only wanted his proposal to be perfect. But in this moment, with the baby coming, having Brenda back fully and little Olivia who was about to have all her dreams come true, there wasn't a more perfect time to seal their fate. Rain drops may spill over but Brenda and Dylan would be there to catch them…together.

 _Ahhhhhhhhh So I know many of you guessed this pregnancy and I wasn't really trying to hide the fact that they were doing it a lot unprotected. I always wanted to make it known that condoms were used by the plenty when it came to Jax but Brenda and Dylan didn't give a crap. And maybe they secretly wanted it. At least subconsciously anyway. So maybe a few chapters left. And a nice ending for Jax. Thats all I'll say about that. Hit review my people. There is more to come._


	37. Chapter 35

_Not a long chapter but a update non the less. So there is a little trouble in paradise. Enjoy!_

 _Chapter 35_

 _No Easy Way_

Dylan sat up in bed. He looked to his right and saw Brenda sleeping soundly. Her eyelashes laid on her upper cheeks, her pouty mouth closed, her even breaths making her near perfect body rise and fall. Her dark brown hair fanned out framing her beautiful face as a flawless framed picture. The news about Brenda's pregnancy had a couple days to settle. Dylan was so excited when she told him. He tried to remember a time when he had felt that happy. Only coming to the conclusion it was when he spend the afternoon at Brenda's old apartment meeting Olivia. Olivia…she didn't know yet. Dylan had been vague when he told Iris that him and Brenda had officially gotten back together. Leaving out the details that they were engaged and expecting a baby. Iris has insisted they let her keep Olivia for a couple days. To give them time to enjoy their reunion. Brenda and Dylan had no problem doing that. They plan to share their happy news with everyone at some point. But wanted to enjoy each other before they let the gang and their families in on it.

Finding out Dylan had a daughter was a lot of different emotions. Betrayal, sadness, stress and fear. Then the excitement, love and overwhelming adoration that followed. This was different. It was something to look forward too. Something warm and fuzzy. But there was a side of other emotions too. Of course there was fear and anxiety. Sure people had babies everyday but not Brenda. Not a woman he was so in love with it was scary in itself. His mind raced with thoughts of miscarriage and other things that could go wrong in a new pregnancy. And then another nagging feeling. He hadn't even thought of until Brenda told him she was heading in to her obgyn for her first appointment today. She had asked him just last night to come with her. Brenda was over the moon. The news of having anther baby with Dylan and her rock of her engagement ring that sat proudly on her left ring finger was a major factor.

Dylan had been sweet the last couple days. Pampering her with sexual favors, special snacks and cuddles. Make outs that were famous in their teen years had joined in on the fun again. Hours of caressing her abdomen and talking to their unborn child like it even had ears yet. It was magical until that nagging feeling took over.

Dylan had purchased a book, he was fascinated as he read the first couple of chapters to "What to Expect When Your Expecting". Brenda had laughed when she saw it on the coffee table just yesterday but it earned him a delicious blow job on the couch. But what he did learn from the few chapters he had read was how they determined how far along a women is and that most doctors didn't want to see their patients until at least 8 weeks. So while laying in bed last night Dylan stupidly counted the weeks back in his head. And came to the frightening conclusion that 8 weeks ago…Brenda was in Arizona. He took a hot shower in the middle of the night and shamefully cried in secret. He pretended to be too tired to make love to his new fiancé and he tossed and turned the whole night thinking the worst. This baby wasn't his.

"Baby." Brenda smiled and moved her left hand to his chest. Dylan looked over at her. Her ring flashing in the morning light of the bedroom. "Come here." She whispered lustfully.

Dylan swallowed hard and moved swinging his legs to the floor, his back to her now. He closed his eyes as he felt her hand that once caressed his chest begin to caress his back.

"I got a few things to do before the doctors appointment." He made up before standing.

He tried to act as normal as possible even though just the simple fact he was denying Brenda morning sex and sex last night was enough to grow huge suspicions.

"Oh come on. I'm sure you can spare an hour?" Brenda's voice was traced with lust. His eyes met hers only for him to look away quickly. He opened his dresser drawer grabbing a pair of socks and boxers. Grabbing his towel that he used last night draping it across his forearm. "Dylan? Brenda smiled, "Come back to bed." She patted his empty space.

"I can't Bren." His voice more frustrated than he would have liked.

Brenda sat up and looked at him. The playful sexy expression now cautious. "Is everything okay?"

Dylan sighed, he turned towards her, fuck she was beautiful. He forced a smile and gave her a nod, "Yes." He leaned in quick.

Brenda waited for his lips to come to her mouth as they hit her forehead instead. She watched his back in disappointment as he went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She got a sneaky smile as she threw the covers back, with plans on joining Dylan in the shower. That was until she heard it click alerting her to him locking it. She frowned, damn he knew her well. She took a deep breath and continued her way downstairs to make coffee and something for breakfast instead with the weird pull in her gut that was telling her something was going on with her fiancé. Something he didn't want to tell her about.

Dylan let the hot spray of the shower cover his face. He turned his back to the warmth and breathed out. How do you tell the love of your life you suspect this baby isn't yours? How do you do it without hurting them? Without throwing her past relationship that she was always very honest about in her face? Brenda seemed unfazed by the possibility. How do you for a lack of a better description do it without making your girl think she is a complete and utter slut?

Brenda had said that today's doctors appointment was her first check up. Dylan breathed out the breath he was unaware he was holding, 8 weeks 8 weeks, chanted in his brain. Fuck. Was there even a way to know? Was there a DNA test they could do in utero? Or would he fall more in love with Brenda and this baby only for it to come out with blue eyes and blonde hair and dimples like Jax. Dylan clenched his fist, bringing it back and hitting the tile in the shower. It splintered under his knuckles.

"Fuck." He breathed his hand protesting in response. His hands gripped his hair, then they lay flat on the shower wall. Tears filled his eyes again. Wow he was turning into a girl secretly crying in the shower. He pressed his fingers into his eye sockets to try to push them back in. It hadn't worked when a hot tear rolled down his cheek. Brenda was going to be his wife. She was wearing her ring, blissfully happy, engaged not because she was pregnant with his baby. He made a point to tell her that because it was true. Would it matter if this kid was Jax's? Could Dylan love it the same? And could he deal with the fact that Jax was around for good? I mean they'd share custody! Dylan didn't know Jax all that well but in the short time he dated Brenda he had only confirmed that he was a stand up guy. This baby would be a blessing. He wouldn't back down on his responsibilities. Dylan wasn't stupid, he'd want to be part of it. Fuck he'd want to probably be at the hospital or worse the delivery room holding one of her hands. FUCK NO. This was his happiness. This was getting a chance to experience the things he missed with Olivia. Fuck that. He didn't want to share this baby with anyone but his family. It didn't matter. If Brenda was oblivious to the possibility this kid was not his he wasn't going to mention it. Maybe it was an asshole thing to think, but desperate men do desperate things.

Breakfast was less awkward then the wake up in the bedroom. Dylan acted like his old self. He groped Brenda's ass while she flipped pancakes and kissed her neck as she drank coffee. He tried hard to put his doubts and thoughts aside. He and Brenda were having a baby. Even if it came out looking like Jax. Brandon had blue eyes. Light hair. Brenda's eyes were light. It didn't matter. It was his baby. This baby would have his last name regardless of genetics, that much he was sure of. And after they were married Brenda and Olivia would be McKay's too. That was all that mattered at this point.

"So what's gonna happen at this appointment?" Dylan held Brenda's hand in the exam room. He grinned at her, but the excitement didn't meet his eyes.

"They'll do labs, probably an ultrasound to tell me how far along I am, give us the due date." She smiled at him and he looked down. She bumped her shoulder with his, "What's going on with you?"

Dylan shook his head, "Nothing." His voice too high.

Brenda smirked, "Come on Dylan…tell me."

"Nothing is wrong Brenda." His voice more stern.

She silently stared at him, her heart broke, her hormones created fear. "You want this right?" She asked complete fear in her voice. Dylan's head whipped to her quickly shocked.

"Yes! Yes I do." He shook his head, breathing out letting go of her hand and pacing twice.

"What is it?" Brenda's sad voice asked quietly.

He looked at her, he moved quickly sitting down next to her. He grabbed her hand, intertwining hers with his. "I'm…I'm just thinking a lot. And…"

Brenda's hand went to his face. She cupped his cheek, her face sympathetic , "You're afraid?"

Dylan sighed and shook his head, "No…I'm not…it's just…"

"I know it's scary but it will be fine. This is all normal feelings…" Brenda continued.

"Is this baby mine?" The words rushed out interrupting her.

Brenda's breath caught in her throat. She flinched at his words like a slap in the face. Her expression turned devastated quickly. Dylan reached for her hand as she pulled it away. "I'm sorry…baby…I…it doesn't matter…fuck…I'm sorry" he tried to justify.

Brenda swallowed hard, her face moving forward as the exam room door swung open after a quick knock. "Brenda Walsh?" The middle aged obgyn smiled. The awkward tension thick in the exam room. "How are you feeling?"

Brenda nodded, "Um…okay." She lied, she pushed back the tears at bay. Dylan reached for her hand. He intertwined his hand with hers, he squeezed it she didn't hold his back.

Dr. Harris smiled at Dylan, "You must be dad?"

Dylan looked at Brenda as she made a faint huff sound. He stood and reached out his hand, "Yes…I'm the father. Dylan McKay" They shook respectfully.

"Nice to meet you." The doctor scanned her badge into the computer in the room and Brenda's chart appeared on the screen. "Alright Brenda…we ran your urine…definitely pregnant." She smiled and then went back to the screen, "Just a few questions, when was your last period?"

Brenda cleared her throat as she pulled her hand from Dylan's roughly, now that the doctor had her eyes on the computer in front of her. " October 4th." She sighed.

A smirk hit Dylan's lips but he stayed quiet. She had a period after Arizona.

The doctor typed into the computer, "Ok…July 11th due date. Any cramping any spotting?"

Brenda shook her head, "No."

"Sickness?"

"No…not yet." She smiled kindly.

The doctor chuckled, "Well from your last menstrual period I think your about 6 weeks, but lay back, let's see if we can see anything." Brenda did what she was instructed. "Just so you guys know it's early but we should see something. I usually don't see my patients until about 8 weeks but we have your chart notes from your London Ob and I know you had a few issues with your last pregnancy, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a look."

Shame filled Dylan's chest. He looked at the side of Brenda's face. She was keeping up a good front but he knew what was coming. Brenda's wrath over his stupidity would come over him like a hurricane. If only he shut his fucking mouth for 15 minutes all this would have been avoidable.

"There is your uterine wall." The doctor clicked into the machine. She took measurements silently. She pointed moving the monitor towards Brenda and Dylan, "And here is your baby." She pointed out the small little blob on the screen. "About 6 weeks 3 days. A little early for a heart beat but we'll see you back in a couple weeks to check again." She hit print and printed a picture for them, "Everything looks good."

Dylan stared at the black and white blob, it closely resembled a bean. He smiled happily feeling the warmth of joy spread through him quickly. He stood and leaned down kissing Brenda on the head. "I love you." He breathed in her ear. Brenda ignored him. Anger radiating off her. She closed her eyes trying to keep it together.

The doctor finished up, "Congratulations you too." She smiled a warm smile, "Brenda you need to start taking prenatal vitamins right away, no drinking, no smoking…you know the drill, healthy habits."

Brenda nodded, "Yes of course."

"I know it's not you twos first rodeo but my warning lecture is the same." She laughed. "Make an appointment for 2 weeks up front and congratulations again. Do you have any questions?"

Brenda and Dylan silently shook their head.

The doctor left quickly after that. Silence fell over them it was almost deafening.

"Bren?" Dylan whispered.

"Don't…Don't." She got up grabbing her clothes and dressing with quickness.

"I'm sorry baby…I'm so sorry." Dylan begged.

She shook her head, not here, she couldn't do this here. Dylan already saw the tears forming in her eyes.

He kept quiet as she changed back into her jeans, she grabbed her purse forcefully and opened the exam room. She walked out quickly, bypassing the appointment window knowing she'd call later when she was calmer. Dylan followed behind her. Waiting patiently to be told off. The silence lasted all the way to the parking lot as she waited silently for him to unlock the door. She got in, slamming the passenger side door hard. Dylan gently opened the drivers side, sat in the seat, waited for the expectant explosion but was not prepared for what came next. Brenda didn't yell, she sobbed and started crying. You know those questions Dylan asked himself earlier? How do you tell the love of your life you suspect this baby isn't yours? How do you do it without hurting them? Without making them feel like a complete and utter slut? The answer is simple. You don't.

 _So many people showed concern in their reviews about the paternity of this baby. In stories its always hard to nail out time lines. I try the best I can but usually the detail is so minor people miss it. So here is an explanation. Brenda and Dylan have exclusively been sleeping together for over six weeks, which was mentioned in last chapter. Arizona was September as Brenda talked about the hot desert heat bleeding into fall. They break up, a week later gets her period Oct 4th. Dylan and Brenda start sleeping together. Obviously over 6 weeks she is late. There was no question in her mind who the father of her baby was. But since so many were questioning it I made a point to write a chapter about Dylan's fear. Next up, Dylan seeks advice and grovels. Brenda seeks advice too. No one knows these two are engaged and expecting a baby but they'll find out soon. Not even Olivia has an idea, she's been with Iris. They won't tell her about the baby right away, it being so early in her pregnancy but she will find out about her parents engagement. Brenda is heartbroken. Dylan feels like shit. Hit review, updates soon!_


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